I Heart Tarkan (And My Blog . . . Oh, And My Readers Too)

Dear friends, I'm still alive. I've just been terribly busy. Anyway, my poor, little blog needs some love and nourishment (i.e., words and images). Therefore, I've decided to give it lots of love and a high dose of Tarkan, an amazing performer known as the Turkish Prince. I heart this man so much. Who cares if he claims to be a heterosexual! He and Ricky Martin aren't fooling anyone. But that's an issue to be discussed later. For now, let's enjoy Tarkan's new single, Vay Anam Vay.

A Very Queer Post

Another day, another blog-a-thon. Wait! This isn’t your average blog-a-thon. Not at all. On Monday, November 19th, Queering The Apparatus will be hosting its very first Queer Film Blog-A-Thon. Finally! An opportunity for gay bloggers all across the blogosphere to express their love for queer cinema. The following is my contribution to this wonderful blog-a-thon.



I’ve always enjoyed great films. However, like most members of the LGBT community, I’ve often been disappointed with the dearth of gay characters and stories in mainstream Hollywood Films. Fortunately, there are directors, writers, actors, and producers who manage to create amazing cinematic treasurers for us (the gays), often with limited resources and support. Thank goodness for independent films and passionate artists.



In the film The Sum of Us, Russell Crowe plays a regular bloke who just happens to be gay. I debated whether to mention this film. To be honest, it is far from being perfect. However, I liked Russell’s character (Jeff) a lot. The great thing about this film is that is doesn’t conform to tired stereotypes. Jeff is straight acting, and he has a father who offers him unconditional love and support. And that’s a beautiful thing.



I realize that coming out stories are an important part of gay culture, but they’re becoming something of a cliché. And coming out films usually annoy the hell out of me, especially when they’re poorly made. The film Get Real is an exception. There are other great films that deal with the same subject matter, of course, but I connected with the film’s protagonist, Steven Carter; and I think Ben Silverstone did a great job of brining this character to life. The film is conventional in many ways, but Steven’s courage is quite remarkable. He wrote an inspiring essay that was published in the school newspaper. For a while, the author of the essay remained anonymous. But in the end, Steven addressed the entire student body, as well as his family, and acknowledged that he had written the essay. The pen, as they say, is mightier than the sword.



I enjoyed Brokeback Mountain. It certainly deserves to be praised. This film, by the wonderful director Ang Lee, brought a love affair between two men to the silver screen. Of course, other films have done that before, but Brokeback Mountain did what most gay films rarely every do—it managed to break into the mainstream. And it has secured a special place in American popular culture. I also think Annie Proulx, Larry McMurtry, Diana Ossana, and Ang Lee should be commended for making this film a reality. It’s always nice to have some straight people on our side.



Queer cinema doesn’t get better than John Cameron Mitchell’s Hedwig and the Angry Inch. This film is one of my favorite films (top 10 material). John plays a transgender performer who leads an extraordinary life. Everything about the film is wonderful. John does a great job of introducing the protagonist, Hedwig. Within the first 15 minutes, I fell in love with Hedwig. John is a gifted director. There’s no question about that. The music is wonderful and the film is just enchanting from start to finish. Of all films mentioned in this post, I think Hedwig and the Angry Inch is the most beautiful. It is also visually and intellectually provocative.




I love John Waters. This post wouldn’t be complete without a John Water’s film. And Pink Flamingos is my favorite film by this great director. I know some—or maybe most—people find it crass and unacceptable, but this film represents so much to me and other members of the LGBT community. Pink Flamingos is a film that refuses to conform to societal standards of decency. It laughs in the face of social conformity. Divine’s character, Babs Johnson, is confident and defiant. It’s hard for the average gay person to exhibit this degree of self-confidence in the real (straight) world, which is why Babs Johnson is a breath of fresh air. Of course, one shouldn’t celebrate the violence in the film, but the violence is part of what makes it work so well. It’s all about defiance! Interestingly, John Waters often says that he wants the audience to just relax and have a good time. Well, mission accomplished. His films are certainly very entertaining, but there’s so much more to Pink Flamingos than meets the eye.



Pink Flamingos was my favorite gay film for a very long time. That changed after I saw Gods and Monsters, a film about James Whale, a film director who made horror films in the 1930s. The accomplished stage actor Ian McKellen was brilliant as James. Lynn Redgrave also delivered a great performance, and Brendan Fraser was effective as Clayton Boone, the object of Whale’s interest in the film. Gods and Monsters explores the last few moments of James Whale’s life, before he committed suicide in 1957. James lived with depression, memory problems, and other conditions that lead him to take his own life. He was 67.

Gay cinema and culture seem obsessed with youth and beauty. This blog is no exception. I post pictures of hot actors and models from time to time. However, this film focuses on the inner struggles of an aging gay man. That, I think, makes the film stand out in the world of gay cinema. Older gay men are often portrayed as asexual figures in many films. In God and Monsters, James tries to seduce a young straight man. He shows us that sexuality and the need for companionship are strong motivators that exist in all human beings, young and old. But the main reason I adore this film is because of Ian McKellen. His performance is the heart and soul of this film. The people behind Gods and Monsters get extra points from me because they cast a real gay man to play a gay character on the big screen. What a novel concept!

The Problem With Perez

Sometimes the gay media pisses me off in a major way. What did they do now? Well, Out.com recently recognized Perez Hilton as one of the most influential gay people in this country. He even got the royal treatment by the folks at Out.com (check out the following picture), and that's what I object to.



Now, in all fairness to Mr. Lavandeira (aka Perez Hilton), I have to acknowledge that his blog, Perezhilton.com, is one of the most popular blogs on the web. Is he influential? Well, I'll give him some credit. He gets a lot of attention from the main stream media. He was on the view and he appears on MTV and other popular news and entertainment outlets on a regular basis. So, from a very objective perspective, I'd say that he is influential. But does that mean he should be honored by the gay media?

Funny thing is, he is every activist's dream. He's out, proud, and successful. Oh, but it gets better. The man doesn't hide his sexuality. Many have seen a side of Perez Hilton that's too disgusting to describe on this blog. My point is: he is not asexual. I read somewhere that's he's getting his own show. That's impressive. So, should we kiss his ass? I don't think so. I contend that he is not an asset to the LGBT community. I'm sorry, but simply being out and proud shouldn't be some sort of badge of honor. I think it's great that's he's out. It's always wonderful to see someone who's comfortable with his or her sexuality, but we shouldn't just shower someone with praise for being out. He is not a good role model for LGBT people in this (or any) country. He's a smart internet personality. Good for him, but why does the gay media have to jump on the "I love Perez" band wagon.

I'm fully aware that Perez is a part of our community, whether we like it or not. The LGBT community is not a monolith. We are a very diverse group of people, and Perez will always have a place in our community. My beef is with the gay media and the writers who work for and/or are associated with them. These individuals often serve as representatives of the entire LGBT community. And that's a shame. They only represent a segment of our community. It's interesting that Perez Hilton is Hispanic American but contributes nothing significant to the plight of gay men and Lesbians of Hispanic descent. I'm not saying Perez is obligated to do anything; I'm just pointing out that he's just a successful American blogger who has nothing meaningful to contribute to any cause. Where are other gay people of color? Don't they exist? They have a very different perspective that's rarely heard. How about gay people who can't be out for various reasons. This large group of gay men and lesbians may not be out to the world, but they are on the internet consuming gay culture. They are a part of our community.

What's On Dumbledore's Mind?

Click on the image below to find out. Wait! If you're at work, you may want to wait until you get home.



I'm sorry. I saw this image of Daniel Radcliffe on another blog and just had to use it. Also, there's no harm in looking. He's legal now.

Happy National Coming Out Day

There’s More Than One Way To Be A Sissy.

The always wonderful GayProf wrote an interesting piece about the media’s obsession with the Larry Craig scandal and what that may tell us about how society views gays. It’s an excellent post. In that post, GayProf provided a link to another post by Kenneth Hill. I thought Kenneth made some excellent points. However, I didn’t buy it. Actually, it kind of irritated me. And here’s a passage from that post that essentially sums up the tone of the article,

Basically . . . people hate a sissy, aka anyone who acts too gay (read: too effeminate).

Please note that Kenneth discussed other issues and provided an overall compelling argument. But I found it devoid of true objectivity. In fact, this very statement and other comments made in the post seem to place gays into two categories—sissies and non-sissies. And, according to Kenneth, in order for gays to be free, we all need to accept our sissies. That’s a good point, but, again, I have major issue with this and other statements.

First of all, as most probably know but tend to forget, gay people are a very diverse group. The sissies that Kenneth speaks of probably represent a small minority of the gay population. Interestingly, this small sample seems to get a lot of attention. More about that a little later. My major beef with Kenneth’s piece is that he seems to ignore the fact that there’s more than one way to be a sissy, so to speak. Relative to many straight men, I’d be considered a big ol’ sissy. Now, that doesn’t mean I’m more effeminate than a fabulous drag queen. I’m actually considered straight-acting by most, but I will never deny that I have female-typical traits and interests. In fact, I celebrate those traits. I mean, have you read my blog? Check out the banner and some of the side bar pics.

I also don’t get what he means by too effeminate. I mean, I know what he’s talking about, but, again, I find that phrase a little off the mark. Gay men are first and foremost living, breathing mammals, and, in all sexually reproducing species, diversity is the rule rather than the exception. Sorry, I study animal behavior for a living; please bear with me. Anyway, my point is: Effeminate gay men are as diverse as any group of human beings or animals, for that matter. Whoever came up with this sissy/non-sissy dichotomy is just foolish and lazy.

Ok, I’ll admit that generalizing and keeping things simple can often be very effective and desirable, something John Kerry should know by now. However, I expect more from intelligent gay men. Why? Because these men are near and dear to my heart. And I have to say that I found it quite objectionable that Kenneth lumped Carson Kressley and Chris Crocker in the same category. Carson Kressley and youtube sensation Chris Crocker may seem identical on the surface, but when you really start to compares these two gay men, you will immediately see that they are as different as night and day. Chris seems to enjoy making vulgar comments, dancing provocatively, and doing other questionable things. Casron, on the other hand, has established himself as a respected television personality. His quippy comments and success as a fashionista have made him what he is today.

Finally, I’d like to comment about the homophobic statements directed at Chris Crocker. Of course, I think that’s deplorable. And it is a sad reminder that gay men who don’t conform to societal standards—gender norms and other rules—are often subjected to verbal and/or physical abuse. However, the behavior exhibited by Chris should not be considered gay-typical. Even straight women are subjected to hateful comments if they appear “too” sexual. In fact, Paris Hilton, a woman I can’t stand, is often bashed throughout the blogosphere. Yes, the media may often shower gay men like Chris Crocker with the wrong type of attention, and society can be harsh. There’s no question about that. But society also praises certain effeminate gay men (see Tim Gunn). What I’m trying to say is that being effeminate (or even too effeminate) isn’t the same thing as being histrionic (and effeminate). Again, there’s more than one way to be a sissy.

The Media Giveth, The Media Taketh Away

Ok, I don't even know where to begin. This whole Britney debacle has been buzzing around the blogosphere for the past few days. It's old news, but there have been some new developments that we should consider. Even the popular Bravo bloggers Tom and Lorenzo blogged about Britney's unfortunate performance. Are the boys right? Is Britney's VMA performance going to destroy her career in the music industry? Who knows. This is the same industry that profited from the William Hung phenomenon and managed to get people to buy Paris Hilton CDs. I don't question it. It just is. So, Britney probably won't enjoy the level of success she achieved as a teenage pop diva years ago, but she'll probably be around for a while.

To be honest, I never understood the whole Britney phenomenon. Back in the day, she was worshipped by millions of fans around the world. Sure, she was hot, but she lacked the one thing that defines a real musical artist--talent! Yep, I couldn't understand her success. How could a girl with little talent dominate the music industry and popular culture the way Britney did years ago. Well, I think her success was due at least in part to the attention she received from the media. They were obsessed with her, discussing almost every aspect of her life on and off the stage. The media created Britney Speras. Well, now the tables have turned. The media types that declared Britney the queen of pop music years ago have now turned against her. And they delight in showing clips and images of Britney behaving badly.

Of course, you can't blame the media for Britney's unfortunate mistakes, but one can argue that they are at least partially responsible for creating our media obsessed culture. They, quite frankly, created Britney Spears. They also created Jennifer Lopez and the Spice Girls. In fact, I think Britney should have faded into obscurity just like many artists have done for decades. That's just the nature of the business. But, no! Viacom, MTV, and various other media outlets keep pushing Britney Spears on their young consumers. I blame the media for all of this mess.

I enjoyed some of her songs back in the day, but I am not a fan. I consider her little more than a superficial product of the entertainment industry. Ok, I will admit that I kind of feel sorry for her, but I'm not going to shed a tear for Ms. Spears. She's a very wealthy woman; she'll survive.

Fortunately, Britney has never been alone. She will always have the support of some members of the gay community. For example, Boy Shakira, an amateur drag queen, performed Hit Me Baby One More Time on America's Got Talent. It's very clear that Boy Shakira loves Brit.



And recently, the youtube phenomenon Chris Crocker defended Britney with a passion that one rarely sees expressed by sane individuals. Here's what Chris had to say about his favorite pop diva,



God, I love unstable gay men. I didn't think anyone could possibly top Boy Shakira, America's favorite amateur drag queen. Well, Chris' little outburst is certainly giving Boy Shakira a run for his money. Oh, and Chris is now getting a lot of (negative) attention for his little youtube rant. Fortunately, my beloved Seth Green has a few words for all you Chris Crocker haters.



American culture never ceases to amaze (and scare) me.

Reality Star Life Cycle: From Birth To The Supernova (Top Chef 3; Episode 9)

After last week’s disaster, the producers had a huge hurdle to overcome. Whether or not they succeeded is subject to debate. Now, I enjoyed this episode for various reasons. For starters, the quickfire challenge was great—a real competition. And the restaurants looked much better and the service was also quite improved compared to what we saw last week.

This episode offered two extremes. We witnessed the highs of success and those almost miraculous moments when things just come together perfectly. But we also got to see abject failure. Sara M’s performance in this episode was phenomenal. Not only did she kick Casey’s slow ass, but she also kicked my ass and made me eat my words. I will never call her lazy again. She rocked!

Interestingly, this episode kind of made me think of the life cycle of a star, those magnificent entities that live in solar systems near and far. I know, the strangest things pop into my head as I watch these reality programs. Anyway, Sara M’s success represents the birth of a star—a reality star.



She came out of nowhere, diced onions like there was no tomorrow, and proved more than effective as the executive chef of Quatre. Her star shone brighter than any other. Tre, on the other hand, represents the other end of the spectrum. He started off strong; easily one of the most promising of all the chefs.



Yes, he was once a bright star, wowing the judges with his well executed and beautiful dishes. Everyone expected him to make it to the final. However, he was unable to pull his team together. His unfortunate fall from grace was kind of like a stellar event—an explosion or supernova, one of the final stages of a star’s life cycle.



This episode offered quite a few pleasant surprises. We got to see a very loquacious Steven, showing off his sommelier skills. I actually like Steven.



There were other familiar faces—Joey, Sara N., Camille, and Lia. Oh, I just have to commend Lia for looking so amazing. Well done!




I was particularly pleased to see the lovely Camille. I can’t explain it; I don’t know much about her, but she seems like the kind of person who’d be fun to hang out with. She’s my kind of girl.



I have no idea why they invited Christopher Ciccone to participate this season. I mean, there are certainly better qualified interior designers. I guess producers assumed the gays would love to see Madonna’s pompous brother. It’s becoming increasingly clear that Bravo is seriously courting gay viewers. Yeah, they want us!



Now, I’ve made it very clear that I like Dale. I think he did an excellent job at the front of the house, and he also contributed a successful dish. However, this man has the most insane mix of gay traits. Stereotypes can be a gay man’s best friend. For example, people often assume that gay men have impeccable taste. Of course, not all gay have good taste, and some gays should never be allowed to express their inner gayness. Dale, I’m afraid, is a case in point. His unfortunate fashion sense, terrible interior design skills, and penchant for scented candles could have been his undoing in the previous episode. Fortunately, Bravo gave him and the other cheftestants another chance. Well, Dale did something that I found quite bizarre. As Ted pointed out, he was not dressed appropriately for the challenge. I can’t understand how any gay man could turn down an opportunity to dress to the nines. Brian looked more presentable. It’s a sad day when one is out-gayed by a straight man with subsyndromal Adult ADD. Hold on a minute; is Brian straight?



I’ve complained about the lack of female talent this season. Fortunately, Sara M stepped up to the plate and hit a home run. Casey is another story. She was the reason her team lost the quickfire challenge. Watching her dice onions was unnerving. How can one be a chef with such poor knife skills? I guess it’s possible, but I’m sure that kind of Chef is not Top Chef material. I’m so close to giving up on Casey. Actually, she should be eliminated soon. She really doesn’t deserve to make it to the final. I love ya, Casey, but I’m just being objective here.

CJ and Brian did almost nothing. They essentially left Tre alone. CJ’s dish failed, and Brian didn’t prepare anything. And his customer service skills were far from exceptional. I was a bit surprised that they eliminated Tre. However, his inability to lead his team to victory was a major downfall. How can you be a Top Chef and have poor leadership skills. Also, at this point of the competition, he should have known better than to send out food that was less than perfect. And it’s a shame that none of the other chefs bothered to scrutinize any of the food before it left the kitchen. They all failed their executive chef and themselves. It's sad that Tre was eliminated, but the show must go on.

Flipping Out Montage

I put together a fun little clip for fans of Bravo's new reality show Flipping Out. The name of the song is My House by Tom Novy. Enjoy!

Jeff Lewis Interview

I found this little gem on youtube. Enjoy!

I'm Still Hooked On Flipping Out

I’m convinced that Bravo has me under some sort of spell. That’s the only thing that could possibly explain why I’m still loving Flipping Out so much. Episode 3 (Betting Men) did not disappoint. It’s tempting to compare this show to Work Out, another Bravo reality show. They are similar in some ways but quite different in others.

Anyway, the best thing about Flipping Out is that the producers seem to be shifting the emphasis from personal drama to the actual process of house flipping. In this episode, the work environment took center stage, while all the drama occurred in the periphery. It’s also interesting that the source of the drama seems to change from episode to episode. We’ve seen the perils of kitty acupuncture; the stress employees have to endure working with Jeff; the volatile relationship between Jeff and Ryan; and the list will probably get longer.



Jeff Lewis has been called crazy by some, and some people just can’t stand the guy. I can see where they’re coming from, but I happen to think the world of Mr. Lewis. Of course, I acknowledge that he can be a bit psycho at times—there’s his OCD, unreasonable demands, and unusual social skills.



In this episode, Jeff enlisted the help of another psychic, Fiona. I don’t believe in such things, but I know that some people do. And Jeff depends on psychics whenever he makes important decisions. Again, I don’t understand it, but that’s his thing.






I’m starting to like Jenni a lot. It’s great seeing her interact with Jeff. He actually lashed out at her for moving an appointment to a time that was more convenient for Ryan. Clearly, she’s a considerate person. Jeff, on the other hand, is a control freak and also a tad manipulative. In my book, that’s a huge character flaw, but there’s no denying he usually gets his way no matter what. And that’s important in his line of work.



As mentioned before, Jeff and Ryan Brown were an item years ago. I sometimes sense a degree of uneasiness between them, but they seem to tolerate each other. And I'm sure they care for each other. But there's no question that their relationship is quite complex. Ok, I have to say, Ryan is such a hottie; I like him so much that I’m willing to overlook the fact that he misspelled lose. Anyway, both Jeff and Ryan obviously enjoy what they do, but Jeff is far more ambitious. Ryan seems content with having a permanent home and focusing on a few projects at time. Jeff never seems satisfied; he has way too many projects and the thought of settling down in one place seems like a waste of money to him.

In this episode, Jeff was running out of money. He wanted Ryan to sell his home, which would free up some additional money. Ryan didn’t like the idea, but Jeff made a very attractive offer. The first person to sell their current residence would get to move into their best property, a multi-million dollar home they called Nottingham. Ryan loved the idea, and the bet was on. Well, Ryan won. Things are getting interesting. I'm really looking forward to the next episode.

Domesticated Animals And The Gay Men Who Love Them

I’m sure many of you have pets. I don’t. In fact, I’m not really an animal person. I’m certainly capable of caring for and nurturing a domesticated animal. But, for now, I prefer to invest my time and money on one mammal—me!

I think that makes me something of an oddity among my fellow gay men and lesbians. Of course, I shouldn’t generalize, but it’s very tempting to say that gays and animals go hand in hand. Interestingly, two Bravo reality shows seem to be reinforcing this stereotype.



In the new reality show Welcome to the Parker, interior designer Jonathan Adler was shocked to learn that management was planning to ban all animals from the five-star resort. He didn’t take the news lightly and did what any dog-loving gay man would have done. He challenged Thomas, the general manager, to a game of ping pong. The winner got to decide the fate of all animals at The Parker. Adler won and the dogs got to stay! You know, I never thought I’d say this, but I found Adler somewhat attractive in this episode. He annoyed me in Top Design, but in The Parker, he’s way more likable. Interesting. Anyway, yeah, the dogs got to stay. Happy endings are always nice.

Flipping Out, my newest obsession, is about a gay real estate speculator, Jeff Lewis, who treats his pets better than his employees.



In this episode, he had Stephen, one of his assistants, take his cat Monkey to the vet for acupuncture treatment. Now, I may not be an animal person, but I have enough sense to know that animals don’t usually like to get stabbed with sharp objects.



I couldn’t stop smiling throughout the whole acupuncture scene. The cat was pissed and ended up biting poor Stephen. Not even the vet was able to calm Monkey down. After the ordeal was over, Stephen called Jeff who seemed unmoved by the story. Stephen’s reaction to Jeff’s indifference was priceless. He started crying. Ok, I don’t usually like to see people crying, but this was comedic gold for me. I swear; the producers made this show with me in mind.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, this show is surprisingly good. As most of you probably know, I love the reality show Workout. Jackie Warner is the real deal. However, the one thing I don’t like about the show is how misleading it can be. I don’t recall ever hearing anyone mention the fact that most of the trainers were actors or even former reality show contestants. Of course, that will never stop me from loving the show.

Flipping Out is quite different. It was made clear at the outset that most of the assistants and employees were struggling actors or performers. In fact, a lot of the tension and comedy on the show is caused by the employees trying to juggle both aspects of their lives. They have auditions to attend, but they can’t afford to neglect their obligations at work. Now, I acknowledge that a lot of the scenes are staged, but that’s true of most reality shows.

I should also point out that there are a number of people who don’t seem to like Flipping Out. And, you know what, I can totally understand that. Not everyone is going to like Jeff Lewis, a man who I find very fascinating. Not everyone wants to learn the ins and outs of house flipping. I, on the other hand, find this topic quite interesting. There are a number of reasons to love or loathe this new Bravo reality show, but I like this show for one simple reason: it’s essentially a show about a successful gay man.

This episode ended perfectly. Jeff’s crew celebrated Zoila’s birthday. All his friends (and animals) were there. They had cake; hit a piñata; and just had a wonderful time. This show is really off to a good start. Well done, Bravo!

I Heart Ryan

I have a lot to say about Flipping Out, a new Bravo reality show that's quite entertaining. I'll write about that later. For now, please enjoy these pictures of Ryan, Jeff's business partner and ex-boyfriend. God, I love gay men. Enjoy!

Confession of a Bravo Whore: I Enjoyed Flipping Out

I’m sure many of you watched the series premiere of Flipping Out last night. My friends over at Bravissimo wrote a great little piece about it. They even came up with their own list! To be honest, I was really looking forward to Bravo’s new reality show offering, but I was expecting the worst. Seriously, some of the clips I had seen over the past few weeks looked so fake and scripted. I know that’s not surprising for a reality show, but things didn’t look promising for Jeff and his gang. Fortunately for the suits at Bravo, I’m a proud Bravo whore and my general curiosity kept me glued to the television last night. That and my love for successful gay men!



Well, for some reason, I actually found the show entertaining. And I can’t really explain why. I mean, there are so many things about this show that make it seem like a bad idea.



For starters, Jenni and Chris are both struggling actors. They’re also married, which is the cutest thing. Oh, I should point out that I thought I was going to hate Jenni, but after watching the first episode, I’ve decided that I don’t hate her. I’m still not sure what to make of this Elaine (from Seinfeld) look-a-like, but I think she’s going to win me over. She seems a bit too lethargic and uninspired at times, but she also knows how to have fun. Also, I suspect most of Jeff’s employees are also actors or somehow affiliated with the entertainment industry. Hey, they all live in L.A.; I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.



The biggest hurdle for the show seems to be getting the public to connect with Jeff Lewis, the show’s star, on some level. Bravo failed miserably with Hey Paula! Yeah, let’s not go there. Anyway, Jeff talks openly about having OCD; he criticizes his assistants for every little thing; and he seems to think the world revolves around him (and his animals).

However, I would consider Flipping Out a surprising success. Ok, it’s not as good as Shear Genius, and I doubt it will have all the drama that was packed into Workout Season 2. But all the individual elements of this new show seem to be coming together quite well. I want more lists! I want to see more of Jeff wearing his perfectly ironed shirts! I want to see more of Jenni dancing (not rapping) and working in the studio! I want to see a shirtless Ryan working on something—anything! Yeah, I’m already looking forward to the next episode.

Ryan Speaks

Ryan is a certified hottie. We didn't get to see much of him in this episode. But I'm sure he'll get more air time next week. Ryan is Jeff Lewis' business partner and ex-boyfriend. Yep, that's a recipe for disaster.

I'm Really Looking Forward To . . .

Oh, the suits at Bravo sure know how to please. I'm sure I speak on behalf of many gay men when I say, thank you, Bravo! Yes, there's a new reality show in the works called Flipping Out. Click here to meet the show's star, Jeff Lewis. You have my attention, Jeff.

Entertaining Deviants (D-List 3, Episode 5)

This episode of My Life on the D-List has to be one of Kathy’s best. Actually, this episode kind of felt like two; in the first half, she hosted the Gay Adult Video Awards, while, in the second half, she performed for two groups of prison inmates.



The show started with Kathy getting ready for a blind date. Ok, it wasn’t really a blind date; she knew who she was going out with. She had just never met the guy before. Who was the lucky fella, you must be wondering? It was Mike “The Mouth” Matusow.

I know what you must be thinking. Mike has to be a gay porn star. Nope! He’s actually a professional poker player. They call him the “The Mouth” because he talks a lot of trash at the poker table. Also, this guy has no game. When asked if he was familiar with Kathy’s work, he clumsily admitted that he had no idea who Kathy was. Kathy was upstairs and heard the whole thing. Then what did the idiot do? He went upstairs and told Kathy he was a big fan. Kathy immediately responded, “I just heard you say that you knew nothing about me!”

Yeah, Mike has no clue how to treat a lady. He actually said the following to Kathy’s mom,

Mom, I’m gonna take care of her. If she gets on my nerves . . . [almost kicks Kathy’s mom] right where it goes. I ain’t gonna take nothing from her

Maggie, Kathy’s mom, looked concerned. This guy needs a serious makeover and an attitude adjustment. Where are the fab 5 when you really need them? Oh, and I suspect he has adult ADD. Seriously, the guy couldn't sit still for one second.

Of course, Kathy loves putting herself in awkward situations. Fortunately, that little clip of Kathy and Mike lasted only a few minutes. Next, Kathy prepared for the Gay Adult Video Awards. She enlisted the help of her (straight) friend Eric who also happens to be a comedy writer. Perfect!



Ok, what is Kathy doing dating guys like Mike (and Ron Jeremy) when a guy like Eric is just a phone call away? Now, I’m not going to lie; I think Eric is a cutie. Of course, he’s probably married. Or, he may be in denial. Let’s face it; Kathy is like a gay magnet. Even her ex-boyfriend turned out to be gay. Anyway, she and Eric discussed material for her Gay Porn Award’s gig. Also, Eric asked her if all gay porn guys were gay. Well, Eric, there is such a thing as gay for pay. Are you interested? I’m just kidding. I don’t pay for sex. I do, however, tip strippers. Hey, they’re performers. Don’t judge me!

Moving on. Kathy was like a kid in a candy store during the Award’s ceremony. She was running a little late for the red carpet, but she made it and everything went as scheduled. The crowd just loved her and she rocked. I was quite impressed by Chi Chi LaRue. It’s no wonder she’s one of the top gay porn director’s in the states and maybe even the world. She’s a no nonsense kind of drag queen.

Yes, there were hot men all over the place, and Kathy had them all worshiping her every move. It was an interesting night.



There were, of course, some big names present. Michael Brandon “Mr. Monster Dick” was there and presented a few awards. Now, I can’t help but wonder—who comes up with these names? I acknowledge that his porn name is completely appropriate, but is that the best they could come upt with? Whoever came up with that name has to be the laziest person in the adult entertainment industry. What’s next? Mr. Big Balls? Sadly, Michael has no stage presence. He was such a bore.

You know, I figured that porn stars and pornographers were shallow individuals who only cared about making money and having lots of sex. But, this episode was all about breaking down stereotypes. Actually, it reinforced some stereotypes, while challenging others. For example, one guy said the following,

As far as I am concerned, everyone one of you in the gay porn industry is doing God’s work

Amen! Ok, wait, who is this guy and what the hell was he talking about? I have no idea. However, he seemed really serious. Maybe he was talking about the importance of promoting gay male sexuality; or perhaps he was just praising his fellow pornographers for providing a service to the gay community. Of course, he could also be crazy. That’s a possibility if you consider that the words (gay) porn and God don’t belong in the same sentence.

And just when we thought things couldn’t get any stranger, some guy offered the following,

I need to thank the countries of Lebanon and Israel for being strong neighbors, and hopefully one day there will be peace there

I’m with Kathy; who knew? Seriously, people in the gay porn industry are just as concerned about important issues as the rest of us. Bless their hearts.



Savanna Sampson won the award for best non-sex performance. Apparently, this is really an “acting” award. Now, I don’t know who Savanna is, but I think I like her. She got on the stage, accepted her award, and didn’t look the least bit overcome with emotion. She was just there to have a good time. I’m sure Savanna knows her real place in the universe. And Tom’s reaction was priceless.

Finally . . . a female porn star

Yes, the event was a huge success for Kathy and she was given the very first Naked Swordsman Award. Nice! I wonder if she’ll be adding that to her resume.



The second half of the show had plenty of humor and fun, but it also offered a very serious topic—the reality of life behind bars. Kathy was touched by a group of female inmates who shared their life experiences with her. She held back the tears while talking to them, but the minute she stepped outside with her assistants, she couldn’t hold them back any longer. The best part was seeing the prisoners respond so positively to her performance. I was kind of expecting her to bomb, but she was a hit with both male and female inmates. Good for her.

For more information about My Life on the D-List and other Bravo shows, visit my friends over at the Bravissimo Blog and Reality on Bravo.

Europa Europa

When I first learned of Emma’s blog-a-thon, I immediately thought of Sir Ian McKellen’s performance in the wonderful film Gods and Monsters, my favorite “gay” film of all time. Actually, it’s one of my favorite films of all time. Period. Emma had challenged us to write about a life changing performance. But, the more I thought about it, the more it became clear to me that this particular performance (and film) did not change my life in a drastic way. Let me explain. I was in my early 20s when I saw this film for the first time. And I was moved by it; it was a great cinematic experience. However, at that age and still today, it took a collection of things—movies, songs, books, and so on—to change my life in any meaningful way. A single movie just doesn’t seem to do the trick anymore.



My life wasn’t always that way. In fact, I saw a film in the early 90s that changed my life in a major way. That film was Europa Europa. This and other films (e.g., anything by Almodovar) made me fall in love with foreign cinema, and that’s why I’ve decided to write about this particular film. Thus, the performance that changed my life—my viewing habits, to be exact—was Marco Hofschneider’s portrayal of Solomon Perel (Solly) in Europa Europa.



As mentioned before, I first saw Europa Europa in the early 90s; I loved it without question. I saw it again last year, and I still enjoyed it immensely. However, the film is not perfect; of course, the flaws that seem so salient now meant little to me a decade ago. Marco Hofschneider’s Solly was born into a typical Jewish family and lived in Germany during the late 1930s and early 1940s, a tumultuous time for Europe. Solly was an adolescent when his family was forced to flee Germany after his sister’s death at the hands of an anti-Semitic mob at the outset of World War II. His family relocated to Poland.



However, Solly's stay in Poland was short lived, as Hitler’s forces invaded Poland in 1939. Solly’s parents decided to stay behind but encouraged their two sons to run far, far away. After much hesitation, Solly and his brother obeyed. During a frantic attempt to board one of several ships that could take them to a safer area, the brothers inadvertently boarded different ships and were separated. They called out to each other, but, sadly, they would not see each other again for years.

Solly ended up in a Russian orphanage and joined a youth organization that promoted communist ideals. He even became fluent in Russian. I should point out that, after seeing this film as a kid, I thought I was a communist for several months. It was a phase. Anyway, Solly was taught to reject religion and the exploitation of the lower classes. At one point he gave the following speech to his peers,

The bourgeois keep the people in ignorance . . . encourage religious superstitions, and with the help of the popes, priests, and rabbis, they smother all revolutionary instinct . . . we call religion the opium of the masses

Then, after two years in Russia, Solly’s life was again turned upside down by the Germans. He was forced to flee the orphanage with his peers and instructors. As before, he was left behind by unfortunate circumstances. He was arrested by German soldiers, but, luckily, he managed to fool them into thinking he was a German boy forced to live in a Russian orphanage. He spoke German perfectly, and he easily befriended the German soldiers



He would spend years pretending to be a German adolescent. And he was eventually sent to Germany, where he was enrolled in one of Hitler’s Youth Schools, surrounded by people who hated all Jews. Things went from bad to worse. He was unable to make love to his girlfriend Leni (Julie Delpy), out of fear of being discovered. One look at his circumcised penis and that would be the end of poor Solly. At one point in the movie, Solly even tried tying his foreskin, to prevent it from slipping back. It was a very painful experience, but his attempt was not successful. Fortunately, he was eventually able to escape. He was reunited with his brother and they made their way to Israel.

This film motivated me to see other foreign films. In fact, at one point in the 90s, I foolishly told my friends that I would only see International films from that point forward. Almodovar! Bunuel! Fellini! And others, of course! Ah, I was very impressionable at that age.

Marco Hofschneider gave a solid performance that truly moved me. The film was based on the real life of Solomon Perel. Marco’s portrayal of Solly really affected me in a way that’s very difficult to articulate. Solly was forced to pretend to be something he wasn’t. He was forced to listen to lectures and read literature that praised the Nordic phenotype and belittled Jewish people and culture—his heritage.

Although I’ve never experienced anything like what the real life Solomon Perel had to endure, I connected with Hofschneider’s Solly. As a gay person, I spent many years pretending to be something I wasn’t. Even after I came to terms with my sexuality, I remained in the closet for many years. I was silent as the people around me made hateful comments about gays.

The great thing about Solomon’s story is that he survived; he somehow managed to overcome all that hardship and psychological stress. More importantly, his experience made him stronger. He was a fighter. I think I’m a lot like Solly. I grew up in a conservative community in Texas. But, just like Solly and many gay men and women around the world, I'm a fighter.

Who Wants To Be Normal Anyway?

Inspired by GayProf, my original idea was to blog about Gay Pride and what it means to me. Well, I’ve decided to go a different direction for various reasons. First, I’m not really in a gay pride sort of mood. I live in North Florida, and there isn’t much of a gay community in the All-American city I currently call home, which means that there isn’t going to be a pride parade any time soon. There are, however, a few events at local bars and clubs, which is nice, but these events are nothing out of this world. Also, I’m not the most outgoing person on the planet; I’m actually quite reserved.

So, instead of writing about gay pride, I’d like to write about a topic that has always been on my mind since I accepted myself as a gay man: the idea of homosexuality as an abnormal condition. Before the 1970s, the American Psychiatric Association (APA) classified homosexuality as a mental disorder. Fortunately, in 1973, the APA changed its position on homosexuality, declaring that homosexuality was no longer to be considered deviant behavior.

Many scientists, writers, and activists contributed, both directly and indirectly, to this momentous event. Alfred Kinsey provided data showing the full spectrum of sexual behavior. Yep, homosexuality was alive and well in the 40s and 50s. His findings were very controversial at that moment in time, and I suspect many Americans would still be surprised today by what he reported. Psychologist Evelyn Hooker interviewed many gay men and suggested that homosexuality was not pathological. And there are many more examples.

The most compelling event, I think, took place at the APA annual meeting in Dallas, TX in 1972. A doctor by the name of John Fryer, wearing a face mask, addressed the APA membership. He discussed candidly the difficulties he faced as a gay doctor in a discipline that considered homosexuality to be a mental disorder. I’m sure many APA members were moved by Fryer’s story. And the rest, as they say, is history. As mentioned before, the APA modified its stance on homosexuality.



I had a heated discussion with a close gay friend about what this all means. My friend believes that homosexuality is a natural state and romantic love between members of the same sex is completely normal. Now, let me just say that I’ve always considered myself a very objective person. So, of course, I disagreed with him. I wasn’t sure what he meant by natural. If, by natural, he meant that homosexuality is a product of nervous system function, then I’d agree that homosexuality is natural. His use of the word normal also bothered me. Again, if normal refers to homosexuality as a product of nervous system function, then, again, I’d agree with him. However, when most people talk about homosexuality, they’re probably talking about the social aspects of behavior. And, from that perspective, homosexuality is clearly not normal behavior.

The idea that homosexuality is abnormal may sound quite unappealing, but, from a macro (societal) perspective, it’s kind of true. Heterosexuality is the norm; that’s just the way it is. Now, please know that I’m more than secure with my sexuality and identity as a homosexual. So, I’m not saying that homosexuality should be considered a mental disorder. Fortunately, the APA rejected that idea in the 70s. I’m just saying that being different (abnormal?) is a reality that most of us, gay or straight, have to live with on a daily basis. Even straight people struggle to conform to societal rules, real or imagined.

Being different is both a blessing and a curse. Rejection and contempt are always hard to deal with, but, for the most part, I feel very fortunate to be a gay man. My (abnormal) condition has allowed me to experience empathy for other human beings. My condition has enabled me to view the world from a very unique perspective that few will ever know. My condition has fueled my intellectual curiosity and passion for neuroscience and behavioral science research. And the list goes on.

Yes, I’m more than happy with being different—abnormal. I think I’ve benefited greatly from being gay. However, it should be noted that most of us, gay or straight, are different from the average person in many ways—race, ethnicity, religion, and so on. And these differences make me question the notion of normalcy. Anyway, this post focuses too much on the differences, but, of course, I have a lot in common with the average straight person, a fact that shouldn’t be neglected. Honestly, it's just hard being a human being. Period. I’ll save those comments for another post.

D-List 2 & 3: Lesbians, Strap-Ons, and Sad News

Last week, Kathy Griffin went on a faux date with Nick Carter, the Backstreet Boy and Wigger. I apologize if my use of this word offends anyone; I'm merely repeating what came out of Kathy's mouth. Yeah, so I still don't understand why she would even consider hanging out with Nick Carter. Damselfly over at the Bravissimo Blog noted that a lot of the scenes this season are too contrived. Of course, this is reality television, and that’s to be expected. However, some of the situations she gets herself into are just awkward (and boring). I’m sure Nick’s a nice guy, but he’s old news. I’d much rather see her hanging out with Rosie or some random gay person. How about her BFF Lance Bass?



I did, however, enjoy seeing her hang out with Rachel True. I haven’t seen Rachel in ages. She played Mary Jane in the hilarious movie Half Baked, and she also played a teen witch in the surprisingly effective film The Craft. Rachel was Kathy’s dating coach, and she shared some words of wisdom with our beloved comedienne.

Have fun and be comfortable. And push those tits up!

Rachel’s right; straight men love that! I find it funny that Rachel didn’t mention the important stuff—like, I don’t know . . . personality? Ok, that doesn’t make for good TV. It’s all about tits. Got it.

So, nothing of interest happened last week. Actually, I have to admit that Tom is growing on me. The guy really seems to be doing his job. I have to give credit to Ms. Place for believing in his potential. She was right. However, I still have no clue what Jessica and Tiffany are doing there. I’ve seen them write stuff down on note pads, and they help Kathy write emails. That’s it! Are they really necessary?



This week (episode 3), Kathy Griffin didn’t pull any punches. She aimed to please her gay viewers, and she succeeded. Yep, they finally showed Kathy working out with none other than Jackie Warner at SkySport and Spa. We knew it was coming, of course. But it was nice seeing Jackie again; I kind of miss her, actually.

We knew from a previous episode that Kathy was scheduled to perform on one of Rosie O’Donnell’s famous cruises. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking: LESBIANS! A lot of lesbians (and their children). And Kathy was determined to be a hit on that cruise. So, the main reason Kathy stopped by SkySport and Spa was to ask her new lesbian friend, Jackie, for some advice. Here’s what Jackie said about cracking a Lesbian audience,

Lesbians don’t like sexual references, but they love to talk about sex toys. I recommend you talk about every type of strap-on and vibrator.

Ok, so . . . if you want to be a hit with a Lesbian audience, then you should not make any sexual references. However, it’s ok to talk about sex toys. Hm, that makes no sense to me. Both topics have to do with sex. Whatever. We’ll just have to take Jackie’s word for it. Then, just when we thought things couldn’t get any gayer, Jackie introduced Kathy to Gage, a gay porn star. He should look familiar; he’s the guy who made Jesse sweat on the 7th episode of Workout. Yeah, Gage is a hunk, and Kathy was all over him.

One thing I love about Life on the D-List is that they show the business side of comedy. Kathy is such a hard worker. She rarely turns down a gig. We’ve seen her give flawless performances, but we’ve also seen her flop from time to time. That’s just the nature of the business. I have more to say about Kathy as a comedian, but I’ll save that for another post.



Ok, now let’s get to the sad stuff. I’m sure most of you noticed that my previous (Top Chef) post was a tad on the negative side. Well, I’m convinced that Bravo is just messing with my head. The last few episodes of Workout Season 2 were heartbreaking. Clay, the charming Southern boy on Top Chef 3, was eliminated last week. Well, this is the D-List episode we’ve all been dreading; yeah, Kathy was forced to deal with her father’s death. It just broke my heart that she wasn’t with him when he passed away. You know, the one thing I really enjoy about the D-List is watching Kathy discuss various things with her parents (Sean Hannity?). Hilarious! And it was great to see how supportive they were of her career choices. Well, it’s sad that Mr. Griffin is no longer with us. But, as they say, the show must go on.

All About Ted Allen

My heart rate increases every time I hear the name Ted Allen. Ted, as most of you should know, is a member of the Fab 5. He was the food and wine connoisseur. Before joining the institution that is Bravo Reality Television, he was a contributing editor to Esquire magazine. He’s also a successful writer and food critic. This man can do it all.



I’m not going to lie; Ted is hands down my favorite of the 5 Fab. I actually like four of them and . . . tolerate the other one. Let me explain. Kyan Douglas is the hottie of the group, and you all know how I feel about attractive men. Come on. He’s the health and beauty expert. And that raises a few interesting questions. Why wasn’t he invited to participate in Shear Genius? Why did they have to import a queer from Denmark (i.e., Rene)? Seriously, Rene struggled to deliver his lines and some have suggested that he has a speech impediment. Now, I’m not complaining. Rene was fun to look at. However, I’m sure Kyan would have saved the production team a lot of time and money. Also, to be honest, Kyan is more my type than Rene, which is totally irrelevant because Bravo doesn’t create shows specifically for me. I was just sayin’. I also find it interesting that they never invited Jonathan Antin to be a guest anything on Shear Genius. That would have made me very happy.

Do I even need to tell you all that Carson Kressley was the best thing about Queer Eye? I think that’s a given. This man is comedic gold. The show would have been so boring without him. Thom Filicia was the interior design specialist. He seems like a nice guy, but he never really wowed me in any way. He was just there doing his thing, which is cool. I like him, just not as much as I like the other three. So, now we’re down to the last man—Jai Rodriguez. Apparently, he was the “culture vulture,” a cultural expert of sorts. Whatever. I’m sure he’s a very talented actor. However, I would have preferred a more cultured individual. Seriously, they couldn’t find someone a little more qualified? Is there a shortage of cultured gay men in New York City or other major U.S. cities? How about Copenhagen? Maybe they should have just asked Ted to wear two hats on the show—culinary expert and cultural know-it-all. I’m convinced that Ted can do anything. Now, to be fair, I’m sure some people love Jai, and the producers probably saw something special in him. Why else did they even consider him in the first place? I was just never crazy about him, and I've explained why. Sorry, I’m just being honest here.

Now, let’s get back to the task at hand: praising Ted Allen. Yes, this blog is officially in love with Ted. He’s just a great representative of the modern gay man in this country—cultured, sophisticated, intelligent, and so on. That’s not to say that he’s the best (and only) representative. The gay community is very diverse, and everyone has a purpose and contributes something, but I just adore Ted Allen.




Fortunately, Ted is one of the judges on Bravo’s hit reality show Top Chef Season 3. Ted will join Tom, Padma, and Gail. And that just makes me so happy. We’ll get to see Ted every Wednesday. Thank goodness for Bravo. Also, if you’re a fan of Top Chef and/or Ted Allen, I encourage you to visit three very cool blogs: Dishin’ Dat, Blogging Top Chef, and Top Chef 2: They Cook, We Dish. These blogs will provide you with recaps, commentary, and lots of bitchery. It’s wonderful.

I guess you could consider this my first Top Chef 3 post. Yes, I’ll be blogging about this great show at least once a week. I won’t be doing full recaps, just commentary on various aspects of the show. I may dedicate a few posts to the magnificent Ted Allen. Hey, someone had to replace Tabs and Sally. And Ted is that someone!

Thanks For The Memories, Shear Genius

So, everyone’s favorite Bravo reality show Shear Genius has finally come to an end. If you’re looking for a recap of the finale, then you’re looking in the wrong place. If that's what you're looking for, then check out Eric’s hilarious recap on the Bravissimo blog. Good stuff!



Anyway, I’d like to share some of my general feelings and a few observations about the show. I think everyone in the blogosphere agrees that this show wasn’t your run-of-the-mill reality show. No! This show was all about the hair. There were, of course, a few bumps here and there. Some people seemed to lack interpersonal skills, while others were just plain weird. However, compared to other reality shows, this kind of stuff doesn’t qualify as drama. Although the whole Tabs vs. Tyson thing was kind of entertaining. Now, let’s scrutinize the geniuses and the judges.



Jaclyn Smith looked amazing on the finale. She was just radiant. And the woman is an excellent host/moderator. She was in control. She even contributed a few thoughtful comments during the deliberation in the finale. I think this was an educational experience for Jaclyn, too. Heidi Klum is no match for this angel. I’ll miss Jaclyn’s reactions to the stylists' odd behavior on the show. At first, I thought she just didn’t like interruptions. For example, she looked puzzled when Tabs started bashing Tyson. It was clear what Tabs was doing, but Jaclyn seemed disoriented. Was she expecting things to follow some sort of script? Was she looking for cue cards? It's a reality show, Jackie! I have no idea why you were surprised by a little drama. Sally, on the other hand, was all smiles. She loved the drama. Jaclyn also appeared moved by almost every loser’s goodbye speech; that was kind of cute. She would usually recover quickly and warn the stylists that any one of them could be next. Boy, she wasn’t kidding.



Is there anything cooler than Sally Hershberger? Well, yes—Tabs. But other than Tabs, no one can touch Sally. Yes, Sally was my favorite judge, and I’m not just saying that because she got to touch Meg Ryan’s head. Sally’s flat affect and use of the word “yummy” during the finale have earned her the title of coolest judge ever. It’s hard to be cool, but Sally makes it look so easy. Nina Garcia who?

My mind draws a blank when I try to think of good things to say about Michael Carl. I never really cared for the guy. Interestingly, He (and Sally) seemed a bit sedated during the finale. Hm, I guess Vidal’s presence really affected everyone on the show. They were all on their best behavior. Actually, the week before the finale, I remember thinking that Michael wasn’t too happy with Ben, and it showed during the finale. His embryo comment was just vicious. Was that really necessary, Michael? Come on. Ben is so harmless. I guess he felt the need to bitch slap Ben one last time just for old time’s sake.



If you’ve been reading my blog for the past few weeks, then you should know that I think the world of Tabatha Coffey. She’s a confident woman who doesn’t take bs from anyone. She has an aggressive personality and her hair styles were consistently hard-edged throughout the show. She gets extra points for being a lesbian. Hey, this is a gay blog, not as GAY as some other blogs, but gay nonetheless. Anyway, click here if you want to read an older post I dedicated to the hair witch (Tabs). I think I was sleep deprived when I wrote it. That actually explains a lot. Long live Tabs!



Daisy was a joy to watch every week. The Hialeah Sound Machine never apologized for being herself, and, of course, she shouldn’t. She’s loud; she’s Cuban; she’s queer; and she’s proud! Amen to that! I thought she was going to play it safe for the finale, but she did the exact opposite. She went nuts. I appreciate that fact that she did something different. However, it didn’t work out for her, and that's a shame. Also, I find it interesting that they were able to find two lesbian stylists to participate in the show. I guess there are more lesbian hairdressers out there than most would think.



I had a love/hate relationship with Ben throughout the show. This rocker from Illinois turned out to be the biggest sweetheart. I’m sure he can fight with the best of them, but he was a total gentleman from the start. He’s also quite the little sponge; yes, he’s a fast learner and that made all the difference in some of the challenges. Also, he was eager to please his clients and the judges, and that surely helped him make it to the final. Although I like Ben, I have to admit that I wasn’t pleased that he made it as far as he did. He’s one lucky guy. However, he did well in the finale. Oh, and how hot did he look throughout the final episode?



Anthony established himself as a contender from the start. He didn’t impress me all that much, but he did produce some consistently acceptable styles. And he saved the best for last. The judges made the right call by naming him the winner of the first season of Shear Genius. Ben’s inexperience and Daisy’s lack of time management (and foresight) helped Anthony secure the win. His precision cuts were very good.



So, I guess this is my last Shear Genius (season 1) post. It was fun watching the show and reading other blogs. And even though Rene didn’t really do much on the show, I will miss seeing his gorgeous face every Wednesday night. Now, it’s time to get ready for Top Chef 3. Yes!

Workout Reunion Special: Cause for Pause

First, I have to acknowledge that I’ve been neglecting to write about the Workout reunion special. Charlus over at Amuse Biatch would liken this type of behavior to child neglect. However, this child—the world of Jackie’s Sky Sport and Spa—is far from vulnerable and defenseless. Jackie Warner and her trainers have chiseled bodies and (very) healthy egos. Let’s just say these kiddies don’t need, nor do they want, any type of parental figure watching over them. Anyway, at the beginning of the reunion special, Andy Cohen asked Jackie an interesting question,

“When you watched your relationship with Mimi on the show last season, did it give you cause for pause?”

"Jackie responded, “Yes . . . the camera is a mirror."

So much happened on the show this season; seriously, we paused more times than I can remember. This season had it all—the good and the bad.



Reunions are usually supposed to be . . . warm and fuzzy. Of course, you’ll always have some obnoxious person who tries his or her best to spoil a lovely evening, but, for the most part, people are just happy to see old friends and acquaintances. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen here. As others have pointed out, Jackie appeared very distant and a bit stand-offish. She seemed somewhat indifferent to the fact that her trainers (friends?) were in the studio. Very interesting!



The one thing that really caught my attention was Jackie’s response to the “Jackie Gone Wild” clip. Andy mentioned that some straight women seem to be attracted to Jackie, and he asked her how she felt about that. Jesse offered the word powerful. And, without hesitation, Jackie agreed and added, “extremely powerful.” Is the addition of that adverb really necessary? We get the picture—making out and having sex with women left and right makes you feel POWERFUL (and adding the adverb extremely is just asking for trouble)! What exactly did she mean? Are women prizes to be won? A type of currency? Another notch on the proverbial belt? Who knows! To be honest, I shouldn’t really judge; I’m guilty of posting pictures of hot men and gorgeous women. Let’s face it; attractive people are fun to look at. I just find it interesting that Jackie would use that phrase to describe her feelings about women. Maybe that explains her odd behavior during the reunion special? Her brain must be masculinized to the point where forming strong relationships with others is close to impossible. I feel bad for Rebecca.





Clearly, I’m a huge fan of this show for various reasons. Although I don’t always agree with Jackie, I admire her strong work ethic and success. She is a smart business woman who knows what she wants and works hard to get it. She’s a great role model for gay men and women everywhere. Doug was also one of my favorites. Yeah, at first, I was seduced by his looks, but it became clear that he was more than just a pretty face with big muscles—he was a kind, gentle soul who reached out to others. While Jackie was busy adding more notches to her belt, Doug was offering hugs and advice to friends and clients in need. Allison over at Reality at Bravo thinks that focusing on Doug’s death was not respectful. I understand where she’s coming from. Using a tragedy like this for ratings is deplorable. However, I think the producers handled the whole situation very well. In fact, I was very pleased they shared glimpses of his life with us. He was a great human being. I’m not going to lie; Jesse ruffled my feathers from time to time. But, there’s a little place in my heart for Jesse Brune. He’s such a cutie. Sure, he’s often judgmental, at times immature and impulsive; but I think he’s a good person. Remember, no one’s perfect. At least Jesse is cognizant of his behavior, and that earns him extra points in my book.



Brian Peeler had me at hello. This southern hunk may suffer from occasional delusions of grandeur, but he has a beautiful heart. His love for Doug was truly touching. I guess there’s hope for straight men after all.

Workout #8: Season Finale

I find this image of Cheo and Brian Peeler very comforting. Brian had just told Cheo about a hummingbird that had landed on his hand a few days before Doug's memorial. That little bird represented the memory of Doug. “I’ll probably never find somebody like him in my entire life,” said Brian as he tried to fight the tears. Cheo couldn’t help it and started to cry. He instinctively approached Brian and both men embraced each other.



Brian has a strong personality, and he rubs people the wrong way. But from the very beginning, it was clear he had a lot of heart. Throughout this season, we saw him grow as a human being. I was moved by everything he had to say about Doug.



Jackie Warner and her trainers decided to have a memorial bike ride for Doug, who was passionate about cycling. They made their way to the beach and talked about their beloved friend, Doug Blasdell.



They all had stories tell. Doug was a great friend, a good listener, a gentle soul, and so much more. Even Jesse contributed some wonderful words, which was a pleasant surprise.



Listening to the trainers share their stories and watching the various clips of Doug reminds one of how fleeting life can be. But it also reminds one that life is a gift that should be enjoyed. Happiness is an emotional state that should never be taken for granted. Life doesn’t always make sense, but that shouldn’t stop us from enjoying every minute of it. Although I don’t think Jackie should date an employee, I can understand her desire to be with Rebecca. She seemed happy with Rebecca.



Helping a friend and others in need is another beautiful thing that can bring immense satisfaction to everyone involved. Jesse made every effort to help a friend, and that kind of emotional support is worth so much.



The episode ended on a high note. The Skylab participants had their final weigh-ins, and Jackie proudly announced that the group had done a phenomenal job. Sure, they lost weight, but I think the best reward was showing everyone how hard they were willing to work to achieve a goal. And that’s really what matters the most.



So, life is a journey that has ups and downs. We often complain about the bad and fail to appreciate the good. I think Doug was someone who tried to see the best in everyone and everything. I was very pleased that the producers decided to save the best for last. Doug’s compassion is truly inspirational.



The fine folks at Bravissimo have posted some wonderful pictures of Doug, as well as some very kind words. Click here to read their post.

Workout #7: Walking on Egg Shells

Well, the season finale of Bravo’s Workout is just around the corner. Before that time comes, I’d like to scrutinize last week’s episode of this cool reality show. As mentioned in a previous post, Jackie Warner decided to take a few days off to visit her mom, Karen, in Fairborn Ohio, and she left Brian in charge of the gym. Her goal was to reconnect with her mother. She also decided to accept an invitation to visit her old high school. Her good friend Erin traveled with her and provided much needed emotional support.



Jackie compared her relationship with her mother to walking on egg shells. She also discussed how uncomfortable she felt being back home. She described how hard it was being a gay teenager in a small town. As soon as Jackie arrived at her mother’s house, the mood of the show changed dramatically. There were a few scenes that focused on Karen. Unlike some of the trainers, she didn’t appear to crave attention. She discussed her relationship with her daughter, and those moments of candor were quite refreshing. It felt more like an unscripted documentary—just great!



Jackie, Erin, and Karen had an interesting conversation on their way to Jackie’s old high school. Karen mentioned that she had lived in California for a while, and Jackie said that she would have preferred growing up in that area (in Santa Monica, specifically). Erin made a great point, but “you’d be completely different!” Jackie agreed, “what formed me was my absolute drive to get out of this region.”



Jackie talked to a large group of students about growing up in Fairborn; she said that life was about reinvention. Her biggest point was that life is filled with second chances—great opportunities to start over. After Jackie’s talk, students approached her and asked for her autograph. And Karen watched with amazement as students lined up for a chance to meet Jackie. She later told Jackie how proud she was to see her (grown) child receiving this kind of attention; Jackie hugged her. It was such a special moment. The healing process had begun.



Jackie’s next challenge was to come to terms with her father’s death. She described how difficult it was to have a father who was mentally ill. She also said that she essentially tried to pretend that he didn’t exist. She made a bold move and went to her father’s gravesite. Her mother was by her side.



At the cemetery, Jackie and Karen talked about Jackie’s father. “He was a casualty of the Vietnam War”, said Karen. She described the funeral. Jackie realized that she had a lot in common with her mother. Sadly, we often fail to realize how similar we are to our parents, so it was nice to watch her acknowledge that.

Karen also made some other interesting comments about homosexuality. Karen mentioned that stressful pregnancies could contribute to homosexuality (that hasn’t been proven, of course). “So it is your fault,” joked Jackie; she was pleased that her mother had actually given thought to the potential causes of homosexuality. Karen went on to describe Jackie’s father. “He was crazy about you,” she said. Jackie started to cry. She hugged her mother and one gets the sense that mother and daughter were reconnecting. Mission accomplished!



Jackie’s trip to Fairborn was very emotional. I’m sure most viewers would agree. A major theme of this particular episode was the importance of family. We often take our parents and siblings for granted, and it’s easy to criticize or avoid our loved ones if they disagree with us. However, it takes real strength to communicate with family members and try to find some common ground; compromise isn’t a bad thing. Jackie’s experience also raises the issue of growing up gay in small town America. It is difficult; there’s not question about that. But as Jackie herself acknowledged, it made her who she is today. Life isn’t always easy. For many gay men and women, there are different obstacles and challenges that seem to stand in the way of success and happiness. This world can be cruel. However, these experiences serve an important purpose: they make us stronger.

The Idea of Touch and Group Dynamics

I attended a friend’s art exhibition last night and was pleased to see many familiar faces. My friend, a young artist, greeted me at the door of the art gallery; he was visibly excited and anxious. Who wouldn’t be? After engaging in a little small talk for 20 minutes or so, I walked into the gallery to enjoy the fruits of his labor.

Large Jar
Korean Yi Dynasty (17th Century)

For most people, deciding what is beautiful or artistic happens in a matter of milliseconds after seeing some object; seriously, it’s almost an automatic response. We often find if difficult to articulate why we like or loathe something. Experiencing art is, of course, a very subjective thing. Our perception of objects (or ideas) is influenced by past experience and present motivational state.

My friend was exploring the idea of art that could stimulate (the senses and mind), without actually coming into contact with the body’s sensory structures. For example, some pieces seemed to resemble chewing gum and similar objects; I guess the observer was supposed to imagine how the object would feel in his or her mouth. Other objects were created to stimulate our touch receptors—or, the idea of touch, as we couldn’t actually physically touch the objects. His use of rich textures and familiar fabrics was very effective.

After the exhibition, a group of us wined and dined at a nice little restaurant that wasn’t too far from the gallery. It was an interesting mix of people. After dinner, we headed to an “upscale” bar. Most of us were academics, artists, musicians, and writers. Actually, there was only one writer, a young woman from California. Gay men were very well represented. As I enjoyed the company of my friends, acquaintances, and a few new people, I noticed a few things.

First, my friends and I have been through this whole routine many times before. Most of us are in our late twenties and early thirties, but there are a few people who are in their late thirties. We attend these types of events on a regular basis—various art shows, music recitals and concerts, and so on. In fact, I’m a member of a choral group. We perform about three times a year (yes, I have to wear a tux), and my friends are always there to support me and the chorus. It’s interesting that my friends and I have become very accustomed to this sort of thing. We seem to follow a similar script every time. We’ve become somewhat predictable, and the conversations are usually the same.

Thank goodness for young blood, those new individuals eager to become a part of our group. To be honest, we aren’t a perfect cohesive group. We’re more like a collection of like-minded people. Friendships seem to develop almost over night, and they die just as quickly. And there are times when I only hang out with a select few. I'm a reserved person. Some of the new people are younger. The exciting part is learning more about them and trying to establish some common ground. But there is no question that they are entering our world and must adapt to our particular rules and idiosyncrasies. Their ass kissing skills are quite impressive. It’s fun to watch them perform.

One of the newbies, a 24-year-old Latin guy, approached me at the bar. He told me about his life is Miami and a recent trip to Europe. He made a few silly comments, and I laughed when appropriate. I’m a good listener. As he talked, one thing came to mind: I wondered what it would be like to touch his body—his neck, a bicep, lips. Yes, the idea of touch can be very stimulating. The fun eventually came to an end; we hugged, exchanged numbers, and went our separate ways. God, I love Latin men.

Workout #7: Boys Will Be Boys

My goodness, there’s so much to blog about. A lot of stuff happened. I guess I’ll start by writing about the boys. Yes, in this episode of Workout, the producers did everything in their power to appeal to their gay male viewers. I love Bravo!

I’ll start by discussing Brian Peeler. I’m not going to lie; I like Southern men, and this hottie from North Carolina gets me all worked up. Of course, no one’s perfect. Peeler’s arrogance seems to rub people the wrong way.



In this episode, Jackie decided to take a few days off to visit her mom (more on that later!) and she left Brian in charge of the gym. I know what you’re thinking. Is this woman crazy? Maybe she is. Anyway, Brian appeared happier than Anderson Cooper at a Scissor Sister’s concert. It was cute and annoying, all at the same time.



Brian immediately changed his behavior—as do most men who are given some degree of power; he spent most of his time walking around the gym trying to look important (or sleeping in Jackie’s office). The women were a little taken aback by Jackie’s decision to leave him in charge. I loved Erika’s reaction to Peeler’s sudden change in behavior:

“Are you bored? And why are you lurking all over the gym?”

Good one, Erika! Good one! Surprisingly, Rebecca also delivered a few great lines. She said,

“if I had a bad child, I’d put them in charge a lot because something about being in charge makes you rise to the occasion. And you’re not as acting out . . . it’s like reverse psychology.”

Rebecca gets extra points for using her noggin, which is always a good thing.



Now, on to Jesse. He’s becoming one of my favorite trainers, and he never disappoints. In this episode, he was introduced to a client who happened to be a male “model.” Jesse was more than happy to take on this client, and he added a new title to his growing list of titles and accolades. In addition to being the Lesbian Whisperer, he is now the Cardio King. This guy kills me!



So, his client eventually showed up wearing a tight black muscle shirt with the word COLT printed across the chest area. I couldn’t stop laughing when Jesse asked him what that meant. Oh, Jesse, you’re not fooling anyone. You know good and well what that stands for.



His new client explained that COLT was a studio that specializes in erotic entertainment (for gay men). And a few minutes after explaining this, he decided to take off his shirt. Jesse looked a little flustered, and his client noticed. That whole segment looked like something straight out of a COLT “film.” I loved when Jesse asked him for some photos.

After their hot workout, the guys had coffee at a nearby coffee shop. The “model” switched from porn stud mode to serious (gay man on a mission) mode. He talked about the difficulties gay men and lesbians face in the military. Jesse admitted that he had no clue what it was like to be in that kind of situation. And I think it’s great that this guy used his 15 minutes to talk about an issue that’s affecting many people in our community. I think it’s safe to assume he’s not a Republican, and thank goodness because I was starting to worry that all gay porn stars support the Republican Party. Thanks a lot Matt Sanchez.



The last few minutes of the show were really emotional. The group reacted to the sad news that one of their own, Doug, was not recovering from his illness; he was actually getting worse. All hope seemed lost; and we all know that there's no happy ending. I was really touched by Brian’s reaction. You could tell that he cherished his relationship with Doug. And I think it shows great character when a (straight) man let’s his guard down like that. He cried. Some may say that crying is a sign of weakness. My grandfather used to say that men don’t cry. Well, I think he and others who believe that are wrong. Sometimes we need to cry. It’s an often misunderstood part of our emotional repertoire. Extreme sadness and helplessness can be detrimental to our well being, but crying serves an important function. It’s a normal reaction to sad news. It’s part of our coping strategy. And it’s a beautiful thing. As I watched the trainers react to the sad news, their tears made one thing very clear: Doug Blasdell was a great human being, and he we will be missed.

A Gold Star for Tabatha

One can only imagine what it was like the day Tabatha, one of the stylists on Shear Genius, was born in the city of Surfers Paradise, Australia. She probably developed at an unusually fast pace and hated other children her age. Poor Tabatha probably grew up hearing her mother say the same phrase day after day: “stop making the other school children cry.” It must have been hard growing up with an ego the size of neighboring New Zealand.

Tabatha eventually left Australia and ended up in . . . New Jersey? Hm, yes, that appears to be the case (according to tvbuddy.com). Anyway, Tabatha currently owns a salon and travels all over the world as a stylist for Joico International. She had it all, but Tabatha wanted more. As mentioned before, she is a stylist on Bravo’s new reality show Shear Genius.

Now, I don’t have to preach to the choir. Tabatha is a force to be reckoned with. Tyson, that silly, silly man, tried to bring her down, but he did not succeed. Tabatha laughs in the face of danger. She doesn’t seem to experience basic emotions like compassion and fear. No. She is a diva! Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to announce that Tabatha has earned a gold star and the title of “coolest Australian on American reality television.” Here at Blog by Cosmo Marius, a gold star is reserved for all that is great in this world. Congratulations, Tabatha. You deserve this recognition and more.



Before moving on, please note that Tabatha is not deformed. I repeat, she is not deformed. I inadvertently erased one of her ears. Sorry, I'm still learning how to use photoshop. Anyway, my dearest Tabatha, there’s more. Please accept the adulation from your compatriots.


Olivia Newton-John, you must bow down to the great diva. And, yes, “she’s the one that you want.”


Hugh Jackman, you, too, must bow down . . . and feel free to take off your shirt at any time. That type of behavior is encouraged here at Blog by Cosmo Marius.


Nicole Kidman, you know the routine; please bow down . . . and maybe you can learn a thing or two from Tabatha.


Paul Hogan, please take off your hat and bow down . . . Hm, I wonder what Paul Hogan is up to these days.


I want to make it clear that no creature is exempt. Even the notorious dingo must bow down . . .


All the kangaroos that roam the great Australian continent must also bow down . . .


The adorable koala must also bow down . . . Seriously, how cute are these little guys?

Ok, I think you get the picture: I want Tabatha to win! I’ll conclude this ass kissing session with a picture of Tabatha. She’s one tough cookie, and that’s why I like her.



Give ‘em hell, Tabatha.

Workout #6: The Cyclic Nature of Jesse Brune

Oh, Jesse, I just don’t know where to begin with this man. He really pissed me off last week. Actually, he didn’t. I’m kind of like Matt Lorenz. I’ll say that I’m emotionally aroused, but my autonomic nervous system is totally chill. So, I guess I was bothered by his actions last week. Yes, that’s more like it.

Anyway, last week he called Rebecca a whore. Now, I’m not Rebecca’s biggest fan. She annoys me at times. What bothers me is that Jesse should know better; most gay men should know better. I’ll give him credit for calling her a whore to her face, but the guy needs to calm down and think before speaking. How would he feel if someone called him a fag? I think it’s the same exact thing. It’s just not cool.



In this episode, Jesse approached Rebecca and apologized for his actions. The two little devils hugged and had a Kodak moment, and we’re left to wonder whether this interaction was really genuine. This is reality TV land after all. Anyway, I’m glad they at least talked about it and appear to be moving on.



It’s also interesting that Jesse is becoming very predictable. His behavior follows a cycle that seems to occur every few episodes.

1. The Event: the cycle starts with some event. For example, Doug made some comment about Jesse in an interview with Afterellen.com. Jesse was furious. He ignored poor Doug for weeks. More recently, Jackie started messing around with Rebecca, and that really got to Jesse.

2. Drama: this is Jesse’s forte. The boy loves to stir up trouble. And he lets people know what’s on his mind.

3. Resolution stage: Jesse usually cools down and eventually resolves any interpersonal problems. He did it with Doug. And how cute was Doug when he said to Jesse—you wanna go home with me? Oh, that was just a golden moment. Nothing says I forgive you like a good shag. And, more recently, Jesse made amends with Rebecca. And so ended another cycle. Now, I know most things in life follow this same kind of pattern, but no one does it like Jesse. The boy knows how to work it for the camera.

The end of one cycle can only mean one thing: another is just waiting to spring into action. It almost seems too perfect, almost contrived. I wonder who’s next. I’m not good at making predictions. Maybe Jesse will butt heads with Brian. Who knows? I guess we’ll have to stay tuned to find out.

Rene Fris is One Hot Scandinavian Man

I present to you the gorgeous Rene Fris. According to tvbuddy.com, Rene moved from Denmark to New York City in 1999. He's worked for some of the best salons in the country. And the rest, as they say, is history. He's currently the salon director (and judge) on Bravo's new reality show Shear Genius. As you can probably tell, I heart Rene. A lot! Oh, and how cute does he look in that Karate uniform? So butch! Hot!