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::: Film Review Archives :::
::: 2005 :::
Broken Flowers - "One of those films that continues to amaze me as it unravels - a relaxed arrangement of dry humor and emotional facets that only Jim Jarmusch can master so well."
Crash - "Haggis wants this not just to be a showcasing of intolerance, but a wake-up call to do something about it. There's magic, charm, shock, and value in this incredible piece of art."
Downfall - "These are no longer the iconic figureheads of a tragic era, they are pawns in a game set for their own destruction. Realism is always hard to conquer in historical movies, but Hirschbiegel's direction along with the casting of Bruno Ganz as Hitler, the job is flawless."
Lord of War - "Andrew Niccol sways the audience into the story with its guided style and sweeping flair posed by Nic Cage and this grooving cast, but draws all of this together with an advocating message that will leave the audience astonished."
Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith - "28 years have finally passed, and the Star Wars saga has come to a triumphant end. Now, by triumphant, I don't just mean satisfactory or practical - much like the last two entries - more like pretty damn good."
Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit - "With two of cartoon-land's most positive and loveable characters, a whole new environment surrounding them, and a little bit of stamina, Nick Park has created one of the few magnum opuses of animation...the year's best animated movie by hops and bounds."
Assassination of Richard Nixon, The - "At first glance, [our protagonist's] personality would spark disdain, but there is something universal about him - Bicke's reflections on humanity and American society seem more like truthful anecdotes than a madman's scribblings."
Batman Begins - "Nolan's coloring and imagery of Gotham is something that time can not place its finger upon. Is it during the Great Depression, or some post-apocalyptic time? This isn't told, and it isn't important - it's a world inside of its own, and Nolan has got full control over this."
Born Into Brothels - "When an 8-year old boy speaks of stealing one of the young girls into order to prevent her from joining the prostitution ring, nothing strikes deeper than this. These are not staged actions, these are entirely from the heart - it is a heartbreaking and deeply meditative experience."
Corpse Bride - "Call it a winning season for Tim Burton. After finishing a master remake of 'Willy Wonka', the celebrated new-age king of the macabre has struck cinematic gold with 'Corpse Bride'."
Dear Frankie - "It never feels obliged to favor the audience with a romantic storyline, or introduce little catchphrases that have some meaning at the end of the movie - it's a casual and loving tale told with caution and careful direction from first-timer Shona Auerbach."
In Her Shoes - "Like teaching an old dog new tricks: to take old, formulaic material and give it new insight and dimension...an intense and intimate profiling of two sisters."
Jarhead - "Our cast of immature combatants, in flaunting Kubrickian style, provides a trigger-happy state of alertness for their country, but tire after their opportunity never comes."
King Kong - "A nightmare to cringe in horror at, a romance to coo upon, a thriller to entice eyes - as if the hype of the original 1933 blockbuster was going to fire up the box office nearly a century later."
March of the Penguins - "For those who appreciate the simplistic beauty of the South Arctic circle's landscapes, as well as something to just watch for hours, then this is the right movie for you. It's an astonishing new look at one of nature's silliest little creatures."
Mindhunters - "It irks me deeply that I say this, but I feel it's about time for me to admit it - I actually enjoyed a movie directed by Renny Harlin... a hauntingly awesome film, that'll keep you strapped so close to your chair the theater will probably supply spatulas."
Ong-Bak - "Tony Jaa should be placed with the greats Bruce Lee, Jet Li, and Jackie Chan - because he is the sole reason that makes a little Thai flick like 'Ong-Bak' such an amazing spectacle. It slices, dices, and chops every recent marital arts movie to little bits."
Sin City - "[It takes] control of its audience through all means possible - it is a visual masterpiece, an arresting collection of tales beyond anything ordinary, a trip through the back alleys and red-light districts that only the comic books could describe."
Syriana - "A focused and feral picture that takes the audience to the metaphorical and literal pipelines of universal trade, corruption, oil, and greed."
Walk the Line - "Joaquin Phoenix's and Reese Witherspoon's characters are two that we actually learn to care about. They are average people with faults, and learn to overcome them no matter how many obstacles in the business come their way."
40 Year-Old Virgin, The - "Buried beneath this semi-Frat Pack blend of filth, innuendo, and inexplicable vulgarity is a tender and saccharine love story waiting to be unleashed. It makes an argument for real love."
Amityville Horror, The - "If the original had been remade frame-by-frame, audiences would probably have been bored out of their skulls. The New York tragedy has been a facelift, but one not too far away from the proposed story - and with a campier edge to the horrors."
Assault on Precinct 13 - "There is seemingly no chance for any of our 'heroes' to stop this opposing force, but we're taken back - we have to remember that this is an action flick. Something good has to come of it."
Be Cool - "A chain-reaction of caricatures and cartoons piled together to create a more wholesome experience - it has its occasional laugh-out-loud moments as well as its witticisms on modern-day competition in the music industries."
Bride and Prejudice - "Chadha uses the film as an opportunity to spotlight the simply gorgeous and talented actress Aishwarya Rai, who shines on brightly by her dazzling looks and melodious voice."
Brokeback Mountain - "Although it remains rather predictable, it also enraptures the audience with its luscious depiction of Midwestern America and its unfeigned tale of love lost and regained."
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - "A pleasure for children and adults alike. Bound to please everyone, it contains a smart sense of humor and a wholehearted story that still leaves the story's morals intact even to this day."
Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe - "The evident religious symbolism scattered amongst the plotlines is truly passable after you leave the theater...but maintains a sense of grandiose acting as well as lavish and enticing visuals."
Cinderella Man - "Every punch is a blow to Braddock's career, with each little swing the audiences grip their armrests. It's a thrill-ride for the last half-hour, and it really gives a full knock-out for a finale."
Exorcism of Emily Rose, The - "Although riddled with a few faults here and there, director Scott Derrickson mixes a blend of 'Law & Order'-inspired courtroom drama along with the paranormal and religious to tell the gripping tale of an actual American tale."
Flightplan - "Possibilities zoom past and grind themselves up in the jet engines, turbulence is ahead with other plot twists - this provides a great followup to 'Red Eye' in this delightfully thrilling fall season of film."
Great Raid, The - "Though it tends to lose focus on the actual raid itself, and becomes swept away in a fictional romance that distorts an American heroine's biography, the movie has got plenty of soul and shrapnel wound into its story."
Gunner Palace - "A raw, unskewed portrait of the American soldier in war-zone Iraq. Instead of polarizing its audience on political stances, it features no constant commentary from a director or writer - it's the soldier's story, not the documentarian's."
History of Violence, A - "A troubling in-depth look at the battle and baring of identity. I was expecting a departure from the strange mind of Cronenberg, but after more mulling I realize it seems to fit better."
Hitch - "Director Tennant and clever writer Bisch cooperate to make a raw yet comical view at modern-day relationships...they succeed in both connecting with our audience as well as providing some common insight to the world of love."
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, The - "With Adams' biting sense of humor and the talented actors that were chosen to fill his characters, 'Hitchhiker's Guide' has been one of the few movies I've laughed out loud watching this year."
Hostage - "2 hours worth of schlocky blockbuster entertainment, with a few original twists on today's mechanized template - and it works. Sure, it's not the most enlightening film to hit theaters these days, but what else is it supposed to do?"
Hustle & Flow - "A rhythmic, luscious, fresh set of beats with an excellent set of characters. It's a movie like this that can take any human being, despised or worshipped, strip it to its bones of faults and strengths, and reveal to everyone what it really is– only human."
Island, The - "Allows [Bay] to apply a twofold situation for the audience: an intelligent and mulling argument against the act of cloning, along with the trademark explosive action that typifies all of his movies."
Kung Fu Hustle - "A blend of wild and hilarious visuals, non-stop action, innovative characters, and a whole lot of charm. It gives a new name to the chow-mein western genre, and another opportunity for the multi-talented Chow to show everyone what he's got."
Land of the Dead - "George Romero not only created the original zombie film, but he sculpted and chiselled it to make it his own. It may not be the masterpiece that critics have described it as, but it certainly is a smart social satire disguised by extreme gore."
Love Song for Bobby Long, A - "Several audiences may accuse the film of being unoriginal in its execution, but it is Johansson's realism that makes this so believable. It's a fight for the spotlight between Travolta and Scarlett - who will upstage each other first?"
Madagascar - "[The movie,] which showboats some talented actors and comedians to play a motley crew of animals, is mostly annoying, but it's the quirky supporting characters and beautiful animation that really bring out the best in it."
Man of the House - "Judging by the looks of the trailer, I arrived at the theater with low expectations, only to find myself chuckling wholeheartedly through the entirety of the movie. Tommy Lee Jones shows that his comic side is still intact."
Red Eye - "Craven spends the time pinpointing the tension suffering between the characters played by McAdams and Murphy...a white-knuckled, edge-of-your-seat cliffhanger that thrills, chills, and absorbs the audience."
Robots - "The world in 'Robots' is one of limitless boundaries, a meld between the Fritz Langs and the Terry Gilliams of the world, with eccentric characters that follow the common code as similar movies have followed - everything can be joked about at its own expense."
Sahara - "Although the plot can switch from battleships to bounty hunters to toxic waste within minutes, Matthew McConaughey's Dirk Pitt character manages to embody all the skills to handle this. For those looking for a pleasant thrill for the weekend, this is it."
Saw 2 - "It's a movie that plot holes are required to be ignored, that entrails pour out like fountains, that idiotic characters are meant to be violated within."
Sky High - "Predictable, but has salacious wit and some great performances by supporting characters to really make the experience wholesome - it's funny, smart, and good-mannered, a great family film and one of the better movies out right now."
Valiant - "Satire is usually a concern for most CGI movies these days, depending on the material, but 'Valiant' is never hung up on cracking bird jokes every other minute."
War of the Worlds - "Isn't much more than your typical summer blockbuster, although it's better written and more classical than the others. Spielberg shows that he's got what it takes to entertain the audience and still ignite that magic touch to the screen."
Weather Man, The - "A thoughtful, provoking, and eccentric little film - not as satiric as 'Lord of War', not as believable as 'Sideways', but somewhere in the middle."
Wedding Crashers - "I've seen all this material before, but I still laugh. Is it because Vince Vaughn has just the right way of delivering that quote, or because Owen and Vince make a great screen duo, or just because of its forced uncivility? I think it's all of the above and more in the mix."
Zathura - "Using surreal backdrops and hi-octane action, actor-turned-director Jon Favreau exhibits the magic of moviemaking through this entertaining tale."
Aristocrats, The - "There are some cringe-worthy moments of humor, and there were times where I fell gasping for breath on the floor...it can be a funny movie, but as time goes on, it loses its edge - just an excuse to be extremely pervasive and obnoxious."
Bad News Bears (2005) - "A metaphorical screwball. It wavers back and forth from its sensible storyline to periods of uncontrollable laughter, and right when you think it's going to be a grand slam, it gives out and beans you straight in the forehead."
Beauty Shop - "There's only so many big butt jokes that you can make in one movie, but at least Queen Latifah can pull it off. Every now and then, the audiences gets a few lasting laughs, but there's nothing groundbreaking in this commentary-laden little movie."
Constant Gardener, The - "What should've been a plot becomes some sort of labyrinth of locales and officials. What could've been a tale buttered with political intrigue and corruption, becomes a mess - obscured by hammy performances and smoky camera tricks."
Constantine - "I'm afraid that too many critics will denounce this as a Matrix ripoff, but I must take this with a grain of salt - the majority of the characters are enjoyable, the premises are entertaining, and the whole mood surrounding the picture is one of dark intrigue."
Cry_Wolf - "The film is introduced with a killer innovation - the use of instant messaging as a ploy - but ditches the idea for good old fashioned plot twists and more of the same. The movie is somewhat decent, but one always wishes for just a bit more."
Dukes of Hazzard, The - "Director Jay Chandrasekhar takes enough creative liberties to change the squeaky-clean country show's image, and it will probably disappoint most fans. But it's still harmless fun in the end, and functions like any other comedy today does."
Fantastic Four - "Provides a worthy origin story to our four heroes, but it's also fair to say that it's a bit clunky. Not riding as smooth as the other superhero movies, it prefers to take itself less seriously than the other comics, but still give a bang on the action level."
House of Wax - "It has reverted to the old-fashioned method of slice-and-dice slashers for scares. 'Predictable' is not a word I'd use to describe the movie, because only one thing was certainly predictable to me - lots of teenagers died in the story."
Ice Princess - "The movie offers some great performances from veteran Joan Cusack and up-and-coming star Hayden Panettiere, as well provide some inoffensive fun for the young girl crowd that Disney is trying to gather."
In My Country - "Director John Boorman is given some powerful messages to send to the audience, but it's due to the horrible convoluted writing of Ann Peacock that really throws off his entire groove."
Man, The - "Eugene Levy and Samuel Jackson are hilarious together, a mish-mash of the serious and sparky, but they have nothing to run on. A weak plot and little action isn't enough."
Munich - "Tries to argue the futility of the Israel-Palestinian fracas through desperate dramatization, cheap thrills and explosions and their fruitless results...executes the big question with a fizzle."
Producers, The - "Feels like the opening act to an awards ceremony - caricatured, clunky, and awkward. Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick definitely put in the effort and energy, but the show is dead on arrival."
Racing Stripes - "It doesn't bother to attract older crowds, because even the ordinary adult wouldn't be that interested in a racing zebra....It's a kid's film with a few flaws, but puts a good deal of effort into moralizing the story."
Serenity - "What was a rip-roaring tour through the galaxy with a ragtag group of rebels becomes an opportunity to express socio-political sentiments in the middle of space."
Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants, The - "A mediocre film at most, but doesn't have any realistic touch to it. And when it accomplishes something that doesn't seem 'cliched' as you might say, they shove it in our faces. When the drama starts rolling, they expect every tear gland to be welling up."
Skeleton Key, The - "The ending's still an obligatory downer, but the scares come at a steady pace - Kate Hudson works fine, and some haunting performances by Gena Rowlands and John Hurt make this movie a suitable alternative for the dog days of summer."
Transporter 2 - "The sole feature that holds together the movie is Statham, with his furious expression and killer tendencies. The special effects become a little corny as the finale churns along, but the movie entertains regardless. "
Chicken Little - "Director Mark Dindal has composed a frantic, sometimes annoying movie that rips apart a fairy tale to make a modernist work of mayhem."
Devil's Rejects, The - "Here we have another episode in the nihilistic gore-glorifying fantasies of Rob Zombie, scribbled straight off the notepad and put onto the silver screen - an unattractive crock."
Doom - "It starts out promising, albeit shamefully cast and brain-numbingly written. But then it whips out a two-foot semi-automatic machine gun and shoots itself in the foot repeatedly."
Fun with Dick and Jane - "Enron was a national crisis, as thousands of innocent workers were left jobless and ruined because of common averice - so it's hard to take Dick and Jane's scenario and treat it with a sense of humor."
Guess Who - "Let me set the record straight: Ashton Kutcher is not Sidney Poitier. He isn't today, he isn't tomorrow; he never will be Sidney Poitier. So why in the hell do movie execs really think they can take classic cinema and suck it dry of all charm and soul that it has?"
Memoirs of a Geisha - "A tragedy - a commercialized, full-blown sell-out of foreign cinematic commodities that often give the film market a certain glimmer that is needed."
Pacifier, The - "This movie, just by first looks, could have been one of the most unoriginal and tasteless movies in recent times. I exaggerated...a lot. In fact, at times I found myself rather amused at the situations Vin Diesel would be put in."
Rebound - "The result is the same stale plot that focuses on character redemption and teamwork, but with a little bit of fresh humor added into the mix. Lawrence doesn't let the movie go to hell, but he doesn't change the fact that it's instinctively stupid."
Rumor Has It... - "This is no longer the clever 'Graduate' story I was hoping for, but a stale love story I've seen before. I have two words to say, just two words: plasticized storyline."
Son of the Mask - "It has a few good laughs, but aside from that, it's a filled-to-the-brim festival of Tex Avery eye-candy with various potty humor elements that can detract any audience member, young or old."
Stealth - "Can be very exciting at times, but it suffers from a lousy script and stock characters that it eventually becomes a watered-down version of a Jerry Bruckheimer feature. "
Unleashed - "Under its surface, it's a cuddly family story with such few minutes of intense action. So cushioned with sappy melodrama written by hack Luc Besson, I don't understand where the logic comes in to even bother putting the motto 'Serve no master' on its poster."
Wedding Date, The - "The director tries to make the film look unconventional in its execution, but it slows down the pace, turns up the heat, and ends up confusing the audience. Dermot Mulroney and Debra Messing give worthy performances as the title couple, but have very little to work with in this uninteresting and ineffective romance. "
White Noise - "All the right factors are available for this movie, but then something goes wrong. The writer Niall Johnson takes this perfectly suitable molehill and turns it into a ghost-infested mountain."
Boogeyman - "The movie overstays its welcome, after producing mechanical shocks that - in retrospect - are nothing but a series of purposeless events that are neither caused by the Boogeyman's doings nor respective to the storyline."
Diary of a Mad Black Woman - "Some of the characters are funny, but they seems misplaced in what is supposed to be a seemingly serious piece. For having the playwright write the screenplay and play three roles, how come he didn't take this film more seriously?"
Family Stone, The - "As long as the sardonic sniffling can take place throughout the first two-thirds of the movie, the director just wants something to tie it all together. Talk about an end to your holiday cheer."
Get Rich or Die Tryin' - "The true blame lies in the sweaty undershirt of 50 Cent, who exerts absolutely no emotional substance into his semi-autobiography whatsoever. "
High Tension - "This movie's plot twist simply, from any perspective, makes no sense at all, and could not be proven. If his point was to present a story that's too smart for its audience, then it shouldn't be presented in theaters in the first place."
Jacket, The - "It has come to the point where I watch 'The Jacket' continually expecting that some stupid twist of fate will throw off my concentration entirely and ruin the entire movie through a set of disconnected plot elements."
Longest Yard, The - "Sports and comedy are two genres that need to be properly combined, and when done without caution, can result in total crap...this revamp of the 1974 movie of the same name, is either too silly or too rough to be enjoyable."
Monster-in-Law - "A weak, malefic joke that combines low-class matricide and slapstick violence, but runs in circles around the concept of comedy - it tries, but never reaches its goal of sufficient, poignant humor."
Mr. And Mrs. Smith - "A soulless, boring feature with two uninteresting and mysterious main characters who concentrate so much on their fashion that the writers somehow ignore important plot elements like, 'What exactly do their jobs entail? And why are they focusing so much on Brad Pitt's boxers?'"
Must Love Dogs - "Rattled divorcee looking for love through the internet. Nosy family trying to set her up with a new beau. 'This Will Be' by Natalie Cole playing in the preview. Can we say Lifetime Original Movie, or what?"
Supercross - "If you like cycles, women in short shorts, loud rock music by indeterminable musicians, and people saying the word 'gnarly' ever ten minutes, you've got a weekend pass to the movies."
Wolf Creek - "A mess of a horror film...it exhibits nothing more than a misogynistic freakshow, which doesn't even break new ground when it comes to the gore factor."
Bewitched - "Nora Ephron's biggest mistake here was making a movie out of the making of a TV show. Here we have watered down or completely different versions of the show's characters, which makes it hard for fans (a majority of the audiences) to really enjoy it."
Coach Carter - "A shallow, dense piece that's all brawn, no brains. It creates useless dilemmas that are never solved, and employs Samuel Jackson as a gimmick rather than a character. "
Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo - "Wasn't the most painful movie of the year, but it's close enough. There's only so much stupidity that I can take in two hours."
Elektra - "Director Rob Bowman would rather document an in-depth look at our heroine's troubled past and her place in society. In the end, 'Elektra' is an uneventful, unmotivated piece that lacks a coherent plot and most importantly, action."
Hide and Seek - "Just another silly film that's miscast with good actors, and tarnished once the screenwriter decides to throw in the unimpressive finale. Like the children's game, it feels more like the fat kid who never got found."
Ring Two, The - "A lame and tedious counterpart to a modern classic, that has wasted its budget and time to narrate an uninteresting story that has least bit to do with the actual videotape."
Yes - "I can't describe how infuriating it was to sit through this movie. 'Yes' is a lot of things, but to name a few: it's pretentious, boring, and unnecessarily political – probably one of the most alienating independent movies I've seen recently."
Are We There Yet? - "This is by far one of the most rude, lewd, sickening, insulting, terrible, dreadful films I have ever seen. Even the fact that it's for children is no excuse for the perennial garbage this is."
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