There’s More Than One Way To Be A Sissy.

The always wonderful GayProf wrote an interesting piece about the media’s obsession with the Larry Craig scandal and what that may tell us about how society views gays. It’s an excellent post. In that post, GayProf provided a link to another post by Kenneth Hill. I thought Kenneth made some excellent points. However, I didn’t buy it. Actually, it kind of irritated me. And here’s a passage from that post that essentially sums up the tone of the article,

Basically . . . people hate a sissy, aka anyone who acts too gay (read: too effeminate).

Please note that Kenneth discussed other issues and provided an overall compelling argument. But I found it devoid of true objectivity. In fact, this very statement and other comments made in the post seem to place gays into two categories—sissies and non-sissies. And, according to Kenneth, in order for gays to be free, we all need to accept our sissies. That’s a good point, but, again, I have major issue with this and other statements.

First of all, as most probably know but tend to forget, gay people are a very diverse group. The sissies that Kenneth speaks of probably represent a small minority of the gay population. Interestingly, this small sample seems to get a lot of attention. More about that a little later. My major beef with Kenneth’s piece is that he seems to ignore the fact that there’s more than one way to be a sissy, so to speak. Relative to many straight men, I’d be considered a big ol’ sissy. Now, that doesn’t mean I’m more effeminate than a fabulous drag queen. I’m actually considered straight-acting by most, but I will never deny that I have female-typical traits and interests. In fact, I celebrate those traits. I mean, have you read my blog? Check out the banner and some of the side bar pics.

I also don’t get what he means by too effeminate. I mean, I know what he’s talking about, but, again, I find that phrase a little off the mark. Gay men are first and foremost living, breathing mammals, and, in all sexually reproducing species, diversity is the rule rather than the exception. Sorry, I study animal behavior for a living; please bear with me. Anyway, my point is: Effeminate gay men are as diverse as any group of human beings or animals, for that matter. Whoever came up with this sissy/non-sissy dichotomy is just foolish and lazy.

Ok, I’ll admit that generalizing and keeping things simple can often be very effective and desirable, something John Kerry should know by now. However, I expect more from intelligent gay men. Why? Because these men are near and dear to my heart. And I have to say that I found it quite objectionable that Kenneth lumped Carson Kressley and Chris Crocker in the same category. Carson Kressley and youtube sensation Chris Crocker may seem identical on the surface, but when you really start to compares these two gay men, you will immediately see that they are as different as night and day. Chris seems to enjoy making vulgar comments, dancing provocatively, and doing other questionable things. Casron, on the other hand, has established himself as a respected television personality. His quippy comments and success as a fashionista have made him what he is today.

Finally, I’d like to comment about the homophobic statements directed at Chris Crocker. Of course, I think that’s deplorable. And it is a sad reminder that gay men who don’t conform to societal standards—gender norms and other rules—are often subjected to verbal and/or physical abuse. However, the behavior exhibited by Chris should not be considered gay-typical. Even straight women are subjected to hateful comments if they appear “too” sexual. In fact, Paris Hilton, a woman I can’t stand, is often bashed throughout the blogosphere. Yes, the media may often shower gay men like Chris Crocker with the wrong type of attention, and society can be harsh. There’s no question about that. But society also praises certain effeminate gay men (see Tim Gunn). What I’m trying to say is that being effeminate (or even too effeminate) isn’t the same thing as being histrionic (and effeminate). Again, there’s more than one way to be a sissy.