Workout #7: Walking on Egg Shells

Well, the season finale of Bravo’s Workout is just around the corner. Before that time comes, I’d like to scrutinize last week’s episode of this cool reality show. As mentioned in a previous post, Jackie Warner decided to take a few days off to visit her mom, Karen, in Fairborn Ohio, and she left Brian in charge of the gym. Her goal was to reconnect with her mother. She also decided to accept an invitation to visit her old high school. Her good friend Erin traveled with her and provided much needed emotional support.



Jackie compared her relationship with her mother to walking on egg shells. She also discussed how uncomfortable she felt being back home. She described how hard it was being a gay teenager in a small town. As soon as Jackie arrived at her mother’s house, the mood of the show changed dramatically. There were a few scenes that focused on Karen. Unlike some of the trainers, she didn’t appear to crave attention. She discussed her relationship with her daughter, and those moments of candor were quite refreshing. It felt more like an unscripted documentary—just great!



Jackie, Erin, and Karen had an interesting conversation on their way to Jackie’s old high school. Karen mentioned that she had lived in California for a while, and Jackie said that she would have preferred growing up in that area (in Santa Monica, specifically). Erin made a great point, but “you’d be completely different!” Jackie agreed, “what formed me was my absolute drive to get out of this region.”



Jackie talked to a large group of students about growing up in Fairborn; she said that life was about reinvention. Her biggest point was that life is filled with second chances—great opportunities to start over. After Jackie’s talk, students approached her and asked for her autograph. And Karen watched with amazement as students lined up for a chance to meet Jackie. She later told Jackie how proud she was to see her (grown) child receiving this kind of attention; Jackie hugged her. It was such a special moment. The healing process had begun.



Jackie’s next challenge was to come to terms with her father’s death. She described how difficult it was to have a father who was mentally ill. She also said that she essentially tried to pretend that he didn’t exist. She made a bold move and went to her father’s gravesite. Her mother was by her side.



At the cemetery, Jackie and Karen talked about Jackie’s father. “He was a casualty of the Vietnam War”, said Karen. She described the funeral. Jackie realized that she had a lot in common with her mother. Sadly, we often fail to realize how similar we are to our parents, so it was nice to watch her acknowledge that.

Karen also made some other interesting comments about homosexuality. Karen mentioned that stressful pregnancies could contribute to homosexuality (that hasn’t been proven, of course). “So it is your fault,” joked Jackie; she was pleased that her mother had actually given thought to the potential causes of homosexuality. Karen went on to describe Jackie’s father. “He was crazy about you,” she said. Jackie started to cry. She hugged her mother and one gets the sense that mother and daughter were reconnecting. Mission accomplished!



Jackie’s trip to Fairborn was very emotional. I’m sure most viewers would agree. A major theme of this particular episode was the importance of family. We often take our parents and siblings for granted, and it’s easy to criticize or avoid our loved ones if they disagree with us. However, it takes real strength to communicate with family members and try to find some common ground; compromise isn’t a bad thing. Jackie’s experience also raises the issue of growing up gay in small town America. It is difficult; there’s not question about that. But as Jackie herself acknowledged, it made her who she is today. Life isn’t always easy. For many gay men and women, there are different obstacles and challenges that seem to stand in the way of success and happiness. This world can be cruel. However, these experiences serve an important purpose: they make us stronger.