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AUTO DA FE

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------- Robin gunned her husband’s electric-blue Buick into Brenners’ parking lot. She got out and slammed the door noisily. An elderly couple stopped to glare. Robin was a tall blonde, one of those women men hurry to catch up to until they see her haggard face. She spotted Darlene at a table by the window.

------- “Hi, hon,” Darlene said, “good to see you.”

------- “Really brightens your day, huh?”

------- “Hey, c’mon.”

------- ”I look like shit, Darlene.”

------- Darlene shook her head. “You just look tired.”

------- “You got it. Tired of my job. Tired of the house and kids. Especially tired of Leonard and his stupid car. I think I’m tired of living.”

------- “Whoa, baby, slow down. It can’t be that bad.”

------- “Who says it can’t?”

------- “What’s he done?”

------- “What do people kill for, Darlene? Love, money, revenge? All I know is he’s got some bimbo on the side, blows his paycheck at the casino, and expects me to bail him out. The kids just lie around.”

------- “Hi, Marvin,” Darlene said.

------- “What can I get you lovely ladies?”

------- “Pecan pie and coffee,” Darlene told him.

------- Robin ordered a hot fudge sundae with nuts and jimmies.

------- “Coming right up.” Marvin gave an exaggerated salute. The women watched as he waddled into the kitchen.

-------“So, kick ‘em out,” Darlene said. “They’re over twenty-one. Kick Leonard out, too, while you’re at it.”

-------“It’s Leonard’s house! He inherited it from his mom. I just pay the taxes and the utilities. And buy all the damn food!”

------- “Then why don’t you leave, Robin? Flew the coop! It doesn’t sound like you’d be losing much.” She looked thoughtful. “Where would you go?”

------- “I don’t know, Darlene. Frisco maybe? God, what a place that is. They call it ‘Oz’.” Robin shook her head. “No, Darl, I can’t run. The kids’d hate me, and I’ve still got a soft spot for the stinkers. Everybody would hate me. What went wrong? You think they’d miss me if I died?”

------- “Second time you’ve said that.” Darlene looked at her hard. “You’re not the type.”

------- “What do you mean?” Robin bristled.

------- “Suicides don’t order hot fudge sundaes with jimmies.”

------- Robin had to smile. “You’re right, but it’s getting me down.”

------- “You bet it is. You look beat up, only it’s not you. It’s your lousy life. You’re a good-looking chick under those worry lines. Have faith, babe. Something’ll fall from heaven.”

------- “Right, a jet’ll drop a block of frozen turds on my head.”

------- Darlene grinned. “Or one of those astronauts will land on us, and all our troubles will be over.”

------- Robin looked puzzled for a moment. “You mean asteroids!” she said with a laugh. “Yeah, that’d do it. Maybe a volcano in the back yard or mechanical microbes that turn the universe to gray goo. But I couldn’t kill myself.”

------- “Me neither,” Darlene said. “I never understood that movie, you know, the one where they drive into the Grand Canyon.”

------- “No, but...” Robin stared through the restaurant window at the parking lot for a moment, her spoonful of ice cream hung in mid-air. She finished the ice cream quickly and dropped the spoon in the dish with a clink.

-------“Darlene, my dear, you’re a freaking genius! Forget the pie. We have stuff to do.”

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-------Aural Gorge was the nearest thing to the Grand Canyon in Saltersville. The Buick sailed through the guard rail with momentary grace before it belly flopped into the swollen Rambuncus.

-------No body was found, but the note tacked to the garage door seemed clear enough: “The old lady’s gone to Oz. I was tired of being blue.”

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8 August 07

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