Chez Chesler

Las Vegas reviewjournal.com -- Opinion: EDITORIAL: Meanwhile ...

The ongoing era of hyper political correctness has slain satire. There is nothing one can concoct -- no matter how asinine, idiotic or stupid -- that might not spring forth from this plague. Consider the case of Terrell Jones, a student at Grayson High School in Georgia's Gwinnett County. Mr. Jones had moved to the area from Hempstead, N.Y. On Monday [August 23, 2004], he wore a shirt celebrating his hometown with the words "Hempstead, NY 516." The 516 refers to the Long Island town's area code. Alas, Mr. Jones was escorted from class at some point during the school day. An eagle-eyed administrator who apparently flunked geography spotted the shirt and thought it referred to marijuana. Not until Mr. Jones persuaded school officials to search the Internet for the New York town's name did they allow him to return to his studies. "It's important to remember that the vigilance of our administrators is important," said a spokeswoman for the Gwinnett County schools, who deserves a raise. It's a good thing the young Jones didn't hail from Intercourse, Pa.

This story was reported also on various wire services

Last Widow of a Civil War Veteran Dies

Alberta Martin, the last widow of a Civil War veteran, died on Memorial Day, 2004. In 1926, Martin, a 21-year-old widow with a young son met William Jasper Martin, an 81-year-old widower with a veteran's pension, "and a marriage of convenience was born. ... They were married on December 10, 1927, and 10 months later had a son, William." "William Jasper Martin died on July 8, 1931. Two months later, Alberta Martin married her late husband's grandson, Charlie Martin. He died in 1983." That marriage would have been illegal in Massachusetts. It would be wrong to question the younger William's paternity, even given Alberta's whirlwind romance with Charlie, so this makes William one of the last people fathered by a Civil War veteran. Is he the last? From both sides? And who is the oldest living offspring of a Civil War veteran?

The Volokh Conspiracy regulary reports on incidents of high school censorship. I found this story about Bevery High School, in the Boston Herald on May 21, 2004 pretty silly.

Instead of donning typical dress of doctors, lawyers, or other so-called respectable jobs on Career Day, dozens of seniors showed up as streetwalkers and pimps. Guys sported canes, feathered hats, pink boas, and gold chains. Girls wore fishnet stockings, clingy skirts and high heels.

It was one of the better senior pranks in recent years, students said yesterday, but administrators were not amused. Four boys were reportedly suspended from the lacrosse team for participating.

Shoe bomber Richard Reid has been denied access in prison to Time magazine. Apparently prison officials are concerned that letters to the editor could contain coded messages.

I'm confused as to why that matters? If there is any evil that Reid, or a terrorist mastermind, could perform behind bars, it's the access to things like gasoline that stops him, not information.

And if our enemies are so clever that they can slip undetectable coded messages through the letters, couldn't they also infiltrate the editorial staff of Time or some prestigious magazine and slip the coded messages into the editorial content or advertising?

Boston.com %2F Businerss %2F Happy Meals still making kids and McDonald%27s investors happy%2C 25 years later Happy Meals -- another thing tweeners missed out on. Subtracting 25 years from this summer, they were introducted right after I finished high school.

Boston.com / News / Nation / Washington / New 'Bushism' born at bill signing This one hit the mainstream press, not just Slate, and I don't get it.

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we," Bush said. "They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

He didn't way "we are thinking about new ways _we_ could harm our country and our people." Isn't it the job of Homeland Security to do just that, to think about new ways that _our_enemies_ could harm us? It's bad stragegy to build a Maginot line on the assumption that the next attack will be the same as the last one. Before 9/11, aircraft were protected against hijackers who were going to use guns to take hostages. They were not protected against hijackers who were going to use knives to use fueled-up aircraft to knock down landmark buildings. Now they are, sort of. I want to know that the folks whose job it is are working out "What if next time they use weaponless ninjas?" That's what quality assurance is all about, thinking about all the different things that could go wrong.