A Very Queer Post

Another day, another blog-a-thon. Wait! This isn’t your average blog-a-thon. Not at all. On Monday, November 19th, Queering The Apparatus will be hosting its very first Queer Film Blog-A-Thon. Finally! An opportunity for gay bloggers all across the blogosphere to express their love for queer cinema. The following is my contribution to this wonderful blog-a-thon.



I’ve always enjoyed great films. However, like most members of the LGBT community, I’ve often been disappointed with the dearth of gay characters and stories in mainstream Hollywood Films. Fortunately, there are directors, writers, actors, and producers who manage to create amazing cinematic treasurers for us (the gays), often with limited resources and support. Thank goodness for independent films and passionate artists.



In the film The Sum of Us, Russell Crowe plays a regular bloke who just happens to be gay. I debated whether to mention this film. To be honest, it is far from being perfect. However, I liked Russell’s character (Jeff) a lot. The great thing about this film is that is doesn’t conform to tired stereotypes. Jeff is straight acting, and he has a father who offers him unconditional love and support. And that’s a beautiful thing.



I realize that coming out stories are an important part of gay culture, but they’re becoming something of a cliché. And coming out films usually annoy the hell out of me, especially when they’re poorly made. The film Get Real is an exception. There are other great films that deal with the same subject matter, of course, but I connected with the film’s protagonist, Steven Carter; and I think Ben Silverstone did a great job of brining this character to life. The film is conventional in many ways, but Steven’s courage is quite remarkable. He wrote an inspiring essay that was published in the school newspaper. For a while, the author of the essay remained anonymous. But in the end, Steven addressed the entire student body, as well as his family, and acknowledged that he had written the essay. The pen, as they say, is mightier than the sword.



I enjoyed Brokeback Mountain. It certainly deserves to be praised. This film, by the wonderful director Ang Lee, brought a love affair between two men to the silver screen. Of course, other films have done that before, but Brokeback Mountain did what most gay films rarely every do—it managed to break into the mainstream. And it has secured a special place in American popular culture. I also think Annie Proulx, Larry McMurtry, Diana Ossana, and Ang Lee should be commended for making this film a reality. It’s always nice to have some straight people on our side.



Queer cinema doesn’t get better than John Cameron Mitchell’s Hedwig and the Angry Inch. This film is one of my favorite films (top 10 material). John plays a transgender performer who leads an extraordinary life. Everything about the film is wonderful. John does a great job of introducing the protagonist, Hedwig. Within the first 15 minutes, I fell in love with Hedwig. John is a gifted director. There’s no question about that. The music is wonderful and the film is just enchanting from start to finish. Of all films mentioned in this post, I think Hedwig and the Angry Inch is the most beautiful. It is also visually and intellectually provocative.




I love John Waters. This post wouldn’t be complete without a John Water’s film. And Pink Flamingos is my favorite film by this great director. I know some—or maybe most—people find it crass and unacceptable, but this film represents so much to me and other members of the LGBT community. Pink Flamingos is a film that refuses to conform to societal standards of decency. It laughs in the face of social conformity. Divine’s character, Babs Johnson, is confident and defiant. It’s hard for the average gay person to exhibit this degree of self-confidence in the real (straight) world, which is why Babs Johnson is a breath of fresh air. Of course, one shouldn’t celebrate the violence in the film, but the violence is part of what makes it work so well. It’s all about defiance! Interestingly, John Waters often says that he wants the audience to just relax and have a good time. Well, mission accomplished. His films are certainly very entertaining, but there’s so much more to Pink Flamingos than meets the eye.



Pink Flamingos was my favorite gay film for a very long time. That changed after I saw Gods and Monsters, a film about James Whale, a film director who made horror films in the 1930s. The accomplished stage actor Ian McKellen was brilliant as James. Lynn Redgrave also delivered a great performance, and Brendan Fraser was effective as Clayton Boone, the object of Whale’s interest in the film. Gods and Monsters explores the last few moments of James Whale’s life, before he committed suicide in 1957. James lived with depression, memory problems, and other conditions that lead him to take his own life. He was 67.

Gay cinema and culture seem obsessed with youth and beauty. This blog is no exception. I post pictures of hot actors and models from time to time. However, this film focuses on the inner struggles of an aging gay man. That, I think, makes the film stand out in the world of gay cinema. Older gay men are often portrayed as asexual figures in many films. In God and Monsters, James tries to seduce a young straight man. He shows us that sexuality and the need for companionship are strong motivators that exist in all human beings, young and old. But the main reason I adore this film is because of Ian McKellen. His performance is the heart and soul of this film. The people behind Gods and Monsters get extra points from me because they cast a real gay man to play a gay character on the big screen. What a novel concept!

The Problem With Perez

Sometimes the gay media pisses me off in a major way. What did they do now? Well, Out.com recently recognized Perez Hilton as one of the most influential gay people in this country. He even got the royal treatment by the folks at Out.com (check out the following picture), and that's what I object to.



Now, in all fairness to Mr. Lavandeira (aka Perez Hilton), I have to acknowledge that his blog, Perezhilton.com, is one of the most popular blogs on the web. Is he influential? Well, I'll give him some credit. He gets a lot of attention from the main stream media. He was on the view and he appears on MTV and other popular news and entertainment outlets on a regular basis. So, from a very objective perspective, I'd say that he is influential. But does that mean he should be honored by the gay media?

Funny thing is, he is every activist's dream. He's out, proud, and successful. Oh, but it gets better. The man doesn't hide his sexuality. Many have seen a side of Perez Hilton that's too disgusting to describe on this blog. My point is: he is not asexual. I read somewhere that's he's getting his own show. That's impressive. So, should we kiss his ass? I don't think so. I contend that he is not an asset to the LGBT community. I'm sorry, but simply being out and proud shouldn't be some sort of badge of honor. I think it's great that's he's out. It's always wonderful to see someone who's comfortable with his or her sexuality, but we shouldn't just shower someone with praise for being out. He is not a good role model for LGBT people in this (or any) country. He's a smart internet personality. Good for him, but why does the gay media have to jump on the "I love Perez" band wagon.

I'm fully aware that Perez is a part of our community, whether we like it or not. The LGBT community is not a monolith. We are a very diverse group of people, and Perez will always have a place in our community. My beef is with the gay media and the writers who work for and/or are associated with them. These individuals often serve as representatives of the entire LGBT community. And that's a shame. They only represent a segment of our community. It's interesting that Perez Hilton is Hispanic American but contributes nothing significant to the plight of gay men and Lesbians of Hispanic descent. I'm not saying Perez is obligated to do anything; I'm just pointing out that he's just a successful American blogger who has nothing meaningful to contribute to any cause. Where are other gay people of color? Don't they exist? They have a very different perspective that's rarely heard. How about gay people who can't be out for various reasons. This large group of gay men and lesbians may not be out to the world, but they are on the internet consuming gay culture. They are a part of our community.

Happy National Coming Out Day

There’s More Than One Way To Be A Sissy.

The always wonderful GayProf wrote an interesting piece about the media’s obsession with the Larry Craig scandal and what that may tell us about how society views gays. It’s an excellent post. In that post, GayProf provided a link to another post by Kenneth Hill. I thought Kenneth made some excellent points. However, I didn’t buy it. Actually, it kind of irritated me. And here’s a passage from that post that essentially sums up the tone of the article,

Basically . . . people hate a sissy, aka anyone who acts too gay (read: too effeminate).

Please note that Kenneth discussed other issues and provided an overall compelling argument. But I found it devoid of true objectivity. In fact, this very statement and other comments made in the post seem to place gays into two categories—sissies and non-sissies. And, according to Kenneth, in order for gays to be free, we all need to accept our sissies. That’s a good point, but, again, I have major issue with this and other statements.

First of all, as most probably know but tend to forget, gay people are a very diverse group. The sissies that Kenneth speaks of probably represent a small minority of the gay population. Interestingly, this small sample seems to get a lot of attention. More about that a little later. My major beef with Kenneth’s piece is that he seems to ignore the fact that there’s more than one way to be a sissy, so to speak. Relative to many straight men, I’d be considered a big ol’ sissy. Now, that doesn’t mean I’m more effeminate than a fabulous drag queen. I’m actually considered straight-acting by most, but I will never deny that I have female-typical traits and interests. In fact, I celebrate those traits. I mean, have you read my blog? Check out the banner and some of the side bar pics.

I also don’t get what he means by too effeminate. I mean, I know what he’s talking about, but, again, I find that phrase a little off the mark. Gay men are first and foremost living, breathing mammals, and, in all sexually reproducing species, diversity is the rule rather than the exception. Sorry, I study animal behavior for a living; please bear with me. Anyway, my point is: Effeminate gay men are as diverse as any group of human beings or animals, for that matter. Whoever came up with this sissy/non-sissy dichotomy is just foolish and lazy.

Ok, I’ll admit that generalizing and keeping things simple can often be very effective and desirable, something John Kerry should know by now. However, I expect more from intelligent gay men. Why? Because these men are near and dear to my heart. And I have to say that I found it quite objectionable that Kenneth lumped Carson Kressley and Chris Crocker in the same category. Carson Kressley and youtube sensation Chris Crocker may seem identical on the surface, but when you really start to compares these two gay men, you will immediately see that they are as different as night and day. Chris seems to enjoy making vulgar comments, dancing provocatively, and doing other questionable things. Casron, on the other hand, has established himself as a respected television personality. His quippy comments and success as a fashionista have made him what he is today.

Finally, I’d like to comment about the homophobic statements directed at Chris Crocker. Of course, I think that’s deplorable. And it is a sad reminder that gay men who don’t conform to societal standards—gender norms and other rules—are often subjected to verbal and/or physical abuse. However, the behavior exhibited by Chris should not be considered gay-typical. Even straight women are subjected to hateful comments if they appear “too” sexual. In fact, Paris Hilton, a woman I can’t stand, is often bashed throughout the blogosphere. Yes, the media may often shower gay men like Chris Crocker with the wrong type of attention, and society can be harsh. There’s no question about that. But society also praises certain effeminate gay men (see Tim Gunn). What I’m trying to say is that being effeminate (or even too effeminate) isn’t the same thing as being histrionic (and effeminate). Again, there’s more than one way to be a sissy.

Europa Europa

When I first learned of Emma’s blog-a-thon, I immediately thought of Sir Ian McKellen’s performance in the wonderful film Gods and Monsters, my favorite “gay” film of all time. Actually, it’s one of my favorite films of all time. Period. Emma had challenged us to write about a life changing performance. But, the more I thought about it, the more it became clear to me that this particular performance (and film) did not change my life in a drastic way. Let me explain. I was in my early 20s when I saw this film for the first time. And I was moved by it; it was a great cinematic experience. However, at that age and still today, it took a collection of things—movies, songs, books, and so on—to change my life in any meaningful way. A single movie just doesn’t seem to do the trick anymore.



My life wasn’t always that way. In fact, I saw a film in the early 90s that changed my life in a major way. That film was Europa Europa. This and other films (e.g., anything by Almodovar) made me fall in love with foreign cinema, and that’s why I’ve decided to write about this particular film. Thus, the performance that changed my life—my viewing habits, to be exact—was Marco Hofschneider’s portrayal of Solomon Perel (Solly) in Europa Europa.



As mentioned before, I first saw Europa Europa in the early 90s; I loved it without question. I saw it again last year, and I still enjoyed it immensely. However, the film is not perfect; of course, the flaws that seem so salient now meant little to me a decade ago. Marco Hofschneider’s Solly was born into a typical Jewish family and lived in Germany during the late 1930s and early 1940s, a tumultuous time for Europe. Solly was an adolescent when his family was forced to flee Germany after his sister’s death at the hands of an anti-Semitic mob at the outset of World War II. His family relocated to Poland.



However, Solly's stay in Poland was short lived, as Hitler’s forces invaded Poland in 1939. Solly’s parents decided to stay behind but encouraged their two sons to run far, far away. After much hesitation, Solly and his brother obeyed. During a frantic attempt to board one of several ships that could take them to a safer area, the brothers inadvertently boarded different ships and were separated. They called out to each other, but, sadly, they would not see each other again for years.

Solly ended up in a Russian orphanage and joined a youth organization that promoted communist ideals. He even became fluent in Russian. I should point out that, after seeing this film as a kid, I thought I was a communist for several months. It was a phase. Anyway, Solly was taught to reject religion and the exploitation of the lower classes. At one point he gave the following speech to his peers,

The bourgeois keep the people in ignorance . . . encourage religious superstitions, and with the help of the popes, priests, and rabbis, they smother all revolutionary instinct . . . we call religion the opium of the masses

Then, after two years in Russia, Solly’s life was again turned upside down by the Germans. He was forced to flee the orphanage with his peers and instructors. As before, he was left behind by unfortunate circumstances. He was arrested by German soldiers, but, luckily, he managed to fool them into thinking he was a German boy forced to live in a Russian orphanage. He spoke German perfectly, and he easily befriended the German soldiers



He would spend years pretending to be a German adolescent. And he was eventually sent to Germany, where he was enrolled in one of Hitler’s Youth Schools, surrounded by people who hated all Jews. Things went from bad to worse. He was unable to make love to his girlfriend Leni (Julie Delpy), out of fear of being discovered. One look at his circumcised penis and that would be the end of poor Solly. At one point in the movie, Solly even tried tying his foreskin, to prevent it from slipping back. It was a very painful experience, but his attempt was not successful. Fortunately, he was eventually able to escape. He was reunited with his brother and they made their way to Israel.

This film motivated me to see other foreign films. In fact, at one point in the 90s, I foolishly told my friends that I would only see International films from that point forward. Almodovar! Bunuel! Fellini! And others, of course! Ah, I was very impressionable at that age.

Marco Hofschneider gave a solid performance that truly moved me. The film was based on the real life of Solomon Perel. Marco’s portrayal of Solly really affected me in a way that’s very difficult to articulate. Solly was forced to pretend to be something he wasn’t. He was forced to listen to lectures and read literature that praised the Nordic phenotype and belittled Jewish people and culture—his heritage.

Although I’ve never experienced anything like what the real life Solomon Perel had to endure, I connected with Hofschneider’s Solly. As a gay person, I spent many years pretending to be something I wasn’t. Even after I came to terms with my sexuality, I remained in the closet for many years. I was silent as the people around me made hateful comments about gays.

The great thing about Solomon’s story is that he survived; he somehow managed to overcome all that hardship and psychological stress. More importantly, his experience made him stronger. He was a fighter. I think I’m a lot like Solly. I grew up in a conservative community in Texas. But, just like Solly and many gay men and women around the world, I'm a fighter.

Who Wants To Be Normal Anyway?

Inspired by GayProf, my original idea was to blog about Gay Pride and what it means to me. Well, I’ve decided to go a different direction for various reasons. First, I’m not really in a gay pride sort of mood. I live in North Florida, and there isn’t much of a gay community in the All-American city I currently call home, which means that there isn’t going to be a pride parade any time soon. There are, however, a few events at local bars and clubs, which is nice, but these events are nothing out of this world. Also, I’m not the most outgoing person on the planet; I’m actually quite reserved.

So, instead of writing about gay pride, I’d like to write about a topic that has always been on my mind since I accepted myself as a gay man: the idea of homosexuality as an abnormal condition. Before the 1970s, the American Psychiatric Association (APA) classified homosexuality as a mental disorder. Fortunately, in 1973, the APA changed its position on homosexuality, declaring that homosexuality was no longer to be considered deviant behavior.

Many scientists, writers, and activists contributed, both directly and indirectly, to this momentous event. Alfred Kinsey provided data showing the full spectrum of sexual behavior. Yep, homosexuality was alive and well in the 40s and 50s. His findings were very controversial at that moment in time, and I suspect many Americans would still be surprised today by what he reported. Psychologist Evelyn Hooker interviewed many gay men and suggested that homosexuality was not pathological. And there are many more examples.

The most compelling event, I think, took place at the APA annual meeting in Dallas, TX in 1972. A doctor by the name of John Fryer, wearing a face mask, addressed the APA membership. He discussed candidly the difficulties he faced as a gay doctor in a discipline that considered homosexuality to be a mental disorder. I’m sure many APA members were moved by Fryer’s story. And the rest, as they say, is history. As mentioned before, the APA modified its stance on homosexuality.



I had a heated discussion with a close gay friend about what this all means. My friend believes that homosexuality is a natural state and romantic love between members of the same sex is completely normal. Now, let me just say that I’ve always considered myself a very objective person. So, of course, I disagreed with him. I wasn’t sure what he meant by natural. If, by natural, he meant that homosexuality is a product of nervous system function, then I’d agree that homosexuality is natural. His use of the word normal also bothered me. Again, if normal refers to homosexuality as a product of nervous system function, then, again, I’d agree with him. However, when most people talk about homosexuality, they’re probably talking about the social aspects of behavior. And, from that perspective, homosexuality is clearly not normal behavior.

The idea that homosexuality is abnormal may sound quite unappealing, but, from a macro (societal) perspective, it’s kind of true. Heterosexuality is the norm; that’s just the way it is. Now, please know that I’m more than secure with my sexuality and identity as a homosexual. So, I’m not saying that homosexuality should be considered a mental disorder. Fortunately, the APA rejected that idea in the 70s. I’m just saying that being different (abnormal?) is a reality that most of us, gay or straight, have to live with on a daily basis. Even straight people struggle to conform to societal rules, real or imagined.

Being different is both a blessing and a curse. Rejection and contempt are always hard to deal with, but, for the most part, I feel very fortunate to be a gay man. My (abnormal) condition has allowed me to experience empathy for other human beings. My condition has enabled me to view the world from a very unique perspective that few will ever know. My condition has fueled my intellectual curiosity and passion for neuroscience and behavioral science research. And the list goes on.

Yes, I’m more than happy with being different—abnormal. I think I’ve benefited greatly from being gay. However, it should be noted that most of us, gay or straight, are different from the average person in many ways—race, ethnicity, religion, and so on. And these differences make me question the notion of normalcy. Anyway, this post focuses too much on the differences, but, of course, I have a lot in common with the average straight person, a fact that shouldn’t be neglected. Honestly, it's just hard being a human being. Period. I’ll save those comments for another post.

Happy International Weblogger’s Day

So, one of my coworkers is driving me nuts. She’s a nice person and I can tolerate her most of the time, but she’s one of the laziest individuals I’ve ever met. Seriously, this girl doesn’t know the meaning of the word motivation. It’s a miracle she shows up to work fully clothed. Yeah, I had a terrible day at work. As Jinxy would say, I need a drink!

Anyway, enough of that. It’s time to celebrate International Weblogger’s Day! Yay! Yes, I was tagged by a lovely gal named Allison who maintains an awesome blog called Reality on Bravo. Stop by her site and show some love. She deserves it. Seriously, you can always count on Allison to do the dirty work for you. She posts all kinds of stuff about Bravo (e.g., recaps, pictures, and news). She knows it all.

So, I’m supposed to list five reasons I love to blog, and they are as follows:

1. I’m addicted to Bravo reality television. Yes, it’s true. It’s both a blessing and a curse. I watch Bravo TV whenever possible. My all-time favorite Bravo reality TV episode is the Project Runway Season 1 finale. Seriously, I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve seen that sucker. Crazy! I just love sharing my thoughts about my favorite Bravo reality shows. And blogging lets me do just that.

2. I blog to keep in touch with family and friends. Actually, my mother, brothers, and some members of my extended family used to read my blog. Then, at some point, they just stopped. Ouch, that really hurts. Whatever. Apparently, they’ve got better things to do. Fortunately, I still have friends who read my blog. And, of course, I have to give credit to the person who inspired me to start blogging in the first place, and his name is Killervirgo. He’s a very good friend of mine—we met in Buffalo, NY and were college buddies back in the day (like 5 years ago?). Good times! Thanks for supporting my blog, Killervirgo. You rock! To my family, thanks for nothing. You’re so lucky I believe in unconditional love.

3. I blog because I’m a gay guy with something to say. Yeah, as a member of an often misunderstood minority group, I sometimes feel the need to share my thoughts and experiences with the world. And this blog has given me the opportunity to do that. I’ve also had the pleasure of reading other blogs that are maintained/written by gay men and women. It’s great to be in such good company.

4. I blog because it’s a great way to learn from others. Yeah, I love receiving feedback from other people. Everyone has their own unique perspective, and I try my very best to understand where people are coming from, so to speak. You’d be surprised; sometimes, one person’s comment can actually change my opinion about a topic. So, when people talk, I do listen. Well, that’s not entirely true; I usually ignore my annoying coworker, but I promise to listen to my readers and fellow bloggers.

5. I blog because it’s FUN! Yep, blogging about reality television and various aspects of pop culture is just plain fun! And that’s why I do this.

I apologize for posting this really late. Seriously, it’ll cease to be International Weblogger’s Day in less than an hour. Anyway, I’d like to thank Allison for thinking of me. So, now I have to tag five other bloggers. I know it’s too late to do this, but I’m going to do it anyway. I wish I could tag everyone one on my “It” list, but I can’t. So, I’d like to recognize the following blogs: And, You Are?, Dishin’ Dat, Damsel in Progress, Center of Gravitas, and Electronic Cerebrectomy. . . wait, I’d also like to recognize Jinxy, My New Plaid Pants, and Lazarus West (he was already tagged by Allison, but I have to recognize the great Laz). Anyway, I encourage all of my readers—all 5 or 6 of you—to visit these blogs. You can thank me later.

Workout #7: Walking on Egg Shells

Well, the season finale of Bravo’s Workout is just around the corner. Before that time comes, I’d like to scrutinize last week’s episode of this cool reality show. As mentioned in a previous post, Jackie Warner decided to take a few days off to visit her mom, Karen, in Fairborn Ohio, and she left Brian in charge of the gym. Her goal was to reconnect with her mother. She also decided to accept an invitation to visit her old high school. Her good friend Erin traveled with her and provided much needed emotional support.



Jackie compared her relationship with her mother to walking on egg shells. She also discussed how uncomfortable she felt being back home. She described how hard it was being a gay teenager in a small town. As soon as Jackie arrived at her mother’s house, the mood of the show changed dramatically. There were a few scenes that focused on Karen. Unlike some of the trainers, she didn’t appear to crave attention. She discussed her relationship with her daughter, and those moments of candor were quite refreshing. It felt more like an unscripted documentary—just great!



Jackie, Erin, and Karen had an interesting conversation on their way to Jackie’s old high school. Karen mentioned that she had lived in California for a while, and Jackie said that she would have preferred growing up in that area (in Santa Monica, specifically). Erin made a great point, but “you’d be completely different!” Jackie agreed, “what formed me was my absolute drive to get out of this region.”



Jackie talked to a large group of students about growing up in Fairborn; she said that life was about reinvention. Her biggest point was that life is filled with second chances—great opportunities to start over. After Jackie’s talk, students approached her and asked for her autograph. And Karen watched with amazement as students lined up for a chance to meet Jackie. She later told Jackie how proud she was to see her (grown) child receiving this kind of attention; Jackie hugged her. It was such a special moment. The healing process had begun.



Jackie’s next challenge was to come to terms with her father’s death. She described how difficult it was to have a father who was mentally ill. She also said that she essentially tried to pretend that he didn’t exist. She made a bold move and went to her father’s gravesite. Her mother was by her side.



At the cemetery, Jackie and Karen talked about Jackie’s father. “He was a casualty of the Vietnam War”, said Karen. She described the funeral. Jackie realized that she had a lot in common with her mother. Sadly, we often fail to realize how similar we are to our parents, so it was nice to watch her acknowledge that.

Karen also made some other interesting comments about homosexuality. Karen mentioned that stressful pregnancies could contribute to homosexuality (that hasn’t been proven, of course). “So it is your fault,” joked Jackie; she was pleased that her mother had actually given thought to the potential causes of homosexuality. Karen went on to describe Jackie’s father. “He was crazy about you,” she said. Jackie started to cry. She hugged her mother and one gets the sense that mother and daughter were reconnecting. Mission accomplished!



Jackie’s trip to Fairborn was very emotional. I’m sure most viewers would agree. A major theme of this particular episode was the importance of family. We often take our parents and siblings for granted, and it’s easy to criticize or avoid our loved ones if they disagree with us. However, it takes real strength to communicate with family members and try to find some common ground; compromise isn’t a bad thing. Jackie’s experience also raises the issue of growing up gay in small town America. It is difficult; there’s not question about that. But as Jackie herself acknowledged, it made her who she is today. Life isn’t always easy. For many gay men and women, there are different obstacles and challenges that seem to stand in the way of success and happiness. This world can be cruel. However, these experiences serve an important purpose: they make us stronger.

Workout #6: The Cyclic Nature of Jesse Brune

Oh, Jesse, I just don’t know where to begin with this man. He really pissed me off last week. Actually, he didn’t. I’m kind of like Matt Lorenz. I’ll say that I’m emotionally aroused, but my autonomic nervous system is totally chill. So, I guess I was bothered by his actions last week. Yes, that’s more like it.

Anyway, last week he called Rebecca a whore. Now, I’m not Rebecca’s biggest fan. She annoys me at times. What bothers me is that Jesse should know better; most gay men should know better. I’ll give him credit for calling her a whore to her face, but the guy needs to calm down and think before speaking. How would he feel if someone called him a fag? I think it’s the same exact thing. It’s just not cool.



In this episode, Jesse approached Rebecca and apologized for his actions. The two little devils hugged and had a Kodak moment, and we’re left to wonder whether this interaction was really genuine. This is reality TV land after all. Anyway, I’m glad they at least talked about it and appear to be moving on.



It’s also interesting that Jesse is becoming very predictable. His behavior follows a cycle that seems to occur every few episodes.

1. The Event: the cycle starts with some event. For example, Doug made some comment about Jesse in an interview with Afterellen.com. Jesse was furious. He ignored poor Doug for weeks. More recently, Jackie started messing around with Rebecca, and that really got to Jesse.

2. Drama: this is Jesse’s forte. The boy loves to stir up trouble. And he lets people know what’s on his mind.

3. Resolution stage: Jesse usually cools down and eventually resolves any interpersonal problems. He did it with Doug. And how cute was Doug when he said to Jesse—you wanna go home with me? Oh, that was just a golden moment. Nothing says I forgive you like a good shag. And, more recently, Jesse made amends with Rebecca. And so ended another cycle. Now, I know most things in life follow this same kind of pattern, but no one does it like Jesse. The boy knows how to work it for the camera.

The end of one cycle can only mean one thing: another is just waiting to spring into action. It almost seems too perfect, almost contrived. I wonder who’s next. I’m not good at making predictions. Maybe Jesse will butt heads with Brian. Who knows? I guess we’ll have to stay tuned to find out.

Workout #4: The Lesbian Whisperer

Cesar Milan, The Dog Whisperer, is quite adept at understanding what makes a dog tick. He’s not merely a dog trainer—he’s a dog psychologist, so to speak. In the recent episode of Workout, Jesse gave himself a new title. He is now the Lesbian Whisperer. I’m not sure exactly what that means; I assume he considers himself an authority on all things Lesbian.



Last week, Jesse was visibly upset at that sight of Jackie and Rebecca swapping fluids. The group was gathered at some restaurant and he kind of made a scene; he ended up leaving early. Andre and Brian were also taken aback by Jackie’s behavior.




Things got interesting when Jackie’s other woman, Tiffany, showed up. Rebecca seemed uncomfortable about the whole situation, and one has to wonder what was going through Jackie’s mind. I love Jackie, but I think she could have been more considerate. She didn’t seem at all concerned.



Jesse, Brian, Andre and Gregg continued talking about Jackie the next day at work. I’d like to point out that Brian, Andre, and Gregg are straight. Who said straight men don’t like to gossip? These guys are worse than most women.



Jesse finally decided to confront Jackie about her behavior at the restaurant. “You can’t go around making out with girls in the bathroom; you’re not a drunk 16-year-old girl,” he told her. Jackie explained that she just wanted to have a little fun, which makes sense. She had been in a (bad) relationship for five years. Jesse then told her that lesbians cannot just casually date. He is the lesbian whisperer, so I guess he knows what he’s talking about. Jackie, of course, disagreed.

Jesse also mentioned that it’s not professional to date a coworker. Brian actually used the word unethical to describe the whole situation. Jackie argued that dating among coworkers is common place in their industry. She assured Jesse that she and Rebecca were going to be professional about the whole thing. I assume she meant that she was going to keep her personal life and professional life separate. Hm, something tells me that’s easier said than done. Honestly, I don’t think she should mess around with Rebecca. Jackie is Rebecca’s boss, and it’s just never a good idea to date a subordinate.

Andre was particularly upset at the fact that Jackie was courting two women at the same time. I think Rebecca is straight; she just seems to crave attention, and boy does she know how to get that attention. Tiffany appears to be bisexual, although she had never been with a woman before Jackie. It’s not clear what her intentions are. Andre’s response is really puzzling. Is it jealousy, as Jackie seemed to think? Yeah, it could be. I just find it really strange that he would react that way. Aren’t there other women in L.A.?



There’s tension between Rebecca and Jesse. It’s always been there, but things are going to get worse next week. After the whole Rebecca/Jackie thing died down, the gang meets to celebrate Erika’s (and Doug’s) birthday.





Before the birthday party, Doug shares more about his life with Cheo (and the viewers). We learn that both his parents died young; they didn’t make it to 43 years of age. Doug made a comment that was very disturbing, “this is the last time I’m having a birthday party.”





Moments later, Jackie received a phone call from Cheo informing her that Doug was very ill. He was in a drug-induced comma and, as we all know, he didn’t make it. Doug seemed like a really nice guy and a great representative of the LGBT community. Allison at Reality on Bravo believes that the producers treated the whole situation with total disrespect. I can understand her point. The whole time I kept imaging some heartless producer trying to put together various clips of Doug without really caring about Doug as a human being. There’s really no evidence to suggest that, but it is television and their goal is to entertain (and make money). I guess that’s just the way it is. Also, for more information about the Doug Blasdell Outreach Program, please click here. The link takes you to a new blog called Bravissimo, which covers Shear Genius and other reality TV shows. Anyway, it’s a sad day in reality TV land. Doug will be missed.

Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are

“Out” magazine has ranked the top 50 most powerful gay men and women in America. And guess who’s on the list? Yep, it’s Anderson Cooper. As far as I know, Cooper hasn’t officially declared (or acknowledged) that he’s gay. I can just imagine the look on his face when he sees this magazine cover. He’ll probably turn to his partner, lover, trick, or whatever, and say, “why won’t the gay media just leave me alone? I hate those bitches!” Anderson, I’m sure it must be hard being hounded by the likes of Michael Musto. But you’re attractive, wealthy, and famous. Deal with it!

Here’s “Out” Magazine’s Top 10:

1. David Geffen
2. Anderson Cooper
3. Ellen DeGeneres
4. Tim Gill
5. Barney Frank
6. Rosie O’Donnell
7. The New York Times Gay Mafia: Richard Berke, Ben Brantley, Frank Bruni, Stuart Elliott, Adam Nagourney, Stefano Tonchi, and Eric Wilson
8. Marc Jacobs
9. Andrew Tobias
10. Brian Graden
(17) Perez Hilton
(23) Tom Ford

By the way, I’m a little shocked that Perez Hilton was ranked higher than my beloved Tom Ford. Who exactly created this list?