Never Judge A Book By Its Cover (Top Chef 3, Reunion Special)

Bravo’s Watch What Happens special aired a few hours ago. It was nothing spectacular; Andy Cohen interviewed past and present Top Chef contestants. But I enjoyed seeing some past cheftestants talk about their experiences.

Ok, now let’s get down to business. I’m sure other bloggers are going recap the entire thing; so I’m just going to focus on two aspects of the show: tolerance and the importance of not judging a book by its cover! Please let me explain.

In most societies, it’s not easy being a fabulous harlot. Women of ill repute are often shunned by others. In some cultures, even a straight-laced gal who falls from grace one time can end up wearing a scarlet letter for life. It’s not easy being a whore.

I feel for these women. I really do. Out there somewhere is a prostitute with a heart of gold. Or a stripper who dutifully performs for disabled veterans. Or a desperate housewife who pays for her young gardener’s college education. I refuse to judge these women.

Anyway, at one point during the show, Andy read a comment submitted by a Bravo viewer.

How the hell can you cook anything with that Padma parading around. Christ, I’d eat anything off of her; I’d drink her bath water.

First, I was shocked to learn that heterosexual men actually watch Bravo. Interesting. The suits at Bravo sure knew what they were doing when they hired her. Yeah, sex sells. Anyway, at first, I was concerned for our Padma. For a brief moment, it appeared that Padma’s sexuality was on trial. Here’s the evidence.











It’s undeniable; our beloved Padma is asking for trouble. However, just when I had given up hope, an angel appeared on the screen. No, he wasn’t an angel, he was more like a deity—a gay deity with impeccable taste. It was my personal hero Tim Gunn. He said of Padma,

I love Padma’s style! Padma is who she is, and if risqué is the way she wants to be, risqué is how she should be. Padma, keep it up.

Then, fellow judge Tom Colicchio added,

In Padma’s defense, she’s not cooking in that kitchen.

While all this was going on, former cheftestant Sandee was jumping up and down like a teenage boy at a Jessica Simpson concert. She must have heard the news that Padma was leaving her husband. Oh, one can only imagine the types of thoughts that were in her head at that very moment.



Sandee immediately offered the object of her affection the following words,

She’s a pleasure when she comes in the kitchen . . . she comes in and it brightens our day.

How touching. Of course, Padma was allowed to speak in her own defense. She said,

It doesn’t matter; all I have to do on the show is think, speak, and eat; and I’m dressed perfectly for those three tasks . . . people don’t know this, but Gail’s actually much more, uh . . .

I’m the real slut is what she’s trying to say.

Finally, the truth was revealed. So, it turns out that Padma may look like a slut, but she’s really just a misunderstood beauty. Seriously, if she wanted, she could dress that way in Bollywood and still play an innocent virgin who saves herself for the right man. But, instead, she’s a reality star here in the States. And I think she’s doing us a favor. You know, I’d pay to see her dancing in one of those Bollywood dance numbers. Yes, I’d love that. Anyway, now we all know who the real whore is; don’t we, Gail?

This reunion special taught me many valuable lessons. The most obvious lesson is to never judge a book by its cover. But, the most important lesson of all is that we should be tolerant of everyone. Even harlots need a little love.