Finally!

I can't tell you how glad I am that Tiffani won the Top Chef Holiday Special challenge. Finally, a woman wins something on Top Chef. As you know, dear friends, I have been quite vocal about the lack of female talent on Bravo reality television. Tiffani's victory has temporarily placated my uneasiness with Bravo and society at large. I'll save my bitching for another post. Now, let's celebrate Tiffani. She rocked!

I Heart Kit And Steven

Episode three of Project Runway 4 was . . . um, interesting. Honestly, the designers weren’t given enough time to complete the challenge. And, as a result, most of the outfits were not great; many of them were horrible. Still, a few designers managed to express their point of view effectively, and some even demonstrated a level of versatility that’s quite impressive.

Now, I’d like to tell you about my growing love for Steven. Seriously, this wonderful man keeps getting better and better. He’s coming out of his shell, my friends. And that’s a very good thing. I love his dry sense of humor.



Of all the designs, I liked Steven’s the most. It wasn’t perfect, but it was well executed, and, with a little tweaking, it’s the type of design that I could see myself wearing. Yes, it's true. So . . . great job, Steven. Keep up the good work.



Now, let’s talk about Mexicans for a second. First up: Ricky! This man is getting on my last nerve. I said it before and I’ll say it again. His limbic (emotional) system is out of control. Seeing someone cry usually elicits a sympathetic response. Unfortunately for Ricky, seeing him cry actually makes me want to hurt him. He’s irritating other bloggers as well. Not good. Ah, but then there’s Elisa.



I assume she’s at least part Mexican because she’s from El Paso and her last name is Jimenez. But I may be wrong. Anyway, Elisa is a special kind of crazy. She’s just a fascinating character. Her bizarre behavior is a gift for bravo bloggers. Seriously, imagine this season without her. Interestingly, some have compared her to Lupe, a former PR designer from season 2. But I think these women are very different. Lupe’s craziness was highly unstable and very scary. Schizotaxia anyone? Elisa, on the other hand, is a free spirit who’s quite likable. Her craziness is cute, warm, and fuzzy. I’m digging Elisa. You know, it almost seems like she was raised by hippies or gypsies or crazy people. And now, she’s forced to interact with uptight fashion people who just don’t get her. Thank goodness she has a sense of humor.

Sweet P was a nervous wreck in this episode. Her design was very sloppy, but it was actually a little better than some of the other designs. I just can’t understand why she couldn’t pull herself together. She could have saved her outfit. She was headed in the right direction. Time, of course, was the main issue, but she just gave up when the going got tough. That’s not a good sign.



In the end, Carmen was sent home for not completing her outfit. Some suggested that Ricky should have been eliminated, but I guess that’s debatable. I think his design was so conventional (and ugly). It was just . . . horrible. He really lucked out.

Ok, now let’s talk about the wonderful Kit. I loved her very first design. It spoke volumes to me. The woman has a point of view. In this episode, she delivered another solid design. Many people liked it.



I wouldn’t say it’s perfect, but it was well executed. And, more importantly, she continues to show us that she does indeed have a point of view. I also think that she’s one of the most versatile designers. As other have suggested, she has what it takes to succeed. She’s my favorite designer thus far.



Ah, Kit, you and Steven have a special place in my heart. Please don’t screw up next week or I’ll be forced to replace you. You’ve been warned. Anyway, if you can’t enough of Project Runway, you should visit the always wonderful folks over at Blogging Project Runway and Pink Navy. Also stop by the Dishin’ Dat Blog. Ms. Place is witty, fun, and fabulous. Along the way, you have to visit Eric3K. His recaps are comedic gems. And don’t forget to visit Killer Virgo. His recaps are wonderful.

Victorya And Eric Shine; Christian . . . Not So Much

So, the guest judge in episode 2 of PR 4 turned out to be Sarah Jessica Parker.



I’m sorry, but I’m kind of over SJP. That doesn’t mean I don’t like her. I just can’t understand why the designers had such a strong emotional response when they saw the Sex and The City star. I’ve never had that kind of reaction to anyone. Actually, I’d probably respond that way if I saw Sarah Polley or Tom Ford. My heart rate would probably reach dangerously high levels. So . . . I guess I can imagine what it would be like to meet one's favorite celebrity. Oh, and how sweet was SJP on the show? With her status in Hollywood, she could be forgiven for being self-centered and bitchy, but she was the exact opposite—so gracious. And she’s a smart cookie, too.



Christian’s confidence is both fascinating and annoying. Is it the product of environment, genetics, or both? I have no idea, but this little diva needs a serious reality check. When he essentially ignored Tim Gunn’s criticism of his outfit (pictured below), I almost lost it. Christian responded by saying that it was perfect. What?



Tim is the voice of reason and experience on the show. Christian is a 21-year-old kid with the least experience and a serious attitude problem. Nina Garcia brought up a great point about the dress. She hated it and said it reminded her of 80s disco fashion. This design and his dress for the first challenge looked really dated and uninspired to me, which is odd when you consider his age. Of all the designers, one would think he’d be the most fashion forward. Nope! I’m not sure what his problem is. Is he stuck in the past? Does he lack vision? Or both? He needs to get with the program.

Ok, I’m getting concerned that I agreed with the judges’ decision this week (and last week, too). They loved Victorya’s dress (pictured below). It’s too early to tell, but I’m starting to think that Victorya doesn’t mind using her neocortex, that stuff that sits on our primitive (reptilian) brainstem.



I presume that being a designer is something of a balancing act. Of course, a designer wants to remain true to his or her vision but also has to know what pleases those powerful fashion types (older, well established designers, editors, and so on). Jeffrey Sebelia did that so well last season, and Victorya and Kevin made it work this time around. Some bloggers seem to think that their dress looked kind of dated. Well, I think it was quite effective. Again, I’m happy that they won this challenge.

There’s another brain system between the primitive brainstem and the neocortex. It’s called the limbic (emotional) system. And I think it’s safe to say that Ricky and Elisa are more than in touch with this particular system. Ricky cries in response to all types of things—good or bad. It’s starting to get annoying. However, he seems like a nice guy. So I’ll give him a break, for now. And Elisa is turning out to be quite a character. I have more to say about her later.



Ah, Marion, where did it all go wrong? His outfit (pictured above) was a disaster. It was poorly executed and he got what he deserved. I must say, it must be hard to keep a show like PR going after 3 seasons. The novelty effect has worn off, but the producers have managed to keep this thing alive. This episode didn’t blow me away, but it was entertaining. You have some craziness, a little drama, divas, and I’m sure there’s more to come. And by “more to come,” I mean Jillian. She has serious diva/bitch potential. I’m over Christian. That kid’s all bark and no bite.

Bravo, Project Runway, & Crazy Women

I had an interesting conversation with a friend this morning. What did we discuss? Global warming? Trouble in the Middle East? The current mortgage crisis? The answer to all these questions is . . . no. We were talking about Project Runway. My friend was, to borrow a phrase from Michael Kors, quite underwhelmed with the first episode of PR. He was so disappointed that he suggested not watching the show on a regular basis. His words elicited a reflexive response from me—I was ready to slap the crap out of him. But I didn’t. I don’t resort to physical aggression to solve problems or resolve disputes. I’m all about peace and love and all that good stuff. Anyway, my friend is not alone. A number of people in the blogosphere found this episode a tad boring.

I understand what they’re saying, but, honestly, I think some people had unreasonable expectations. Consider the following. I dare you to approach your friendly neighborhood drug addict. Ask him or her to describe the first time they tried their favorite drug of abuse (psychostimulants are quite popular with the kids). In many cases, they’ll describe feeling immense pleasure. However, after repeated drug use, it takes even higher doses of the drug to experience the same effects, and, in many cases, the person eventually stops experiencing pleasure all together. Ok, I’m not sure that’s a good analogy. Honestly, I just wanted to use the phrase “friendly neighborhood drug addict” in this post. My point is: we’re talking about the fourth season of Project Runway, for crying out loud. Did you expect to be blown away? We’ve seen a lot of it before. The divas, the drama queens, the assholes, the nut jobs, and the list goes on. And, as the years go by, some of the designs are starting to look awfully familiar. Aren't they? Again, the novelty effect has worn off. I thought the first episode of PR4 was entertaining and predictable. But that’s ok.

Sorry, I went off on a tangent there. Ok, let’s get back to the task at hand—obsessing about Bravo reality television. Anyway, I’ve already complained about the lack of female talent on other Bravo shows; so now I’d like to say something positive about Bravo. I’ve noticed a few interesting trends in Bravo land. For starters, they sometimes select contestants who don’t conform to certain stereotypes. Exhibit A: lesbian hairdressers! Seriously, before Shear Genius, I had never thought of combing the words lesbian and hairdresser in the same sentence. Bravo managed to find two lesbians for Shear Genius 1 (my beloved Tabs and Daisy). Also, what’s with over-achieving Vietnamese Americans? Cloe (Project Runway) and Hung (Top Chef), both Vietnamese Americans, won the top prize in their respective shows. Don’t get me wrong. I’m happy for them. I really am. But the chances of two Vietnamese Americans succeeding on Bravo aren’t that high. Why not Chinese Americans, Mexican Americans, or White women? It’s just interesting. That’s all I’m saying.




Well, Bravo has done it again. They’ve managed to find another stereotype to mess with. Instead of the tired stereotypical Hispanic woman, Bravo now offers us the crazy, rebellious Hispanic woman. At first I thought Lupe was an isolated case of craziness. Of course, a handful of unstable Latinas exist in this country, but Bravo found another one. Yep, I’m talking about Elisa Jimenez. Ok, she’s not exactly like Lupe. Elisa appears capable of formulating coherent sentences; I can’t say the same for Lupe. I like Elisa. She’s the crazy, artistic type. I can dig that. However, if she’s going to play that part for the next few weeks, she’ll need to produce some great designs.



Wow, this post is getting kind of long. I know; you’ve got other things to do. So . . . I’ll stop beating around the bush. This episode wasn’t horrible. It was predictable but still entertaining. As stated in the previous post, I love Rami. Did he deserve to win? Well, that’s debatable. I think he has great taste, but his design was kind of safe and not very original. Two dresses caught my eye. The one below was designed by Chris.



I agree with Ms. Place; his dress was fierce. The man certainly has talent. Also, I noticed that a handful of gay bloggers are going crazy over Chris. Why? He seems like a nice guy, but it’s too early to tell if he’s a character to love. I’ll give him a chance. Who knows; he may win me over. Christian is turning out to be a little bitch, which isn't always a bad thing. Although I didn't like his design, I admit that he is creative and confident, but I suspect he may have trouble competing against more experienced designers. He’s a kid compared to many of the other designers.




I also liked Kit’s dress (pictured above). She may be one to watch. Of course, it really is too early to pick favorites. Now, I’m off to Pink Navy. See you there!

Oh, Happy Day

Dear friends, I'm alive and well. Sort of. Things have been crazy at work, but I won't bore with the details today. I'll save that for another post. Anyway, like any self-respecting gay man, I'm watching Project Runway as I type this. I must say, the men this season are quite attractive.



Rami Kashou had me at hello. This Palestinian hunk has worked with the likes of Jessica Alba. And he won the first elimination challenge. Great job, Rami. I love you!



Jack Mackenroth is hot. Did you see his abs? However, my heart belongs to Rami. But there's no denying Jack is gorgeous. So, season 4 is off to a good start. We have some crazy characters, a few divas, and Tim Gunn! Oh, happy day!

A Trip Down Memory Lane With The Gals of Project Runway

Ah, Project Runway 4 is just around the corner, and Bravo bloggers all across the blogosphere are more excited than Anderson Cooper at a Scissor Sisters concert (sorry, I just had to use that line again). Anyway, now we’re stuck waiting—waiting for the queen of all Bravo shows to begin. Be patient, my dear friends. Let’s prepare for another great season of PR by taking a trip down memory lane to celebrate the great women of Project Runway.




Kara Saun will always have a special place in the heart of the truly devoted Bravo viewer. She may have lost to Jay McCarroll in season 1, but she earned the respect of many people in the fashion industry. Her talent and professionalism are, of course, undeniable. But Kara contributed greatly to Bravo reality television in so many ways. She set the stage for future generations of women and minorities in project runway. She’s a great role model.



Chloe Dao’s victory in PR 2 is a clear indication that the American dream is alive and well. Her family came to America from Vietnam with almost nothing. They started a new life in Houston, Texas and never looked back. Their success in this country is quite inspirational. I respect Chloe tremendously because of her amazing work ethic. She stands alone as the only female champion in Bravo reality television. How do you like them apples?



Laura Bennett is by far a Bravo blogger’s dream. She’s fabulous, friendly, and accessible. And she’s everywhere. She’s a regular over at Tom and Lorenzo’s blog, and she even appeared in an episode of Tim Gunn’s unfortunate reality show, Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style. This woman really knows how to market herself. While Jay spends his days bitching about his sad, sad life, Laura is busy raising her children but still finds time to do various things. I have to say, Laura is quite possibly the most efficient designer in the history of Project Runway. Even Tim Gunn was impressed with her progress during the weeks leading up to the finale. I can’t imagine what it would be like to prepare 12 pieces for fashion week with an expanded uterus pressing against one’s internal organs (particularly the bladder). Talk about pressure! Laura Bennett deserves a special award for performing so well under very stressful conditions.



Uli Herzner won me over the minute she smiled at the camera. Like Chloe before her, Uli came to America with a strong desire to succeed in the fashion industry. Well, her hard work paid off. Although she was unable to beat Jeffrey Sebelia in PR 3, she still created a great collection that deserves to be praised. However, the thing I love most about Uli is her humility and respect for others. She's living proof that good things happen to good people. And it doesn’t hurt that she’s as cute as a button. Rock on, Uli! Rock on!

Confessions Of A Bravo Whore (Chapter 2)

Dear friends, this season of Top Chef is finally over. I can't thank you all enough for reading my blog. I appreciate your interest. Actually, I suspect only a handful of you read my blog entries; most probably stopped by just to see pictures of Lucas Gil, Riyo Mori, Tara Connor, and other beautiful people. Whatever. I don't blame you. Thanks for stopping by.

Anyway, this post is all about love (i.e, kissing major ass). Let me explain. Before February (or was it March?) of this year, my blog was like a ghost town. Every once in a while, a stranger would stop by, leave a comment or two, and then rush off to other uncharted areas of the blogosophere. I was like the Yanomami of Brazil, confined to my little piece of territory on the outskirts of the known blog universe. Ah, those were the days. I was so young and naive.

Over the past few months, I became a somewhat successful Bravo blogger. And by somewhat successful I mean that I currently dwell at the bottom of the Bravo hierarchy, which is fine with me. And now, it's time to thank a group of wonderful people for their support and generosity. Laz of Lazarus West and Ms. Place of Dishin' Dat have been regulars here at Blog By Cosmo Marius. As soon as they started commenting on my blog, other bloggers followed. So . . . thanks, Laz and Ms. Place, for your support. I'd also like to thank Damselfly and Calady of Blogging Top Chef and Bravissimo for including me in their Monday Morning Mixer. Ladies, you are wonderful and kind. It was a pleasure being part of your little Top Chef family. Allison over at Reality on Bravo has always been very kind. So, thanks, Alison. Oh, and I almost had a heart attack when Miss Xaxa and Charlus added me to their blog roll on Amuse-Biatch. That was such a pleasant surprise. I can't thank them enough for their kindness. And, of course, I have to thank the following bloggers: Jinxy, CB, Eric 3000, GayProf, KillerVirgo, and Linda Merrill. All of you rock!

Yes, my friends, we've been through a lot together. We've had some good times (Shear Genius, Workout, and Flipping Out, to name a few), but we've also seen the negative side of Bravo reality television (e.g., the lack of female talent). That's life, I guess. We'll have to move on and hope that things will improve. Now that Top Chef is over, things are starting to change in Bravo Land. Bravo bloggers are getting ready for the return of the queen of all Bravo Reality Shows--Project Runway. Banners are being updated as I type this. Gay boys all across this nation are creating new blogs with hopes of being the next Tom and Lorenzo. And there's a great sense of excitement building up across the blogosphere. All is right in Bravo Land.

Let’s Talk About Hung, Women in Bravo Land, And Project Runway (Top Chef 3; Finale)

Well, it finally ended. For some, Top Chef 3 turned out to be a real bore; while others fell in love with this season’s well-behaved cast. I suspect Casey will win the fan favorite award. The lovely Texan has gained quite a following throughout the blogosphere. Now, let’s discuss the finale.



First, let me just say that I was very pleased with the finale. Bravo got it right. Rocco DiSpirito, Michelle Bernstein, and Todd English were recruited to serve as sous chefs, adding some excitement to the mix. Casey, Dale, and Hung were noticeably shocked and excited about the opportunity of working with these culinary experts. I don’t care what anyone says, I think Rocco is a cuttie.

The cheftestants were asked to create a three-course meal. The day before the actual serving, the cheftestants and their amazing sous chefs spent hours preparing for the big day. Ah, but things got interesting when Tom delivered some very bad news a few hours before show time—the chefs were asked to prepare a fourth dish. Hung didn’t seem affected by the news; he was there to win no matter what.



As the judges feasted and scrutinized each and every dish, I experienced déjà vu. Images of the Shear Genius finalists, Daisy, Ben, and Anthony, were dancing around in my mind. Like Daisy, Casey seemed unstoppable during the last few weeks of the show, but her luck ran out in the finale. What happened? Maybe soul is a finite commodity that one should use judiciously. Did Casey use it all up during the last few episodes, leading up to the finale? I have no idea. I think she just lost control of Howie and the situation. And she didn’t seem to work well under pressure. Dale once used the word miraculous to describe his team’s success during the second part of the Restaurant Wars challenge. And that word can be used to describe his impressive success on the show. He, like Ben before him, owed everything to lady luck. I acknowledge that Dale made some very impressive dishes, but his lack of consistency was, to borrow a phrase from Anthony Bourdain, his major malfunction.



When Padma called out Hung’s name, I was more than pleased. Yes, I thought to myself, Top Chef is all about the food. From the beginning, it was clear that Hung was Top Chef material. His victory just seemed fair. Of course, some Dale supporters weren’t too happy with the results, and they’d probably disagree with me. But, in all honesty, one of his dishes was a total disaster. I commend him for not holding anything back. On a positive note, he rediscovered his inner chef.



This season of Top Chef was far from perfect. With the exception of Howie and Dale, most of the cheftestants were not very entertaining. And, as we all know, that’s what drives most reality television programs. There are other issue that I won't go into here. Interestingly, Hung tried his very best to be perceived as the show’s asshole, but he failed miserably. Seriously, he was quite harmless, but he was fun to watch. I have to say that Gail and Ted were great on the show. Ted didn’t really contribute much during the finale, but I still love him. And I love Gail, too.



Ok, I know this will probably annoy the hell out of some people, but I just can’t stop thinking about the lack of female talent on this and other Bravo reality television competition shows. However, there is hope. And I’m talking about Project Runway, the greatest of all Bravo reality shows. PR’s Chloe is the only female Bravo reality show winner to date. And even though Kara and Uli didn’t win in their respective seasons, they both did a phenomenal job. So, I may bitch about the sad state of affairs for women in Bravo land, but I can’t overlook the success of female contestants on PR. And thank goodness for that. I’m really looking forward to the new season of PR.

Congratulations, Hung

Wow, the person I was rooting for actually won. That rarely happens (see Sasha Cohen). Anyway, congratulations, Hung. Your family must be so proud. And I have to say, Dale really did save the best for last. Unfortunately, Casey didn't deliver, but, as she herself pointed out, she prepared some great dishes throughout the competition and kicked ass in the last few episodes. It's a shame she couldn't deliver when it really mattered.

It's All About "Soul" (Top Chef 3; Episode 13)

Reactions to this episode of Top Chef 3 varied greatly. Some bloggers hated it, while others were ecstatic that their beloved Dale finally won his first elimination challenge and a spot in the final. More about that a little later. I found it quite funny that guest judge Eric Ripert brought up the importance of soul in this episode. In previous episodes, the chefs, particularly Dale, mentioned that Hung’s food lacked heart. I can’t help but think that the producers loved the idea and sent an email to Eric, asking him to use the word soul at least three times in this episode; and he complied. Yep, they’ve added some drama to the mix—the winner’s food has to have soul!

Now, let’s talk about everyone’s favorite swinger, Brian. At the judges’ table, when asked why they thought they should stay, Brian offered the lamest answer, the type of answer that reality television producers hate. He said,

I haven’t cooked my food, at all . . . this is our [sic] opportunity to show you what I would cook . . . I do believe my food is pretty entertaining

Actually, if his food is as entertaining and attractive as he is, then his elimination should be considered a big mistake. However, the judges didn’t buy it. Hell, I didn’t buy it. Seriously, he prepared mostly seafood dishes throughout the competition. And that’s totally his kind of food. I remember eating a rice crispy treat while watching the last few minutes of the episode, and as I chewed and enjoyed the delicious treat, I was running various scenarios in my mind. I was thinking about what it would mean to eliminate Brian, the only straight man left in the competition. Then, Padma blurted out Brian’s name without hesitation. I almost dropped my delicious treat on the floor. Why was she in such a hurry? Anyway, I like looking at Brian, but I’m not really disappointed that he was eliminated. However, this is the first time in Bravo’s history that a straight male chef will not compete in the final. I’m still not sure what to make of this realization.

It’s hard not to like Casey, the lovely gal from Texas. She made many mistakes in the beginning, but she is now one of the favorites. It could be argued that she is the one to beat. She had the following to say at the judges’ table,

I know that I’m a hard worker . . . I don’t skip a beat, and I’m a relatively young chef . . . I have so much more to show

Casey’s words were quite sober compared to Hung’s and Dale’s responses. However, unlike Brian, she wasn’t kidding when she said that she has more to show. Casey’s miraculous transformation almost seems scripted. It’s like a Cinderella story, and Casey plays the part so well. The great thing about Casey is her down-to-earth personality. She’s impressed the judges, but she always comes across as humble and surprised at her own success. Actually, I was quite surprised at her success, and I remained very suspicious of her transformation for several weeks. Now, it’s finally sinking in that Casey is a talented chef. She’s sure to win over most of the viewers, and I’m happy for her.

Of the remaining chefs, I never really took Dale seriously. Don’t get me wrong; it’s nice having him around. He has delivered some of the funniest lines this season, but he never impressed me as a chef. Well, despite what appeared to be some major obstacles, he managed to create a dish that won him the elimination challenge. Good for him. He also delivered the best response at the judges’ table. He said,

I entered this competition to find myself . . . I have been reborn. . . Now I’m a chef again

Bravo, Dale. Bravo! He is a producer’s dream reality competition contestant. I mean, come on; how do you top an unemployed gay guy who has been reborn on the set of reality television program? This is the stuff Bravo dreams are made of. Also, I love how he throws in sexual references at the judges’ table. So, it appears that I underestimated Dale. However, let’s not kid ourselves. Dale’s surprising win is due in large part to lady luck. He’s made some horrible mistakes in previous episodes, but he’s always been safe because others have sucked even more. I’m happy for Dale, but there’s no denying that he’s one lucky gay man.

Hung started off strong and has remained in the top for quite some time. Yes, he’s made some mistakes, but his talent has never been in question. He is by far my favorite chef. He had the following to say at the judges’ table,

I grew up in the kitchen . . . It’s all about soul and that’s what I talk about all day . . . I don’t see myself doing anything else in the whole world . . . it’s for the love of food

That’s interesting. I thought it was all about finesse and elegance. I guess he changed his tune after learning that the word of the day was soul. Anyway, Hung gave the producers exactly what they wanted: an easily exploitable personal story. He is an immigrant who has probably faced challenges that the other chefs could never imagine. And, now, he’s a finalist on Top Chef.

I think Dale is the weakest chef of the three remaining chefs. Casey screwed up a bit in this episode, but she was on a roll for three consecutive weeks. She has what it takes to win. Hung is the master of execution, and his dishes are usually hits—they look great and often taste just as great. However, he needs to wow the judges, they’ve already complained that his food lacks one vital ingredient—soul. Maybe he can borrow that ingredient from Casey.

Honestly, I have no idea what to expect. This season of Top Chef is just too unpredictable. Anything is possible. And I do mean anything. The one good thing about this group of chefs is their good behavior. Sure, Hung can get carried away at times, but he’s generally focused on the task at hand. Dale delivers funny lines, but that only adds color to an otherwise boring season. It’s interesting that last season we were stuck with two immature boys, Ilan and Marcel, in the final. Let’s not go there. Honestly, I’m happy for all three of the remaining chefs. This season may be less entertaining than previous seasons, but it really is all about the food. And that’s a very good thing.

Top Chef 3 - Preview Clip

The Hung and Casey Show (Top Chef 3; Episode 12)

Dear friends, for some strange reason, blogger was being a little bitch. I was unable to post anything for two days. It was horrible. Anyway, here's my TC recap.

I don’t know where to start. I could start by stating the obvious: this episode was a huge success. And thank goodness for that. Finally, the suits at Bravo got it right. Now, that doesn’t mean I’ve forgiven Bravo for taking a great idea and turning into crap (yes, I’m talking about Top Design). I’m starting to think that Bravo is just throwing reality shows at us left and right, hoping that a few will be hits. Well, Ms. Place and I have had enough. Seriously, the process seems so random. Shows about hair stylists and a psychotic house flipper turn out to be wonderful. Who knew? Oh, but then Bravo took Top Design and our beloved Tim Gunn into the realm of mediocrity. Are you even trying? Yes, you have loyal viewers, but we can only take so much.



In this episode of Top Chef, the cheftestants finally got to visit New York City, but the good times would soon be over. The quickfire challenge took place at Le Cirque. The chefs had to recreate one of the restaurant’s signature plates, a halibut dish. The owner, Sirio Maccioni, and Padma declared Hung the winner, but Sirio had other things in mind (i.e., Casey). Yes, Sirio is living proof that the elderly are not asexual beings. They want some lovin’ just like the younger members of society. Anyway, Padma and Sirio acknowledged that Casey had done an exceptional job.



The elimination challenge took place at another location—the French Culinary Institute. Seriously, when they announced that, I almost fell off my chair. I was so used to ghetto top chef. You know what I’m talking about, the lame guests (e.g.., Madonna’s brother) and boring locations. This time, Bravo relied on the best resource any foodie and restaurateur cannot do without—culinary experts and educators. The professors at the FCI have passed on their precious knowledge to generations of chefs. The participation of these fine folks lifted the show to a whole new level. Please, Bravo, we want more episodes like this. In fact, if you spend less time trying to manufacture drama and more time incorporating talented culinary experts, you may be able to save this struggling show.



For the elimination challenge, the chefs had to create a dish using three key ingredients—chicken, potatoes, and onions. Casey impressed the judges with her Coq a Vin. However, Tom pointed out that she mislabeled her dish, and he wasn’t very happy about that. Brian made a dish that didn’t look very appetizing, but it was a hit with the judges. They all agreed that it was very tasty. Ok, let’s get back to Casey. I almost gave up on the lovely Texan after several disappointing performances. Then, she turned things around by winning two elimination challenges in a row. Now, I love Casey, but I can’t explain how she could go from clueless to flawless in such a short period of time. My first hypothesis is that the producers injected poor Casey with a low does of some sort of anesthetic, causing her to act disoriented at times during the first half of the season. Alternatively, the producers could have asked Casey to deliver a sub-par performance early on and save the best for last. Seriously, her unbelievable comeback is too good to be true. I smell a rat.



Anyway, there’s no question that Hung stole the show. In fact, this felt a lot like one of the earliest elimination challenges, where Hung impressed Anthony Bourdain. I’m rooting for Hung; there’s no question he’s the chef to beat. However, I must point out that Hung’s confidence level is reaching dangerous levels. He’s like a hyper little rooster that fails to consider its own mortality. Yes, a rooster may be king of the hen house, but it can easily be slaughtered by a farmer who’s trying to make the perfect Coq a Vin.



Now, let’s talk about Dale and Sara. Both showed an inability to work well under pressure. Dale made it to the next round only because Sara was the bigger failure. It’s a shame Sara didn’t make it to the final. Her performance during the Second Helpings episode was unforgettable. I’m sure she’s moved on to bigger and better things.

Let's Talk About Alonzo Bodden

I love great comedians and can appreciate a well-executed comedic performance. However, like most people, there's a special place in my heart reserved for a few comedians. At present, my favorite comedians are Dave Attell, Bill Maher, Kathy Griffin, and Dave Chapelle. I'm so tempted to declare Bill Maher the funniest man on the planet, but my heart belongs to Dave Attell. His humor may not be for everyone, but the man writes amazing material, delivers great performances, and knows how to interact with his audience. He has it all.

There's room in my heart for new comedians. In fact, I'm actively trying to find a new group that represents my generation. We do have a voice in comedy, but I'm still searching. While looking for the next big thing, I occasionally come across various outstanding comedians. And this post is dedicated to one such individual. His name is Alonzo Bodden, winner of the 3rd season of Last Comic Standing. To be honest, I'm not a die-hard Alonzo fan. However, there's no question he has some great qualities. For starters, he commands respect for various reasons. He always looks good, but, more importantly, he's an intelligent and well-spoken man. If you're more into physical comedy, then Alonzo isn't the comedian for you. But, in a world of cliches and trite routines, his material is often sharp, creative, and hilarious. I have high hopes for Alonzo. I hope he continues to grow as a comedian.

Bravo And Their Sick Little Games (Top Chef 3; Episode 11)

So, they finally got rid of CJ. To be honest, I’m a little surprised he made it this far. I mean, let’s face it; he isn’t Top Chef material. However, he’s probably one of the nicest guys in the history of Bravo reality television. Yes, fans and bloggers all over the blogosphere are expressing their love for CJ. He will be missed.



I could make a comment about a certain part of his male reproductive apparatus, or lack thereof; but I won’t. I could devote an entire post to his distracting double chin, but I refuse to do that. I could chastise him for being a bitch to Brian at the judges’ table during the Restaurant Wars episode, but I shall hold my breath. No, I want to celebrate CJ, a man from California who literally towered over the competition. In a world of pompous foodies and culinary types, CJ maintained his All-American charm. And that, my friends, is why many viewers quite fancy the Jolly Green Giant.



This episode revealed another side of CJ, an X-rated side. Ok, ok, I’m totally exaggerating. Anyway, in this episode, we learned that CJ has a thing for ethnic beauties. When Padma nudged the sleeping giant, she was careful not to get too close. There’s no telling what a man of such size is capable of doing in a heightened state of sexual arousal. She probably feared for her life. CJ didn’t cool down after that sexually charged encounter. A few minutes later, when the chefs were given their tickets to some mysterious destination, CJ immediately thought of Japan. He must have been fantasizing about geishas and other lovely Japanese women. But, instead, the chefs were sent to Newark Liberty International Airport. Poor CJ; he must have been so disappointed.



Hung started off the show strong. He won the quickfire challenge by preparing steak, eggs, and a shake. He also made a very wise decision by going with Chilean sea bass for the elimination challenge. He didn’t win, but he certainly impressed the judges. I have to say, Hung is officially my favorite cheftestant. Of all the chefs, he’s the most versatile. He’s very knowledgeable and can prepare dishes that are safe beats, but he’s also not afraid to take risks. He is the man to beat.



However, the win went to Casey, the Texan who has more lives than a cat. I’m not going to lie, I like Casey. But there’s no denying she’s a real mess. There's no telling what she'll do this week. Seriously, if she gets eliminated, I won't be surprised. I can’t believe she’s managed to win two elimination challenges in a row. How did she do it? It appears that the women are saving the best for last, and that’s certainly something to celebrate. Sara didn’t do so well this time, but her performance a few weeks ago was phenomenal. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, she kicked some major ass.



This raises an interesting question. Why has it taken this long for us to discover that . . . surprise, surprise . . . the women can actually cook? I remember reading Andrea Strong’s blog. She mentioned that every chef is followed by a camera man. Everything they say and do is recorded. Bravo has hours and hours of footage, but most of it will probably never see the light of day. And this very fact annoys the hell out of me. The producers and editors try very hard to create a story line. Each show has to have a villain, an underdog, and various other characters. There’s a lot of information that is kept from the viewer. There are other bloggers who can see right through Bravo’s sick little games, but I’m the sucker who seems to fall for it every time. When will I ever learn?

Thank Goodness For Hung and His Smurf Village (Top Chef 3; Episode 10)

For your consideration, I present to you Hung’s Quickfire dish.

That’s some crazy shit.

Yes, Michael Schwartz, that was some crazy shit! I had a really hard time understanding this episode. I had predicted that Casey would crash and burn, but then she kicked me in the ass by winning the elimination challenge. However, I refuse to apologize. I praised Sara for her phenomenal performance the previous week, but I’m still not sold when it comes to Casey. She’s just all over the place. At times, she appears to have the culinary skills of a 5-year-old child; while at other times, she manages to impress the judges (and herself) by cooking up something surprisingly good. I can’t take it anymore.




I can see why some people get annoyed by Brian. But I enjoy watching this man light up the screen. Yes, I want to have sex with Brian. Sorry, I have the terrible habit of falling for straight guys; that really needs to stop. Anyway, let’s move on. Brian won the quickfire challenge by creating a successful dish using SPAM. Interestingly, Brian mentioned Tom Colicchio’s major complaint—that Brian never steps outside of his comfort zone. It’s going to take more than seafood to win Top Chef. And I’m glad he kind of acknowledged that.



I can’t quite explain Casey’s win, but, I have to admit that it put a big smile on my face. Finally, the women ended the night victorious. With the exception of CJ, the men seemed disoriented and uninspired. In previous episodes, my beloved Gail pointed out Howie’s time management problems. The guy does not work well under pressure. Sure, he’s a good chef, but cheffing is not for the faint of heart. Stress comes with the territory, a fact that most chefs should be aware of.



To his credit, Howie has made some successful dishes, but he’s also failed miserably on a number of occasions. He also seems to lack that creative drive that many great chefs possess in abundance. It’s kind of a shame to see him go because he gave us bloggers a lot of material to work with. For example, Howie had the following to say about fashion,

Do I look like I care about fashion? This is from Target. This is all I have.

Hung offered the following,

I love fashion! I like to wear, like, clothes that fit me, not clothes that look like a box.

Hm, I think I know what’s he’s trying to say. And he’s right. Some adult men in this country are still wearing baggy jeans and shirts that should only be worn by severely obese individuals. Oh, and I found it kind of funny that no one bothered to ask Dale what he thought about fashion. I mean, he’s the (out) gay man on the show; he should have something to say about fashion. Right?

Casey, of course, won the elimination challenge, but, as I mentioned before, it’s going to take a lot more to win me over. Now, I think it’s safe to say that many bloggers had issues with this episode. For starters, the judges seemed quite unreasonable. One can only do so much with a $350 budget. There are other complaints about various aspects of the show. I’ve complained about the lack of female talent; others think this season is boring compared to other seasons; and the list goes on.

I actually think these criticisms are not limited to Top Chef; they reflect a greater problem with Bravo reality television. For example, Bravo’s newest offering, Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style, got less than stellar reviews. And I can see why. To be honest, I enjoyed watching Tim Gunn do his thing; yes, I consider myself a fan. But the show failed to capture my full attention. It actually looked like a makeover show that one usually finds on some other cable networks like the TV Guide Channel or A& E. And I find that very problematic. We’re talking about Bravo, the home of Queer Eye and Project Runway!

On a positive note, this episode of Top Chef offered hope. And it presented itself in the form of a slightly crazed bisexual named Hung. During the quickfire challenge, Hung worked passionately to create a dish that defied explanation. At this stage in the game, it would seem wise to stick to what’s been done before. But Hung dared to think outside the box. And the other chefs rightfully applauded his bizarre display of self-expression. He has earned my support. Yes, I hope Hung makes it to the final.

So, I agree with most that this episode was a bit disappointing, and I think Bravo needs to start injecting some creativity and innovation into its reality television programs. Seriously, they could have done so much with Top Design but failed to deliver. You know, I was so close to giving up on Bravo, but Hung’s quickfire masterpiece made me reconsider my position. Thank goodness for Hung and his defiant Smurf Village.

Flipping Out Preview Clip (Episode 6)

Flipping Out Preview Clip (Episode 5)

Reality Star Life Cycle: From Birth To The Supernova (Top Chef 3; Episode 9)

After last week’s disaster, the producers had a huge hurdle to overcome. Whether or not they succeeded is subject to debate. Now, I enjoyed this episode for various reasons. For starters, the quickfire challenge was great—a real competition. And the restaurants looked much better and the service was also quite improved compared to what we saw last week.

This episode offered two extremes. We witnessed the highs of success and those almost miraculous moments when things just come together perfectly. But we also got to see abject failure. Sara M’s performance in this episode was phenomenal. Not only did she kick Casey’s slow ass, but she also kicked my ass and made me eat my words. I will never call her lazy again. She rocked!

Interestingly, this episode kind of made me think of the life cycle of a star, those magnificent entities that live in solar systems near and far. I know, the strangest things pop into my head as I watch these reality programs. Anyway, Sara M’s success represents the birth of a star—a reality star.



She came out of nowhere, diced onions like there was no tomorrow, and proved more than effective as the executive chef of Quatre. Her star shone brighter than any other. Tre, on the other hand, represents the other end of the spectrum. He started off strong; easily one of the most promising of all the chefs.



Yes, he was once a bright star, wowing the judges with his well executed and beautiful dishes. Everyone expected him to make it to the final. However, he was unable to pull his team together. His unfortunate fall from grace was kind of like a stellar event—an explosion or supernova, one of the final stages of a star’s life cycle.



This episode offered quite a few pleasant surprises. We got to see a very loquacious Steven, showing off his sommelier skills. I actually like Steven.



There were other familiar faces—Joey, Sara N., Camille, and Lia. Oh, I just have to commend Lia for looking so amazing. Well done!




I was particularly pleased to see the lovely Camille. I can’t explain it; I don’t know much about her, but she seems like the kind of person who’d be fun to hang out with. She’s my kind of girl.



I have no idea why they invited Christopher Ciccone to participate this season. I mean, there are certainly better qualified interior designers. I guess producers assumed the gays would love to see Madonna’s pompous brother. It’s becoming increasingly clear that Bravo is seriously courting gay viewers. Yeah, they want us!



Now, I’ve made it very clear that I like Dale. I think he did an excellent job at the front of the house, and he also contributed a successful dish. However, this man has the most insane mix of gay traits. Stereotypes can be a gay man’s best friend. For example, people often assume that gay men have impeccable taste. Of course, not all gay have good taste, and some gays should never be allowed to express their inner gayness. Dale, I’m afraid, is a case in point. His unfortunate fashion sense, terrible interior design skills, and penchant for scented candles could have been his undoing in the previous episode. Fortunately, Bravo gave him and the other cheftestants another chance. Well, Dale did something that I found quite bizarre. As Ted pointed out, he was not dressed appropriately for the challenge. I can’t understand how any gay man could turn down an opportunity to dress to the nines. Brian looked more presentable. It’s a sad day when one is out-gayed by a straight man with subsyndromal Adult ADD. Hold on a minute; is Brian straight?



I’ve complained about the lack of female talent this season. Fortunately, Sara M stepped up to the plate and hit a home run. Casey is another story. She was the reason her team lost the quickfire challenge. Watching her dice onions was unnerving. How can one be a chef with such poor knife skills? I guess it’s possible, but I’m sure that kind of Chef is not Top Chef material. I’m so close to giving up on Casey. Actually, she should be eliminated soon. She really doesn’t deserve to make it to the final. I love ya, Casey, but I’m just being objective here.

CJ and Brian did almost nothing. They essentially left Tre alone. CJ’s dish failed, and Brian didn’t prepare anything. And his customer service skills were far from exceptional. I was a bit surprised that they eliminated Tre. However, his inability to lead his team to victory was a major downfall. How can you be a Top Chef and have poor leadership skills. Also, at this point of the competition, he should have known better than to send out food that was less than perfect. And it’s a shame that none of the other chefs bothered to scrutinize any of the food before it left the kitchen. They all failed their executive chef and themselves. It's sad that Tre was eliminated, but the show must go on.

Flipping Out Montage

I put together a fun little clip for fans of Bravo's new reality show Flipping Out. The name of the song is My House by Tom Novy. Enjoy!

Jeff Lewis Interview

I found this little gem on youtube. Enjoy!

Not a War; Not Even A Battle (Top Chef 3, Episode 8)

This episode of Top Chef: Miami offered the much anticipated Restaurant Wars. This tradition makes sense on paper. However, it’s not easy to execute. Some chefs get to cook, while others have to work in the front end. This division of labor makes it difficult to evaluate each chef’s performance. How does one compare Howie’s risotto to Brian’s front of the house performance? Both were bad, but we’re talking about different types of bad. If you ask me, I don’t think it’s very fair. The show is called Top Chef, and eliminating a chef for having poor interior design skills makes no sense to me.

I was pleased that CJ won the quickfire challenge, which earned him an important advantage. He seems to be coming out of his shell, so to speak. Anyway, the chefs were divided into two teams of four. CJ’s advantage was getting to pick his team. He chose Tre, Casey, and Brian. They called their temporary place Restaurant April. The remaining chefs—Howie, Sara, Hung, and Dale—called their restaurant The Garage. I find it strange that none of the chefs expressed concern about such an ill conceived name.

Team Garage seemed to have the most problems—scented candles, a tacky environment, and two poorly executed and heavy dishes. Dale claimed to have the most front end experience, and it showed. I think he did an excellent job. He’s quite a character. He said the following of working as a server in the front of the house,

You’re half prostitute, half performer . . . in the front I’m smooth; in the back, I’m a raging bitch

Dale is now officially my favorite chef. Yes, I love gay men! You know, I found it interesting that he and Hung were out done by Brian and Casey. Come on; what’s the world coming to? Aren’t gay and bisexual men supposed to have better taste? It was so disappointing.



The judges weren’t too impressed with either team, although it appeared that Team April was ahead. Even Ted mentioned that he preferred them over Team Garage.



I also have to acknowledge that I’ve been too hard on Sara M. In this episode, I think she redeemed herself in my eyes. She volunteered to be the executive chef, a very risky move. And, at the judges’ table, she openly accepted full responsibility as head of the kitchen. I was impressed and so were the judges.



In the end, Dale and Brian were both in the hot seat for crimes against good taste and service. Dale committed a major sin by placing scented candles all over the restaurant. Shouldn’t most chefs know better?



I really thought the judges were going to send Brian home. He really lost it this time, and a good chef has to know how to handle pressure. You can’t just give up like Sara did in the previous challenge, but you can’t run around like a chicken with its head cut off either. I’ve made it clear that I like Brian. Actually, I like looking at him. So, I was ready to see him go.

Well, no one was eliminated; the judges decided to give both teams another chance. Some bloggers liked the idea; others . . . not so much. I hope the producers, chefs, and judges take this opportunity to iron out all the kinks. But I doubt they will.

Ah, I have to talk about the guest blogger. I loved the idea. I wish Bravo would do it more often. Click here to read guest blogger Andrea Strong’s description of this episode. She offers an outside perspective of the show. The one thing I didn’t like about this whole thing was that Andrea had to sign a confidentiality agreement. She wasn’t allowed to discuss Top Chef on her blog. Yeah, that kind of sucks. Ok, I get it. Bravo needs to ensure that no one leaks vital information about each episode before air time; but couldn’t they come up with a clever way to include bloggers in the process without the gag order?

Bravo is well aware that bloggers have added so much to their various shows. What would Project Runway be without Tom and Lorenzo? How could we enjoy Top Chef without Amuse-Biatch, Blogging Top Chef, Top Chef 2: They Cook, We Dish, Dishin' Dat, Eric Three Thousand, and Reality on Bravo? Maybe next season the producers will invite some of these wonderful Bravo bloggers to participate. How awesome would that be?

Flipping Out, Episode 4 Preview Clip

For more clips and information about the show, visit Bravotv.com.

I'm Still Hooked On Flipping Out

I’m convinced that Bravo has me under some sort of spell. That’s the only thing that could possibly explain why I’m still loving Flipping Out so much. Episode 3 (Betting Men) did not disappoint. It’s tempting to compare this show to Work Out, another Bravo reality show. They are similar in some ways but quite different in others.

Anyway, the best thing about Flipping Out is that the producers seem to be shifting the emphasis from personal drama to the actual process of house flipping. In this episode, the work environment took center stage, while all the drama occurred in the periphery. It’s also interesting that the source of the drama seems to change from episode to episode. We’ve seen the perils of kitty acupuncture; the stress employees have to endure working with Jeff; the volatile relationship between Jeff and Ryan; and the list will probably get longer.



Jeff Lewis has been called crazy by some, and some people just can’t stand the guy. I can see where they’re coming from, but I happen to think the world of Mr. Lewis. Of course, I acknowledge that he can be a bit psycho at times—there’s his OCD, unreasonable demands, and unusual social skills.



In this episode, Jeff enlisted the help of another psychic, Fiona. I don’t believe in such things, but I know that some people do. And Jeff depends on psychics whenever he makes important decisions. Again, I don’t understand it, but that’s his thing.






I’m starting to like Jenni a lot. It’s great seeing her interact with Jeff. He actually lashed out at her for moving an appointment to a time that was more convenient for Ryan. Clearly, she’s a considerate person. Jeff, on the other hand, is a control freak and also a tad manipulative. In my book, that’s a huge character flaw, but there’s no denying he usually gets his way no matter what. And that’s important in his line of work.



As mentioned before, Jeff and Ryan Brown were an item years ago. I sometimes sense a degree of uneasiness between them, but they seem to tolerate each other. And I'm sure they care for each other. But there's no question that their relationship is quite complex. Ok, I have to say, Ryan is such a hottie; I like him so much that I’m willing to overlook the fact that he misspelled lose. Anyway, both Jeff and Ryan obviously enjoy what they do, but Jeff is far more ambitious. Ryan seems content with having a permanent home and focusing on a few projects at time. Jeff never seems satisfied; he has way too many projects and the thought of settling down in one place seems like a waste of money to him.

In this episode, Jeff was running out of money. He wanted Ryan to sell his home, which would free up some additional money. Ryan didn’t like the idea, but Jeff made a very attractive offer. The first person to sell their current residence would get to move into their best property, a multi-million dollar home they called Nottingham. Ryan loved the idea, and the bet was on. Well, Ryan won. Things are getting interesting. I'm really looking forward to the next episode.

More About Flipping Out

So, yes, this is another post dedicated to my favorite new show Flipping Out. Can you blame me for loving this show? Attractive gay men! Million dollar houses! And interesting employees! I'm hooked! To get a feel for the show, check out this little clip. I'll try to post a preview of tonight's episode soon.

Click here to learn more about Bravo's new show Flipping Out

It’s A Man’s World After All (Top Chef 3, Episode 7)

This episode of Top Chef: Miami had the strangest effect on me. It forced me to reconsider an issue I had long forgotten—an issue I had placed under lock and key somewhere in my over-crowded brain. I’ll get to that a little later.

There was reason to celebrate this week. Yep, Dale won the quickfire challenge, and that made me one very happy gay man. In other news, Dale dumped Casey for Sara N. Honestly, I think switching hags like that isn’t a good idea. But that’s just me. Actually, Dale really lucked out this week. He didn’t even have to participate in the elimination challenge. His reaction to that was wonderful.



Wait, it got better; in addition to getting the night off, he had dinner with Govind Armstrong. Yeah, that was a pretty sweet deal. I’m sure the other cheftestants weren’t too happy about that.



Now, let’s discuss the bad stuff. The cheftestants were told to get ready to party because Bravo was going to foot the bill for a night on the town. Those silly fools believed it, and their hopes soared higher than Hung’s ego. Oh, reality can be such a bitch. The cheftestants were all dressed up when Padma and Govind broke the news that they were not going to some awesome Miami club. Instead, the cheftestants were going to cook some food for party-goers as part of their elimination challenge. The women were pissed. The guys weren’t happy, but they eventually got over it. In fact, Brian was having a blast the whole time. And Tre was a little too eager to show off his big guns.



The women never quite got over the deception. Well, I should point out that Sara M seemed perfectly fine with the whole situation. She said,

I don’t give a shit

You know, Sara M drives me nuts, and not in a good way. She’s on my and Tom’s shit list. She just seems like a really lazy person. I was not surprised that she had no issues, as a woman, with this challenge. It’s actually kind of scary. She reminds me of a terrible mother with six kids who lets themplay on the streets at 2 AM. Why? Well, because these mothers don’t give a shit. I have one question for Sara M; do you give a shit about winning the title of Top Chef? Actually, she has prepared some surprisingly good dishes in the past; she may be one to watch. But she still drives me crazy.

At the judges table, the judges seemed baffled by the women’s reaction. And that kind of irritated me. Tom was shocked when Casey and Sara voiced their concerns. Even my beloved Ted Allen was a little surprised by the women’s poor performance. He asked,

. . . you can’t cook because you don’t like your outfit?

He totally missed the point, I think. Fortunately, Ted took back his comments, and he offered a different interpretation of the whole situation. He even acknowledged that he and the producers were a little insensitive. Click here to read his blog entry.

However, I cannot blame Sara N’s elimination on the producers' and judges' insensitivity. Padma made a very good point when she said,

If you’re gearing up to do one thing, and you . . . (end up doing something else????) . . . I can appreciate that . . . you should be able to bounce back.

Yeah, I couldn’t understand what she said before the “I can appreciate” part. Anyway, Padma was absolutely right. Life isn’t always easy and predictable. You have to be able to adapt to different situations and working conditions. You may have clients that you’re not used to serving, or you may have a demanding boss who expects damn near perfection. And, if you want to keep your job, you’ve got to deliver.

So, I think the judges made the right decision. In fact, Sara N gave them every reason to send her home. My biggest problem with this episode was the clear lack of consideration for the female point of view. Ted described this in his blog entry, and I would just like to add a little more to that.

It’s kind of sad that in this day and age women (and gays, too) have to adjust to various work environments that are dominated by heterosexual males. In this episode, everyone seemed surprised that two of the women were very uncomfortable. Even other bloggers questioned Casey’s and Sara N’s behavior. To some people, it may seem strange that two women made such a big deal about this. However, one must consider how women are viewed in our culture. Women have to juggle multiple roles. They are sexual beings, of course, and it’s normal for a woman to want to look sexually attractive. But these same women have to be very careful when picking out an outfit for work or some other more conservative function. Sure, they want to dress to impress, but they also want to be taken seriously. It’s interesting that in our culture no one seems to care whether a man behaves a certain way in or out of the work place. In fact, our culture often celebrates male promiscuity and aggressive behavior. It’s a dog eat dog world, they say. It’s all justified. Well, that’s a complicated issue that I won’t go into here.

Again, I think it’s important to be able to perform effectively under any kind of pressure. Most dedicated and successful people can weather almost any storm. And there are many women who have accomplished so much in the face of adversity. I just think we should do more to support women in the work place. I once heard a supervisor complain that his employee’s pregnancy was a big inconvenience for the company. That really upset me. It pains me to say it, but there’s no question we live in a man’s world. It's kind of depressing. I think I'll keep this little bit of reality under lock and key in the most inaccessible part of my brain.

Domesticated Animals And The Gay Men Who Love Them

I’m sure many of you have pets. I don’t. In fact, I’m not really an animal person. I’m certainly capable of caring for and nurturing a domesticated animal. But, for now, I prefer to invest my time and money on one mammal—me!

I think that makes me something of an oddity among my fellow gay men and lesbians. Of course, I shouldn’t generalize, but it’s very tempting to say that gays and animals go hand in hand. Interestingly, two Bravo reality shows seem to be reinforcing this stereotype.



In the new reality show Welcome to the Parker, interior designer Jonathan Adler was shocked to learn that management was planning to ban all animals from the five-star resort. He didn’t take the news lightly and did what any dog-loving gay man would have done. He challenged Thomas, the general manager, to a game of ping pong. The winner got to decide the fate of all animals at The Parker. Adler won and the dogs got to stay! You know, I never thought I’d say this, but I found Adler somewhat attractive in this episode. He annoyed me in Top Design, but in The Parker, he’s way more likable. Interesting. Anyway, yeah, the dogs got to stay. Happy endings are always nice.

Flipping Out, my newest obsession, is about a gay real estate speculator, Jeff Lewis, who treats his pets better than his employees.



In this episode, he had Stephen, one of his assistants, take his cat Monkey to the vet for acupuncture treatment. Now, I may not be an animal person, but I have enough sense to know that animals don’t usually like to get stabbed with sharp objects.



I couldn’t stop smiling throughout the whole acupuncture scene. The cat was pissed and ended up biting poor Stephen. Not even the vet was able to calm Monkey down. After the ordeal was over, Stephen called Jeff who seemed unmoved by the story. Stephen’s reaction to Jeff’s indifference was priceless. He started crying. Ok, I don’t usually like to see people crying, but this was comedic gold for me. I swear; the producers made this show with me in mind.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, this show is surprisingly good. As most of you probably know, I love the reality show Workout. Jackie Warner is the real deal. However, the one thing I don’t like about the show is how misleading it can be. I don’t recall ever hearing anyone mention the fact that most of the trainers were actors or even former reality show contestants. Of course, that will never stop me from loving the show.

Flipping Out is quite different. It was made clear at the outset that most of the assistants and employees were struggling actors or performers. In fact, a lot of the tension and comedy on the show is caused by the employees trying to juggle both aspects of their lives. They have auditions to attend, but they can’t afford to neglect their obligations at work. Now, I acknowledge that a lot of the scenes are staged, but that’s true of most reality shows.

I should also point out that there are a number of people who don’t seem to like Flipping Out. And, you know what, I can totally understand that. Not everyone is going to like Jeff Lewis, a man who I find very fascinating. Not everyone wants to learn the ins and outs of house flipping. I, on the other hand, find this topic quite interesting. There are a number of reasons to love or loathe this new Bravo reality show, but I like this show for one simple reason: it’s essentially a show about a successful gay man.

This episode ended perfectly. Jeff’s crew celebrated Zoila’s birthday. All his friends (and animals) were there. They had cake; hit a piñata; and just had a wonderful time. This show is really off to a good start. Well done, Bravo!

I Heart Ryan

I have a lot to say about Flipping Out, a new Bravo reality show that's quite entertaining. I'll write about that later. For now, please enjoy these pictures of Ryan, Jeff's business partner and ex-boyfriend. God, I love gay men. Enjoy!

Who's That (Bravo) Girl?

Ok, I came across a clip of Julie Brown and I just had to post it. Remember her? She had her own show on MTV in the 80s; it was called Just Say Julie. The woman was hilarious; she's a great comedic talent. Sadly, Julie never achieved the type of success she truly deserved. Anyway, below is a clip of Julie's parody of the infamous film/documentary Truth or Dare. Julie played Medusa, a Madonna-like singer who describes herself as being a slut with fame and lots of money. I saw this on MTV ages ago. So, as I watched it again a few minutes ago, I was surprised to see a very familiar face. Well, a younger version of a familiar face. Check out the clip.





Yep, it's our favorite comedienne.

New York For Brains: The Final Stand (Top Chef 3, Episode 6)

I’ve often compared Bravo to an academic institution. Remember when I declared Sally Hershberger the Dean of her very own School—the Hershberger School of Coolness? Why would I say such a thing, you may ask. Well, because she’s one of the coolest judges in the history of Bravo reality television. Period. What! You don’t remember? Whatever; let’s move on.

Anyway, Top Chef:Miami is one of Bravo’s most successful reality programs. And I’m still trying to figure out each participant’s place within Bravo University. We all know that Tom Colicchio belongs in Hershberger’s School of Coolness. That’s an easy one. Most of the other participants—guests and cheftestants—are also quite easy to place. However, there are two men who can’t seem to fit in. So, dear readers, join me as I try to find a home for Joey and Howie within Bravo University. For your consideration, here’s what Howie had to say about this week’s quickfire challenge.

I really like that type of a challenge. I’m a little bit more of an academic in a lot of ways. I’m a thinker. I mean, I AM a thinker.

Oh, Howie. Let’s not rush into things. I would hardly use the words academic or intellectual to describe this challenge. Come on, even a dog or Hung’s monkey can learn to distinguish between different foods. And I would never call a dog an academic. Whether or not Hung’s monkey should be awarded an advanced degree is subject to debate. Primates of any kind are quite remarkable. Some are probably smarter than you.

Ok, I admit that Howie has a way with words at the judges’ table. And it helps that he's read a few Anthony Bourdain books. But it takes more than that to be considered an academic. Now, let’s hear what Joey had to say.

You have to know your clientele . . . understand what type of food they like . . . they’re not looking for something out the box.

Ah, Joey. I have no idea what you're talking about, but I love the fact that you don’t pretend to be something you’re not. You’re a stubborn Italian guy from New York who seems to suffer from temporary hearing loss. IQF, Joey! IQF!

Well, after little deliberation. I’ve decided that these knuckle heads are not academics. There is, however, an opening in the cafeteria kitchen at Bravo University. I’m sure they’ll fit right in.

I have to say, this quickfire challenge was a lot of fun. Early in the game, Dale struggled to identify one of the food items and his reaction was priceless.



He placed his huge (flinstone-like) hands on his head and made a few cute gestures. He provided the wrong answer. Oh, and check him out wearing a black muscle shirt.



He’s such a tease. Dale, I’ve already told you that I’m trying to make things work with Brian. You know how hard it is to crack a straight guy. However, I’m willing to meet with you in private to discuss other arrangements. Call me.



My beloved Brian was so close to winning, but he wasn’t able to identify eggplant. Oh well. You’ll get them next time, tiger. Ok, I’m not going to lie; I was kind of surprised that Casey ended up winning the quickfire challenge. Yeah, I totally didn’t see that one coming.



You know, it’s easy to underestimate this lovely Texan. I used to think she lacked motivation. But Casey has somehow managed to keep herself in the game. And I think she’s the strongest of the three remaining women. One great thing about Casey is her ability to charm the pants off of any living thing. She got Lia to love her, and now Dale just can’t seem to get enough of her. How does she do it? She's like a heroine--a few hits and you're addicted. However, the big question is, can Casey win this thing?

I can’t tell you how disappointed I am with the two Saras. Sara N. is slow and clueless, while Sara M. doesn’t seem to care about anything. Actually, Sara M. did snap back at Tom at the judges’ table. I guess that should count for something. I really don’t expect much from these two. And it’s so obvious that Tom wants Sara M. out.



CJ and Tre ended up winning this elimination challenge, and they deserved it. Tre is certainly one to watch. I’m not sure about CJ; however, the guy is really likable, and he has a great sense of humor. I wish him the best. Brian is another one to watch, I think. He’s been playing it safe by sticking to what he knows best—seafood. That plan may backfire on him. Yeah, he really needs to wow the judges again soon. I have a kind of love/hate relationship with Hung. I think he’s talented, but his little diva attitude is starting to get annoying. Now, I have nothing against true divas. Hung just needs to stop telling us how great his is and start showing us. As they say, actions speak louder than words. I’m already getting tired of Howie. Both he and Sara brought out the worst in each other in this episode; not a good thing at this stage in the game. And Howie’s already on Gail’s shit list. I was rooting for him at the outset, but I’m starting to reconsider my position.

So . . . that leaves us with Joey. The judges asked him to pack his knives and go. I wasn’t at all surprised. It was his time. It’s funny how Bravo seems to reinforce some stereotypes, while breaking down others. In Shear Genius, they had two Lesbian stylists. In this season of Top Chef, the women seem to be more calm and collected, while the men are emotional and unstable. In fact, Howie and Joey provided most of the emotional instability in this episode. Yep, in Top Chef:Miami, it’s the men, not the women, who cry like babies.

Confession of a Bravo Whore: I Enjoyed Flipping Out

I’m sure many of you watched the series premiere of Flipping Out last night. My friends over at Bravissimo wrote a great little piece about it. They even came up with their own list! To be honest, I was really looking forward to Bravo’s new reality show offering, but I was expecting the worst. Seriously, some of the clips I had seen over the past few weeks looked so fake and scripted. I know that’s not surprising for a reality show, but things didn’t look promising for Jeff and his gang. Fortunately for the suits at Bravo, I’m a proud Bravo whore and my general curiosity kept me glued to the television last night. That and my love for successful gay men!



Well, for some reason, I actually found the show entertaining. And I can’t really explain why. I mean, there are so many things about this show that make it seem like a bad idea.



For starters, Jenni and Chris are both struggling actors. They’re also married, which is the cutest thing. Oh, I should point out that I thought I was going to hate Jenni, but after watching the first episode, I’ve decided that I don’t hate her. I’m still not sure what to make of this Elaine (from Seinfeld) look-a-like, but I think she’s going to win me over. She seems a bit too lethargic and uninspired at times, but she also knows how to have fun. Also, I suspect most of Jeff’s employees are also actors or somehow affiliated with the entertainment industry. Hey, they all live in L.A.; I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.



The biggest hurdle for the show seems to be getting the public to connect with Jeff Lewis, the show’s star, on some level. Bravo failed miserably with Hey Paula! Yeah, let’s not go there. Anyway, Jeff talks openly about having OCD; he criticizes his assistants for every little thing; and he seems to think the world revolves around him (and his animals).

However, I would consider Flipping Out a surprising success. Ok, it’s not as good as Shear Genius, and I doubt it will have all the drama that was packed into Workout Season 2. But all the individual elements of this new show seem to be coming together quite well. I want more lists! I want to see more of Jeff wearing his perfectly ironed shirts! I want to see more of Jenni dancing (not rapping) and working in the studio! I want to see a shirtless Ryan working on something—anything! Yeah, I’m already looking forward to the next episode.

Ryan Speaks

Ryan is a certified hottie. We didn't get to see much of him in this episode. But I'm sure he'll get more air time next week. Ryan is Jeff Lewis' business partner and ex-boyfriend. Yep, that's a recipe for disaster.

Kathy Griffin: Red-Headed Oprah

El Mundo De Top Chef (Top Chef 3, Episode 5)

Don’t worry; I’m not going to bitch and complain about this episode of Top Chef: Miami. I did that last week, but the Gods of reality television didn't hear my prayers. Yep, another woman was eliminated. Surprise, surprise. Anyway, in this episode, the cheftestants had to create something tasty using frozen pie crusts for the quickfire challenge. Dale’s reaction to the news was priceless.

Fuck you!

Oh, Dale, please behave. Actually, Dale considered this a great opportunity to redeem himself after a disappointing showing last week. He was quite confident with his final dish for the quickfire challenge—a spinach and salmon dish accompanied by a strawberry tart. He even stated that those two dishes were some of the best dishes he had made in the entire competition thus far. Well, Maria Frumkin, the guest judge, wasn’t impressed. She also didn’t seem to like Hung’s and Lia’s dishes. Oh, well, you can’t win them all. She was very pleased with Joey, Sara M., and Tre. However, she was most impressed by Joey’s trio of tarts. She even suggested that he had future in tarts. I loved how Joey looked into the camera and confessed that he had some experience making pastries, which he failed to mention to Maria. I’m sure Dale was pissed.



For the elimination challenge, the cheftestants were instructed to prepare Latin dishes for the cast and crew of Dame Chocolate, a telenovela that airs on Telemundo. Joey was all smiles; he described his reaction to this particular challenge,

I get excited . . . All hot Latina women . . . I get all happy.

Yes, Joey, I know exactly what you mean. We’ll get to that later. Anyway, the cheftestants were given $125 and 30 minutes to shop for ingredients and all that other good stuff. Some of them complained, of course, but everyone managed to buy all the necessary things. They were also told that they would have 3 hours to cook. However, Padma included an important caveat—the show’s schedule is constantly being adjusted. No one seemed to listen or they heard and just didn’t care.

In the kitchen, things were going smoothly until Tom walked in and announced that the lunch had been pushed up. The chefs’ time had been cut in half to 1 ½ hours.

Oh. My. God.

Oh, calm down, Brian. You always end up making some seafood dish anyway; I’m sure you can rely on one of your many recipes. Just put some salsa on it and I’m sure they’ll love it. I just have to say, Brian is the hottest chef in the kitchen. Hm, I think I should dedicate an entire post to him. Yeah, he deserves that. Ok, sorry, let’s move on.

As usual, Howie never works well under pressure. His sweat glands were on overdrive, and Ted had something to say about that in his blog. Seriously, I’d prefer a Howie dish without sweat as the key ingredient, thank you very much. Hung giggled uncontrollably as he talked about his Dish with Tom. Then he ran around the kitchen like a mad man with a knife in hand. He almost cut poor Casey who was busy making some kind of mole sauce that no one seemed to like.

Fortunately, the cheftestants finished their dishes, packed their things, and headed to the set of Dame Chocolate. As soon as they arrived, Joey and I were on the same page, so to speak. He was looking forward to seeing hot Latin women; while I was hoping to catch a glimpse of as many hot Latin men as possible, especially one of the biggest male soap stars in Latin America and the male protagonist in Dame Chocolate. Can you say Carlos Ponce? Yes, Joey and I were like bird watchers, waiting patiently for a glimpse of the ever elusive Latin hottie.

After the chefs set up their tables, some guy announced that it was lunch time, and the cast and crew made their way to the food. First, let me just say that I suspect that most of the people there were crew members. I didn’t see many ridiculously hot Latin women or men. Thanks a lot, Bravo. Then, just when I had given up hope, a mysterious woman approached Sara N’s table. Finally! A sexy Latin vixen! This histrionic woman had to be the show’s promiscuous she-devil. You know the one I’m talking about—the whore who sleeps with every rich man in town and tries to murder anyone who gets in her way.



Oh, wait, it was just Gail.



But, then, I spotted another lovely lady. Surely, she must play the part of the indigenous girl from a rural town in Mexico who moves to Miami in search of a better life (and love), I thought to myself. Then, I spotted a man with more rico suave than Ricky Martin. Hm, that must be Carlos Ponce or his chubby older brother, I wondered.



No, I was wrong again. The lovely indigenous girl was none other than Padma, and the rico suave guy was our very own Tom Colicchio.



Eventually, after what seemed like an eternity, Joey’s dream came true. He saw former Venezuelan beauty queen Natalia Streignard. Yep, this hot Latin woman is the real deal. Of course, there were other lovely ladies. And I’m sure Joey was very happy. I waited faithfully for Carlos Ponce, but he never showed up. Yeah, I was a little disappointed, but I was pleased to see some random hot Latin guy (probably a crew member); he was sitting next Gail. Muy caliente!



So, after Tom and Gail asked the cast a few questions like "who plays the bitch" and "have any of the women had sex with Carlos Ponce," everyone starts to talk about the food. They loved Sara M’s Chiles Rellenos, Howie’s Pork with Yuca Sour Orange Mojo, and Joey’s Bean Stew with Lobster. Most weren’t impressed with Hung’s Arroz con Pollo. Nope, not even Hung’s surprisingly good Spanish speaking skills could save him. Most agreed that Sara N’s Avocado Ceviche didn’t really qualify as Ceviche. Lia’s dish was also one of the least favorites, and Casey’s dish was a total miss.



Howie ended up winning the elimination challenge, and he graciously gave his prize, a bottle of Argentine wine, to his new bff Joey. That was really sweet. Of course, one of the chefs had to be eliminated. That’s the nature of the game. And the judges asked Lia to pack her knives and go.



You know, I really like Lia. It took a while, but she won me over with her professionalism and down-to-earth personality. She was never manipulative; she always spoke directly and honestly. She has earned my respect and admiration. It’s sad to see her go, but the show must go on. She offered the following words before she left,

I’m definitely going to keep on cooking. It’s what I love to do. I love being in a kitchen. I love food. I love feeding people; it’s fun!

Good luck, chef. We enjoyed watching you on the show.

Yo, I'll Tell You What I Want, What I Really, Really Want (Top Chef 3, Episode 4)

This episode of Top Chef:Miami was all about the ladies. Finally! First, for the quickfire challenge, the cheftestants had to pair an appetizer with a cocktail. Dale was very pleased because he had prior experience in mixology and food pairing. However, despite Dale’s slight advantage, Casey ended up winning and earned the highly coveted “get out of jail free” card (i.e., immunity).



Yep, I was quite happy that a woman won this challenge. I’ll explain why I was so happy later. Promise. The only problem I had with Casey’s win was that she seemed a little clueless while preparing her dish, but her hair-brain idea worked! French toast saved the day. Good for her. Oh, and Joey is such a lush. Someone please keep that guy away from the booze.



Then, for the elimination challenge, the cheftestants were divided into teams of three. Each team was instructed to create one course, with each team member contributing a dish and all three had to use the same ingredient. Casey went from clueless to careless. Seriously, she seemed to lack motivation. And I don’t think she was over-confident; she just didn’t seem to care. Of course, she had immunity, but it’s not good to leave a bad impression at the judges’ table. And that’s exactly what she did. Tom called her tuna tartare weak. What happened, Casey? You’re not an amateur. So stop acting like one.



Ah, but this episode belonged to Lia. Yes, this sweet gal impressed the judges with her olive oil poached shrimp. You know, Lia seems to lack personality; she’s not very outgoing, but she seems like a down-to-earth person. I like that, and in this episode, she proved that she has what it takes to compete with the best of ‘em.



Of course, one of the cheftestants had to be eliminated, and the judges made the right decision by asking Camille Becerra to pack her knives (and bikini) and go. I was heartbroken but have since recovered. As they say, the show must go on.

Now, let’s move on to other more important matters. Yes, a disturbing realization hit me the other day and it’s been bugging me ever since. Here, for your consideration, I’ve posted pictures of previous winners of four Bravo reality shows (Project Runway, Top Chef, Top Design, and Shear Genius).






Do you see the problem? Yep, only one of the seven winners is a woman. And I find that very problematic. What’s going on? It’s tempting to just attribute this to chance and forget about it. Well, I’m sorry, but I’m not going to let this go just yet. I’ve got my eye on you, Bravo. Ok, I’m not suggesting that we just hand the victory to an individual who happens to have two X chromosomes. This is, after all, a competition.

If I had to guess, I’d say we’re dealing with a sampling issue. That is, the group of women selected for these reality programs may not be representative of the real talent that’s out there. Could it be that the casting director and his or her people aren’t getting the best female contestants possible. Of course, the same case could be made for the male contestants. However, I wonder whether women have to overcome more obstacles than men if they want to participate in these shows. Let’s face it; married professional women who have children are probably less likely to consider participating than their male counterparts. And this season of Top Chef doesn’t look promising. Three women have already been eliminated, and the show’s just getting started.

Fortunately, there’s a powerful force that has been awakened after years of slumber. It’s a force that’s hard to explain, but we all know what it is. Of course, I’m talking about GIRL POWER!


I have to admit; I always underestimated girl power, but not anymore. This awesome force of nature is capable of turning mediocre performances into international pop superstars. Simon Fuller used this power wisely when he created the hugely successful pop group The Spice Girls. Can he do it again? I have my doubts, but we’ll see what happens.

Now, I’m optimistic that the return of The Spice Girls will serve as a catalyst for change in Bravo reality television. Maybe this awesome power will propel young Lia to realize her full potential. Maybe this amazing power will hit both Saras like a huge dose of amphetamine. Maybe this power will slap some sense into Casey, a woman who seems content with just playing it safe.

I want these women to get their acts together. Yes, that’s what I want. That’s what I really, really want!

Hasta Luego, Mi Amor

I almost cried after this episode of Top Chef:Miami. Seriously, when Padma asked Camille to pack her knives and go, I almost lost it. I just wanted to hug the hell out of that girl. Why, why, why, I kept asking myself. Why didn't we see more of you? Why didn't you blow us away with some amazing dish? Why did you switch places with Hung? He abandoned the final group when Dale declared them “Team Pastry.” That was a smart move, Hung; you bastard!



At first, I wasn’t really concerned for Camille. Dale’s idea made sense. I mean, you can’t go wrong with dessert. Right? And Camille seemed very confident. Well, she had me fooled. In fact, I was convinced that the loser had to be either Tweedle Dee or Tweedle Dumb. Bravo fooled me yet again.



Although Camille’s elimination was a sad, sad moment for me, I can’t say I didn’t see it coming. She had received little air time in previous episodes. She never really prepared any amazing dishes. She was just . . . there—right smack in the middle, an invisible woman, really. We never really got a chance to know Camille. I still can't explain how I became a fan. She just seems like a real sweetheart, and that gets me every time.



She said very little at the judges table, and the little she did say was not very impressive. I think that was her major malfunction, to borrow a word from Anthony Bourdain . She could learn a thing or two from Howie. That guy can talk his way out of anything. Sometimes, a well thought out response at the judges table can save the day, something Howie knows all to well.



I wasn’t the only one affected by Camille’s elimination. Dale was visibly upset by the judges’ decision, and he acknowledged that he felt responsible for the whole mess. Well, Dale, it wasn’t really your fault. It was an unfortunate outcome, for sure, but we shouldn’t point any fingers. Camille chose to join your group; nobody forced her. Honestly, at this stage in the game, it’s important to know one’s strengths and weaknesses. Brian is a case in point. Of all the cheftestants, he’s made decisions that have highlighted his strengths. He’s a smart cookie, but he can’t fool Tom for much longer. I’m sure this was a great learning experience for Camille, and I wish her the best in NYC.



The last few minutes were quite touching. Even Joey, the big lug, shed a few tears as he hugged Camille.



And, as she went around the room hugging and saying goodbye to her fellow cheftestants, it was very clear that everyone was fond of her. It was a pleasure to see. Camille is so full of energy; she has a great personality; she’s friendly; and, in addition to all those great personal qualities, she looks great in a bikini.



So, I guess I’ll have to come to terms with the judges’ decision. In fact, I think they made the best decision under these circumstances.



You know, The HoInMo wrote an interesting post about Jamie Lee Curtis. Apparently, Ms. Curtis thinks that most people watch reality television for all the wrong reasons. Well, I have no evidence to refute her claims. However, I do believe that there are many television viewers (like me) who watch various reality shows and support their favorite contestants for all the right reasons. Miss Xaxa had her papi chulo, and I will always have the lovely Camille. I’d like to end this post on a positive note. Camille offered the following parting words to the remaining cheftestants,

I just want to say, you guys are so brilliantly talented. And I want you to rock hard!

Thanks, Camille. And I just want to say that you rock! Hasta luego, mi amor.

I'm Really Looking Forward To . . .

Oh, the suits at Bravo sure know how to please. I'm sure I speak on behalf of many gay men when I say, thank you, Bravo! Yes, there's a new reality show in the works called Flipping Out. Click here to meet the show's star, Jeff Lewis. You have my attention, Jeff.

Entertaining Deviants (D-List 3, Episode 5)

This episode of My Life on the D-List has to be one of Kathy’s best. Actually, this episode kind of felt like two; in the first half, she hosted the Gay Adult Video Awards, while, in the second half, she performed for two groups of prison inmates.



The show started with Kathy getting ready for a blind date. Ok, it wasn’t really a blind date; she knew who she was going out with. She had just never met the guy before. Who was the lucky fella, you must be wondering? It was Mike “The Mouth” Matusow.

I know what you must be thinking. Mike has to be a gay porn star. Nope! He’s actually a professional poker player. They call him the “The Mouth” because he talks a lot of trash at the poker table. Also, this guy has no game. When asked if he was familiar with Kathy’s work, he clumsily admitted that he had no idea who Kathy was. Kathy was upstairs and heard the whole thing. Then what did the idiot do? He went upstairs and told Kathy he was a big fan. Kathy immediately responded, “I just heard you say that you knew nothing about me!”

Yeah, Mike has no clue how to treat a lady. He actually said the following to Kathy’s mom,

Mom, I’m gonna take care of her. If she gets on my nerves . . . [almost kicks Kathy’s mom] right where it goes. I ain’t gonna take nothing from her

Maggie, Kathy’s mom, looked concerned. This guy needs a serious makeover and an attitude adjustment. Where are the fab 5 when you really need them? Oh, and I suspect he has adult ADD. Seriously, the guy couldn't sit still for one second.

Of course, Kathy loves putting herself in awkward situations. Fortunately, that little clip of Kathy and Mike lasted only a few minutes. Next, Kathy prepared for the Gay Adult Video Awards. She enlisted the help of her (straight) friend Eric who also happens to be a comedy writer. Perfect!



Ok, what is Kathy doing dating guys like Mike (and Ron Jeremy) when a guy like Eric is just a phone call away? Now, I’m not going to lie; I think Eric is a cutie. Of course, he’s probably married. Or, he may be in denial. Let’s face it; Kathy is like a gay magnet. Even her ex-boyfriend turned out to be gay. Anyway, she and Eric discussed material for her Gay Porn Award’s gig. Also, Eric asked her if all gay porn guys were gay. Well, Eric, there is such a thing as gay for pay. Are you interested? I’m just kidding. I don’t pay for sex. I do, however, tip strippers. Hey, they’re performers. Don’t judge me!

Moving on. Kathy was like a kid in a candy store during the Award’s ceremony. She was running a little late for the red carpet, but she made it and everything went as scheduled. The crowd just loved her and she rocked. I was quite impressed by Chi Chi LaRue. It’s no wonder she’s one of the top gay porn director’s in the states and maybe even the world. She’s a no nonsense kind of drag queen.

Yes, there were hot men all over the place, and Kathy had them all worshiping her every move. It was an interesting night.



There were, of course, some big names present. Michael Brandon “Mr. Monster Dick” was there and presented a few awards. Now, I can’t help but wonder—who comes up with these names? I acknowledge that his porn name is completely appropriate, but is that the best they could come upt with? Whoever came up with that name has to be the laziest person in the adult entertainment industry. What’s next? Mr. Big Balls? Sadly, Michael has no stage presence. He was such a bore.

You know, I figured that porn stars and pornographers were shallow individuals who only cared about making money and having lots of sex. But, this episode was all about breaking down stereotypes. Actually, it reinforced some stereotypes, while challenging others. For example, one guy said the following,

As far as I am concerned, everyone one of you in the gay porn industry is doing God’s work

Amen! Ok, wait, who is this guy and what the hell was he talking about? I have no idea. However, he seemed really serious. Maybe he was talking about the importance of promoting gay male sexuality; or perhaps he was just praising his fellow pornographers for providing a service to the gay community. Of course, he could also be crazy. That’s a possibility if you consider that the words (gay) porn and God don’t belong in the same sentence.

And just when we thought things couldn’t get any stranger, some guy offered the following,

I need to thank the countries of Lebanon and Israel for being strong neighbors, and hopefully one day there will be peace there

I’m with Kathy; who knew? Seriously, people in the gay porn industry are just as concerned about important issues as the rest of us. Bless their hearts.



Savanna Sampson won the award for best non-sex performance. Apparently, this is really an “acting” award. Now, I don’t know who Savanna is, but I think I like her. She got on the stage, accepted her award, and didn’t look the least bit overcome with emotion. She was just there to have a good time. I’m sure Savanna knows her real place in the universe. And Tom’s reaction was priceless.

Finally . . . a female porn star

Yes, the event was a huge success for Kathy and she was given the very first Naked Swordsman Award. Nice! I wonder if she’ll be adding that to her resume.



The second half of the show had plenty of humor and fun, but it also offered a very serious topic—the reality of life behind bars. Kathy was touched by a group of female inmates who shared their life experiences with her. She held back the tears while talking to them, but the minute she stepped outside with her assistants, she couldn’t hold them back any longer. The best part was seeing the prisoners respond so positively to her performance. I was kind of expecting her to bomb, but she was a hit with both male and female inmates. Good for her.

For more information about My Life on the D-List and other Bravo shows, visit my friends over at the Bravissimo Blog and Reality on Bravo.

Long Live Meatloaf (Top Chef 3, Episode 3)

For some strange reason, I experienced something akin to separation anxiety as I watched this episode of Top Chef 3. Where was Gail? Oh, that’s right—she and Ted Allen can never be in the same place at the same time. Interesting. Now, don’t get me wrong; nothing makes me happier than seeing Ted Allen on television. I just kind of miss having Gail around.



Anyway, the elimination challenge for this episode of Top Chef was all about updating classic American favorites into modern meals that are lower in cholesterol. Hung complained that these dishes were nothing like the family meals he grew up eating; all the classic American dishes looked disgusting to him. Well, no one really cared. In fact, with each passing episode, it’s becoming increasingly clear that most of the cheftestants aren’t too happy with Hung, the self-proclaimed CPA (certified professional asshole). However, as Eric3000 has pointed out, Hung isn’t a very successful asshole.



Actually, most of his vitriol is directed at the camera and defenseless Crustaceans. What did that crawfish ever do to him? Honestly, I suspect Hung is a big wuss. He had a chance to unleash his fury during episode 2 when Joey kept complaining that Hung had stolen one of his ideas. So, what did the self-proclaimed CPA do? Did he show Joey what a real asshole is made of? No. Instead, he danced around like a confused Ahslee Simpson and giggled like a school girl. Even CJ’s lone testicle is bigger than Hung’s pair. Actually, whether or not Hung should be considered an asshole depends on who you ask. If you ask one of the cheftestants, they’d probably say that Hung isn’t an asshole; he’s just an annoying guy. On the other hand, if you ask some random marine organism, they may agree that Hung is the biggest asshole on the planet.



So, on behalf of Pepe, the King Prawn, and all marine organisms, I’d like to say,

You’re an asshole, Hung. I’m sure that makes you very happy, you bastard.

Anyway, in this episode, Micah hit a very low note with her meatloaf, while Howie hit a home run with his perfect pork chops. Poor, Micah. Apparently, her meatloaf tasted like crap, but she also managed to get under guest judge Alfred Portale’s skin by saying, “Americans like to put ketchup on . . . [meatloaf]” Somehow, Alfred detected a little attitude in her voice. Honestly, I didn’t detect any attitude. She was just making a comment. Now, Elia’s comment about American cheese was full of attitude. But that’s in the past; let’s move on.



Maybe Micah’s biggest sin was not respecting a plate that is truly American. My beloved Ted Allen said the following of Meatloaf,

My friends, meatloaf is Elvis! Meatloaf is ingenuity and spirit, the American housewife’s answer to scarcity in times of war and poverty! Meatloaf is the culinary expression of Rosie-the-Riveter’s determination . . . Meatloaf is America! There is honor in meatloaf!

God, I love Ted. And that passage makes me miss my grandmother’s meatloaf. Oh, and his words are perfect because Independence Day is just around the corner. Long live meatloaf!

So, not surprisingly, Micah was sent home. CJ’s dish was poorly executed, whereas Hung’s dish was well executed, I think. Brian pissed off Tom. Lobster wasn’t a good idea; this guy is turning out to be a one-trick pony. Lia didn’t even try, and she was expressionless when confronted by the judges. Seriously, she was almost sent home but she didn’t even blink. Camille made tacos, of course, and she’s one spicy Latina. Love her!

Dale’s chicken and dumplings dish was very impressive—a true reinvention. At first, I thought he was a goner. He used Instant mash potatoes for his dish. Well, the guy knew what he was doing, and Bravo just loves to mess with our heads. So, great job, Dale!



However, Howie stole the show. His pork chops looked delicious and everyone loved it. Interestingly, I’d say he’s just as unpredictable as Micah. His and Micah’s dishes are usually hits or misses. And that’s not good. I’m rooting for Howie, but he needs to prove himself. This was a great start.



By the way, I’ve got my eye on Brian. How’d that happen, you must be wondering? Well, seeing him shirtless did the trick and he’s also quite charismatic. Don’t worry, Ted. I still love you more. And there’s no harm in looking. Right?

D-List 2 & 3: Lesbians, Strap-Ons, and Sad News

Last week, Kathy Griffin went on a faux date with Nick Carter, the Backstreet Boy and Wigger. I apologize if my use of this word offends anyone; I'm merely repeating what came out of Kathy's mouth. Yeah, so I still don't understand why she would even consider hanging out with Nick Carter. Damselfly over at the Bravissimo Blog noted that a lot of the scenes this season are too contrived. Of course, this is reality television, and that’s to be expected. However, some of the situations she gets herself into are just awkward (and boring). I’m sure Nick’s a nice guy, but he’s old news. I’d much rather see her hanging out with Rosie or some random gay person. How about her BFF Lance Bass?



I did, however, enjoy seeing her hang out with Rachel True. I haven’t seen Rachel in ages. She played Mary Jane in the hilarious movie Half Baked, and she also played a teen witch in the surprisingly effective film The Craft. Rachel was Kathy’s dating coach, and she shared some words of wisdom with our beloved comedienne.

Have fun and be comfortable. And push those tits up!

Rachel’s right; straight men love that! I find it funny that Rachel didn’t mention the important stuff—like, I don’t know . . . personality? Ok, that doesn’t make for good TV. It’s all about tits. Got it.

So, nothing of interest happened last week. Actually, I have to admit that Tom is growing on me. The guy really seems to be doing his job. I have to give credit to Ms. Place for believing in his potential. She was right. However, I still have no clue what Jessica and Tiffany are doing there. I’ve seen them write stuff down on note pads, and they help Kathy write emails. That’s it! Are they really necessary?



This week (episode 3), Kathy Griffin didn’t pull any punches. She aimed to please her gay viewers, and she succeeded. Yep, they finally showed Kathy working out with none other than Jackie Warner at SkySport and Spa. We knew it was coming, of course. But it was nice seeing Jackie again; I kind of miss her, actually.

We knew from a previous episode that Kathy was scheduled to perform on one of Rosie O’Donnell’s famous cruises. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking: LESBIANS! A lot of lesbians (and their children). And Kathy was determined to be a hit on that cruise. So, the main reason Kathy stopped by SkySport and Spa was to ask her new lesbian friend, Jackie, for some advice. Here’s what Jackie said about cracking a Lesbian audience,

Lesbians don’t like sexual references, but they love to talk about sex toys. I recommend you talk about every type of strap-on and vibrator.

Ok, so . . . if you want to be a hit with a Lesbian audience, then you should not make any sexual references. However, it’s ok to talk about sex toys. Hm, that makes no sense to me. Both topics have to do with sex. Whatever. We’ll just have to take Jackie’s word for it. Then, just when we thought things couldn’t get any gayer, Jackie introduced Kathy to Gage, a gay porn star. He should look familiar; he’s the guy who made Jesse sweat on the 7th episode of Workout. Yeah, Gage is a hunk, and Kathy was all over him.

One thing I love about Life on the D-List is that they show the business side of comedy. Kathy is such a hard worker. She rarely turns down a gig. We’ve seen her give flawless performances, but we’ve also seen her flop from time to time. That’s just the nature of the business. I have more to say about Kathy as a comedian, but I’ll save that for another post.



Ok, now let’s get to the sad stuff. I’m sure most of you noticed that my previous (Top Chef) post was a tad on the negative side. Well, I’m convinced that Bravo is just messing with my head. The last few episodes of Workout Season 2 were heartbreaking. Clay, the charming Southern boy on Top Chef 3, was eliminated last week. Well, this is the D-List episode we’ve all been dreading; yeah, Kathy was forced to deal with her father’s death. It just broke my heart that she wasn’t with him when he passed away. You know, the one thing I really enjoy about the D-List is watching Kathy discuss various things with her parents (Sean Hannity?). Hilarious! And it was great to see how supportive they were of her career choices. Well, it’s sad that Mr. Griffin is no longer with us. But, as they say, the show must go on.

Eels, Fried Toes, and A False Testicle

Ah, Miami, so full of color, beautiful people, Latin rhythms, and all sorts of great stuff.



Yeah, I was all smiles as I sat on my sofa watching Top Chef on Wednesday. Well, the fine folks at Bravo somehow managed to change all of that. In fact, the show had a weird, negative vibe to it. Seriously, I started off with a smile on my face, but as soon as the show ended, I felt like I needed a hug (and some serious emotional support). Here are a few of things that made the show a tad weird/depressing:





The show started off with the cheftestants mingling in a room at Casa Casuarina, Gianni Versace’s former mansion. As soon as I found that out, my heart sank to the floor. Now, there’s nothing wrong with the place; it’s quite lovely. I’m talking about being reminded of Gianni’s untimely death. Yeah, what a sad story. Gianni was a great designer, and his life was cut short by some deranged killer. But, ok, we got to see clips of the mansion; so, that was nice. The Gianni thing made me a little less cheerful, but it was nothing major.


Then, we meet CJ, one of the cheftestants, and we learn a little more about him. Apparently, he’s a private chef and went that route because he was diagnosed with . . . cancer. And he has a false testicle. Fortunately, he’s in remission and seems to be doing just fine. However, things seemed to be getting more depressing by the minute. A few minutes earlier, I was reminded of Gianni Versace, and then I was reminded of a terrible disease like cancer; all of this within the first 10 minutes of the show. But I was fine, a lot less cheerful than before, but still fine.


After a less than impressive performance in the quickfire challenge, Clay, the Southern boy, talked about his father who was, according to Clay himself, a great chef. He wanted to make his father proud by winning the title of Top Chef. To be honest, I’m a sucker for that sort of thing. Then, Clay dropped the bomb—his father committed suicide. Talk about depressing, and if I had to guess, I'd say his father suffered from depression. It didn’t help that the camera kept following Clay around; I just knew this kid wasn’t going to last much longer. Ok, so the bad stuff just keeps getting worse: sad memories (Gianni’s death), cancer, suicide, and a Southern boy with an impossible dream. Could it get any worse?

Well, it didn’t get worse, but it certainly got . . . more interesting? The elimination challenge was something out of an Indiana Jones movie. Remember that one scene where a group of people are at a dinner table that’s embellished with snakes and even a monkey’s head at the center of the table. Ok, it wasn’t that bad; there wasn’t a monkey’s head in this episode of Top Chef, but I’m sure the producers thought about it. Anyway, for the elimination challenge, the cheftestants were asked to create a surf and turf entrée using proteins that most Americans would never even think of eating—snake, alligator, eel, and so on. I’ll stick with lobster and steak, thank you very much. I thought it was an interesting challenge, but that table looked like something straight out of Fear Factor. Seriously, I was expecting Joe Rogan to appear out of the blue. So, now, in addition to depressing memories, cancer, suicide, a Southern boy with an impossible dream, we add a whole table full of unappetizing raw proteins.

Ok, so maybe I was being a little too sensitive. The show wasn't that depressing. However, things in Bravo TV land have been quite depressing lately. Doug (Workout Season 2) passed away a few months ago, and that was sad. Kathy Griffin ended a bad marriage a few months ago, and we all know that her father died recently. I’m sorry, Bravo, but this is just too much. I’m not going to stop watching Bravo reality television; that was never an option, really. But I can only handle so much sadness and misery.

Fortunately, this episode of Top Chef wasn’t all sad memories and bad stuff. A lot of great and interesting stuff happened, too. And, there wasn't too much drama, which is usually a good thing. Right? It was all about the food.


Tom Colicchio never disappoints. As soon as he walked into that room at the Casa Casuarina, he summoned the cheftestants to gather around him like little school children eagerly awaiting instruction from a teacher. He reminded them that he is the head judge, which all of us know by now. Thanks for the reminder, Tom. You know, I’ve often wondered how many calories he consumes every season. Now, I love Tom; I really do. The guy is all man and he knows it. In fact, he adds some much needed masculinity to Bravo reality television. But Tom really needs to go to Los Angeles and get involved in Jackie Warner’s SkyLab project. We like our reality TV stars to be fit and trim. And standing next to Padma doesn’t make him look any better. Yeah, we’re shallow when it comes to that sort of thing.


Holy stereotypes! That’s all I can say. Clay, the Southern Boy with an impossible dream, brought his Southern charm, or whatever it is you want to call it, to the show. The best part was hearing him say, “I’m from Mississippi; pick it up and eat that son of a bitch. That’s the way I see it!” I’m sure his Southern drawl drove many Bravo viewers crazy. Some have probably never met a real, honest-to-goodness Southern boy. And, of course, what show would be complete without the stereotypical Italian-American. I must say, Joey wore his Italia shirt with pride. I suspect he doesn’t speak a word of Italian, but, hey, that’s none of my business. My favorite Joey moment was hearing him say, “I’m the biggest baddest mother fucker here, and I’m from New York. I came to kick ass.” Well said, Joey. Let’s hope you can live up to the hype.


And how lovely are the ladies this season? Ok, I left Sandee out. I’m sure she’s lovely in her own way, but she’s no match for Camille. I also like Sarah N. and Casey. Anyway, let’s hope these girls can really cook. Oh, I just noticed that I left out Lia; she’s also lovely. Sorry! However, the woman who really stood out this week was Micah. She’s one to watch. Of course, it’s too early to tell who the favorites are. But, honestly, I hope this year’s winner has two X chromosomes.


Hung! First, please get those dirty thoughts out of your head. Anyway, Hung is one confident (and obnoxious) man, almost as confident as his buddy Marcel. I can’t tell you how excited I am to have someone like Hung on the show. What would reality television be with the drama queen/instigator? Also, it appears that Hung is a pretty good chef. He certainly impressed guest judge Anthony Bourdain. It’s been suggested that Hung is this season’s gay villain. Please note that, according to Charlus, you don’t actually have to be gay to be the gay villain. And that actually makes a lot of sense.


So, the show ended with no real surprises. Tre won the elimination challenge and redeemed himself in the eyes of the judges. Hung came in a very close second. According to the judges, Tre’s dish (shown below) was very well executed, while Hung’s dish was excellent but lacked a little color.


There were some unforgettable moments. I loved Padma’s comment about how you could fry anything—even her toe—and it would taste good. Tom got a kick out of that comment. Anthony brought some fun to the table. He insulted the people of Cambodia and made a few snarky comments.

And, sadly, the Southern boy with an impossible dream was asked to pack his knives and go home. By then, I had already hit rock bottom; this just broke my heart even more. Thanks, Bravo! :( You know, clinical research has shown that depression in parents increases the risk of depression in their children. Suddenly, it seems like a bad idea to send Clay back home with a bunch of knives. We’ll miss you, Clay. Hang in there, partner!



For more Top Chef fun, please visit Blogging Top Chef.

Happy International Weblogger’s Day

So, one of my coworkers is driving me nuts. She’s a nice person and I can tolerate her most of the time, but she’s one of the laziest individuals I’ve ever met. Seriously, this girl doesn’t know the meaning of the word motivation. It’s a miracle she shows up to work fully clothed. Yeah, I had a terrible day at work. As Jinxy would say, I need a drink!

Anyway, enough of that. It’s time to celebrate International Weblogger’s Day! Yay! Yes, I was tagged by a lovely gal named Allison who maintains an awesome blog called Reality on Bravo. Stop by her site and show some love. She deserves it. Seriously, you can always count on Allison to do the dirty work for you. She posts all kinds of stuff about Bravo (e.g., recaps, pictures, and news). She knows it all.

So, I’m supposed to list five reasons I love to blog, and they are as follows:

1. I’m addicted to Bravo reality television. Yes, it’s true. It’s both a blessing and a curse. I watch Bravo TV whenever possible. My all-time favorite Bravo reality TV episode is the Project Runway Season 1 finale. Seriously, I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve seen that sucker. Crazy! I just love sharing my thoughts about my favorite Bravo reality shows. And blogging lets me do just that.

2. I blog to keep in touch with family and friends. Actually, my mother, brothers, and some members of my extended family used to read my blog. Then, at some point, they just stopped. Ouch, that really hurts. Whatever. Apparently, they’ve got better things to do. Fortunately, I still have friends who read my blog. And, of course, I have to give credit to the person who inspired me to start blogging in the first place, and his name is Killervirgo. He’s a very good friend of mine—we met in Buffalo, NY and were college buddies back in the day (like 5 years ago?). Good times! Thanks for supporting my blog, Killervirgo. You rock! To my family, thanks for nothing. You’re so lucky I believe in unconditional love.

3. I blog because I’m a gay guy with something to say. Yeah, as a member of an often misunderstood minority group, I sometimes feel the need to share my thoughts and experiences with the world. And this blog has given me the opportunity to do that. I’ve also had the pleasure of reading other blogs that are maintained/written by gay men and women. It’s great to be in such good company.

4. I blog because it’s a great way to learn from others. Yeah, I love receiving feedback from other people. Everyone has their own unique perspective, and I try my very best to understand where people are coming from, so to speak. You’d be surprised; sometimes, one person’s comment can actually change my opinion about a topic. So, when people talk, I do listen. Well, that’s not entirely true; I usually ignore my annoying coworker, but I promise to listen to my readers and fellow bloggers.

5. I blog because it’s FUN! Yep, blogging about reality television and various aspects of pop culture is just plain fun! And that’s why I do this.

I apologize for posting this really late. Seriously, it’ll cease to be International Weblogger’s Day in less than an hour. Anyway, I’d like to thank Allison for thinking of me. So, now I have to tag five other bloggers. I know it’s too late to do this, but I’m going to do it anyway. I wish I could tag everyone one on my “It” list, but I can’t. So, I’d like to recognize the following blogs: And, You Are?, Dishin’ Dat, Damsel in Progress, Center of Gravitas, and Electronic Cerebrectomy. . . wait, I’d also like to recognize Jinxy, My New Plaid Pants, and Lazarus West (he was already tagged by Allison, but I have to recognize the great Laz). Anyway, I encourage all of my readers—all 5 or 6 of you—to visit these blogs. You can thank me later.

All About Ted Allen

My heart rate increases every time I hear the name Ted Allen. Ted, as most of you should know, is a member of the Fab 5. He was the food and wine connoisseur. Before joining the institution that is Bravo Reality Television, he was a contributing editor to Esquire magazine. He’s also a successful writer and food critic. This man can do it all.



I’m not going to lie; Ted is hands down my favorite of the 5 Fab. I actually like four of them and . . . tolerate the other one. Let me explain. Kyan Douglas is the hottie of the group, and you all know how I feel about attractive men. Come on. He’s the health and beauty expert. And that raises a few interesting questions. Why wasn’t he invited to participate in Shear Genius? Why did they have to import a queer from Denmark (i.e., Rene)? Seriously, Rene struggled to deliver his lines and some have suggested that he has a speech impediment. Now, I’m not complaining. Rene was fun to look at. However, I’m sure Kyan would have saved the production team a lot of time and money. Also, to be honest, Kyan is more my type than Rene, which is totally irrelevant because Bravo doesn’t create shows specifically for me. I was just sayin’. I also find it interesting that they never invited Jonathan Antin to be a guest anything on Shear Genius. That would have made me very happy.

Do I even need to tell you all that Carson Kressley was the best thing about Queer Eye? I think that’s a given. This man is comedic gold. The show would have been so boring without him. Thom Filicia was the interior design specialist. He seems like a nice guy, but he never really wowed me in any way. He was just there doing his thing, which is cool. I like him, just not as much as I like the other three. So, now we’re down to the last man—Jai Rodriguez. Apparently, he was the “culture vulture,” a cultural expert of sorts. Whatever. I’m sure he’s a very talented actor. However, I would have preferred a more cultured individual. Seriously, they couldn’t find someone a little more qualified? Is there a shortage of cultured gay men in New York City or other major U.S. cities? How about Copenhagen? Maybe they should have just asked Ted to wear two hats on the show—culinary expert and cultural know-it-all. I’m convinced that Ted can do anything. Now, to be fair, I’m sure some people love Jai, and the producers probably saw something special in him. Why else did they even consider him in the first place? I was just never crazy about him, and I've explained why. Sorry, I’m just being honest here.

Now, let’s get back to the task at hand: praising Ted Allen. Yes, this blog is officially in love with Ted. He’s just a great representative of the modern gay man in this country—cultured, sophisticated, intelligent, and so on. That’s not to say that he’s the best (and only) representative. The gay community is very diverse, and everyone has a purpose and contributes something, but I just adore Ted Allen.




Fortunately, Ted is one of the judges on Bravo’s hit reality show Top Chef Season 3. Ted will join Tom, Padma, and Gail. And that just makes me so happy. We’ll get to see Ted every Wednesday. Thank goodness for Bravo. Also, if you’re a fan of Top Chef and/or Ted Allen, I encourage you to visit three very cool blogs: Dishin’ Dat, Blogging Top Chef, and Top Chef 2: They Cook, We Dish. These blogs will provide you with recaps, commentary, and lots of bitchery. It’s wonderful.

I guess you could consider this my first Top Chef 3 post. Yes, I’ll be blogging about this great show at least once a week. I won’t be doing full recaps, just commentary on various aspects of the show. I may dedicate a few posts to the magnificent Ted Allen. Hey, someone had to replace Tabs and Sally. And Ted is that someone!

D-List Season 3: Tears, Fun, And Lots Of Laughs

Can you hear that? Listen carefully. It’s the roaring sound of laughter, traveling through the gay and fabulous blogosphere; and the one person responsible for that is our very own Kathy Griffin. She’s a colorful character and a great comic. And she’s all about putting on a good show.



Kathy’s the type of person who elicits extreme emotional responses from people—some people love her, while others can’t stand the woman. I have a friend who cringes every time she hears Kathy’s voice. Fortunately, this blog is all about loving Ms. Griffin. However, Kathy isn’t free from the scrutinizing eye of Cosmo Marius. She’s fair game just like anyone else.

Anyway, in the first few minutes of the show, we’re introduced to her new staff. Jessica, her assistant, is still around. And there are two new faces, Tiffany and Tom. Tiffany is just there doing stuff, I guess, while Jessica is becoming a celebrity of sorts. Yeah, I don’t quite understand it. I’m sure her legions of admirers have their reasons. Actually, I think she’s kind of cute, but she’s still just . . . an assistant. Ok, now let’s turn our attention to Tom. For some reason, I’m not feeling this guy. Is he adding anything special to the show? I don’t think so. And I’m not amused by his clueless straight boy antics. I assume most Bravo viewers would agree. It just feels so contrived—like the producers deliberately hired some random actor to agree to live in Kathy’s home and walk around in his underwear. Well, to be fair, he does seem to really work. Maybe he’ll grow on me. Hey, anything is possible.

Fortunately, we get to see a lot of Kathy just being herself, saying crazy things about celebrities. Oh, I think Kathy is slowly but surely rising above the D-list. Whoopi Goldberg! Rosie O’Donnell! Joan Rivers? Wait, do people even care about Joan anymore? I’m not judging; this is a serious question. Joan used to be one of the best female comics back in the day. Yep, she was a guest host on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson for many years. She was huge. Now, people don’t seem to realize that she was comedic gold in the 70s and 80s. I’m not crazy about her daughter Melissa, but I will always be a Joan Rivers fan. And I’m so glad Kathy loves Joan, too. Those women are a lot alike. Clearly, some important celebrities love Kathy, which is awesome.

Kathy’s interaction with Whoopi was very entertaining. Whoopi is so cool. Seriously, she has achieved a level of cool that most of us can’t even comprehend. To be honest, I’m not the world’s biggest fan of this great woman, but I recognize talent (and coolness) when I see it. Also, I lost count of the number of times Kathy and Whoopi used the word vagina. Then, on the view, Rosie O’Donnell just showered Kathy with love and support. I had no idea these women got along so well. It was a pleasure to see. Oh, if you love a good mystery, you should stop by the Bravissimo Blog where detective damselfly investigates the case of the faceless biatch.

The show builds up to Kathy’s big performance at Carnegie Hall. That’s right; our gal can perform with the best of ‘em. I think she’s a great performer, and watching her go over her material and prepare her set was great. She’s devoted to her craft, but she also loves to be spontaneous. And her efforts paid off; she got a standing ovation. Sadly, we weren’t able to see her Carnegie Hall performance. Thanks for nothing, Bravo.

It’s great to see people moving on and succeeding. At the out set, Kathy acknowledged that she felt betrayed by her ex-husband, and it appeared that she hadn’t fully recovered from the breakup. She said that she felt like she had lost her best friend. She even mentioned that her broken marriage was her biggest failure to date. She shed a few tears, but in true Kathy form, she refused to let that get the best of her. She continued to work, laugh, and smile the whole time. Thank goodness for Pom-Pom and Chance. Also, her parents are just so cute. It’s always a joy to see her with her parents. She had to get those funny genes from somewhere.

A Message From Sam Talbot . . .

. . . for the season 3 chefs.

Whatever you do; do NOT read the blogs. I repeat; do NOT read the blogs!

Sam, your words will probably fall on deaf ears. The first thing these young, eager chefs will do is run to their computers and google Top Chef Season 3. And those kids are in for a real treat. Let the bitchery begin.

Team Biatch 1: http://bloggingtopchef.blogspot.com/index.html
Team Biatch 2: http://www.amuse-biatch.blogspot.com/

Thanks For The Memories, Shear Genius

So, everyone’s favorite Bravo reality show Shear Genius has finally come to an end. If you’re looking for a recap of the finale, then you’re looking in the wrong place. If that's what you're looking for, then check out Eric’s hilarious recap on the Bravissimo blog. Good stuff!



Anyway, I’d like to share some of my general feelings and a few observations about the show. I think everyone in the blogosphere agrees that this show wasn’t your run-of-the-mill reality show. No! This show was all about the hair. There were, of course, a few bumps here and there. Some people seemed to lack interpersonal skills, while others were just plain weird. However, compared to other reality shows, this kind of stuff doesn’t qualify as drama. Although the whole Tabs vs. Tyson thing was kind of entertaining. Now, let’s scrutinize the geniuses and the judges.



Jaclyn Smith looked amazing on the finale. She was just radiant. And the woman is an excellent host/moderator. She was in control. She even contributed a few thoughtful comments during the deliberation in the finale. I think this was an educational experience for Jaclyn, too. Heidi Klum is no match for this angel. I’ll miss Jaclyn’s reactions to the stylists' odd behavior on the show. At first, I thought she just didn’t like interruptions. For example, she looked puzzled when Tabs started bashing Tyson. It was clear what Tabs was doing, but Jaclyn seemed disoriented. Was she expecting things to follow some sort of script? Was she looking for cue cards? It's a reality show, Jackie! I have no idea why you were surprised by a little drama. Sally, on the other hand, was all smiles. She loved the drama. Jaclyn also appeared moved by almost every loser’s goodbye speech; that was kind of cute. She would usually recover quickly and warn the stylists that any one of them could be next. Boy, she wasn’t kidding.



Is there anything cooler than Sally Hershberger? Well, yes—Tabs. But other than Tabs, no one can touch Sally. Yes, Sally was my favorite judge, and I’m not just saying that because she got to touch Meg Ryan’s head. Sally’s flat affect and use of the word “yummy” during the finale have earned her the title of coolest judge ever. It’s hard to be cool, but Sally makes it look so easy. Nina Garcia who?

My mind draws a blank when I try to think of good things to say about Michael Carl. I never really cared for the guy. Interestingly, He (and Sally) seemed a bit sedated during the finale. Hm, I guess Vidal’s presence really affected everyone on the show. They were all on their best behavior. Actually, the week before the finale, I remember thinking that Michael wasn’t too happy with Ben, and it showed during the finale. His embryo comment was just vicious. Was that really necessary, Michael? Come on. Ben is so harmless. I guess he felt the need to bitch slap Ben one last time just for old time’s sake.



If you’ve been reading my blog for the past few weeks, then you should know that I think the world of Tabatha Coffey. She’s a confident woman who doesn’t take bs from anyone. She has an aggressive personality and her hair styles were consistently hard-edged throughout the show. She gets extra points for being a lesbian. Hey, this is a gay blog, not as GAY as some other blogs, but gay nonetheless. Anyway, click here if you want to read an older post I dedicated to the hair witch (Tabs). I think I was sleep deprived when I wrote it. That actually explains a lot. Long live Tabs!



Daisy was a joy to watch every week. The Hialeah Sound Machine never apologized for being herself, and, of course, she shouldn’t. She’s loud; she’s Cuban; she’s queer; and she’s proud! Amen to that! I thought she was going to play it safe for the finale, but she did the exact opposite. She went nuts. I appreciate that fact that she did something different. However, it didn’t work out for her, and that's a shame. Also, I find it interesting that they were able to find two lesbian stylists to participate in the show. I guess there are more lesbian hairdressers out there than most would think.



I had a love/hate relationship with Ben throughout the show. This rocker from Illinois turned out to be the biggest sweetheart. I’m sure he can fight with the best of them, but he was a total gentleman from the start. He’s also quite the little sponge; yes, he’s a fast learner and that made all the difference in some of the challenges. Also, he was eager to please his clients and the judges, and that surely helped him make it to the final. Although I like Ben, I have to admit that I wasn’t pleased that he made it as far as he did. He’s one lucky guy. However, he did well in the finale. Oh, and how hot did he look throughout the final episode?



Anthony established himself as a contender from the start. He didn’t impress me all that much, but he did produce some consistently acceptable styles. And he saved the best for last. The judges made the right call by naming him the winner of the first season of Shear Genius. Ben’s inexperience and Daisy’s lack of time management (and foresight) helped Anthony secure the win. His precision cuts were very good.



So, I guess this is my last Shear Genius (season 1) post. It was fun watching the show and reading other blogs. And even though Rene didn’t really do much on the show, I will miss seeing his gorgeous face every Wednesday night. Now, it’s time to get ready for Top Chef 3. Yes!

The Hershberger School of Coolness

You might be gay if . . . you’re a guy who loves to blog about Shear Genius and beauty pageants. You might be a redneck if . . . oh, go ask Jeff Foxworthy.

Anyway, now that I’ve gotten that out of my system, I’d like to discuss everybody’s favorite reality show Shear Genius. Fortunately, life after Tabs isn’t as bad as I thought it would be; as they say, life goes on. Of course, now that Tabs is no longer in the picture, I have to come up with new material (thanks a lot judges). So, I’ve decided to focus my energies on the great Sally Hershberger. She’s a fascinating woman. In fact, she’s one of the most influential stylists in the entertainment industry. How do you like them apples?



The one thing I love about Sally is that she is well aware of her coolness. She’s mingled with people that Andre Leon Talley would call Hollywood royalty. She’s worked with great photographers. She’s done it all. Now, she’s a member of Bravo Reality Television, an institution that has been entertaining gay men and fabulous people for the past few years. Hm, I guess Bravo could be thought of as a University: Bravo University, to be exact. And like other institutions, it is made up of different departments and schools. The department of Health and Fitness is headed by Jackie Warner. The dean of the School of Fashion and impeccable taste is Tim Gunn, of course. But there’s another school that doesn’t receive much funding or attention: the Hershberger School of Coolness.

Yes, Sally is the dean of this often overlooked school. She usually shows up (fashionably) late to meetings. Her staff can’t stand her. She makes unreasonable demands on her students—like forcing them to take a course on the influence of the shag on Western Civilization. Sally is misunderstood. It’s not easy being cool. Oh, and we'll pretend like she didn't show up to the reunion special looking like a mere mortal.

Now, let’s talk about the stylists.

Tyson


Tyson is one confident person. Yes he is! He’s clearly a talented stylist, and he was one of the favorites before he was cut. It’s fun to watch Tyson work. He’s fast and efficient. He starts off with an idea and works hard to realize it. I’d say he produced some of the most impressive styles on the show. Unfortunately, the trait that made him so successful is the same trait that got him eliminated. When he has an idea, he works like a mad scientist to create something beautiful. The problem is . . . he doesn’t always produce something great. He can’t seem to break away from this very narrow-minded approach. So, at times, his approach produces something impressive, but it can also produce total crap.

Tabatha


Yeah, she’s been called a bitch and a bully, but this woman is talented and she’s officially the fan favorite. It’s hard to be objective when it comes to Tabs, but I’ll give it a shot. Tabs is an experienced stylist, and she rarely loses her cool. She works at a steady pace and knows what she’s doing. In the first episode, her style was one of the best; it was actually my favorite. Tabs is an aggressive person and that comes across in her styles. As Michael Carl would say, her styles have a hard-edge—she was a punk back in the day for crying out loud. Unfortunately, she seems to lack versatility. Seriously, don’t let this woman do wedding hair. She just doesn’t care to create anything beautiful. Another thing I noticed about Tabs is that she was becoming terribly predictable. Some of her styles looked cold and calculated; we were never wowed by most of her styles. Her best trait was her nonconformity and hard-edge, but that never really came through—we only got what appeared to be approximations of what a hard-edge style should be. It’s a shame because we know she’s capable of doing better.

Dr. Boogie


I hate to say it, but I think Boogie never seemed motivated to evolve or improve as a stylist. It’s one thing to be at the top of one’s game, where success has already been achieved. But Boogie is far from being a phenomenal stylist. He sure loves to remind us that he’s great, but actions speak louder than words. I do give him credit for having a vision and sticking to it. He’s an experienced stylist, as evidenced by his good time management skills. So, he obviously knows what he’s doing and I applaud that. His biggest problem on the show was that he approached almost every challenge like it was business as usual. It just seemed like he was styling some random clients hair at some salon. He never wowed the judges (or the viewers). I never got the sense that he wanted to improve. He was pretty satisfied with everything he did. And that was his downfall.

Ben


Oh, Ben. Sweet, Ben. First, let me just say that I like Ben. In fact, I’m kind of happy that he’s made it this far. His family must be thrilled. He’s just a sweet person, and I’m sure Bravo viewers are tickled pink that he made it to the final. It’s always nice when good things happen to good people. Ok, now it’s time to break this down objectively (no heart, just brains!). Ben is by far the luckiest person in the competition. He’s created some of the worst styles and he’s still around. Why? Well, he’s one lucky guy; there was always someone—just one person—who sucked just a little bit more. Now, to be fair, Ben has some great qualities. For example, like Tabatha, he prefers styles that have a hard-edge. He’s also like a sponge; show him something once and he'll emulate it perfectly. He’s very observant and eager to please his clients (and the judges). That’s important! Ben’s biggest problem is his lack of experience. He tends to take a passive approach when it comes to working with other people. But his biggest weakness is his lack of vision. Michael Kors and Nina Garcia once described the winner of the first season of project runway, Jay McCarroll, as having an innate creativity. Ben, on the other hand, seems to lack this innate creativity. He’s good at emulating others, but he seems to work with no direction in mind. Sometimes that works, but most of the time it just doesn’t. He needs to stop looking for guidance from other people and start thinking for himself.

Anthony


Anthony is another nice guy. Actually, they’re all really nice people. It’s enough to make any normal person sick. I’m just kidding. Remember . . .good things . . . good people. Anyway, Anthony is the most experienced of the three remaining stylists. But his biggest asset is his versatility. Yes, he can create beautiful styles, but he’s also capable of creating styles that are somewhat edgy and “fashion forward.” Honestly, that alone makes him the front-runner. I also like the fact that he works with a clear direction in mind. He seems to have vision. However, it’s not going to be a walk in the park for Anthony. His styles always seem to lack something, and that can be a problem. What good is vision if you can’t deliver the final product! I’m sorry, but approximations aren’t going to guarantee you the win; just ask Tabatha.

Daisy


I think everyone in the blogosphere wants Daisy to win. Yes, my heart also belongs to Daisy (aka the Hialeah Sound Machine). From the moment Daisy looks at her client’s hair, her brain, hands, and mouth just go crazy. She’s a woman on a mission. I just love watching her work. She describes what she plans to do and then starts moving at a pace that even the road runner would envy. Like Anthony, Daisy has vision and then some. The one thing about Daisy I love is that most of her styles just look . . . complete. And that’s very satisfying. She creates some very nice styles, as well as some styles that are just amazing—she and Anthony hit a home run in the bridal hair challenge. However, for the most part, her styles just don’t seem good enough to be in the types of fashion magazines that Sally and Michael Carl probably swear by. And we all know that Sally hates it when people play it safe. Daisy needs to keep that in mind if she wants to win.

Now, let’s talk about the judges.


Sally Hershberger

Sally is the easiest to read. She’s like an open book. I have a feeling she’s rooting for Ben. Remember, Ben now knows how to do the shag, and, of course, Sally noticed. Sally is all about being edgy and cool, and Ben is one cool guy. So, he gets extra points for that. Ben also has another thing going for him; he never plays it safe. He doesn’t know how to. Seriously, if you lack vision and direction, it’s hard to create something that’s nice and . . . safe. He usually ends up creating crap or something edgy and very rock star-ish. So, I think if lady luck is on Ben’s side, he’ll win Sally’s vote. Anthony can also pull through and earn Sally’s respect and support. He just needs to wow the judges for a change. Daisy is probably Sally’s least favorite of the three. She’ll need to create a work of art or the other two will have to create crap on a head in order to win Sally’s vote. Let’s face it; in Sally’s world, Daisy always seems to play it safe!

Michael Carl

Ok, Michael Carl isn’t an open book. Actually, one thing seems very clear: Ben’s not on his good side. While everyone was raving about Ben’s hair last week, Michael provided the dissenting voice. Interesting. If I had to guess, I’d say that Ben is his least favorite of the three. He seems to like Daisy a lot, but I’m going to guess that Anthony’s versatility will win him over. However, if Anthony fails to really deliver, Daisy’s professionalism and ability to create a finished look may guarantee her the win.

Jaclyn Smith

Ok, I need help with this one. I don’t know what’s going on in Jackie’s head. I suspect she’s not Ben’s biggest fan, although she does seem to enjoy his fun personality. Whether or not she prefers Daisy over Anthony is hard to tell. If I had to guess, I’d say she’s rooting for Daisy, who is professional and consistently performs well. However, Anthony is also talented, and I can totally see him creating a style that could easily please the beautiful former Angel.

So, I’ll conclude by saying that I have no idea what to expect on Wednesday. By the way, if you disagree with my reasoning here, please let me know. Anyway, if Ben manages to pull himself together and create a style that’s original and hard-edged, then he will probably win Sally’s support and everything else will fall into place for him. Anthony needs to show the judges that he’s the most versatile of the three. He can win this thing by actually creating something that looks finished. Approximations just aren’t going to cut it anymore. Daisy, of course, has what it takes to win. However, her win will be highly dependent on Ben’s luck and Anthony’s performance. She’s been very consistent thus far, and I don’t know if she can actually do any better. It truly is anyone’s game.

Shear Genius: Life after Tabatha

A month ago, I was ranting and raving about how much I loved Tabatha Coffey. Some of you must have thought I was high on LSD or something. Well, no, I wasn’t. My drug of choice is caffeine, if you must know. Yeah, I went nuts—I posted a picture of Olivia Newton-John, a kangaroo, and even a dingo. It was a celebration of Australia, really.



Anyway, Tabs looked great on the reunion special. She was all smiles. She even acknowledged Tyson’s presence—she actually touched his leg. And Tyson looked kinda cute. Sally just loved his new look. Speaking of the evil leprechaun, the whole mother thing was . . . interesting. Someone really needs to cut the umbilical cord. Now, I’m also close to my mother, but not THAT close. Also, for those of you who felt bad for Tyson, consider Dana’s comment during the reunion special. She said,

He Kind of set himself for that, though, he really did . . . He was trying to manipulate each of us, I felt.

Evangelin added, “I think we all feel that way.” Hm, suddenly Tabs doesn’t look so bad. Tyson is one sly little devil. He wanted extra air time. Mission accomplished! He’s like the (smarter) male version of Wendy Pepper. It’s all about strategy with those two.



Now, after watching the reunion special, I am pleased to say that I love Bravo viewers. When Dr. Boogie’s object of desire, the gorgeous Rene Fris, handed Tabs that huge check for $10,000, I was relieved. She is officially the Fan Favorite for this season of Shear Genius. That’s like music to my ears. I liked her answer to Andy Cohen’s question, “are you surprised?” She replied,

I’m totally surprised. I can’t believe it. People, I guess, like a bitch.

Yes, Tabs, we love you. We really do. Anyway, if you love or loathe Tabatha, you should take the Tabatha quiz over at the Bravissimo Blog. Let your voice be heard! Sadly, Tabs is no longer in the competition. So, with great sorrow, we leave behind the woman from the great country of Australia. It was fun while it lasted. Now, I need a new stylist to support. I thought about supporting Ben, the rocker from Illinois, but I’ve got (major) issues with him. He’s a nice guy, and I like him, but his talent is questionable. Or maybe the editors are just messing with my head. More on that later. And although I’m a bit of an anglophile, Anthony just doesn’t cut it for me. So, that leaves one person: the Hialeah Sound Machine (aka Daisy). Yep, the woman from South Florida, the home of the controversial “hanging chad,” is my new favorite stylist. She deserves this honor. She’s been getting better and better with each passing episode. Her talent is undeniable. And she just seems like such a sweet person.



I thought about dedicating a whole post to Daisy—celebrating all that is great about South Florida. You know, throw in pictures of Gloria Estafan and some of those (loud) women on Sabado Gigante. Well, it’s not going to happen. Honestly, I wish I could say I’m as excited as Evangelin with a pair of hedge clippers. But I’m not. Anyway, I think almost everyone who blogs (or comments) about Shear Genius is rooting for Daisy, which is nice. As I said before, she deserves to win. I wish her the best.

Workout Reunion Special: Cause for Pause

First, I have to acknowledge that I’ve been neglecting to write about the Workout reunion special. Charlus over at Amuse Biatch would liken this type of behavior to child neglect. However, this child—the world of Jackie’s Sky Sport and Spa—is far from vulnerable and defenseless. Jackie Warner and her trainers have chiseled bodies and (very) healthy egos. Let’s just say these kiddies don’t need, nor do they want, any type of parental figure watching over them. Anyway, at the beginning of the reunion special, Andy Cohen asked Jackie an interesting question,

“When you watched your relationship with Mimi on the show last season, did it give you cause for pause?”

"Jackie responded, “Yes . . . the camera is a mirror."

So much happened on the show this season; seriously, we paused more times than I can remember. This season had it all—the good and the bad.



Reunions are usually supposed to be . . . warm and fuzzy. Of course, you’ll always have some obnoxious person who tries his or her best to spoil a lovely evening, but, for the most part, people are just happy to see old friends and acquaintances. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen here. As others have pointed out, Jackie appeared very distant and a bit stand-offish. She seemed somewhat indifferent to the fact that her trainers (friends?) were in the studio. Very interesting!



The one thing that really caught my attention was Jackie’s response to the “Jackie Gone Wild” clip. Andy mentioned that some straight women seem to be attracted to Jackie, and he asked her how she felt about that. Jesse offered the word powerful. And, without hesitation, Jackie agreed and added, “extremely powerful.” Is the addition of that adverb really necessary? We get the picture—making out and having sex with women left and right makes you feel POWERFUL (and adding the adverb extremely is just asking for trouble)! What exactly did she mean? Are women prizes to be won? A type of currency? Another notch on the proverbial belt? Who knows! To be honest, I shouldn’t really judge; I’m guilty of posting pictures of hot men and gorgeous women. Let’s face it; attractive people are fun to look at. I just find it interesting that Jackie would use that phrase to describe her feelings about women. Maybe that explains her odd behavior during the reunion special? Her brain must be masculinized to the point where forming strong relationships with others is close to impossible. I feel bad for Rebecca.





Clearly, I’m a huge fan of this show for various reasons. Although I don’t always agree with Jackie, I admire her strong work ethic and success. She is a smart business woman who knows what she wants and works hard to get it. She’s a great role model for gay men and women everywhere. Doug was also one of my favorites. Yeah, at first, I was seduced by his looks, but it became clear that he was more than just a pretty face with big muscles—he was a kind, gentle soul who reached out to others. While Jackie was busy adding more notches to her belt, Doug was offering hugs and advice to friends and clients in need. Allison over at Reality at Bravo thinks that focusing on Doug’s death was not respectful. I understand where she’s coming from. Using a tragedy like this for ratings is deplorable. However, I think the producers handled the whole situation very well. In fact, I was very pleased they shared glimpses of his life with us. He was a great human being. I’m not going to lie; Jesse ruffled my feathers from time to time. But, there’s a little place in my heart for Jesse Brune. He’s such a cutie. Sure, he’s often judgmental, at times immature and impulsive; but I think he’s a good person. Remember, no one’s perfect. At least Jesse is cognizant of his behavior, and that earns him extra points in my book.



Brian Peeler had me at hello. This southern hunk may suffer from occasional delusions of grandeur, but he has a beautiful heart. His love for Doug was truly touching. I guess there’s hope for straight men after all.

Shear Genius: Here Comes the Shock

I’m still recovering from this episode of Shear Genius. Yeah, my worst nightmare came true: Tabatha was eliminated. Well, I guess I’ll just have to deal with it and move on. To be honest, she was asking for it. She essentially gave the judges every reason to eliminate her and Tyson. She exchanged few words with Tyson during the elimination challenge, and this lack of communication cost them dearly. Sometimes you have to work with people you don’t like; that’s just the way it goes. I’m a little shocked that Ben has made it this far; he needs to thank his lucky stars. Anyway, at first, I wasn’t pleased with the decision to eliminate two very talented stylists. Seriously, Tyson and Tabatha had been doing very well up to this point. However, the decision to eliminate them actually makes sense; the judges were evaluating group performance on the task at hand. They could have kept Tabatha and Tyson around for another episode—that would have ensured more drama, a producer’s dream. But, instead, they chose to eliminate the weakest team for this challenge. Good call!



I have to write about Sally Hershberger. She’s a fascinating woman. She’s always on cool mode. Remember, she created that famous shag cut. And how cool is that? Anyway, she rarely smiles and shows signs of flat affect from time to time. Usually, that’s a bad thing, but in cool town, that’s appropriate behavior. In this episode, Tabatha went on and on and on . . . about Tyson (stupid move). Sally’s face lit up like a kid in a candy store. She had broken out of her shell. The girl loves a little drama. She’s human after all.



Well, that’s all for now. I have lots more to say about this episode of Shear Genius, as well as the Workout Reunion Special. More about that later.

Workout #8: Season Finale

I find this image of Cheo and Brian Peeler very comforting. Brian had just told Cheo about a hummingbird that had landed on his hand a few days before Doug's memorial. That little bird represented the memory of Doug. “I’ll probably never find somebody like him in my entire life,” said Brian as he tried to fight the tears. Cheo couldn’t help it and started to cry. He instinctively approached Brian and both men embraced each other.



Brian has a strong personality, and he rubs people the wrong way. But from the very beginning, it was clear he had a lot of heart. Throughout this season, we saw him grow as a human being. I was moved by everything he had to say about Doug.



Jackie Warner and her trainers decided to have a memorial bike ride for Doug, who was passionate about cycling. They made their way to the beach and talked about their beloved friend, Doug Blasdell.



They all had stories tell. Doug was a great friend, a good listener, a gentle soul, and so much more. Even Jesse contributed some wonderful words, which was a pleasant surprise.



Listening to the trainers share their stories and watching the various clips of Doug reminds one of how fleeting life can be. But it also reminds one that life is a gift that should be enjoyed. Happiness is an emotional state that should never be taken for granted. Life doesn’t always make sense, but that shouldn’t stop us from enjoying every minute of it. Although I don’t think Jackie should date an employee, I can understand her desire to be with Rebecca. She seemed happy with Rebecca.



Helping a friend and others in need is another beautiful thing that can bring immense satisfaction to everyone involved. Jesse made every effort to help a friend, and that kind of emotional support is worth so much.



The episode ended on a high note. The Skylab participants had their final weigh-ins, and Jackie proudly announced that the group had done a phenomenal job. Sure, they lost weight, but I think the best reward was showing everyone how hard they were willing to work to achieve a goal. And that’s really what matters the most.



So, life is a journey that has ups and downs. We often complain about the bad and fail to appreciate the good. I think Doug was someone who tried to see the best in everyone and everything. I was very pleased that the producers decided to save the best for last. Doug’s compassion is truly inspirational.



The fine folks at Bravissimo have posted some wonderful pictures of Doug, as well as some very kind words. Click here to read their post.

Workout #7: Walking on Egg Shells

Well, the season finale of Bravo’s Workout is just around the corner. Before that time comes, I’d like to scrutinize last week’s episode of this cool reality show. As mentioned in a previous post, Jackie Warner decided to take a few days off to visit her mom, Karen, in Fairborn Ohio, and she left Brian in charge of the gym. Her goal was to reconnect with her mother. She also decided to accept an invitation to visit her old high school. Her good friend Erin traveled with her and provided much needed emotional support.



Jackie compared her relationship with her mother to walking on egg shells. She also discussed how uncomfortable she felt being back home. She described how hard it was being a gay teenager in a small town. As soon as Jackie arrived at her mother’s house, the mood of the show changed dramatically. There were a few scenes that focused on Karen. Unlike some of the trainers, she didn’t appear to crave attention. She discussed her relationship with her daughter, and those moments of candor were quite refreshing. It felt more like an unscripted documentary—just great!



Jackie, Erin, and Karen had an interesting conversation on their way to Jackie’s old high school. Karen mentioned that she had lived in California for a while, and Jackie said that she would have preferred growing up in that area (in Santa Monica, specifically). Erin made a great point, but “you’d be completely different!” Jackie agreed, “what formed me was my absolute drive to get out of this region.”



Jackie talked to a large group of students about growing up in Fairborn; she said that life was about reinvention. Her biggest point was that life is filled with second chances—great opportunities to start over. After Jackie’s talk, students approached her and asked for her autograph. And Karen watched with amazement as students lined up for a chance to meet Jackie. She later told Jackie how proud she was to see her (grown) child receiving this kind of attention; Jackie hugged her. It was such a special moment. The healing process had begun.



Jackie’s next challenge was to come to terms with her father’s death. She described how difficult it was to have a father who was mentally ill. She also said that she essentially tried to pretend that he didn’t exist. She made a bold move and went to her father’s gravesite. Her mother was by her side.



At the cemetery, Jackie and Karen talked about Jackie’s father. “He was a casualty of the Vietnam War”, said Karen. She described the funeral. Jackie realized that she had a lot in common with her mother. Sadly, we often fail to realize how similar we are to our parents, so it was nice to watch her acknowledge that.

Karen also made some other interesting comments about homosexuality. Karen mentioned that stressful pregnancies could contribute to homosexuality (that hasn’t been proven, of course). “So it is your fault,” joked Jackie; she was pleased that her mother had actually given thought to the potential causes of homosexuality. Karen went on to describe Jackie’s father. “He was crazy about you,” she said. Jackie started to cry. She hugged her mother and one gets the sense that mother and daughter were reconnecting. Mission accomplished!



Jackie’s trip to Fairborn was very emotional. I’m sure most viewers would agree. A major theme of this particular episode was the importance of family. We often take our parents and siblings for granted, and it’s easy to criticize or avoid our loved ones if they disagree with us. However, it takes real strength to communicate with family members and try to find some common ground; compromise isn’t a bad thing. Jackie’s experience also raises the issue of growing up gay in small town America. It is difficult; there’s not question about that. But as Jackie herself acknowledged, it made her who she is today. Life isn’t always easy. For many gay men and women, there are different obstacles and challenges that seem to stand in the way of success and happiness. This world can be cruel. However, these experiences serve an important purpose: they make us stronger.

Shear Genius: An Anglophile’s Dream

The United Kingdom of Great Britain (and Northern Ireland) was once the most powerful nation in the world. Starting in the age of discovery, the British Empire slowly but surely acquired a great deal of land and power in the Americas, Asia, and Africa. And although the UK no longer controls all of these territories, there’s no question these areas will forever be linked by a common thread—the English language and a shared cultural inheritance.

Shear Genius has inadvertently awakened a sleeping giant. Anglophiles all across America are probably glued to their televisions every Wednesday night. The question is: who shall be victorious?


Anthony represents the UK, and one would think he has the advantage. The UK is the birth place of Anglo-Saxon culture and the English language. However, the once great British Empire collapsed years ago. Anthony has done well thus far, but he hasn’t really impressed me all that much. We’ll see how this Brit performs next week.


Tabatha represents Australia. By now everyone should know that I want her to win. Yes, I’m a fan. She’s clearly the strongest competitor. She had some trouble with this recent elimination challenge, but it wasn’t a total disaster.


Danna represents South Africa. And she really surprised me today by winning both the quickfire and elimination challenges. She’s certainly one to watch. I also think she has the cutest accent.


Team America
For some strange reason, I’m starting to get a little patriotic. Don’t worry; I won’t start burning Dixie Chick CDs any time soon. I’ll just be cheering for Team America with a little more enthusiasm from now on. Our American brothers and sisters are a few years younger than their foreign competitors, which can be a disadvantage. And we all know that age usually correlates with experience. Last week the youngest stylists were sent home. I fear that Team America doesn’t stand a chance.


Tyson is the strongest American competitor. He’s been very consistent thus far and should make it to the final. The producers aren’t stupid—this whole Tyson vs. Tabatha thing is gold.


Daisy (aka the Hialeah Sound Machine) should be safe for the next few weeks. She’s done a good job and I can tell she’s talented. However, she needs to really step up to the plate if she wants to stay in the game. Also, she needs to stop talking and talking and talking. Tabatha can only take so much.


Ben is now one of the weakest contestants, which is a shame because I really like him. He pays close attention to what others have to say, and he’s a fast learner. He also has that rebellious edge, which, if used effectively, can impress the judges. Remember, the judges don’t want people to play it safe. And Ben strikes me as the type of guy who doesn’t conform. Also, Tabatha thinks he’s very cool, and I totally agree.


Dr. Boogie did well in this elimination challenge, and he sure knows how to sell his services. However, as the judges pointed out last week, he’s been playing it too safe for the past few weeks. I think he and Ben are the weakest contestants. We’ll see how far Boogie goes. He gets an A for good conduct in this episode.

So, the Americans, with the exception of Tyson, are in big trouble. Will they drop like flies? Who will be sent home next? Dr. Boogie? Ben? Or Daisy? Or maybe it’s too early to tell. As one of the judges said last week, nothing should be taken for granted.

I am, of course, supporting Tabatha all the way, but there are little voices in my head that are singing the American National Anthem. I hope the Americans can pull it together.

Workout #7: Boys Will Be Boys

My goodness, there’s so much to blog about. A lot of stuff happened. I guess I’ll start by writing about the boys. Yes, in this episode of Workout, the producers did everything in their power to appeal to their gay male viewers. I love Bravo!

I’ll start by discussing Brian Peeler. I’m not going to lie; I like Southern men, and this hottie from North Carolina gets me all worked up. Of course, no one’s perfect. Peeler’s arrogance seems to rub people the wrong way.



In this episode, Jackie decided to take a few days off to visit her mom (more on that later!) and she left Brian in charge of the gym. I know what you’re thinking. Is this woman crazy? Maybe she is. Anyway, Brian appeared happier than Anderson Cooper at a Scissor Sister’s concert. It was cute and annoying, all at the same time.



Brian immediately changed his behavior—as do most men who are given some degree of power; he spent most of his time walking around the gym trying to look important (or sleeping in Jackie’s office). The women were a little taken aback by Jackie’s decision to leave him in charge. I loved Erika’s reaction to Peeler’s sudden change in behavior:

“Are you bored? And why are you lurking all over the gym?”

Good one, Erika! Good one! Surprisingly, Rebecca also delivered a few great lines. She said,

“if I had a bad child, I’d put them in charge a lot because something about being in charge makes you rise to the occasion. And you’re not as acting out . . . it’s like reverse psychology.”

Rebecca gets extra points for using her noggin, which is always a good thing.



Now, on to Jesse. He’s becoming one of my favorite trainers, and he never disappoints. In this episode, he was introduced to a client who happened to be a male “model.” Jesse was more than happy to take on this client, and he added a new title to his growing list of titles and accolades. In addition to being the Lesbian Whisperer, he is now the Cardio King. This guy kills me!



So, his client eventually showed up wearing a tight black muscle shirt with the word COLT printed across the chest area. I couldn’t stop laughing when Jesse asked him what that meant. Oh, Jesse, you’re not fooling anyone. You know good and well what that stands for.



His new client explained that COLT was a studio that specializes in erotic entertainment (for gay men). And a few minutes after explaining this, he decided to take off his shirt. Jesse looked a little flustered, and his client noticed. That whole segment looked like something straight out of a COLT “film.” I loved when Jesse asked him for some photos.

After their hot workout, the guys had coffee at a nearby coffee shop. The “model” switched from porn stud mode to serious (gay man on a mission) mode. He talked about the difficulties gay men and lesbians face in the military. Jesse admitted that he had no clue what it was like to be in that kind of situation. And I think it’s great that this guy used his 15 minutes to talk about an issue that’s affecting many people in our community. I think it’s safe to assume he’s not a Republican, and thank goodness because I was starting to worry that all gay porn stars support the Republican Party. Thanks a lot Matt Sanchez.



The last few minutes of the show were really emotional. The group reacted to the sad news that one of their own, Doug, was not recovering from his illness; he was actually getting worse. All hope seemed lost; and we all know that there's no happy ending. I was really touched by Brian’s reaction. You could tell that he cherished his relationship with Doug. And I think it shows great character when a (straight) man let’s his guard down like that. He cried. Some may say that crying is a sign of weakness. My grandfather used to say that men don’t cry. Well, I think he and others who believe that are wrong. Sometimes we need to cry. It’s an often misunderstood part of our emotional repertoire. Extreme sadness and helplessness can be detrimental to our well being, but crying serves an important function. It’s a normal reaction to sad news. It’s part of our coping strategy. And it’s a beautiful thing. As I watched the trainers react to the sad news, their tears made one thing very clear: Doug Blasdell was a great human being, and he we will be missed.

A Gold Star for Tabatha

One can only imagine what it was like the day Tabatha, one of the stylists on Shear Genius, was born in the city of Surfers Paradise, Australia. She probably developed at an unusually fast pace and hated other children her age. Poor Tabatha probably grew up hearing her mother say the same phrase day after day: “stop making the other school children cry.” It must have been hard growing up with an ego the size of neighboring New Zealand.

Tabatha eventually left Australia and ended up in . . . New Jersey? Hm, yes, that appears to be the case (according to tvbuddy.com). Anyway, Tabatha currently owns a salon and travels all over the world as a stylist for Joico International. She had it all, but Tabatha wanted more. As mentioned before, she is a stylist on Bravo’s new reality show Shear Genius.

Now, I don’t have to preach to the choir. Tabatha is a force to be reckoned with. Tyson, that silly, silly man, tried to bring her down, but he did not succeed. Tabatha laughs in the face of danger. She doesn’t seem to experience basic emotions like compassion and fear. No. She is a diva! Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to announce that Tabatha has earned a gold star and the title of “coolest Australian on American reality television.” Here at Blog by Cosmo Marius, a gold star is reserved for all that is great in this world. Congratulations, Tabatha. You deserve this recognition and more.



Before moving on, please note that Tabatha is not deformed. I repeat, she is not deformed. I inadvertently erased one of her ears. Sorry, I'm still learning how to use photoshop. Anyway, my dearest Tabatha, there’s more. Please accept the adulation from your compatriots.


Olivia Newton-John, you must bow down to the great diva. And, yes, “she’s the one that you want.”


Hugh Jackman, you, too, must bow down . . . and feel free to take off your shirt at any time. That type of behavior is encouraged here at Blog by Cosmo Marius.


Nicole Kidman, you know the routine; please bow down . . . and maybe you can learn a thing or two from Tabatha.


Paul Hogan, please take off your hat and bow down . . . Hm, I wonder what Paul Hogan is up to these days.


I want to make it clear that no creature is exempt. Even the notorious dingo must bow down . . .


All the kangaroos that roam the great Australian continent must also bow down . . .


The adorable koala must also bow down . . . Seriously, how cute are these little guys?

Ok, I think you get the picture: I want Tabatha to win! I’ll conclude this ass kissing session with a picture of Tabatha. She’s one tough cookie, and that’s why I like her.



Give ‘em hell, Tabatha.

Workout #6: The Cyclic Nature of Jesse Brune

Oh, Jesse, I just don’t know where to begin with this man. He really pissed me off last week. Actually, he didn’t. I’m kind of like Matt Lorenz. I’ll say that I’m emotionally aroused, but my autonomic nervous system is totally chill. So, I guess I was bothered by his actions last week. Yes, that’s more like it.

Anyway, last week he called Rebecca a whore. Now, I’m not Rebecca’s biggest fan. She annoys me at times. What bothers me is that Jesse should know better; most gay men should know better. I’ll give him credit for calling her a whore to her face, but the guy needs to calm down and think before speaking. How would he feel if someone called him a fag? I think it’s the same exact thing. It’s just not cool.



In this episode, Jesse approached Rebecca and apologized for his actions. The two little devils hugged and had a Kodak moment, and we’re left to wonder whether this interaction was really genuine. This is reality TV land after all. Anyway, I’m glad they at least talked about it and appear to be moving on.



It’s also interesting that Jesse is becoming very predictable. His behavior follows a cycle that seems to occur every few episodes.

1. The Event: the cycle starts with some event. For example, Doug made some comment about Jesse in an interview with Afterellen.com. Jesse was furious. He ignored poor Doug for weeks. More recently, Jackie started messing around with Rebecca, and that really got to Jesse.

2. Drama: this is Jesse’s forte. The boy loves to stir up trouble. And he lets people know what’s on his mind.

3. Resolution stage: Jesse usually cools down and eventually resolves any interpersonal problems. He did it with Doug. And how cute was Doug when he said to Jesse—you wanna go home with me? Oh, that was just a golden moment. Nothing says I forgive you like a good shag. And, more recently, Jesse made amends with Rebecca. And so ended another cycle. Now, I know most things in life follow this same kind of pattern, but no one does it like Jesse. The boy knows how to work it for the camera.

The end of one cycle can only mean one thing: another is just waiting to spring into action. It almost seems too perfect, almost contrived. I wonder who’s next. I’m not good at making predictions. Maybe Jesse will butt heads with Brian. Who knows? I guess we’ll have to stay tuned to find out.

Workout #6: A Day in the Life of Erika Jacobson

In this episode, Jackie received a phone call from some agency that was interested in Erika, one of the Sky Sport trainers. They heard that she looked a lot like Angelina Jolie, and they wanted to schedule a photo session with Erika to see if she lived up to all the hype. I assume she did.



Let me just say, Erika is hot. There’s no question about that. The Brad Pitt look-alike they hired didn’t look anything like the real Brad. So that was interesting.



Here are some pictures of Erika and Angelina. Sure, they look very similar. They’re both very attractive women. And those lips—wow! But I’m not sure if I’d say that Erika is an Angelina Jolie look-alike. There is, however, a very strong resemblance.






And I'll conclude this post with a picture of Angelina, just because. Beautiful!

Rene Fris is One Hot Scandinavian Man

I present to you the gorgeous Rene Fris. According to tvbuddy.com, Rene moved from Denmark to New York City in 1999. He's worked for some of the best salons in the country. And the rest, as they say, is history. He's currently the salon director (and judge) on Bravo's new reality show Shear Genius. As you can probably tell, I heart Rene. A lot! Oh, and how cute does he look in that Karate uniform? So butch! Hot!

Workout #5: Steak vs. French Fries

I’ve said before that I don’t approve of Jackie’s relationship with Rebecca. I just don’t think it’s ethical. Of course, this is reality TV, and this kind of stuff entertains us and gives us something to talk (and blog) about. In this episode, Jackie and Rebecca had dinner at a nice restaurant and discussed various things like Jackie’s relationship with Tiffany. “Do you love her,” asked Rebecca at one point. Jackie replied that she cared for Tiffany. Rebecca claimed that she wasn't a possessive person and simply enjoyed spending time with Jackie. However, if Rebecca is developing feelings for Jackie, shouldn’t it bug her that Jackie is dating other people? The women flirted with each other for a while; Jackie called her a tree monkey; and they eventually rushed to Jackie’s place to have dessert.



At Jackie’s place, the women tried their very best to make fondue. Let’s just say things didn’t work out. Anyway, Rebecca’s a girl who doesn’t beat around the bush. “We should get in bed and watch a movie,” she said to Jackie. It’s not even her house, but she clearly felt comfortable enough to make such a bold suggestion. Jackie smiled like a school girl and agreed. The girls retired to Jackie’s room where, one assumes, they played slap and tickle. Rebecca says the cutest things.



I was quite amused by Rebecca’s comments about her interest in Jackie. She tried to explain her (sexual) feelings for Jackie by comparing them to her feelings for men. She said that being with a man is like eating steak, while being with Jackie is like eating french fries. I love this woman’s use of similes. Now, I’m not sure exactly what she meant. Steak, of course, is made up of proteins. French fried potatoes are made up of carbohydrates. Our bodies need both proteins and carbs; it's not like people only depend on one or the other (not usually). Most normal people eat both. Maybe she was referring to the fact that they taste different, but how does that relate to sexual attraction? Who knows. Anyway, let's just play along with Rebecca. She clearly prefers protein, but I wonder why she’s all of sudden interested in carbohydrates. I, as well as other bloggers, have suggested that she just wants attention. We’ll have to wait and see where this relationship goes.

Workout #4: The Lesbian Whisperer

Cesar Milan, The Dog Whisperer, is quite adept at understanding what makes a dog tick. He’s not merely a dog trainer—he’s a dog psychologist, so to speak. In the recent episode of Workout, Jesse gave himself a new title. He is now the Lesbian Whisperer. I’m not sure exactly what that means; I assume he considers himself an authority on all things Lesbian.



Last week, Jesse was visibly upset at that sight of Jackie and Rebecca swapping fluids. The group was gathered at some restaurant and he kind of made a scene; he ended up leaving early. Andre and Brian were also taken aback by Jackie’s behavior.




Things got interesting when Jackie’s other woman, Tiffany, showed up. Rebecca seemed uncomfortable about the whole situation, and one has to wonder what was going through Jackie’s mind. I love Jackie, but I think she could have been more considerate. She didn’t seem at all concerned.



Jesse, Brian, Andre and Gregg continued talking about Jackie the next day at work. I’d like to point out that Brian, Andre, and Gregg are straight. Who said straight men don’t like to gossip? These guys are worse than most women.



Jesse finally decided to confront Jackie about her behavior at the restaurant. “You can’t go around making out with girls in the bathroom; you’re not a drunk 16-year-old girl,” he told her. Jackie explained that she just wanted to have a little fun, which makes sense. She had been in a (bad) relationship for five years. Jesse then told her that lesbians cannot just casually date. He is the lesbian whisperer, so I guess he knows what he’s talking about. Jackie, of course, disagreed.

Jesse also mentioned that it’s not professional to date a coworker. Brian actually used the word unethical to describe the whole situation. Jackie argued that dating among coworkers is common place in their industry. She assured Jesse that she and Rebecca were going to be professional about the whole thing. I assume she meant that she was going to keep her personal life and professional life separate. Hm, something tells me that’s easier said than done. Honestly, I don’t think she should mess around with Rebecca. Jackie is Rebecca’s boss, and it’s just never a good idea to date a subordinate.

Andre was particularly upset at the fact that Jackie was courting two women at the same time. I think Rebecca is straight; she just seems to crave attention, and boy does she know how to get that attention. Tiffany appears to be bisexual, although she had never been with a woman before Jackie. It’s not clear what her intentions are. Andre’s response is really puzzling. Is it jealousy, as Jackie seemed to think? Yeah, it could be. I just find it really strange that he would react that way. Aren’t there other women in L.A.?



There’s tension between Rebecca and Jesse. It’s always been there, but things are going to get worse next week. After the whole Rebecca/Jackie thing died down, the gang meets to celebrate Erika’s (and Doug’s) birthday.





Before the birthday party, Doug shares more about his life with Cheo (and the viewers). We learn that both his parents died young; they didn’t make it to 43 years of age. Doug made a comment that was very disturbing, “this is the last time I’m having a birthday party.”





Moments later, Jackie received a phone call from Cheo informing her that Doug was very ill. He was in a drug-induced comma and, as we all know, he didn’t make it. Doug seemed like a really nice guy and a great representative of the LGBT community. Allison at Reality on Bravo believes that the producers treated the whole situation with total disrespect. I can understand her point. The whole time I kept imaging some heartless producer trying to put together various clips of Doug without really caring about Doug as a human being. There’s really no evidence to suggest that, but it is television and their goal is to entertain (and make money). I guess that’s just the way it is. Also, for more information about the Doug Blasdell Outreach Program, please click here. The link takes you to a new blog called Bravissimo, which covers Shear Genius and other reality TV shows. Anyway, it’s a sad day in reality TV land. Doug will be missed.

Workout: Episode #3 (Rubbing the Hooha)

Last week, things ended on a sour note. Jackie offended Brian, and he left her party very upset. Oh, Brian, you need to chill out.



In last night’s episode, he told Doug about his troubled childhood. Apparently, he has anger issues and he’s very emotional. Not a good combination. He has a great relationship with Doug, who he sees as a father figure. I love to see straight men bonding with gay men. That type of behavior should be encouraged! Anyway, Brian opens up to Jackie and she apologizes. They agree to move on. Good!





Jackie and Rebecca seem to be hanging out quite a bit. Their relationship is turning into more than just a great friendship. It’ll be interesting to see where they end up. I think Rebecca just likes the attention. And Jackie isn’t stupid. She’s probably just taking advantage of Rebecca’s need for attention.



Oh, the producers are bastards, and I love it. I get the sense that they haven’t told Gregg that Zen is no longer interested in him. And it doesn’t help that he can’t take a hint. Actually, I’ll bet you 5 dollars (maybe 10) that the producers are egging him on, “yeah, dude, she’s just playing hard to get. Chin up; she’ll be yours soon.” So, he told her that he had to go to court and could potentially go to jail for hitting some guy. He asked her to be there for emotional support. She offered him some good advice but didn’t seem that concerned. He wasn’t too pleased with her lack of support. Gregg, she’s not interested!



We also see another side of Zen. In addition to being a trainer, she’s a comedian. She invited the gang to watch her perform at the Laugh Factory. I loved Gregg’s comment about her performance; he said “everybody was expecting the worst; it was pretty funny.” Gregg sure knows how to woo a lady. I mean, what woman wouldn’t want a boyfriend who has no faith in her abilities. Actually, Zen shouldn’t quit her day job. She’s no comedian, but bless her little heart for trying.



Jackie decides to invite the gals over to her place for a “slumber party,” which is kind of strange. Jackie, your therapist recommended that you do something social with your friends, but I don’t think she meant to throw a slumber party with your coworkers. Actually, they are her employees. Right? Shouldn’t she draw the line somewhere? Anyway, it makes for great TV. Who cares about ethics in the workplace! What’s that anyway? This is reality TV land.





Jackie also invited some saleswoman to her house, but instead of selling Tupperware, she was selling lotions, lingerie, and sex toys. The woman introduced the girls to a product called Sensual Explosion. It’s some sort of lotion. Rebecca asked to try it, and she also asked Jackie to help her apply it on her, um, hooha (their word, not mine). Jackie didn’t hesitate. The gals went to the bathroom and rubbed this lotion on each others’ hoohas. The lovely Erika didn’t know what to make of the very sexual interaction between Jackie and Rebecca.





Things actually got hotter after Zen’s performance at the Laugh Factory. Jackie and Rebecca were all over each other, and everyone noticed.



No one was as shocked as Jesse. He confronted Jackie and asked her to explain why she and Rebecca were all of a sudden “doing it.” Jackie said that their relationship had been building up to this. Jesse was clearly bothered, and Jackie seemed surprised at his reaction. His biggest concern was that Jackie never told him about her relationship with Rebecca. I kind of understand why he was hurt, but Jackie doesn’t have to tell him about every aspect of her life. Jesse, you need to take a chill pill. Things will get interesting when Rebecca meets Tiffany. Stay tuned.

Workout: Kiss and Tell

Here are a few pictures of Jesse and Brian messing around in front of the camera. These boys sure know how to attract attention, but they are no match for Rebecca. Seriously, she asks her clients inappropriate questions while on the clock and flirts with her boss. That kind of behavior usually gets one fired in the real world. In reality TV land, the rules are quite different. Rebecca’s behavior is encouraged. Enjoy the show!

Workout Episode #2

After numerous attempts at saving her relationship with Mimi, Jackie sees the light and decides to end it. Finally!



Jackie’s new program, Sky Lab, starts to take form. She chooses a select group of clients to participate in a trial run. They’re essentially guinea pigs. Jackie talks to each client individually. It’s very clear that she really wants to help these people. And, of course, make some money in the process.



The tension between Doug and Jesse hasn’t abated. Doug wants to make amends but Jesse seems determined to avoid dealing with the issue. At one point, Jackie steps in and asks Jesse to resolve the issue. “The biggest priority for us right now is Sky Lab,” she reminds him.



The suits at Bravo sure know what they’re doing. They are courting the gay consumer (hardcore)—Project Runway, Six Feet Under, Top Design, and the list goes on. So, I shouldn’t have been surprised when I saw Jackie working with Kathy Griffin. A good friend of mine hates her, but I and many gay men are devoted fans. Hmm, I wonder who’s next. Ellen? Margaret Cho? I hope it’s Rupert Everett. Yes, that would make me very happy.





Like a female dog in heat, Rebecca rushes to Jackie’s house to talk about Jackie’s recent breakup. She tells Jackie that she has hooked up with a girl before but feels really uncomfortable with the female body. She describes herself as a dude with no game when it comes to women. The conversation gets even better when she says, “give me a penis and I could do that all day.” Oh, Rebecca, I think you have a bright future in the world of reality TV.



Jesse is the show’s self-proclaimed “fat kid.” I’ve been really hard on Jesse for not being as fit as possible, but now I kind of feel bad for him. The look on his face when Jackie announced that he had 21.3% body fat was heartbreaking. I hope he gets with the program. I’m rooting for you, Jesse.



Jackie decides to throw a party at her new house in the Hollywood Hills. All the trainers are there and seem to be having a blast. Rebecca feels the need to tell everyone that she’s wearing a bra. She’s quite a character. After a few drinks, Jackie starts getting all touchy feely with some Russian woman. Look out L.A., Jackie’s single and ready to have some fun.



Now, I have to mention the conversation between Jesse and Doug. Yes! So, Jesse asks Doug to step outside for a bit and the two have a much needed heart to heart discussion. And Jesse finally decides to forgive Doug. Who wouldn’t forgive Doug with those puppy dog eyes? He’s such a cutie. Good job, Jesse.

After the boys have a wonderful bonding experience, things get interesting. Doug switches to horn dog mode. “You want to go home with me,” he asks Jesse a few minutes later. Jesse hesitates a bit and finally replies, “No!” Doug’s response to that was hilarious. First, he says that he is trying to flirt with Jesse. Then, he claims that he’s just joking. I almost fell off my chair when he asked one last time, “are you sure?” The scene ends with Doug asking Jesse whether he’s a top or a bottom. Jesse, we’re still waiting for an awer.



Meanwhile, back in the house, there’s a clash between Brian and Jackie. Man, those two really don’t like each other. Brian decides to leave the party early, and you better believe he has something up his sleeve. Things are going to get ugly.



Rebecca finds her way into Jackie’s arms. What’s the deal? I guess she’s just looking for attention. Jackie insists that she’s a good girl and would never pursue anything with Rebecca. Oh, Jackie, please be careful. You don’t need more drama in your life. Have your fun with a straight girl, if you must, but don’t let your guard down.

Six Feet Under: The Last Episode

I love watching reruns of Six Feet Under on Bravo. Last night’s episode was really depressing. Ruth and David were both dealing with Nate’s death. Ruth was particularly upset about not being able to keep Maya. Frances Conroy, who plays Ruth, does a wonderful job of bringing this character to life. Ruth is my favorite member of the Fisher family.



I think Lauren Ambrose is amazing as Claire Fisher, but I’ve always been ambivalent about the character. I admired Claire’s rebellious impulses but never quite liked how unreasonable she could be. Last night I saw a different Claire, a more mature young woman. What a great way to end a show. Watching her drive away from the Fisher house was very emotional. And as she drove down the freeway, we saw glimpses of the future—of her family members dying. Death, after all, was a major part of the show, and it reminds us that death is a reality we all have to face sooner or later. However, before that times comes, I plan to enjoy life to the fullest and love as passionately as possible, just like Claire Fisher.

Casting for Project Runway 4 Starts Next Week

Casting for Season 4 of our beloved “Project Runway” starts a week from today in Miami and is scheduled to conclude on Saturday, April 7th in the big apple. How exciting! The application is so long, which isn’t surprising. I just can’t imagine someone like Santino having the patience to actually read the whole thing. He probably didn’t. All selected participants must undergo a psychological and physical examination. I wonder if the producers intentionally select people who are unstable. Does anyone remember Guadalupe Vidal? The poor girl left Tim Gunn speechless. Actually, I thought it was cute that she had something positive to say about Johnny Cash. That’s a very cool thing, but I have no idea what she was talking about.

Workout 2 Premiere: 100% Drama

The Season 2 premiere of Workout did not disappoint. As expected, there was a lot of drama. Within the first few minutes, Jackie Warner mentions that she has a new house in the Hollywood Hills. She also talks about Sky Lab, a new branch of Sky Sport and Spa. Her mission is to create a program that will help people lose weight. Jackie loves helping people, and that’s why the world loves her. Then, she mentions her (sick) relationship with Mimi. Oh, I can’t believe my ears. What is she still doing with that crazy woman? I think Laz may be right; Bravo is probably paying Jackie to keep Mimi around. This woman needs to just disappear!



Then it’s off to the beach. Jackie forces her trainers to participate in a “mini” boot camp. “Shirts off,” she yells at her less than enthusiastic staff. Jesse looks at her with contempt and slowly takes off his shirt. Why the hesitation? Well, his body reminds me of the Pillsbury Doe Boy. I can see why he would feel uncomfortable running around the beach alongside Brian and Doug, who are both HOT. Fortunately, Jesse claims to be “gay chubby.” It’s no big deal. Right? Earth to Jesse, you work for Jackie Warner; we expect you to have the body of a Greek God. Rebecca adds more negativity by bitching the whole time. Jackie was disappointed. I love when she snapped at Rebecca, “you’re bored the moment you get out of bed and the moment you go to sleep.” “I need constant stimulation,” Rebecca complains. Jackie responds with “life isn’t about constant stimulation.” You go, Jackie!

Gregg makes it clear that he is still interested in Zenn, but she’s not feeling the love. She’s 12 years his senior. Zenn knows better; younger men are fickle and horny—that’s a dangerous combination. Ellen K., Jesse’s new best friend, tells Jackie that Jesse loves to eat cookies and junk food. No one is surprised. Again, Earth to Jesse, you’re going to get fired if you don’t get with the program. Actually, Jackie is too sweet; she would never do that. I suggest she demote him to receptionist, or, better yet, have him clean toilets. Maybe that will teach him a lesson.



We see a touching scene between Doug and his ex-boyfriend, Cheo Useche, who suffers from Kidney failure. The goal is to get Cheo into tip top shape; hopefully, the kidney transplant will go well. It was quite moving watching Doug and Cheo sparring for a few minutes. They end the scene with a hug and a few tears.



There’s friction between Doug and Jesse. Apparently, it all started when Doug referred to Jesse as “Jack on Will and Grace” in an interview. Brian agrees. By the way, I think Brian is HOT. He just needs to stop saying “these are the hands of Michelangelo.” Brian, please shut up!



Things heat up at a silent auction for the L.A. Gay and Lesbian Center. Jesse confronts Doug, and Doug insists that his comment was misconstrued. Ok, I like Doug, and I think he’s a hunk, but, come on, it’s clear that he was taking a shot at Jesse. However, Jesse is no angel; maybe he got a taste of his own medicine. Jackie isn’t pleased and wishes the guys would just grow up and get over this. The group moves on to the dinner, and Jackie is recognized for being a great gay role model. L.A. loves you, Jackie!




Then it’s off to couple’s therapy. Ok, this is getting really old. Mimi is so defensive and doesn’t seem to think that her behavior is problematic. Wow, this woman has issues.



Jackie and Mimi argue for a few minutes, and Jackie has a little breakdown. Mimi shows signs of empathy when she see’s her partner in tears, but that's short lived and the women continue to bicker. It proves too much for Mimi, and she just walks out. Jackie turns to the therapist and says, “I’m so sick of it.” The therapist responds, “why are you in it?” Good question.



The problem between Doug and Jesse is a good example of how gay culture (and the gay community) is going through so many changes. On the surface, it seems to be an issue of butch vs. fem. I think the problem is more complex. Finally, there’s a glimmer of hope for Jackie. It appears that she may be moving on. Mimi may be replaced by Rebecca. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing, but, at least Jackie is trying.

Focus: Real Housewives of the OC

So I watched the Real Housewives of Orange County Reunion Special. Why? I have no idea. Actually, I love watching “real” people interacting in contrived or staged situations. Kristin Cavallari claims that she and other reality show participants are really just actors. Kristin, I have news for you. You are not an actor. You entertain us, but that doesn’t make you an actor. The women of the OC had some good times (and bad times). However, for the most part, they lead pretty shallow lives, which is fine. As they say, different strokes for different folks.



I think Jo De La Rosa needs to grow up. She gets on my nerves sometimes, but she’s still young and it’s a free country. She can do whatever her little Latin heart desires. I thought it was weird that one of her fashion idols is Hilary Duff. Obviously, she doesn’t read the Go Fug Yourself Blog. Lauri Waring mentioned that she liked Nicole Kidman; good call Lauri. I still can’t get over the fact that Lauri claims to be a republican without really knowing what that means. Seriously, who does that? Oh, Lauri, thanks for helping to perpetuate the stereotype of the dumb blonde. It makes for great television. I hope she and Josh can overcome their problems. I like Jeana Keough and her superior genes. I hope she can manage to save her marriage.



Vicki, Vicki, Vicki, where to begin. Well, for starters, she scares me. She’s a ticking time bomb. She clearly has control issues; we have that in common, but there’s one big difference between us—I’m not crazy. Fortunately, three (or more?) planets were aligned when she was born. She possesses an unlimited amount of energy. Is that a good thing? After learning this, Vicki felt vindicated. She seems to think that she is no longer a freak. Keep telling yourself that, Vicki.



Tammy Knickerbocker is sweet and harmless. She’s the one character who doesn’t ruffle my feathers too much. She can be a bit too passive at times, but I guess that's a personality trait that can't really be changed. I think she’s the prettiest one of the group.

Is there a lesson to be learned from the 2nd season of Real Housewives? Not really! I’ll conclude this post by agreeing with Jo’s statement. She said something about there being different interpretations of what a housewife should be. Jo, that’s so true. She also made it clear that they do not represent the average American housewife. You can say that again.