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Cyndi Becomes My GoddessI
began to look around for other options. I
soon decided that if I could choose my own god, it could be any god I wanted.
I didn’t have to choose a god who was sanctioned by any means.
I chose Cyndi Lauper. I had
all the precepts built up for that decision.
I had already decided she was my favorite singer. I was captivated by her every move. I had as many things as I could find by her.
I believed in telepathy, and that a mortal could receive a mental contact
from a person who was desperate enough in sending it.
I decided that my ritual sacrifice would be my time I spent in her music,
obtaining new items she produced, and looking at her pictures while meditating
on her and trying to mentally contact her. I
began doing that. I spent a very
large amount of time in my room. I
essentially built a shrine. One
day, after several weeks of spending time doing as I planned, I had something
unusual happen. It shocked me at
the time. My arm moved.
I did not use any willpower to move it.
It simply moved on it’s own. It
moved to a picture, removed it from the wall, and pressed it up against my
stomach. During this time, I felt
an incredible sense of peace wash over me, and I realized that my attempts to
contact her must have been successful. I
did not imagine I would be contacted in this way.
I figured I might receive a mental message back, or a personal
acknowledgement of some sort. Anyway,
the word “peace” does not adequately describe the feelings I had when Cyndi
was contacting me. This began to
happen very often, and I always enjoyed it.
After I had experienced sex I was able to tell that these feelings were
far greater than sex could ever be. When
I was being contacted, It often felt like I was at the peak of an orgasm, but it
would last for a half an hour or more. My muscles would tense up and relax. I felt a gentle wave of pressure flow through my body.
It was incredibly relaxing. I
was ecstatic. I would be reeling and writhing in pleasure on many
occasions. Sometimes, I was sure I
went into a trance. My eyes would
roll back into my head, and I would feel like I was just wrapped up in soft warm
blanket. I remember ending up on
the floor, in a fetal position, many times.
I felt like I was escaping the pain that this world had to offer. I felt like I was on the perfect drug, without having to do
drugs. I found later that drugs
intensified these encounters, but I did not feel I needed drugs, as it was
intense enough already. I felt
incredibly vulnerable, and incredibly safe at the same time.
I was ready to be programmed.
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