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::: Film Review Archives :::
::: 2004 :::
Garden State - "Garden State is one of the most beautiful and visually appraising films I have seen this year, and in a while. It's special, quaint, and realistic - all thanks to the witty banter that belongs to Zach Braff and his creative genius at work."
Hero - "With a dash of the gracefulness of Kurosawa as well as the dreamish sequences, Hero is one of the incredible visual masterpieces of foreign film of all time."
Hotel Rwanda - "Apparently, the real Paul Rusesabagina attended many of the press screenings recently with director Terry George. This is a great example where more people will give a standing ovation to not just the movie, but the hero himself."
Sideways - "Connoisseurs say that wine betters itself as it ages. Methinks in the future, this film will be at the top of my rack. It's a delightful and simplistic comedy that all should find hilarious and insightful - one of this year's best."
Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter...and Spring - "As our main two characters are living on an isolated hut in the middle of a lake, the director Kim expresses the dependence upon each other, and how the environment blends in by its vast nature and grandeur."
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow - "The film has a certain feel to it that can not be described through either the premises, the visuals, or the acting - but as a definitive value of the cinema itself. It is fun, entertaining, amazing to look at, and amazing to hear. It is a great film of outstanding proportions."
Anchorman - "Ferrell is one of the comic legends of his time, taking all his potential and exerting it into this film. Whether it's his dry sense of humor, to his outright silliness that he achieved in Old School, it's all wound together in Anchorman."
Badasssss! - " Mario Van Peebles brings the historical name back to his father, showing how much one man would sacrifice - his money, his health, his job - just to present a universal message to his brothers and sisters."
Bad Education - "A triumph in foreign film-noir. With his extensive use of vivid colors, murky locales, and homoeroticism, Almodóvar has got yet another great credit on his growing resumé."
Cellular - "Cellular employs some amazing tactics that still preserve the old fashioned fun-flick feeling of the thriller as well as introduce a great comedic sidetrack to the film as well. This movie is thrilling, chilling, funny, and fun."
Corporation, The - "Despite our small benefits from these [organizations], they are not so thoughtful as we may think - which is main intent of the movie - to uncover and enlighten us on some of these issues."
De-Lovely - "De-Lovely contains an eclectic mix of great tunes from great singers, as well as the super casting job of Kevin Kline as Cole Porter, and promises to be one of the best musicals I've seen in a while."
Finding Neverland - "Forster, after his success with 'Monster's Ball', will probably gain the same amount of praise for this film. Although not perfect, it is an amazing film which will probably snag a couple nominations in the end."
Goijira (1954) - "Despite the focus on the horrors of Godzilla in the film, this movie holds a message bigger than its monster. Cheesy? Of course. Enjoyable? Yes. Symbolic? Absolutely."
House of Flying Daggers - "A free-flowing work of art that will captivate everyone in the theater, with a metaphor laden story that's just inches away from perfect. It's music to the eye, and a festival to the senses."
In Good Company - "Dennis Quaid and Topher Grace triumph in this quaint, beautiful film about learning about yourself and changing for others. Some will take the film to be just another people-drama, but here lies a satire of corporate takeovers and the truth about taking control of your life."
Kill Bill Vol. 2 - "Unsatisfied moviegoers will complain about a lack of violence, film critics who are and aren't impressed by Tarantino's former works will learn to love this."
Napoleon Dynamite - "Our audiences will find this certain loser to be quite a winner. Napoleon Dynamite, the guy who's out to prove that he's got nothing prove, has proved one thing for sure - this movie is quirky, amusing, and generally hilarious."
Polar Express, The - "Instead of solely focusing on the presents, the wanting, and the getting, director Robert Zemeckis unleashes his imaginary skills once again with 'The Polar Express', which is undoubtedly one of the greatest visual accomplishments of the year, but especially the Christmas genre itself."
Shrek 2 - "The sequel, which breaks away from the cliched plot that the original tended to stick with, has given us the same amount of brisk and fresh humor and dialogue, with a hilarious story to help it ride along."
Spider-Man 2 - "Spider-Man 2 proves not only to be one of the best movies this summer, but also one of the best superhero movies of all time, towering over its predecessor. It's bound to leave everybody in the theater impressed, with all their popcorn bags empty."
Super Size Me - "Super Size Me is a great documentary, with a enjoyable protagonist and a mission you hardly see these days. It was funny, unique, and most off interested - not once did I find myself bored with the material or tired of Spurlock's voice-overs."
Team America: World Police - "I loved Team America so much, I have money on it right now that this will be my choice for funniest movie of the year. It's obscene, slaphappy, and absolutely a 10 on the laugh factor."
Terminal, The - "Unlike his last film, Catch Me If You Can, he ditches stylistic devices in his camerawork and directing, and relies more on the cast's will, such as Hanks' improvisation at the role of Victor."
After the Sunset - "The beauty of 'After the Sunset' is that it combines luxury, sex, and greed throughout the film without being hastily paced. It feels like James Bond joined Ocean's Eleven, but with a lot of good-natured humor incorporated along with it."
Aviator, The - "It wows the audience over with its incredible eye candy - the lights, camera, action of 'Hell's Angels', the exquisite beauty of Howard's cover girls, and the intensity of his control of power. This is Hollywood at its best production, but fails briefly in explaining certain plot elements."
Beyond the Sea - "It falls into the little timeworn traps of the biography, with its dramatization and dumb love sequences that are bound to fall apart the end - but the job by Spacey as Bobby Darin and the fabulous musical numbers compensate for all of that."
Day Without A Mexican, A - "When it comes to raising awareness about the endowments Mexicans provide for the United States, even with all the name bashing such as 'alien' or 'illegal immigrant', this film has no fear in dealing with this - even if it has to be deadly satirical and funny."
Dodgeball - "It may be stupid, pointless, and crude, but most importantly - it's laugh-out-loud hilarious. Definitely one of the funnier movies this year."
Flight of the Phoenix - "It's not interested in sparking little love affairs to make the movie happier, or stupid subplots to divert our attention - our characters need to get out of the desert as soon as possible, and that's about all they care about."
Friday Night Lights - "Although it has its usual amount of the same old stuff with the rustic smell of American football on its celluloid, it's got something real that I haven't seen in awhile."
Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle - "Sure, you'll have your crappy writing here and there, but the film gets so funny and off the wall that you'll find yourself laughing at the stoner comedy once again."
Hunting of the President, The - "It seems to me not to become a flaming attack on the rightwing, but an honest in-depth look into the jealousy thrown upon President Clinton...a worthwhile documentary."
Incredibles, The - "It's given Pixar an entirely different perspective on their animation-writing combination methods. Instead of trying too hard to keep the audience laughing on their 'trademark family-fun' material that they've succeeded with before, director Brad Bird combines top-notch animation of exotic locales, spy gadgets, and the whole shebang."
I, Robot - "What morals do robots follow? What about emotions? The film I, Robot is a great description that can answer a few of these questions as well as excite us with a great mix of writing and special effects."
Ladder 49 - "The movie is one not out there to impress anyone with cheap heroic cliches and visually exciting fires, but to simply show the earnest life of the ordinary fireman. Ladder 49 is an honest and attractive film that'll make you think for awhile."
Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events - "It's a mix of macabre mayhem and breakthrough children's humor, but don't say I didn't warn you."
Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou, The - "It's not as aesthetic as any of Anderson's former films, but still delightful in the measures of Bill Murray and its capricious visuals - especially the sealife designed by Henry Selick."
National Treasure - "In his usual fashion of big explosions, extensive and unimaginable plotlines, and cheap sexual tension, [Bruckheimer] has struck another gem with 'National Treasure.' Understandably the critics would have a reason to complain about its utterly silly plot, but once the ball starts rolling, it's so much fun you'll completely surpass it."
Ray - "The film still has a few of the unfashionable traits of this genre, but breathes life into what could've been a lackluster job on director Hackford's part, thanks to the simply perfect Jamie Foxx, as well as the incredible mix of music and narrative."
Saw - "Most importantly about Saw is that it's the first movie in years to genuinely scare the bajeezus out of me. With the grisly tones and imagery, you're eventually going to cringe and twitch your way to the end, and it's quite satisfying."
Secret Window - " Secret Window works on many levels, as a successful thriller, suspense, and horror film. It's such a simple little movie that packs a direct wallop, especially in it last half hour."
Shall We Dance? - "The film never tries desperately to be funny or special, but relies solely on the simplicity of its plot and its respective cast, and works."
Shaun of the Dead - "You'll love the jokes, you'll love the characters, and you'll get a bunch of laughs. Whether it be funny or slightly serious, the movie packs quite a wallop - aiming straight for the head."
Spongebob Squarepants Movie, The - "It's not made to create a brisk or coherent storyline, instead it swerves in and out of crazy situations like an underwater 'Road Trip'. But when viewed from the big picture, 'Spongebob' is a film too clever for its own good."
Suspect Zero - "It seems sketched a bit, but it's a simple and horrific movie that has its flaws, but has a slick and eerie execution that is all possible thanks to the amazing acting job of Ben Kingsley, and the troubled characterization by Aaron Eckhart."
Two Brothers - "Two Brothers, which is crafted very similarly to respective director Annaud's style that he used in '88's "L'Ours", where animals play the main roles, features stunning visuals, and lovable critters, that it's actually much more serious than it seems to be."
Without A Paddle - "It turns out to be a very enjoyable romp with likeable characters and a clear message. This film would not have been half as good if it were not for our three main heros, who are the work of a good casting job and a good director."
Woman Thou Art Loosed - "The film is very convincing of one young woman's slow and depressing doddering through life as she faces a conflict between her tattered consciousness and her religious subconcious - as well as a showstopping performance by Kimberly Elise."
Woodsman, The - "Kassell sticks to making a compelling case against our basic human desires, but reaches into deeper territories with a darker theme. It never feels too forced to make us cringe, letting the cast work their skills upon us."
Alfie - "The new 'Alfie' just doesn't pack the same wallop that the original 1966 version held. Although this remake is occasionally good, it concerns itself more with keeping intact the same amount of controversy of the original without focusing on the underlying message."
The Bourne Supremacy - "I was hoping the sequel, manned by a new director and new plot, would provide some different insight on the oh-so-complex character of Jason Bourne. But it simply doesn't work anyway - the movie is way too confusing, way too fast-paced, and in many aspects, quite boring."
Clearing, The - "The problem does not lie within the plot or cast members, but within the feeble and young directing skills of first timer Pieter Jan Brugge, who rather than let the film act on itself, uses too many stylistic techniques for filler."
Cookout, The - "The Cookout is far from bad - it fact, it's refreshing as a comedy and works effectively as a thoughtful film sometimes - but with its balance of bad acting, writing, and the occasional stupid cliche here and there."
Criminal - "Due to the terrible ending, the movie lands with a sputter. Nothing ingenious, nothing impressive, just another dumb con movie. Now let's get John C. Reilly a real job. "
Day After Tomorrow, The - "The movie's not a disaster itself, but I certainly hope that the summer churns out better stuff than this. If you're looking to take your mind off after renting You Got Served, and you want only special effects, see this movie, it won't disappoint you."
Fat Albert - "Something, some little spark of creativity, helps this movie go from trash to something slightly worthwhile to watch. It's very gentle in some parts, humdrum in others, but ends with a surprisingly heartwarming ending."
Garfield - "To put it nicely, I gave Garfield a fair rating because half of it annoyed the heck out of me, and the other half is enjoyable and inoffensive to the audience. Thankfully I wasn't entirely disappointed with the film, which I feared of being, but this actually sparked an old love of the comic strip."
Notebook, The - "Since half of it is just the basic Hollywood romance tripe we've already seen before, the other half is a genuinely beautiful love story. However, it's very hard to sit through the film, mostly because its storyline tends to become a bit predictable and tedious, though the acting and few twists save it in spots."
Paparazzi - "The shot is blurry at times, but briskly paced, and sometimes misses its target. With adequate action, subpar acting, and a great storyline, I'm sure some people will be able to enjoy the subtlely goofy premise of the movie."
Phantom of the Opera, The - "There are times that I was swept away by the blaring overture of the Phantom's entrance, and by some of the elaborate musical numbers as well. But there were just as many prosaic scenes which take an eternity to sum up a statement which would normally take three minutes."
Seed of Chucky - "Although Jennifer Tilly gives a hilarious performance as herself, the film is occasionally funny and hardly scary. Its evil little grin has toned down a bit, and its result is just mediocre."
Shark Tale - "Shark Tale is a brazenly stereotypical and occasionally hilarious romp for the kids and adults, but sinks when it comes to having a moral counterpart."
Soul Plane - "I left the movie laughing, much to the dismay of my friends. I don't think it's an utter crime to say that I did find this movie to be quite enjoyable, if to say the least, subpar."
Stander - "Based on a true story, director Hughes doesn't want to steer this picture into any certain direction, or have any special attributes to it either. It's either dry or edgy, flipping back and forth with the characters and their dilemmas, and caring very little about the audience."
Troy - "The Iliad is a historic tale that details the relationships, wars, and romances that created the Western world, and how the gods favored the sides. But director Petersen condenses this tale by taking away the gods, a lot of relationships, adding some romances, and taking away the history."
Wicker Park - "Based on a French film of a similar nature, the movie is highly aesthetic and not entirely wholesome, but relies on useless techniques rather than coherency. With a half-thrilling and half-irrational film on my hands, I'm completely torn on the actual film itself."
Alien vs. Predator - "Alien vs. Predator, originally a video game, is the newest level of 'versus' films. However, FOX has realized that the movie need not actually be good, but at least have one of two fights just to suffice the title, and fill the rest with stupid boring characters."
Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason - "Questioning her relationship from the past film, Bridget asks, 'What happens after you ride out into the sunset,' and the answer that question is 'nothing substantial'. I can't bear to watch 'Bridget Jones Diary' be given a pathetic follow-up such as this."
Closer - "By the end of the film, I felt tired. Tired of the incessant twists between our character's relationships, tired of the hammish and inconsistent acting skills, tired of everything that Nichols considered to be the true substance of the film."
Collateral - "It feels more like an 'amazing twist ending movie, and that you don't know what's coming to you next' - and this false hope is thrown away, playing out like an ordinary cut-and-paste thriller for the remaining time."
Fahrenheit 9/11 - "If you're tired of watching every single news channel, or updating yourself on the recent news in the war on terror, then maybe Fahrenheit 9/11 isn't the film for you. It's all politics, and no film."
Manchurian Candidate, The - "Fast-forward through 42 years - Paramount bought rights to the story, with the great Demme as director. But a change of heart takes place, and skews the once-great elements of the original into a contemporary thriller."
Meet the Fockers - "There's a line not to cross when it comes to sexual/potty gags, and everybody - the screenwriters, the director, and cast - all make a huge leap across."
Merchant of Venice, The - "Who would find interest in this film other than true Shakespeare fans? It's too ancient for mainstream viewers and too dry for the contemporary independent crowd - leaving the film with small crowds."
Primer - "Filled to the brim with lots of scientific terminology and some sort of undecipherable plotline about time travelling, Primer is pretty much the unfinished machine the film's heroes have created - it's a cool idea, but what does it really accomplish?"
Resident Evil: Apocalypse - "I can easily love a cliched film with a big climatic finale with guns and explosions and such, but I guess the novelty of it fades away when the entire movie is one big finale."
Sleepover - "We've seen our share of dumb blonde jokes and high heels, but we don't usually connect madcap comedy to grade school chick flicks. But with Sleepover, you get a mix between a potentially funny film, and a lot of cliched junk - but enough to make it enjoyable for its prime audience."
Thunderbirds - "This live-action version of the show had great potential, but instead ditches most of that on annoying characters and terrible writers. Sadly, Thunderbirds aren't go."
Yu-Gi-Oh! - "It wasn't the animation, or the characters that kept me interested, but it was the entire anarchic nature of the film, with its wild battles and sort of coherent plot. Of course, its potential is dealt a suffering blow by its shameless self-promotion of the game."
Blade: Trinity - "Some worthwhile comic relief was provided, but it's outweighted by the excessive tedium periodically placed between the action scenes - which, by the way, are nothing but two-minute intervals of kicking and disintegrating vampires."
Cinderella Story, A - "Hilary Duff is so typecast as the whiny and moaning personification of Cinderella - she employs every possible cliche that drops pathetic bouts of shame upon her career in acting and music. She should choose one or the other, or let her sister take the spotlight."
Grudge, The - "'Grudge' is too weighed down by its inability to present said scares originally and its the disconnected relationship between the storyline and its characters. Riddled with plotholes and inconsistencies, the movie just doesn't seem to care that it's so silly in the end."
I Heart Huckabees - "What's so profound? Absolutely nothing. 'I Heart Huckabees' is completely void of making a realistic statement due its excessive silliness."
Ocean's Twelve - "Whereas the original offered me questions such as 'how will they pull it off' and 'what's going to happen', the sequel made me ask myself, 'where's the heist?'"
Open Water - "To me, Open Water seems to be a terrible mixture between 'The Blair Witch Project' and a boring thriller, trying to get past its amateur ways by falsely mislabeling itself as professional."
Raise Your Voice - "It seems like it's obviously plugged for children, but its material and presentation seem too mature for any little eight year olds who love Hilary Duff. With tragic car crashes and stupid relationships, the movie is way too flawed to be shown in theaters."
Saved! - "With a topic that's been buzzing quite a bit, Saved turns out to be a piece of smug independent tripe, that uses alluring mainstream cliches to attract young audiences. It comes across as a generally unfunny and unoriginal drama-com, with few enjoyable characters and sappy writing."
Uncovered: The Whole Truth to the Iraq War - "The film is hardly a documentary, much less a film, as a runtime of 56 minutes, the edit job is as sloppy as it could be, and the information is just slapping you in the face saying 'Duh'."
Alexander - "As repeated several times in the film, Vergil is quoted for saying, 'Fortune favors the bold.' When, well it comes to Oliver Stone's interpretation, 'Fortune favors the bad, boring, and babyish."
Big Bounce, The - "There is nothing wrong with a bit of nudity in a film, but it is so overplayed here it's practically laughable. You can't sit through five whole minutes of screentime without Foster and Wilson getting dirty and naked."
Christmas with the Kranks - "I have a brilliant idea for studios making movies about Christmas - market them beforehand, and then put them out in theaters after the holiday season. That way, they might still be able to make a cent off it, and us critics and moviegoers don't have their lovely Christmas spirits bludgeoned by some idiotic and soulless cinematic yarn."
Exorcist: The Beginning - "It amazes me that after three directors, two rewrites, and a reshoot, that this is the best version of the film Morgan Creek Productions liked."
I Am David - "A complete miscalculation in epic narrative. Every encounter for David is the same - he tries to blend in with his surrounding, but everybody ends up rejecting him anyway and shooing him off to greener pastures."
King Arthur - "King Arthur, which seemed to have the potential of being a professionally done blockbuster, helmed by a director with an Oscar-winning film, and legendary producer Jerry Bruckheimer, falls flat of its promise and lulls the audience directly to their sleep."
Man on Fire - "This is one of those movies that all of your co-workers and friends will ooh-and-ahh over until you finally see it and you would wonder why it's the talk of the town in the first place."
New York Minute - "I've seen this plot before: the twins run around a city they don't know, they solve a crime, and they both fall in love with overaged guys. But with the wasted talents of three great comedians, and the unoriginal plot combines, New York Minute is only worth a few good minutes of my time."
Stepford Wives, The - "It never generated any lasting scenes of actual comedy, and gave its weight upon the cast and bad jokes just to try and support itself. They say the Stepword Wives have a secret, but it's already out of the bag - it sucked."
Surviving Christmas - "I came to the stark conclusion that this movie is neither funny nor well-acted. In fact, it's one of the most undeveloped comedies that will spoil your Christmas spirit like a bottle of eggnog stuck behind the furnace."
Taxi - "It's practically an hour and a half of the same old stuff: Fallon looking like a helpless pizza delivery boy, Queen Latifah telling everyone to shut up and sass off with some smart aleck comments, and various stupidity galore."
Van Helsing - "Director Stephen Sommers used the great wonder known as Dolby Surround Sound to his greatest advantage - to completely wash out all sense of understanding through loud sounds and effects."
White Chicks - "Writing? Sure, pull it out of Racial Comedy Screenwriting 101. It's just terrible, when even in today's standards, the only joke that's slightly funny deals with flatulence."
Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid - "The movie did leave me with a few good questions. First, why are there anacondas in Borneo, secondly, who actually would waste all their time over a stupid flower, and finally - why was this movie made in the first place?"
Birth - "It's beyond my belief that people like Jonathan Glazer are actually allowed to make films with premises so thin that they could make wallpaper. 'Birth' is like a minimalistic psycho-thriller, without any thrill, no theme, no coherence, and nothing interesting."
Catwoman - "I think every other critic on the earth who reviewed this film used a bad connotation involving cats to summarize it, such as 'kitty litter' and 'hairball', so I'll be fairly direct - this movie sucked."
Chronicles of Riddick, The - "Hollywood execs, feast yourself on the newest breakthrough in film history - the first 2-hour epileptic seizure, starring Vin Diesel."
Darkness - "This movie was made in 2002, and for some reason Miramax decided to release it last minute of the winter season. If it's been two years already, why bother releasing it at all? How can a line like 'the darkness eats my pencils' be taken seriously in any context anyway?"
Godsend - "Adam is cloned and reborn again. But when eight years pass, and strange things start happening, the parents are wondering what to do. My solution would be to end the movie, but obviously things don't end off too happily."
Little Black Book - "Stupidity embraces every inch of celluloid in this incredibly unfunny and pathetic shot at an alterna-romantic comedy. This one's going on my little black list of 2004."
Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement - "With only a few good laughs to stand on and one prized actress/singer, Garry Marshall doesn't have a lot to work with - so he cuts out on work for cut-and-paste crap."
Village, The - "To be quite blunt, I absolutely HATED The Village. It's boring, badly acting, badly written, and topped off with an incredibly stupid 'twist ending'. It's not worth watching, so much that I actually felt like complaining for my six-fifty back from the movie register."
Envy - "Instead of being a splash of fresh water, it's a direct slap in the face, jumbling your senses that you won't be able to tell whether it's actually trying to be funny or not."
Forgotten, The - "Important scenes aren't explained, they are assumed - cutting straight into the Achilles' heal of a movie's relationship with its audience. Instead of being a little more understanding, director Ruben would rather have heart-jolting scenes of horror than an explanable storyline."
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