Pernicious Bloggage By Chlora Form the Cat

A lap top for sale ad as fine literature. This guy writes like I want to when I grow up. Read the whole thing here.
Its incredible.

For Sale: Hunk Of Sleek Magic
Love, lust, memory, a million whirling words. Our columnist sells his most divine appliance

By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist Friday, October 10, 2003

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For sale: Perhaps the most astounding appliance ever to exist in the history of the known universe, ever. Cheap.

This device, it is simply packed with magic. Crammed. Oozing. Power and mad desire and creative force and cute little blinking things.

I know this to be true. I am convinced the device has been touched by divine electric spark and beauty and aesthetic grace and because of this it is, in a way, priceless. But, nevertheless, I am asking about $1,150 for it. And it's worth every penny.

See, this device, it has traveled. It's been around. It knows things. It has been to Hawaii, for example. Not once, but three times. Mai tais and active volcanoes and warm balmy nights and groin-tingling sunsets, and it has been struck deeply.

OH-MY-gODD!!!!!
See?? What did I tell you about how we should finally send California into the Pacific? More reasons!
The man is a 65 year old comedian for chrissakes!!! Poor Tommy.
Oh yeah, and while we're at it, we should just feel sorry for- and be understanding about- Rush Limbaugh.
I cant stand it!!
I'm sure the people of CA feel much safer now that probably millions in tax dollars were spent to get that scourge, Tommy Chong and his evil bongs off the streets!
Assholes!

Deroy Murdock: 'Uncle Sam's wacky war on drugs'
Posted on Friday, October 24 @ 10:02:03 EDT
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By Deroy Murdock, AlterNet

Comedian Tommy Chong began a nine-month federal prison sentence on October 7 for operating a glass-blowing shop that sold pipes to marijuana smokers. Prosecutors were not impressed that his Nice Dreams Enterprises marketed a morally neutral product. Chong's pipes, after all, could be used with loose-leaf tobacco, just as any stoner in an Armani suit can smoke pot in a lawful Dunhill meerschaum.

In fact, as the Los Angeles Times reported October 10, Assistant U.S. Attorney Mary Houghton's court pleadings sought Chong's harsh punishment because he got rich "glamorizing the illegal distribution and use of marijuana" in films that "trivialize law enforcement efforts to combat drug trafficking and use."

Chong must have wondered when such activities became criminal. Perhaps the FBI now will arrest Sean Penn for hilariously smoking grass in "Fast Times at Ridgemont High." Then they can handcuff Denzel Washington for portraying a crooked narcotics officer in "Training Day."

For the full article ( a "must" read) go to the chimp.--Chlora

Thanks to my dear friend Deb

In a rare moment of candor, politicians discuss their penis size.

The Bug Deals or This Bugs for You

I was afraid that I'd have less and less to say as I get into "winter hybernation mode" as I do every year. (More about that-maybe- later.) But Bmo asked me about bugs at camp. I can talk about camp forever. So as long as you can listen to it- I can talk about it.
This picture is from 3 years ago when it was still under construction. It's much nicer now, but since my digital camera died, it's the best I have unless Eddie sends me something.

Yes, There are lots of bugs. The camp's in the woods, by a lake. But I have a deals in place for peaceful co-existence with most of the bugs. (Plus side deals with the birds and bats to help control them.) I'm going to buy some bug identification books to keep on the shelf with the plant, bird, tree and mushroom books. There are bugs up there the likes of which I have never seen.

Black flies- Negotiations with the black flies were painful. I had to give them there own "season".
Last spring in the middle of May I went up to open camp with Eddie and his 4 year old, Rachael. I had always heard about black fly season. Never knew what the big deal was. Apparently, I had never been there in the middle of it.
We have to spend alot of time outside to open camp, putting in the pump and hooking up the water.
It's like something from the worst horror movie you've ever seen. Clouds of them. Billions of them. And they want to eat you. They must have jaws twice the size of their bodies. Their bites don't itch, they're sore, and leave marks so big they scar. We had to cover ourselves from head to foot and I still couldnt spend more than 5 minutes outside without screaming and grabbing Rachael and running back inside.
I'm not, as a rule, a girlie girl who's bothered by bugs. But I draw the line at eating them and breathing them. Chemically, blackflies are not a solid- they're a gas. They find a way to seep into your clothes and every orifice.
I'm convinced that if we spent another 5 minutes outside during black fly season they would have picked our skeletons clean like schools of piranha. Fortunately, I think black fly season only lasts a week or two.
The Deal- Middle of May blackflies own the woods. Stay inside or stay home.

Mosquitos- The mosquitos haven't been too bad since we struck our deal.
Two years ago in the spring they took on a "cloud" mentality like the blackflies. I was there alone opening camp. It was so bad I had to cover myself from head to foot including: a tied, hooded sweatshirt with baseball cap under the hood and bandana tied over my nose and mouth and gloves- and they bit me through everything anyway. No brand or amount of repellant helped. (Personally, I'm convinced repellant companies put something in their formulas that actually ATTRACTS them so you use more repellant.) At one point, while using a blowtorch to loosen a pipe, I almost burned my face trying to shoo the mosquitos away. That was pretty stupid. I've never seen it so bad before or since.
So.. the Deal- Mosquitos are allowed only dusk. At that point we go in and have supper.. while they have theirs. Then we can go back out.

Bats, Birds, Frogs, Fish and Dragonflies- At this point I should mention the side deals I have with my friends who eat mosquitos and blackflies.
I LOVE them! I do everything I can to encourage them. There are new phoebe nests every spring in the eaves of the porch. My presence there annoys them a little so I try to show a little consideration when the babies hatch. But I think they're getting used to me. I put out birdseed and hummingbird food. In return they eat the bugs and put on a great nature show that I can watch from the kitchen table. I'm going to put up "bat boxes". I love the bats too. They- along with the fish, frogs and dragonflies do a great job keeping the beach bug free so we can look at the stars and party outside at night. They also put on a great aerial show there.
The Deal for them- All you can eat, family-style dining, all the time. Tell your friends. Can I bring you a beverage?

Moths- At night moths were a problem. They dive-bombed us and swarmed into the camp everytime we opened the door. Fortunately, moths are pretty stupid and easy to trick.
I had alot of lights installed outside when we built the place. That was a mistake. It just attracts moths. So now we use flashlights outside unless we need alot of light and both hands free. Then we work as quickly as possible, dont leave the door open, and shut the outside lights back off.
Any time we had a bonfire or candles outside, they flew right into the flames. Stupid. I've also noticed a species of moth so tiny they can come in through the screens. They pretty much stay near the screens when they do come in, so the only time they bother me at all is while I'm in bed reading. My reading lamp is right in front of the window over my head so sometimes they land on my book and pillow. I just brush them away. I dont try to kill them but they seem to be very fragile. (If I've ever lent you a book, that's what those tiny smudges are. The big smudges are snack food.)
Moths are too stupid- No Deal.

Carpenter Ants- There is no dealing with the carpenter ants. They are the terrorists of camp and we are at war.
It is jihad.
Carpenter ants chew through dead trees, looking for water apparently, and hollow them out in the middle. The first spring after the camp was built a gust of wind took down a 100 ft pine tree, which took out my brand new powerline. The tree had been completely hollowed out by carpenter ants.
Unfortunately, my log home is MADE OUT OF DEAD TREES!! I started noticing little piles of sawdust in the corners and along the walls. At first I thought it was from the construction. I swept them up. They came back. Uh oh.
So now we are at war. I have applied every form of chemical weapon inside and out, short of having the place bombed by a professional. ( I dont like the idea of poisoning myself while trying to poison them, and it would probably only be a temporary solution anyway.) This year I hired Dave the Tree Guy (and brought my own personal army) to take down dead trees and clear brush within a 25ft radius of the camp. We are keeping them at bay. I'm hoping they'll decide eating my camp just isn't worth the trouble in an entire forest full of dead trees. My only ally in this war (much like Great Britain) are the woodpeckers. Anybody know how to attract more woodpeckers?
The Deal for carpenter ants- No deal. Go away or die.

So as long as we follow these simple rules the bugs dont bother us much.

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