Who Wants To Be Normal Anyway?

Inspired by GayProf, my original idea was to blog about Gay Pride and what it means to me. Well, I’ve decided to go a different direction for various reasons. First, I’m not really in a gay pride sort of mood. I live in North Florida, and there isn’t much of a gay community in the All-American city I currently call home, which means that there isn’t going to be a pride parade any time soon. There are, however, a few events at local bars and clubs, which is nice, but these events are nothing out of this world. Also, I’m not the most outgoing person on the planet; I’m actually quite reserved.

So, instead of writing about gay pride, I’d like to write about a topic that has always been on my mind since I accepted myself as a gay man: the idea of homosexuality as an abnormal condition. Before the 1970s, the American Psychiatric Association (APA) classified homosexuality as a mental disorder. Fortunately, in 1973, the APA changed its position on homosexuality, declaring that homosexuality was no longer to be considered deviant behavior.

Many scientists, writers, and activists contributed, both directly and indirectly, to this momentous event. Alfred Kinsey provided data showing the full spectrum of sexual behavior. Yep, homosexuality was alive and well in the 40s and 50s. His findings were very controversial at that moment in time, and I suspect many Americans would still be surprised today by what he reported. Psychologist Evelyn Hooker interviewed many gay men and suggested that homosexuality was not pathological. And there are many more examples.

The most compelling event, I think, took place at the APA annual meeting in Dallas, TX in 1972. A doctor by the name of John Fryer, wearing a face mask, addressed the APA membership. He discussed candidly the difficulties he faced as a gay doctor in a discipline that considered homosexuality to be a mental disorder. I’m sure many APA members were moved by Fryer’s story. And the rest, as they say, is history. As mentioned before, the APA modified its stance on homosexuality.



I had a heated discussion with a close gay friend about what this all means. My friend believes that homosexuality is a natural state and romantic love between members of the same sex is completely normal. Now, let me just say that I’ve always considered myself a very objective person. So, of course, I disagreed with him. I wasn’t sure what he meant by natural. If, by natural, he meant that homosexuality is a product of nervous system function, then I’d agree that homosexuality is natural. His use of the word normal also bothered me. Again, if normal refers to homosexuality as a product of nervous system function, then, again, I’d agree with him. However, when most people talk about homosexuality, they’re probably talking about the social aspects of behavior. And, from that perspective, homosexuality is clearly not normal behavior.

The idea that homosexuality is abnormal may sound quite unappealing, but, from a macro (societal) perspective, it’s kind of true. Heterosexuality is the norm; that’s just the way it is. Now, please know that I’m more than secure with my sexuality and identity as a homosexual. So, I’m not saying that homosexuality should be considered a mental disorder. Fortunately, the APA rejected that idea in the 70s. I’m just saying that being different (abnormal?) is a reality that most of us, gay or straight, have to live with on a daily basis. Even straight people struggle to conform to societal rules, real or imagined.

Being different is both a blessing and a curse. Rejection and contempt are always hard to deal with, but, for the most part, I feel very fortunate to be a gay man. My (abnormal) condition has allowed me to experience empathy for other human beings. My condition has enabled me to view the world from a very unique perspective that few will ever know. My condition has fueled my intellectual curiosity and passion for neuroscience and behavioral science research. And the list goes on.

Yes, I’m more than happy with being different—abnormal. I think I’ve benefited greatly from being gay. However, it should be noted that most of us, gay or straight, are different from the average person in many ways—race, ethnicity, religion, and so on. And these differences make me question the notion of normalcy. Anyway, this post focuses too much on the differences, but, of course, I have a lot in common with the average straight person, a fact that shouldn’t be neglected. Honestly, it's just hard being a human being. Period. I’ll save those comments for another post.