A Review by Phil Calabro
2005, Columbia Pictures, Dir. Nora Ephron Starring Nicole Kidman, Will Ferrell, Jason Schwartzmann, Shirley MacClaine, Michael Caine, Kristen Chenoweth, Heather Burns, Jim Turner, Stephen Colbert, Steve Carell, David Alan Grier, Carole Shelley, Michael Badalucco
It's interesting to see a new perspective of a TV-series remake in this day in age, considering that it's becoming so mechanical that anything could make it more exciting. With 'The Honeymooners', 'Dukes of Hazzard', and even the Firefly-spinoff 'Serenity' hitting the screens this year, celebrated director Nora Ephron and her sister Delia have decided to give 'Bewitched' a whole new twist. But what they perceived to be a silly and innovative approach to a classic television show backfires to be not only one of this year's unfunniest films, but one of the most pathetic remakes in this decade. It's not 'Dumb and Dumberer', but it's getting closer. People will wait for comedian Will Ferrell to do something hysterical, but the hourglass never ends. Not even the darkest spell in the book could've made these jokes funny. One after another, it's a lame gag after another, and finishes on an abrupt and lifeless note. 'Bewitched' is a horrible mess of miscasting, misfires, and misfortune it tries to hit every genre possible, but ends up looking quiescent anyway.
Jack Wyatt (Ferrell) was once Hollywood's big star, but after a few Affleckian flops at the box office such as 'Katamandu' and 'Atticus Rex', he is left to resort to TV series. In a network's attempt to remake 'Bewitched', Jack who is an arrogant and selfish turd takes the role under the circumstances that a 'nobody' is cast as Samantha so he stands out on the show. Jack finds Isabel Bigelow (Kidman), who does the perfect nose twitch and acts exactly like a witch should. Little does anyone know that Isabel is, in fact, a real witch, who wants to live a normal life and stop having everything go her way. Her father Nigel (Caine) doesn't want her to, but Isabel stays intent on becoming a TV star. But when she learns that Jack's only using her to make a name for himself, she gets infuriated and casts a spell of love upon him. When that backfires, she decides to just get simple revenge upon him. Crazy stuff happens, but more and more, Isabel and Jack get closer to one another to point where they are in love. But Isabel still has to tell the horrifying truth to Jack
which may not go the way she wants.
Nicole Kidman is terribly miscast as Isabel Bigelow. Isabel, to a bigger degree, must act like a lot like Samantha (the late Elizabeth Montgomery's role on the old show), and she just simply can't. Isabel is a tender, thoughtful young woman must unlike the sarcastic mischievous Samantha. Kidman's accent slips numerously, and she just simply can't do comedy. We learned it last year with the half-assed 'Stepford Wives', and it's just resurfaced this summer. She's not funny, she's not interesting she's really boring to watch, actually. Will Ferrell's talent is severely wasted here. I can't remember the last Ferrell movie that I've watched and haven't laughed at, but this one's a first. It's not his fault, though, but the fault of director/writer Ephron, who sinks to awful gags that run from blurred genitalia to Ferrell singing. Don't expect anything funnier than the 'Like, Oh my god. Where. Is. My. Dog?' line. Shirley MacClaine and Steve Carell gives winning impersonations of Agnes Moorehead's and Paul Lynde's characters respectfully. When Carell does a pitch-perfect Lynde voice, I'm taken. Kristen Chenoweth's character is an example of how desperate the screenwriters are trying to get a laugh.
This movie has a special case of 'Halloween 3 Disease'. This disease, which occurs rarely, is noticeable when the remake or sequel has slim to zero resemblance of its original product - named after the out-of-place sequel to John Carpenter's film. Nora Ephron's biggest mistake here was making a movie out of the making of a TV show. Here we have watered down or completely different versions of the show's characters, which makes it hard for fans (a majority of the audiences) to really enjoy it. It pulls things out of place, and uses the show has a gimmick for one-liners and visual gags which is a travesty to the creators. Will Ferrell isn't Dick Sargent or Dick York, Nicole Kidman isn't Elizabeth Montgomery it's the show completely out of whack. Thankfully, they didn't go down the route of 'urbanizing' the characters, but it still doesn't get rid of the fact that it still relies on rotten stereotypes most of the time.
'Bewitched' is toil and trouble and all the other crap in witches' brew. It's a limp, unfunny hour-and-a-half joke that doesn't make it to the punchline. It cuts out its few good storylines and characters to concentrate on our protagonists, and saves only a little bit of the best for last. And as you can see, that's not a whole lot.
