Kathy Griffin: Red-Headed Oprah

Entertaining Deviants (D-List 3, Episode 5)

This episode of My Life on the D-List has to be one of Kathy’s best. Actually, this episode kind of felt like two; in the first half, she hosted the Gay Adult Video Awards, while, in the second half, she performed for two groups of prison inmates.



The show started with Kathy getting ready for a blind date. Ok, it wasn’t really a blind date; she knew who she was going out with. She had just never met the guy before. Who was the lucky fella, you must be wondering? It was Mike “The Mouth” Matusow.

I know what you must be thinking. Mike has to be a gay porn star. Nope! He’s actually a professional poker player. They call him the “The Mouth” because he talks a lot of trash at the poker table. Also, this guy has no game. When asked if he was familiar with Kathy’s work, he clumsily admitted that he had no idea who Kathy was. Kathy was upstairs and heard the whole thing. Then what did the idiot do? He went upstairs and told Kathy he was a big fan. Kathy immediately responded, “I just heard you say that you knew nothing about me!”

Yeah, Mike has no clue how to treat a lady. He actually said the following to Kathy’s mom,

Mom, I’m gonna take care of her. If she gets on my nerves . . . [almost kicks Kathy’s mom] right where it goes. I ain’t gonna take nothing from her

Maggie, Kathy’s mom, looked concerned. This guy needs a serious makeover and an attitude adjustment. Where are the fab 5 when you really need them? Oh, and I suspect he has adult ADD. Seriously, the guy couldn't sit still for one second.

Of course, Kathy loves putting herself in awkward situations. Fortunately, that little clip of Kathy and Mike lasted only a few minutes. Next, Kathy prepared for the Gay Adult Video Awards. She enlisted the help of her (straight) friend Eric who also happens to be a comedy writer. Perfect!



Ok, what is Kathy doing dating guys like Mike (and Ron Jeremy) when a guy like Eric is just a phone call away? Now, I’m not going to lie; I think Eric is a cutie. Of course, he’s probably married. Or, he may be in denial. Let’s face it; Kathy is like a gay magnet. Even her ex-boyfriend turned out to be gay. Anyway, she and Eric discussed material for her Gay Porn Award’s gig. Also, Eric asked her if all gay porn guys were gay. Well, Eric, there is such a thing as gay for pay. Are you interested? I’m just kidding. I don’t pay for sex. I do, however, tip strippers. Hey, they’re performers. Don’t judge me!

Moving on. Kathy was like a kid in a candy store during the Award’s ceremony. She was running a little late for the red carpet, but she made it and everything went as scheduled. The crowd just loved her and she rocked. I was quite impressed by Chi Chi LaRue. It’s no wonder she’s one of the top gay porn director’s in the states and maybe even the world. She’s a no nonsense kind of drag queen.

Yes, there were hot men all over the place, and Kathy had them all worshiping her every move. It was an interesting night.



There were, of course, some big names present. Michael Brandon “Mr. Monster Dick” was there and presented a few awards. Now, I can’t help but wonder—who comes up with these names? I acknowledge that his porn name is completely appropriate, but is that the best they could come upt with? Whoever came up with that name has to be the laziest person in the adult entertainment industry. What’s next? Mr. Big Balls? Sadly, Michael has no stage presence. He was such a bore.

You know, I figured that porn stars and pornographers were shallow individuals who only cared about making money and having lots of sex. But, this episode was all about breaking down stereotypes. Actually, it reinforced some stereotypes, while challenging others. For example, one guy said the following,

As far as I am concerned, everyone one of you in the gay porn industry is doing God’s work

Amen! Ok, wait, who is this guy and what the hell was he talking about? I have no idea. However, he seemed really serious. Maybe he was talking about the importance of promoting gay male sexuality; or perhaps he was just praising his fellow pornographers for providing a service to the gay community. Of course, he could also be crazy. That’s a possibility if you consider that the words (gay) porn and God don’t belong in the same sentence.

And just when we thought things couldn’t get any stranger, some guy offered the following,

I need to thank the countries of Lebanon and Israel for being strong neighbors, and hopefully one day there will be peace there

I’m with Kathy; who knew? Seriously, people in the gay porn industry are just as concerned about important issues as the rest of us. Bless their hearts.



Savanna Sampson won the award for best non-sex performance. Apparently, this is really an “acting” award. Now, I don’t know who Savanna is, but I think I like her. She got on the stage, accepted her award, and didn’t look the least bit overcome with emotion. She was just there to have a good time. I’m sure Savanna knows her real place in the universe. And Tom’s reaction was priceless.

Finally . . . a female porn star

Yes, the event was a huge success for Kathy and she was given the very first Naked Swordsman Award. Nice! I wonder if she’ll be adding that to her resume.



The second half of the show had plenty of humor and fun, but it also offered a very serious topic—the reality of life behind bars. Kathy was touched by a group of female inmates who shared their life experiences with her. She held back the tears while talking to them, but the minute she stepped outside with her assistants, she couldn’t hold them back any longer. The best part was seeing the prisoners respond so positively to her performance. I was kind of expecting her to bomb, but she was a hit with both male and female inmates. Good for her.

For more information about My Life on the D-List and other Bravo shows, visit my friends over at the Bravissimo Blog and Reality on Bravo.

D-List 2 & 3: Lesbians, Strap-Ons, and Sad News

Last week, Kathy Griffin went on a faux date with Nick Carter, the Backstreet Boy and Wigger. I apologize if my use of this word offends anyone; I'm merely repeating what came out of Kathy's mouth. Yeah, so I still don't understand why she would even consider hanging out with Nick Carter. Damselfly over at the Bravissimo Blog noted that a lot of the scenes this season are too contrived. Of course, this is reality television, and that’s to be expected. However, some of the situations she gets herself into are just awkward (and boring). I’m sure Nick’s a nice guy, but he’s old news. I’d much rather see her hanging out with Rosie or some random gay person. How about her BFF Lance Bass?



I did, however, enjoy seeing her hang out with Rachel True. I haven’t seen Rachel in ages. She played Mary Jane in the hilarious movie Half Baked, and she also played a teen witch in the surprisingly effective film The Craft. Rachel was Kathy’s dating coach, and she shared some words of wisdom with our beloved comedienne.

Have fun and be comfortable. And push those tits up!

Rachel’s right; straight men love that! I find it funny that Rachel didn’t mention the important stuff—like, I don’t know . . . personality? Ok, that doesn’t make for good TV. It’s all about tits. Got it.

So, nothing of interest happened last week. Actually, I have to admit that Tom is growing on me. The guy really seems to be doing his job. I have to give credit to Ms. Place for believing in his potential. She was right. However, I still have no clue what Jessica and Tiffany are doing there. I’ve seen them write stuff down on note pads, and they help Kathy write emails. That’s it! Are they really necessary?



This week (episode 3), Kathy Griffin didn’t pull any punches. She aimed to please her gay viewers, and she succeeded. Yep, they finally showed Kathy working out with none other than Jackie Warner at SkySport and Spa. We knew it was coming, of course. But it was nice seeing Jackie again; I kind of miss her, actually.

We knew from a previous episode that Kathy was scheduled to perform on one of Rosie O’Donnell’s famous cruises. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking: LESBIANS! A lot of lesbians (and their children). And Kathy was determined to be a hit on that cruise. So, the main reason Kathy stopped by SkySport and Spa was to ask her new lesbian friend, Jackie, for some advice. Here’s what Jackie said about cracking a Lesbian audience,

Lesbians don’t like sexual references, but they love to talk about sex toys. I recommend you talk about every type of strap-on and vibrator.

Ok, so . . . if you want to be a hit with a Lesbian audience, then you should not make any sexual references. However, it’s ok to talk about sex toys. Hm, that makes no sense to me. Both topics have to do with sex. Whatever. We’ll just have to take Jackie’s word for it. Then, just when we thought things couldn’t get any gayer, Jackie introduced Kathy to Gage, a gay porn star. He should look familiar; he’s the guy who made Jesse sweat on the 7th episode of Workout. Yeah, Gage is a hunk, and Kathy was all over him.

One thing I love about Life on the D-List is that they show the business side of comedy. Kathy is such a hard worker. She rarely turns down a gig. We’ve seen her give flawless performances, but we’ve also seen her flop from time to time. That’s just the nature of the business. I have more to say about Kathy as a comedian, but I’ll save that for another post.



Ok, now let’s get to the sad stuff. I’m sure most of you noticed that my previous (Top Chef) post was a tad on the negative side. Well, I’m convinced that Bravo is just messing with my head. The last few episodes of Workout Season 2 were heartbreaking. Clay, the charming Southern boy on Top Chef 3, was eliminated last week. Well, this is the D-List episode we’ve all been dreading; yeah, Kathy was forced to deal with her father’s death. It just broke my heart that she wasn’t with him when he passed away. You know, the one thing I really enjoy about the D-List is watching Kathy discuss various things with her parents (Sean Hannity?). Hilarious! And it was great to see how supportive they were of her career choices. Well, it’s sad that Mr. Griffin is no longer with us. But, as they say, the show must go on.

D-List Season 3: Tears, Fun, And Lots Of Laughs

Can you hear that? Listen carefully. It’s the roaring sound of laughter, traveling through the gay and fabulous blogosphere; and the one person responsible for that is our very own Kathy Griffin. She’s a colorful character and a great comic. And she’s all about putting on a good show.



Kathy’s the type of person who elicits extreme emotional responses from people—some people love her, while others can’t stand the woman. I have a friend who cringes every time she hears Kathy’s voice. Fortunately, this blog is all about loving Ms. Griffin. However, Kathy isn’t free from the scrutinizing eye of Cosmo Marius. She’s fair game just like anyone else.

Anyway, in the first few minutes of the show, we’re introduced to her new staff. Jessica, her assistant, is still around. And there are two new faces, Tiffany and Tom. Tiffany is just there doing stuff, I guess, while Jessica is becoming a celebrity of sorts. Yeah, I don’t quite understand it. I’m sure her legions of admirers have their reasons. Actually, I think she’s kind of cute, but she’s still just . . . an assistant. Ok, now let’s turn our attention to Tom. For some reason, I’m not feeling this guy. Is he adding anything special to the show? I don’t think so. And I’m not amused by his clueless straight boy antics. I assume most Bravo viewers would agree. It just feels so contrived—like the producers deliberately hired some random actor to agree to live in Kathy’s home and walk around in his underwear. Well, to be fair, he does seem to really work. Maybe he’ll grow on me. Hey, anything is possible.

Fortunately, we get to see a lot of Kathy just being herself, saying crazy things about celebrities. Oh, I think Kathy is slowly but surely rising above the D-list. Whoopi Goldberg! Rosie O’Donnell! Joan Rivers? Wait, do people even care about Joan anymore? I’m not judging; this is a serious question. Joan used to be one of the best female comics back in the day. Yep, she was a guest host on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson for many years. She was huge. Now, people don’t seem to realize that she was comedic gold in the 70s and 80s. I’m not crazy about her daughter Melissa, but I will always be a Joan Rivers fan. And I’m so glad Kathy loves Joan, too. Those women are a lot alike. Clearly, some important celebrities love Kathy, which is awesome.

Kathy’s interaction with Whoopi was very entertaining. Whoopi is so cool. Seriously, she has achieved a level of cool that most of us can’t even comprehend. To be honest, I’m not the world’s biggest fan of this great woman, but I recognize talent (and coolness) when I see it. Also, I lost count of the number of times Kathy and Whoopi used the word vagina. Then, on the view, Rosie O’Donnell just showered Kathy with love and support. I had no idea these women got along so well. It was a pleasure to see. Oh, if you love a good mystery, you should stop by the Bravissimo Blog where detective damselfly investigates the case of the faceless biatch.

The show builds up to Kathy’s big performance at Carnegie Hall. That’s right; our gal can perform with the best of ‘em. I think she’s a great performer, and watching her go over her material and prepare her set was great. She’s devoted to her craft, but she also loves to be spontaneous. And her efforts paid off; she got a standing ovation. Sadly, we weren’t able to see her Carnegie Hall performance. Thanks for nothing, Bravo.

It’s great to see people moving on and succeeding. At the out set, Kathy acknowledged that she felt betrayed by her ex-husband, and it appeared that she hadn’t fully recovered from the breakup. She said that she felt like she had lost her best friend. She even mentioned that her broken marriage was her biggest failure to date. She shed a few tears, but in true Kathy form, she refused to let that get the best of her. She continued to work, laugh, and smile the whole time. Thank goodness for Pom-Pom and Chance. Also, her parents are just so cute. It’s always a joy to see her with her parents. She had to get those funny genes from somewhere.