All About Ted Allen

My heart rate increases every time I hear the name Ted Allen. Ted, as most of you should know, is a member of the Fab 5. He was the food and wine connoisseur. Before joining the institution that is Bravo Reality Television, he was a contributing editor to Esquire magazine. He’s also a successful writer and food critic. This man can do it all.



I’m not going to lie; Ted is hands down my favorite of the 5 Fab. I actually like four of them and . . . tolerate the other one. Let me explain. Kyan Douglas is the hottie of the group, and you all know how I feel about attractive men. Come on. He’s the health and beauty expert. And that raises a few interesting questions. Why wasn’t he invited to participate in Shear Genius? Why did they have to import a queer from Denmark (i.e., Rene)? Seriously, Rene struggled to deliver his lines and some have suggested that he has a speech impediment. Now, I’m not complaining. Rene was fun to look at. However, I’m sure Kyan would have saved the production team a lot of time and money. Also, to be honest, Kyan is more my type than Rene, which is totally irrelevant because Bravo doesn’t create shows specifically for me. I was just sayin’. I also find it interesting that they never invited Jonathan Antin to be a guest anything on Shear Genius. That would have made me very happy.

Do I even need to tell you all that Carson Kressley was the best thing about Queer Eye? I think that’s a given. This man is comedic gold. The show would have been so boring without him. Thom Filicia was the interior design specialist. He seems like a nice guy, but he never really wowed me in any way. He was just there doing his thing, which is cool. I like him, just not as much as I like the other three. So, now we’re down to the last man—Jai Rodriguez. Apparently, he was the “culture vulture,” a cultural expert of sorts. Whatever. I’m sure he’s a very talented actor. However, I would have preferred a more cultured individual. Seriously, they couldn’t find someone a little more qualified? Is there a shortage of cultured gay men in New York City or other major U.S. cities? How about Copenhagen? Maybe they should have just asked Ted to wear two hats on the show—culinary expert and cultural know-it-all. I’m convinced that Ted can do anything. Now, to be fair, I’m sure some people love Jai, and the producers probably saw something special in him. Why else did they even consider him in the first place? I was just never crazy about him, and I've explained why. Sorry, I’m just being honest here.

Now, let’s get back to the task at hand: praising Ted Allen. Yes, this blog is officially in love with Ted. He’s just a great representative of the modern gay man in this country—cultured, sophisticated, intelligent, and so on. That’s not to say that he’s the best (and only) representative. The gay community is very diverse, and everyone has a purpose and contributes something, but I just adore Ted Allen.




Fortunately, Ted is one of the judges on Bravo’s hit reality show Top Chef Season 3. Ted will join Tom, Padma, and Gail. And that just makes me so happy. We’ll get to see Ted every Wednesday. Thank goodness for Bravo. Also, if you’re a fan of Top Chef and/or Ted Allen, I encourage you to visit three very cool blogs: Dishin’ Dat, Blogging Top Chef, and Top Chef 2: They Cook, We Dish. These blogs will provide you with recaps, commentary, and lots of bitchery. It’s wonderful.

I guess you could consider this my first Top Chef 3 post. Yes, I’ll be blogging about this great show at least once a week. I won’t be doing full recaps, just commentary on various aspects of the show. I may dedicate a few posts to the magnificent Ted Allen. Hey, someone had to replace Tabs and Sally. And Ted is that someone!