Music and gay parenting

Mondays are pretty routine for me and usually uneventful. After work, I join about 150 singers (and wannabe singers) and we spend about 2 hours singing wonderful (and not so wonderful) choral music. I’m a tenor, and, fortunately, my section is one of the best this year. Our choral director usually has two nervous breakdowns a month. His biggest challenge is getting a bunch of Southern women to lose their Southern drawl, at least temporarily. Articulation and vowel shape are important in Choral singing. I love when he says, “When you sing, I want you to pretend you’re a snooty European. Don’t sing like Dolly Parton. I repeat; don’t sing like Dolly.” It cracks me up every time.

Mathew St. Patrick & Michael C. Hall

After choir practice, I love to just relax at home, check my email (repeatedly), and watch a rerun of Six Feet Under on Bravo. I’ll just repeat what others have said about this show since the beginning. It’s phenomenal—great actors, great writing, and the list goes on. The show’s writer/creator Alan Ball has a dark sense of humor that is wonderful.

In recent episodes, Keith and David both decided they want children. They were debating whether to adopt (David’s idea) or hire a surrogate mother (Keith’s idea). This debate hits close to home because I’ve been thinking about the same thing. Honestly, I should first find a partner before I consider having kids. Let’s just say I’m looking for Mr. Right. Wish me luck. This issue raises too many questions to list here; so I’ll attempt to address a few.

Question #1: Are gay parents capable of providing adequate parental care? Well, according to one study, children of gay parents fare just as well as children of Breeders. A homosexual orientation doesn’t preclude the expression of nurturing behavior.

Question #2: Are gay men even capable of nurturing a child? It’s clear that most gay parents are lesbians. That makes sense for so many reasons. The number of gay men who are parents is probably much lower. My biggest concern is that men (gay or straight) just don’t have the neural circuitry that is needed to (properly) care for a child (or anyone for that matter). Seriously, where would we be without women? One could argue that gay men have feminized brains; sure, there is research to support that, but, in some ways, gay men are a lot like straight men. Let’s not kid ourselves boys; the average man (gay or straight) is more promiscuous than the average woman. I guess there’s no way to really answer this question. I think we should all just turn into birds. The vast majority of bird species are monogamous; well, some argue that they’re not truly monogamous, but I won’t bore you with the details.

Monogamous birds are so cute

So, I really do want to be father some day. I don’t know if I’m capable of providing the same type of parental care only a mother can provide. I know my brain is at least partially feminized—I watch Bravo and love Madonna, for crying out loud. I guess that’s a good start.