A Very Queer Post

Another day, another blog-a-thon. Wait! This isn’t your average blog-a-thon. Not at all. On Monday, November 19th, Queering The Apparatus will be hosting its very first Queer Film Blog-A-Thon. Finally! An opportunity for gay bloggers all across the blogosphere to express their love for queer cinema. The following is my contribution to this wonderful blog-a-thon.



I’ve always enjoyed great films. However, like most members of the LGBT community, I’ve often been disappointed with the dearth of gay characters and stories in mainstream Hollywood Films. Fortunately, there are directors, writers, actors, and producers who manage to create amazing cinematic treasurers for us (the gays), often with limited resources and support. Thank goodness for independent films and passionate artists.



In the film The Sum of Us, Russell Crowe plays a regular bloke who just happens to be gay. I debated whether to mention this film. To be honest, it is far from being perfect. However, I liked Russell’s character (Jeff) a lot. The great thing about this film is that is doesn’t conform to tired stereotypes. Jeff is straight acting, and he has a father who offers him unconditional love and support. And that’s a beautiful thing.



I realize that coming out stories are an important part of gay culture, but they’re becoming something of a cliché. And coming out films usually annoy the hell out of me, especially when they’re poorly made. The film Get Real is an exception. There are other great films that deal with the same subject matter, of course, but I connected with the film’s protagonist, Steven Carter; and I think Ben Silverstone did a great job of brining this character to life. The film is conventional in many ways, but Steven’s courage is quite remarkable. He wrote an inspiring essay that was published in the school newspaper. For a while, the author of the essay remained anonymous. But in the end, Steven addressed the entire student body, as well as his family, and acknowledged that he had written the essay. The pen, as they say, is mightier than the sword.



I enjoyed Brokeback Mountain. It certainly deserves to be praised. This film, by the wonderful director Ang Lee, brought a love affair between two men to the silver screen. Of course, other films have done that before, but Brokeback Mountain did what most gay films rarely every do—it managed to break into the mainstream. And it has secured a special place in American popular culture. I also think Annie Proulx, Larry McMurtry, Diana Ossana, and Ang Lee should be commended for making this film a reality. It’s always nice to have some straight people on our side.



Queer cinema doesn’t get better than John Cameron Mitchell’s Hedwig and the Angry Inch. This film is one of my favorite films (top 10 material). John plays a transgender performer who leads an extraordinary life. Everything about the film is wonderful. John does a great job of introducing the protagonist, Hedwig. Within the first 15 minutes, I fell in love with Hedwig. John is a gifted director. There’s no question about that. The music is wonderful and the film is just enchanting from start to finish. Of all films mentioned in this post, I think Hedwig and the Angry Inch is the most beautiful. It is also visually and intellectually provocative.




I love John Waters. This post wouldn’t be complete without a John Water’s film. And Pink Flamingos is my favorite film by this great director. I know some—or maybe most—people find it crass and unacceptable, but this film represents so much to me and other members of the LGBT community. Pink Flamingos is a film that refuses to conform to societal standards of decency. It laughs in the face of social conformity. Divine’s character, Babs Johnson, is confident and defiant. It’s hard for the average gay person to exhibit this degree of self-confidence in the real (straight) world, which is why Babs Johnson is a breath of fresh air. Of course, one shouldn’t celebrate the violence in the film, but the violence is part of what makes it work so well. It’s all about defiance! Interestingly, John Waters often says that he wants the audience to just relax and have a good time. Well, mission accomplished. His films are certainly very entertaining, but there’s so much more to Pink Flamingos than meets the eye.



Pink Flamingos was my favorite gay film for a very long time. That changed after I saw Gods and Monsters, a film about James Whale, a film director who made horror films in the 1930s. The accomplished stage actor Ian McKellen was brilliant as James. Lynn Redgrave also delivered a great performance, and Brendan Fraser was effective as Clayton Boone, the object of Whale’s interest in the film. Gods and Monsters explores the last few moments of James Whale’s life, before he committed suicide in 1957. James lived with depression, memory problems, and other conditions that lead him to take his own life. He was 67.

Gay cinema and culture seem obsessed with youth and beauty. This blog is no exception. I post pictures of hot actors and models from time to time. However, this film focuses on the inner struggles of an aging gay man. That, I think, makes the film stand out in the world of gay cinema. Older gay men are often portrayed as asexual figures in many films. In God and Monsters, James tries to seduce a young straight man. He shows us that sexuality and the need for companionship are strong motivators that exist in all human beings, young and old. But the main reason I adore this film is because of Ian McKellen. His performance is the heart and soul of this film. The people behind Gods and Monsters get extra points from me because they cast a real gay man to play a gay character on the big screen. What a novel concept!

Confessions Of A Bravo Whore (Chapter 2)

Dear friends, this season of Top Chef is finally over. I can't thank you all enough for reading my blog. I appreciate your interest. Actually, I suspect only a handful of you read my blog entries; most probably stopped by just to see pictures of Lucas Gil, Riyo Mori, Tara Connor, and other beautiful people. Whatever. I don't blame you. Thanks for stopping by.

Anyway, this post is all about love (i.e, kissing major ass). Let me explain. Before February (or was it March?) of this year, my blog was like a ghost town. Every once in a while, a stranger would stop by, leave a comment or two, and then rush off to other uncharted areas of the blogosophere. I was like the Yanomami of Brazil, confined to my little piece of territory on the outskirts of the known blog universe. Ah, those were the days. I was so young and naive.

Over the past few months, I became a somewhat successful Bravo blogger. And by somewhat successful I mean that I currently dwell at the bottom of the Bravo hierarchy, which is fine with me. And now, it's time to thank a group of wonderful people for their support and generosity. Laz of Lazarus West and Ms. Place of Dishin' Dat have been regulars here at Blog By Cosmo Marius. As soon as they started commenting on my blog, other bloggers followed. So . . . thanks, Laz and Ms. Place, for your support. I'd also like to thank Damselfly and Calady of Blogging Top Chef and Bravissimo for including me in their Monday Morning Mixer. Ladies, you are wonderful and kind. It was a pleasure being part of your little Top Chef family. Allison over at Reality on Bravo has always been very kind. So, thanks, Alison. Oh, and I almost had a heart attack when Miss Xaxa and Charlus added me to their blog roll on Amuse-Biatch. That was such a pleasant surprise. I can't thank them enough for their kindness. And, of course, I have to thank the following bloggers: Jinxy, CB, Eric 3000, GayProf, KillerVirgo, and Linda Merrill. All of you rock!

Yes, my friends, we've been through a lot together. We've had some good times (Shear Genius, Workout, and Flipping Out, to name a few), but we've also seen the negative side of Bravo reality television (e.g., the lack of female talent). That's life, I guess. We'll have to move on and hope that things will improve. Now that Top Chef is over, things are starting to change in Bravo Land. Bravo bloggers are getting ready for the return of the queen of all Bravo Reality Shows--Project Runway. Banners are being updated as I type this. Gay boys all across this nation are creating new blogs with hopes of being the next Tom and Lorenzo. And there's a great sense of excitement building up across the blogosphere. All is right in Bravo Land.

The Media Giveth, The Media Taketh Away

Ok, I don't even know where to begin. This whole Britney debacle has been buzzing around the blogosphere for the past few days. It's old news, but there have been some new developments that we should consider. Even the popular Bravo bloggers Tom and Lorenzo blogged about Britney's unfortunate performance. Are the boys right? Is Britney's VMA performance going to destroy her career in the music industry? Who knows. This is the same industry that profited from the William Hung phenomenon and managed to get people to buy Paris Hilton CDs. I don't question it. It just is. So, Britney probably won't enjoy the level of success she achieved as a teenage pop diva years ago, but she'll probably be around for a while.

To be honest, I never understood the whole Britney phenomenon. Back in the day, she was worshipped by millions of fans around the world. Sure, she was hot, but she lacked the one thing that defines a real musical artist--talent! Yep, I couldn't understand her success. How could a girl with little talent dominate the music industry and popular culture the way Britney did years ago. Well, I think her success was due at least in part to the attention she received from the media. They were obsessed with her, discussing almost every aspect of her life on and off the stage. The media created Britney Speras. Well, now the tables have turned. The media types that declared Britney the queen of pop music years ago have now turned against her. And they delight in showing clips and images of Britney behaving badly.

Of course, you can't blame the media for Britney's unfortunate mistakes, but one can argue that they are at least partially responsible for creating our media obsessed culture. They, quite frankly, created Britney Spears. They also created Jennifer Lopez and the Spice Girls. In fact, I think Britney should have faded into obscurity just like many artists have done for decades. That's just the nature of the business. But, no! Viacom, MTV, and various other media outlets keep pushing Britney Spears on their young consumers. I blame the media for all of this mess.

I enjoyed some of her songs back in the day, but I am not a fan. I consider her little more than a superficial product of the entertainment industry. Ok, I will admit that I kind of feel sorry for her, but I'm not going to shed a tear for Ms. Spears. She's a very wealthy woman; she'll survive.

Fortunately, Britney has never been alone. She will always have the support of some members of the gay community. For example, Boy Shakira, an amateur drag queen, performed Hit Me Baby One More Time on America's Got Talent. It's very clear that Boy Shakira loves Brit.



And recently, the youtube phenomenon Chris Crocker defended Britney with a passion that one rarely sees expressed by sane individuals. Here's what Chris had to say about his favorite pop diva,



God, I love unstable gay men. I didn't think anyone could possibly top Boy Shakira, America's favorite amateur drag queen. Well, Chris' little outburst is certainly giving Boy Shakira a run for his money. Oh, and Chris is now getting a lot of (negative) attention for his little youtube rant. Fortunately, my beloved Seth Green has a few words for all you Chris Crocker haters.



American culture never ceases to amaze (and scare) me.

Meme: Five Questions

I was tagged by one of my favorite bloggers. He’s prolific, generous, kind, intelligent, and the list goes on. Yep, I’m talking about everyone’s favorite amphibian, Sumurai Frog. The challenge was to answer 5 random questions, and here are my answers.

1. What is one place in your home country you'd like to visit but never have?
I’d love to visit Hawaii and learn more about the local culture.

2. What are your favorite smells?
I love the smell of pancakes, eggs, bacon, and other foods in the morning. There’s no better way to start the morning than by flooding one’s olfactory system with these wonderful odors. I also think the smell of a moderate amount of male sweat is attractive. Oh, some men just smell so good! I’m actually going write about this topic in the future.

3. What is a book that affected you deeply as a child?
I used to love the Hardy Boys. However, I’ve always enjoyed reading nonfiction books. I was particularly fascinated by European history and culture. I was a strange little boy.

4. Why will America never embrace soccer?
You know, I honestly have no idea. It’s just an American thing, I guess. We have a very distinct sports culture in this country that is undeniably American.

5. Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf?
Ok, let me just say that I love Elizabeth Taylor. She delivered an amazing performance as Martha in Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf. I really have to see this film again. I regret not seeing the Broadway production in 2004. I believe Kathleen Turner played Martha. She must have been sensational.

Anyway, thanks for thinking of me, Samurai Frog. :)

Meme Fun

So . . . my dearest readers, would you like to know a little bit more about me? Shall I tell you about my love/hate relationship with the Spice Girls? Or maybe I should describe the day I became fascinated with JLo. It's a wonderful story. Wait, did you just say, "Marius, we don't give a crap about your personal life. Please just post pictures of various Bravo reality stars. That's all you're really good for"?

Well, tough luck! You're going to learn more about me whether you like it or not. Yes, I was tagged by the fabulous Ms. Place. And here are my responses to the following questions.

Four jobs I have had or currently have in my life:
1. Office Clerk (I worked for a very nice attorney as an undergrad)
2. Grocery Store Cashier (My boss was such a jerk)
3. Restaurant Assistant Manager (I was mostly in charge of the wait staff)
4. Graduate Research Assistant/laboratory manager (I’m currently a graduate student, and I run a Neuroscience research lab for a senior Scientist at a major University)

Four countries I have been to:
1. Canada
2. Mexico
3. United Kingdom (Next year!)
4. Netherlands (Next year!)
Note: I’m just as bad as George W. Bush. I know; very sad.

Four places I’d rather be right now:
1. New York City
2. San Francisco
3. Paris
4. London

Four foods I like to eat:
1. Beef Stew (My grandmother makes the best beef stew)
2. Chicken Mole with Spanish Rice (there are different types of sauces; I prefer black mole)
3, Italian Food (A good friend of mine from Sicily makes a Bucatini pasta in broth dish that’s just so delicious. She refuses to share the recipe, it’s been in her family for generations)
4. New England Clam chowder

Four people that I would like to tag:
1. Adam
2. Allison
3. Jinxy
4. Frogboots

Hasta Luego, Mi Amor

I almost cried after this episode of Top Chef:Miami. Seriously, when Padma asked Camille to pack her knives and go, I almost lost it. I just wanted to hug the hell out of that girl. Why, why, why, I kept asking myself. Why didn't we see more of you? Why didn't you blow us away with some amazing dish? Why did you switch places with Hung? He abandoned the final group when Dale declared them “Team Pastry.” That was a smart move, Hung; you bastard!



At first, I wasn’t really concerned for Camille. Dale’s idea made sense. I mean, you can’t go wrong with dessert. Right? And Camille seemed very confident. Well, she had me fooled. In fact, I was convinced that the loser had to be either Tweedle Dee or Tweedle Dumb. Bravo fooled me yet again.



Although Camille’s elimination was a sad, sad moment for me, I can’t say I didn’t see it coming. She had received little air time in previous episodes. She never really prepared any amazing dishes. She was just . . . there—right smack in the middle, an invisible woman, really. We never really got a chance to know Camille. I still can't explain how I became a fan. She just seems like a real sweetheart, and that gets me every time.



She said very little at the judges table, and the little she did say was not very impressive. I think that was her major malfunction, to borrow a word from Anthony Bourdain . She could learn a thing or two from Howie. That guy can talk his way out of anything. Sometimes, a well thought out response at the judges table can save the day, something Howie knows all to well.



I wasn’t the only one affected by Camille’s elimination. Dale was visibly upset by the judges’ decision, and he acknowledged that he felt responsible for the whole mess. Well, Dale, it wasn’t really your fault. It was an unfortunate outcome, for sure, but we shouldn’t point any fingers. Camille chose to join your group; nobody forced her. Honestly, at this stage in the game, it’s important to know one’s strengths and weaknesses. Brian is a case in point. Of all the cheftestants, he’s made decisions that have highlighted his strengths. He’s a smart cookie, but he can’t fool Tom for much longer. I’m sure this was a great learning experience for Camille, and I wish her the best in NYC.



The last few minutes were quite touching. Even Joey, the big lug, shed a few tears as he hugged Camille.



And, as she went around the room hugging and saying goodbye to her fellow cheftestants, it was very clear that everyone was fond of her. It was a pleasure to see. Camille is so full of energy; she has a great personality; she’s friendly; and, in addition to all those great personal qualities, she looks great in a bikini.



So, I guess I’ll have to come to terms with the judges’ decision. In fact, I think they made the best decision under these circumstances.



You know, The HoInMo wrote an interesting post about Jamie Lee Curtis. Apparently, Ms. Curtis thinks that most people watch reality television for all the wrong reasons. Well, I have no evidence to refute her claims. However, I do believe that there are many television viewers (like me) who watch various reality shows and support their favorite contestants for all the right reasons. Miss Xaxa had her papi chulo, and I will always have the lovely Camille. I’d like to end this post on a positive note. Camille offered the following parting words to the remaining cheftestants,

I just want to say, you guys are so brilliantly talented. And I want you to rock hard!

Thanks, Camille. And I just want to say that you rock! Hasta luego, mi amor.

Europa Europa

When I first learned of Emma’s blog-a-thon, I immediately thought of Sir Ian McKellen’s performance in the wonderful film Gods and Monsters, my favorite “gay” film of all time. Actually, it’s one of my favorite films of all time. Period. Emma had challenged us to write about a life changing performance. But, the more I thought about it, the more it became clear to me that this particular performance (and film) did not change my life in a drastic way. Let me explain. I was in my early 20s when I saw this film for the first time. And I was moved by it; it was a great cinematic experience. However, at that age and still today, it took a collection of things—movies, songs, books, and so on—to change my life in any meaningful way. A single movie just doesn’t seem to do the trick anymore.



My life wasn’t always that way. In fact, I saw a film in the early 90s that changed my life in a major way. That film was Europa Europa. This and other films (e.g., anything by Almodovar) made me fall in love with foreign cinema, and that’s why I’ve decided to write about this particular film. Thus, the performance that changed my life—my viewing habits, to be exact—was Marco Hofschneider’s portrayal of Solomon Perel (Solly) in Europa Europa.



As mentioned before, I first saw Europa Europa in the early 90s; I loved it without question. I saw it again last year, and I still enjoyed it immensely. However, the film is not perfect; of course, the flaws that seem so salient now meant little to me a decade ago. Marco Hofschneider’s Solly was born into a typical Jewish family and lived in Germany during the late 1930s and early 1940s, a tumultuous time for Europe. Solly was an adolescent when his family was forced to flee Germany after his sister’s death at the hands of an anti-Semitic mob at the outset of World War II. His family relocated to Poland.



However, Solly's stay in Poland was short lived, as Hitler’s forces invaded Poland in 1939. Solly’s parents decided to stay behind but encouraged their two sons to run far, far away. After much hesitation, Solly and his brother obeyed. During a frantic attempt to board one of several ships that could take them to a safer area, the brothers inadvertently boarded different ships and were separated. They called out to each other, but, sadly, they would not see each other again for years.

Solly ended up in a Russian orphanage and joined a youth organization that promoted communist ideals. He even became fluent in Russian. I should point out that, after seeing this film as a kid, I thought I was a communist for several months. It was a phase. Anyway, Solly was taught to reject religion and the exploitation of the lower classes. At one point he gave the following speech to his peers,

The bourgeois keep the people in ignorance . . . encourage religious superstitions, and with the help of the popes, priests, and rabbis, they smother all revolutionary instinct . . . we call religion the opium of the masses

Then, after two years in Russia, Solly’s life was again turned upside down by the Germans. He was forced to flee the orphanage with his peers and instructors. As before, he was left behind by unfortunate circumstances. He was arrested by German soldiers, but, luckily, he managed to fool them into thinking he was a German boy forced to live in a Russian orphanage. He spoke German perfectly, and he easily befriended the German soldiers



He would spend years pretending to be a German adolescent. And he was eventually sent to Germany, where he was enrolled in one of Hitler’s Youth Schools, surrounded by people who hated all Jews. Things went from bad to worse. He was unable to make love to his girlfriend Leni (Julie Delpy), out of fear of being discovered. One look at his circumcised penis and that would be the end of poor Solly. At one point in the movie, Solly even tried tying his foreskin, to prevent it from slipping back. It was a very painful experience, but his attempt was not successful. Fortunately, he was eventually able to escape. He was reunited with his brother and they made their way to Israel.

This film motivated me to see other foreign films. In fact, at one point in the 90s, I foolishly told my friends that I would only see International films from that point forward. Almodovar! Bunuel! Fellini! And others, of course! Ah, I was very impressionable at that age.

Marco Hofschneider gave a solid performance that truly moved me. The film was based on the real life of Solomon Perel. Marco’s portrayal of Solly really affected me in a way that’s very difficult to articulate. Solly was forced to pretend to be something he wasn’t. He was forced to listen to lectures and read literature that praised the Nordic phenotype and belittled Jewish people and culture—his heritage.

Although I’ve never experienced anything like what the real life Solomon Perel had to endure, I connected with Hofschneider’s Solly. As a gay person, I spent many years pretending to be something I wasn’t. Even after I came to terms with my sexuality, I remained in the closet for many years. I was silent as the people around me made hateful comments about gays.

The great thing about Solomon’s story is that he survived; he somehow managed to overcome all that hardship and psychological stress. More importantly, his experience made him stronger. He was a fighter. I think I’m a lot like Solly. I grew up in a conservative community in Texas. But, just like Solly and many gay men and women around the world, I'm a fighter.

Happy International Weblogger’s Day

So, one of my coworkers is driving me nuts. She’s a nice person and I can tolerate her most of the time, but she’s one of the laziest individuals I’ve ever met. Seriously, this girl doesn’t know the meaning of the word motivation. It’s a miracle she shows up to work fully clothed. Yeah, I had a terrible day at work. As Jinxy would say, I need a drink!

Anyway, enough of that. It’s time to celebrate International Weblogger’s Day! Yay! Yes, I was tagged by a lovely gal named Allison who maintains an awesome blog called Reality on Bravo. Stop by her site and show some love. She deserves it. Seriously, you can always count on Allison to do the dirty work for you. She posts all kinds of stuff about Bravo (e.g., recaps, pictures, and news). She knows it all.

So, I’m supposed to list five reasons I love to blog, and they are as follows:

1. I’m addicted to Bravo reality television. Yes, it’s true. It’s both a blessing and a curse. I watch Bravo TV whenever possible. My all-time favorite Bravo reality TV episode is the Project Runway Season 1 finale. Seriously, I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve seen that sucker. Crazy! I just love sharing my thoughts about my favorite Bravo reality shows. And blogging lets me do just that.

2. I blog to keep in touch with family and friends. Actually, my mother, brothers, and some members of my extended family used to read my blog. Then, at some point, they just stopped. Ouch, that really hurts. Whatever. Apparently, they’ve got better things to do. Fortunately, I still have friends who read my blog. And, of course, I have to give credit to the person who inspired me to start blogging in the first place, and his name is Killervirgo. He’s a very good friend of mine—we met in Buffalo, NY and were college buddies back in the day (like 5 years ago?). Good times! Thanks for supporting my blog, Killervirgo. You rock! To my family, thanks for nothing. You’re so lucky I believe in unconditional love.

3. I blog because I’m a gay guy with something to say. Yeah, as a member of an often misunderstood minority group, I sometimes feel the need to share my thoughts and experiences with the world. And this blog has given me the opportunity to do that. I’ve also had the pleasure of reading other blogs that are maintained/written by gay men and women. It’s great to be in such good company.

4. I blog because it’s a great way to learn from others. Yeah, I love receiving feedback from other people. Everyone has their own unique perspective, and I try my very best to understand where people are coming from, so to speak. You’d be surprised; sometimes, one person’s comment can actually change my opinion about a topic. So, when people talk, I do listen. Well, that’s not entirely true; I usually ignore my annoying coworker, but I promise to listen to my readers and fellow bloggers.

5. I blog because it’s FUN! Yep, blogging about reality television and various aspects of pop culture is just plain fun! And that’s why I do this.

I apologize for posting this really late. Seriously, it’ll cease to be International Weblogger’s Day in less than an hour. Anyway, I’d like to thank Allison for thinking of me. So, now I have to tag five other bloggers. I know it’s too late to do this, but I’m going to do it anyway. I wish I could tag everyone one on my “It” list, but I can’t. So, I’d like to recognize the following blogs: And, You Are?, Dishin’ Dat, Damsel in Progress, Center of Gravitas, and Electronic Cerebrectomy. . . wait, I’d also like to recognize Jinxy, My New Plaid Pants, and Lazarus West (he was already tagged by Allison, but I have to recognize the great Laz). Anyway, I encourage all of my readers—all 5 or 6 of you—to visit these blogs. You can thank me later.

Link Fest: All Good Things Must Come To An End

The blogosphere is such a wonderful place. It’s a world full of ideas and various forms of self expression. Some blogs challenge you to think about important things like friendship, sacrifice, and intolerance. And some insanely prolific bloggers blog about . . . everything! One particular blogger, Samurai Frog, blogs about every topic imaginable—racism, television, and even the muppets. These are just four of my favorite blogs; for a complete list of my favorite blogs, check out “The IT List” section of the sidebar. Also check out the links listed under “Cinephiles;” you’ll find some great blogs there, too.

Anyway, as I was visiting my favorite blogs this afternoon, jumping from one post to another, I was shocked when I came across the most recent post on Cinemarati, a community of bloggers for film commentary. Apparently, Cinemarati will cease to exist in a few days, and that’s a shame. The one thing I’ll miss most about Cinemarati is that this group of bloggers managed to provide a forum for the female voice. While most film bloggers couldn’t care less about the sad state of women in Hollywood, Cinemarati would consistently bring up this and related issues. So, I’d like to thank this group of fine individuals (film critics, bloggers, journalists, and movie experts) for providing an alternative to the superficial offerings of the mainstream media. I guess all good things must come to an end. Well, it was fun while it lasted.