BACKUP – That’s what you do when
you run across a skunk in the hills.
BAR CODE – Them thar’s the fight’n
rules down at the saloon.
BROWSER - How Jed's dog pronounces
his name.
BUG – Is what you caught, and that’s
why yore callin’ in sick (again).
CACHE – Place where you store the
output from yore still.
CHIP – Meadow muffins used in local
cow chip tossing contests.
CRASH – When you check in on the
slumber parties uninvited.
DIGITAL – Using your fingers and
toes for countin’ purposes.
DISKETTE – Scantily clad Disco
Dancer.
DOS - What we hitch to the wagon
to go into town for provisions.
FAX – What you use to chop down
big f’n trees.
FLOPPIES - What sis had after I
borrowed her double barreled sling-shot.
FORMAT - That thing outside the
front door for wipin' yore boots on.
HACKER – Cousin Zeke who smoked
like a stoker furnace for 40 year.
HARDCOPY – What’s left when all
the inside pages are gone from the catalog in the outhouse.
CPU - What junior sez when his
diapers didn't quite fit snug enough and the load was lost.
DOT MATRIX - She runs the rooms
above the saloon.
GATES - Where you put the animals
out to pasture.
INKJET - Happin's all the time
if you don't eat the right grub.
INTERNET – Where cafeteria workers
put their hair.
INTEL-PENTIUM - Isn't that what
the kids do in the phonebooth?
IP - Don't everybody!
KEYBOARD – Place where tractor
keys are stored by the back door.
LOCK-UP - Where the sheriff puts
you if you didn't stay ONLINE.
MAC – Any stranger snoopin’ aroun’
town.
MEGAHERTZ – What your head feels
like after a jug of white lightnin’.
MODEM – What we do when the weeds
get up to the roof.
MONITOR – Kind of lizard Auntie
Em resembles.
MOUSE PAD – Where Minnie and Mickey
live.
NETWORK – Seining the river fer
bait.
ONLINE – What to stay on when the
sheriff pulls you over after leavin’ the saloon.
PLUG - Piece of chawin' tobacci
that makes you spit.
ROM – What the cattle do in the
south forty.
SCREEN – Helps keep the skeeters
off the porch.
SERIAL PORT – A red wine you drink
with breakfast.
SUPERCONDUCTOR – Train fireman
that let’s you cob coal from the tender for home heatin’.
TAR - Used to hold feathers on.
TERMINAL – What you get just before
going to the funeral house.
UPS - The guy that brings the stuff
we ordered from the Sears Roebuck Catalog.
WINDOWS - What we peep through
at the widow Pott's house late at night.
ZIP - Something we try to instill
the younguns to do after using the outhouse.
Document Revision Date 2/27/98 Applicable To This Page Only