Bravo, Project Runway, & Crazy Women

I had an interesting conversation with a friend this morning. What did we discuss? Global warming? Trouble in the Middle East? The current mortgage crisis? The answer to all these questions is . . . no. We were talking about Project Runway. My friend was, to borrow a phrase from Michael Kors, quite underwhelmed with the first episode of PR. He was so disappointed that he suggested not watching the show on a regular basis. His words elicited a reflexive response from me—I was ready to slap the crap out of him. But I didn’t. I don’t resort to physical aggression to solve problems or resolve disputes. I’m all about peace and love and all that good stuff. Anyway, my friend is not alone. A number of people in the blogosphere found this episode a tad boring.

I understand what they’re saying, but, honestly, I think some people had unreasonable expectations. Consider the following. I dare you to approach your friendly neighborhood drug addict. Ask him or her to describe the first time they tried their favorite drug of abuse (psychostimulants are quite popular with the kids). In many cases, they’ll describe feeling immense pleasure. However, after repeated drug use, it takes even higher doses of the drug to experience the same effects, and, in many cases, the person eventually stops experiencing pleasure all together. Ok, I’m not sure that’s a good analogy. Honestly, I just wanted to use the phrase “friendly neighborhood drug addict” in this post. My point is: we’re talking about the fourth season of Project Runway, for crying out loud. Did you expect to be blown away? We’ve seen a lot of it before. The divas, the drama queens, the assholes, the nut jobs, and the list goes on. And, as the years go by, some of the designs are starting to look awfully familiar. Aren't they? Again, the novelty effect has worn off. I thought the first episode of PR4 was entertaining and predictable. But that’s ok.

Sorry, I went off on a tangent there. Ok, let’s get back to the task at hand—obsessing about Bravo reality television. Anyway, I’ve already complained about the lack of female talent on other Bravo shows; so now I’d like to say something positive about Bravo. I’ve noticed a few interesting trends in Bravo land. For starters, they sometimes select contestants who don’t conform to certain stereotypes. Exhibit A: lesbian hairdressers! Seriously, before Shear Genius, I had never thought of combing the words lesbian and hairdresser in the same sentence. Bravo managed to find two lesbians for Shear Genius 1 (my beloved Tabs and Daisy). Also, what’s with over-achieving Vietnamese Americans? Cloe (Project Runway) and Hung (Top Chef), both Vietnamese Americans, won the top prize in their respective shows. Don’t get me wrong. I’m happy for them. I really am. But the chances of two Vietnamese Americans succeeding on Bravo aren’t that high. Why not Chinese Americans, Mexican Americans, or White women? It’s just interesting. That’s all I’m saying.




Well, Bravo has done it again. They’ve managed to find another stereotype to mess with. Instead of the tired stereotypical Hispanic woman, Bravo now offers us the crazy, rebellious Hispanic woman. At first I thought Lupe was an isolated case of craziness. Of course, a handful of unstable Latinas exist in this country, but Bravo found another one. Yep, I’m talking about Elisa Jimenez. Ok, she’s not exactly like Lupe. Elisa appears capable of formulating coherent sentences; I can’t say the same for Lupe. I like Elisa. She’s the crazy, artistic type. I can dig that. However, if she’s going to play that part for the next few weeks, she’ll need to produce some great designs.



Wow, this post is getting kind of long. I know; you’ve got other things to do. So . . . I’ll stop beating around the bush. This episode wasn’t horrible. It was predictable but still entertaining. As stated in the previous post, I love Rami. Did he deserve to win? Well, that’s debatable. I think he has great taste, but his design was kind of safe and not very original. Two dresses caught my eye. The one below was designed by Chris.



I agree with Ms. Place; his dress was fierce. The man certainly has talent. Also, I noticed that a handful of gay bloggers are going crazy over Chris. Why? He seems like a nice guy, but it’s too early to tell if he’s a character to love. I’ll give him a chance. Who knows; he may win me over. Christian is turning out to be a little bitch, which isn't always a bad thing. Although I didn't like his design, I admit that he is creative and confident, but I suspect he may have trouble competing against more experienced designers. He’s a kid compared to many of the other designers.




I also liked Kit’s dress (pictured above). She may be one to watch. Of course, it really is too early to pick favorites. Now, I’m off to Pink Navy. See you there!

Let’s Talk About Hung, Women in Bravo Land, And Project Runway (Top Chef 3; Finale)

Well, it finally ended. For some, Top Chef 3 turned out to be a real bore; while others fell in love with this season’s well-behaved cast. I suspect Casey will win the fan favorite award. The lovely Texan has gained quite a following throughout the blogosphere. Now, let’s discuss the finale.



First, let me just say that I was very pleased with the finale. Bravo got it right. Rocco DiSpirito, Michelle Bernstein, and Todd English were recruited to serve as sous chefs, adding some excitement to the mix. Casey, Dale, and Hung were noticeably shocked and excited about the opportunity of working with these culinary experts. I don’t care what anyone says, I think Rocco is a cuttie.

The cheftestants were asked to create a three-course meal. The day before the actual serving, the cheftestants and their amazing sous chefs spent hours preparing for the big day. Ah, but things got interesting when Tom delivered some very bad news a few hours before show time—the chefs were asked to prepare a fourth dish. Hung didn’t seem affected by the news; he was there to win no matter what.



As the judges feasted and scrutinized each and every dish, I experienced déjà vu. Images of the Shear Genius finalists, Daisy, Ben, and Anthony, were dancing around in my mind. Like Daisy, Casey seemed unstoppable during the last few weeks of the show, but her luck ran out in the finale. What happened? Maybe soul is a finite commodity that one should use judiciously. Did Casey use it all up during the last few episodes, leading up to the finale? I have no idea. I think she just lost control of Howie and the situation. And she didn’t seem to work well under pressure. Dale once used the word miraculous to describe his team’s success during the second part of the Restaurant Wars challenge. And that word can be used to describe his impressive success on the show. He, like Ben before him, owed everything to lady luck. I acknowledge that Dale made some very impressive dishes, but his lack of consistency was, to borrow a phrase from Anthony Bourdain, his major malfunction.



When Padma called out Hung’s name, I was more than pleased. Yes, I thought to myself, Top Chef is all about the food. From the beginning, it was clear that Hung was Top Chef material. His victory just seemed fair. Of course, some Dale supporters weren’t too happy with the results, and they’d probably disagree with me. But, in all honesty, one of his dishes was a total disaster. I commend him for not holding anything back. On a positive note, he rediscovered his inner chef.



This season of Top Chef was far from perfect. With the exception of Howie and Dale, most of the cheftestants were not very entertaining. And, as we all know, that’s what drives most reality television programs. There are other issue that I won't go into here. Interestingly, Hung tried his very best to be perceived as the show’s asshole, but he failed miserably. Seriously, he was quite harmless, but he was fun to watch. I have to say that Gail and Ted were great on the show. Ted didn’t really contribute much during the finale, but I still love him. And I love Gail, too.



Ok, I know this will probably annoy the hell out of some people, but I just can’t stop thinking about the lack of female talent on this and other Bravo reality television competition shows. However, there is hope. And I’m talking about Project Runway, the greatest of all Bravo reality shows. PR’s Chloe is the only female Bravo reality show winner to date. And even though Kara and Uli didn’t win in their respective seasons, they both did a phenomenal job. So, I may bitch about the sad state of affairs for women in Bravo land, but I can’t overlook the success of female contestants on PR. And thank goodness for that. I’m really looking forward to the new season of PR.

All About Ted Allen

My heart rate increases every time I hear the name Ted Allen. Ted, as most of you should know, is a member of the Fab 5. He was the food and wine connoisseur. Before joining the institution that is Bravo Reality Television, he was a contributing editor to Esquire magazine. He’s also a successful writer and food critic. This man can do it all.



I’m not going to lie; Ted is hands down my favorite of the 5 Fab. I actually like four of them and . . . tolerate the other one. Let me explain. Kyan Douglas is the hottie of the group, and you all know how I feel about attractive men. Come on. He’s the health and beauty expert. And that raises a few interesting questions. Why wasn’t he invited to participate in Shear Genius? Why did they have to import a queer from Denmark (i.e., Rene)? Seriously, Rene struggled to deliver his lines and some have suggested that he has a speech impediment. Now, I’m not complaining. Rene was fun to look at. However, I’m sure Kyan would have saved the production team a lot of time and money. Also, to be honest, Kyan is more my type than Rene, which is totally irrelevant because Bravo doesn’t create shows specifically for me. I was just sayin’. I also find it interesting that they never invited Jonathan Antin to be a guest anything on Shear Genius. That would have made me very happy.

Do I even need to tell you all that Carson Kressley was the best thing about Queer Eye? I think that’s a given. This man is comedic gold. The show would have been so boring without him. Thom Filicia was the interior design specialist. He seems like a nice guy, but he never really wowed me in any way. He was just there doing his thing, which is cool. I like him, just not as much as I like the other three. So, now we’re down to the last man—Jai Rodriguez. Apparently, he was the “culture vulture,” a cultural expert of sorts. Whatever. I’m sure he’s a very talented actor. However, I would have preferred a more cultured individual. Seriously, they couldn’t find someone a little more qualified? Is there a shortage of cultured gay men in New York City or other major U.S. cities? How about Copenhagen? Maybe they should have just asked Ted to wear two hats on the show—culinary expert and cultural know-it-all. I’m convinced that Ted can do anything. Now, to be fair, I’m sure some people love Jai, and the producers probably saw something special in him. Why else did they even consider him in the first place? I was just never crazy about him, and I've explained why. Sorry, I’m just being honest here.

Now, let’s get back to the task at hand: praising Ted Allen. Yes, this blog is officially in love with Ted. He’s just a great representative of the modern gay man in this country—cultured, sophisticated, intelligent, and so on. That’s not to say that he’s the best (and only) representative. The gay community is very diverse, and everyone has a purpose and contributes something, but I just adore Ted Allen.




Fortunately, Ted is one of the judges on Bravo’s hit reality show Top Chef Season 3. Ted will join Tom, Padma, and Gail. And that just makes me so happy. We’ll get to see Ted every Wednesday. Thank goodness for Bravo. Also, if you’re a fan of Top Chef and/or Ted Allen, I encourage you to visit three very cool blogs: Dishin’ Dat, Blogging Top Chef, and Top Chef 2: They Cook, We Dish. These blogs will provide you with recaps, commentary, and lots of bitchery. It’s wonderful.

I guess you could consider this my first Top Chef 3 post. Yes, I’ll be blogging about this great show at least once a week. I won’t be doing full recaps, just commentary on various aspects of the show. I may dedicate a few posts to the magnificent Ted Allen. Hey, someone had to replace Tabs and Sally. And Ted is that someone!

Thanks For The Memories, Shear Genius

So, everyone’s favorite Bravo reality show Shear Genius has finally come to an end. If you’re looking for a recap of the finale, then you’re looking in the wrong place. If that's what you're looking for, then check out Eric’s hilarious recap on the Bravissimo blog. Good stuff!



Anyway, I’d like to share some of my general feelings and a few observations about the show. I think everyone in the blogosphere agrees that this show wasn’t your run-of-the-mill reality show. No! This show was all about the hair. There were, of course, a few bumps here and there. Some people seemed to lack interpersonal skills, while others were just plain weird. However, compared to other reality shows, this kind of stuff doesn’t qualify as drama. Although the whole Tabs vs. Tyson thing was kind of entertaining. Now, let’s scrutinize the geniuses and the judges.



Jaclyn Smith looked amazing on the finale. She was just radiant. And the woman is an excellent host/moderator. She was in control. She even contributed a few thoughtful comments during the deliberation in the finale. I think this was an educational experience for Jaclyn, too. Heidi Klum is no match for this angel. I’ll miss Jaclyn’s reactions to the stylists' odd behavior on the show. At first, I thought she just didn’t like interruptions. For example, she looked puzzled when Tabs started bashing Tyson. It was clear what Tabs was doing, but Jaclyn seemed disoriented. Was she expecting things to follow some sort of script? Was she looking for cue cards? It's a reality show, Jackie! I have no idea why you were surprised by a little drama. Sally, on the other hand, was all smiles. She loved the drama. Jaclyn also appeared moved by almost every loser’s goodbye speech; that was kind of cute. She would usually recover quickly and warn the stylists that any one of them could be next. Boy, she wasn’t kidding.



Is there anything cooler than Sally Hershberger? Well, yes—Tabs. But other than Tabs, no one can touch Sally. Yes, Sally was my favorite judge, and I’m not just saying that because she got to touch Meg Ryan’s head. Sally’s flat affect and use of the word “yummy” during the finale have earned her the title of coolest judge ever. It’s hard to be cool, but Sally makes it look so easy. Nina Garcia who?

My mind draws a blank when I try to think of good things to say about Michael Carl. I never really cared for the guy. Interestingly, He (and Sally) seemed a bit sedated during the finale. Hm, I guess Vidal’s presence really affected everyone on the show. They were all on their best behavior. Actually, the week before the finale, I remember thinking that Michael wasn’t too happy with Ben, and it showed during the finale. His embryo comment was just vicious. Was that really necessary, Michael? Come on. Ben is so harmless. I guess he felt the need to bitch slap Ben one last time just for old time’s sake.



If you’ve been reading my blog for the past few weeks, then you should know that I think the world of Tabatha Coffey. She’s a confident woman who doesn’t take bs from anyone. She has an aggressive personality and her hair styles were consistently hard-edged throughout the show. She gets extra points for being a lesbian. Hey, this is a gay blog, not as GAY as some other blogs, but gay nonetheless. Anyway, click here if you want to read an older post I dedicated to the hair witch (Tabs). I think I was sleep deprived when I wrote it. That actually explains a lot. Long live Tabs!



Daisy was a joy to watch every week. The Hialeah Sound Machine never apologized for being herself, and, of course, she shouldn’t. She’s loud; she’s Cuban; she’s queer; and she’s proud! Amen to that! I thought she was going to play it safe for the finale, but she did the exact opposite. She went nuts. I appreciate that fact that she did something different. However, it didn’t work out for her, and that's a shame. Also, I find it interesting that they were able to find two lesbian stylists to participate in the show. I guess there are more lesbian hairdressers out there than most would think.



I had a love/hate relationship with Ben throughout the show. This rocker from Illinois turned out to be the biggest sweetheart. I’m sure he can fight with the best of them, but he was a total gentleman from the start. He’s also quite the little sponge; yes, he’s a fast learner and that made all the difference in some of the challenges. Also, he was eager to please his clients and the judges, and that surely helped him make it to the final. Although I like Ben, I have to admit that I wasn’t pleased that he made it as far as he did. He’s one lucky guy. However, he did well in the finale. Oh, and how hot did he look throughout the final episode?



Anthony established himself as a contender from the start. He didn’t impress me all that much, but he did produce some consistently acceptable styles. And he saved the best for last. The judges made the right call by naming him the winner of the first season of Shear Genius. Ben’s inexperience and Daisy’s lack of time management (and foresight) helped Anthony secure the win. His precision cuts were very good.



So, I guess this is my last Shear Genius (season 1) post. It was fun watching the show and reading other blogs. And even though Rene didn’t really do much on the show, I will miss seeing his gorgeous face every Wednesday night. Now, it’s time to get ready for Top Chef 3. Yes!

The Hershberger School of Coolness

You might be gay if . . . you’re a guy who loves to blog about Shear Genius and beauty pageants. You might be a redneck if . . . oh, go ask Jeff Foxworthy.

Anyway, now that I’ve gotten that out of my system, I’d like to discuss everybody’s favorite reality show Shear Genius. Fortunately, life after Tabs isn’t as bad as I thought it would be; as they say, life goes on. Of course, now that Tabs is no longer in the picture, I have to come up with new material (thanks a lot judges). So, I’ve decided to focus my energies on the great Sally Hershberger. She’s a fascinating woman. In fact, she’s one of the most influential stylists in the entertainment industry. How do you like them apples?



The one thing I love about Sally is that she is well aware of her coolness. She’s mingled with people that Andre Leon Talley would call Hollywood royalty. She’s worked with great photographers. She’s done it all. Now, she’s a member of Bravo Reality Television, an institution that has been entertaining gay men and fabulous people for the past few years. Hm, I guess Bravo could be thought of as a University: Bravo University, to be exact. And like other institutions, it is made up of different departments and schools. The department of Health and Fitness is headed by Jackie Warner. The dean of the School of Fashion and impeccable taste is Tim Gunn, of course. But there’s another school that doesn’t receive much funding or attention: the Hershberger School of Coolness.

Yes, Sally is the dean of this often overlooked school. She usually shows up (fashionably) late to meetings. Her staff can’t stand her. She makes unreasonable demands on her students—like forcing them to take a course on the influence of the shag on Western Civilization. Sally is misunderstood. It’s not easy being cool. Oh, and we'll pretend like she didn't show up to the reunion special looking like a mere mortal.

Now, let’s talk about the stylists.

Tyson


Tyson is one confident person. Yes he is! He’s clearly a talented stylist, and he was one of the favorites before he was cut. It’s fun to watch Tyson work. He’s fast and efficient. He starts off with an idea and works hard to realize it. I’d say he produced some of the most impressive styles on the show. Unfortunately, the trait that made him so successful is the same trait that got him eliminated. When he has an idea, he works like a mad scientist to create something beautiful. The problem is . . . he doesn’t always produce something great. He can’t seem to break away from this very narrow-minded approach. So, at times, his approach produces something impressive, but it can also produce total crap.

Tabatha


Yeah, she’s been called a bitch and a bully, but this woman is talented and she’s officially the fan favorite. It’s hard to be objective when it comes to Tabs, but I’ll give it a shot. Tabs is an experienced stylist, and she rarely loses her cool. She works at a steady pace and knows what she’s doing. In the first episode, her style was one of the best; it was actually my favorite. Tabs is an aggressive person and that comes across in her styles. As Michael Carl would say, her styles have a hard-edge—she was a punk back in the day for crying out loud. Unfortunately, she seems to lack versatility. Seriously, don’t let this woman do wedding hair. She just doesn’t care to create anything beautiful. Another thing I noticed about Tabs is that she was becoming terribly predictable. Some of her styles looked cold and calculated; we were never wowed by most of her styles. Her best trait was her nonconformity and hard-edge, but that never really came through—we only got what appeared to be approximations of what a hard-edge style should be. It’s a shame because we know she’s capable of doing better.

Dr. Boogie


I hate to say it, but I think Boogie never seemed motivated to evolve or improve as a stylist. It’s one thing to be at the top of one’s game, where success has already been achieved. But Boogie is far from being a phenomenal stylist. He sure loves to remind us that he’s great, but actions speak louder than words. I do give him credit for having a vision and sticking to it. He’s an experienced stylist, as evidenced by his good time management skills. So, he obviously knows what he’s doing and I applaud that. His biggest problem on the show was that he approached almost every challenge like it was business as usual. It just seemed like he was styling some random clients hair at some salon. He never wowed the judges (or the viewers). I never got the sense that he wanted to improve. He was pretty satisfied with everything he did. And that was his downfall.

Ben


Oh, Ben. Sweet, Ben. First, let me just say that I like Ben. In fact, I’m kind of happy that he’s made it this far. His family must be thrilled. He’s just a sweet person, and I’m sure Bravo viewers are tickled pink that he made it to the final. It’s always nice when good things happen to good people. Ok, now it’s time to break this down objectively (no heart, just brains!). Ben is by far the luckiest person in the competition. He’s created some of the worst styles and he’s still around. Why? Well, he’s one lucky guy; there was always someone—just one person—who sucked just a little bit more. Now, to be fair, Ben has some great qualities. For example, like Tabatha, he prefers styles that have a hard-edge. He’s also like a sponge; show him something once and he'll emulate it perfectly. He’s very observant and eager to please his clients (and the judges). That’s important! Ben’s biggest problem is his lack of experience. He tends to take a passive approach when it comes to working with other people. But his biggest weakness is his lack of vision. Michael Kors and Nina Garcia once described the winner of the first season of project runway, Jay McCarroll, as having an innate creativity. Ben, on the other hand, seems to lack this innate creativity. He’s good at emulating others, but he seems to work with no direction in mind. Sometimes that works, but most of the time it just doesn’t. He needs to stop looking for guidance from other people and start thinking for himself.

Anthony


Anthony is another nice guy. Actually, they’re all really nice people. It’s enough to make any normal person sick. I’m just kidding. Remember . . .good things . . . good people. Anyway, Anthony is the most experienced of the three remaining stylists. But his biggest asset is his versatility. Yes, he can create beautiful styles, but he’s also capable of creating styles that are somewhat edgy and “fashion forward.” Honestly, that alone makes him the front-runner. I also like the fact that he works with a clear direction in mind. He seems to have vision. However, it’s not going to be a walk in the park for Anthony. His styles always seem to lack something, and that can be a problem. What good is vision if you can’t deliver the final product! I’m sorry, but approximations aren’t going to guarantee you the win; just ask Tabatha.

Daisy


I think everyone in the blogosphere wants Daisy to win. Yes, my heart also belongs to Daisy (aka the Hialeah Sound Machine). From the moment Daisy looks at her client’s hair, her brain, hands, and mouth just go crazy. She’s a woman on a mission. I just love watching her work. She describes what she plans to do and then starts moving at a pace that even the road runner would envy. Like Anthony, Daisy has vision and then some. The one thing about Daisy I love is that most of her styles just look . . . complete. And that’s very satisfying. She creates some very nice styles, as well as some styles that are just amazing—she and Anthony hit a home run in the bridal hair challenge. However, for the most part, her styles just don’t seem good enough to be in the types of fashion magazines that Sally and Michael Carl probably swear by. And we all know that Sally hates it when people play it safe. Daisy needs to keep that in mind if she wants to win.

Now, let’s talk about the judges.


Sally Hershberger

Sally is the easiest to read. She’s like an open book. I have a feeling she’s rooting for Ben. Remember, Ben now knows how to do the shag, and, of course, Sally noticed. Sally is all about being edgy and cool, and Ben is one cool guy. So, he gets extra points for that. Ben also has another thing going for him; he never plays it safe. He doesn’t know how to. Seriously, if you lack vision and direction, it’s hard to create something that’s nice and . . . safe. He usually ends up creating crap or something edgy and very rock star-ish. So, I think if lady luck is on Ben’s side, he’ll win Sally’s vote. Anthony can also pull through and earn Sally’s respect and support. He just needs to wow the judges for a change. Daisy is probably Sally’s least favorite of the three. She’ll need to create a work of art or the other two will have to create crap on a head in order to win Sally’s vote. Let’s face it; in Sally’s world, Daisy always seems to play it safe!

Michael Carl

Ok, Michael Carl isn’t an open book. Actually, one thing seems very clear: Ben’s not on his good side. While everyone was raving about Ben’s hair last week, Michael provided the dissenting voice. Interesting. If I had to guess, I’d say that Ben is his least favorite of the three. He seems to like Daisy a lot, but I’m going to guess that Anthony’s versatility will win him over. However, if Anthony fails to really deliver, Daisy’s professionalism and ability to create a finished look may guarantee her the win.

Jaclyn Smith

Ok, I need help with this one. I don’t know what’s going on in Jackie’s head. I suspect she’s not Ben’s biggest fan, although she does seem to enjoy his fun personality. Whether or not she prefers Daisy over Anthony is hard to tell. If I had to guess, I’d say she’s rooting for Daisy, who is professional and consistently performs well. However, Anthony is also talented, and I can totally see him creating a style that could easily please the beautiful former Angel.

So, I’ll conclude by saying that I have no idea what to expect on Wednesday. By the way, if you disagree with my reasoning here, please let me know. Anyway, if Ben manages to pull himself together and create a style that’s original and hard-edged, then he will probably win Sally’s support and everything else will fall into place for him. Anthony needs to show the judges that he’s the most versatile of the three. He can win this thing by actually creating something that looks finished. Approximations just aren’t going to cut it anymore. Daisy, of course, has what it takes to win. However, her win will be highly dependent on Ben’s luck and Anthony’s performance. She’s been very consistent thus far, and I don’t know if she can actually do any better. It truly is anyone’s game.

Shear Genius: Life after Tabatha

A month ago, I was ranting and raving about how much I loved Tabatha Coffey. Some of you must have thought I was high on LSD or something. Well, no, I wasn’t. My drug of choice is caffeine, if you must know. Yeah, I went nuts—I posted a picture of Olivia Newton-John, a kangaroo, and even a dingo. It was a celebration of Australia, really.



Anyway, Tabs looked great on the reunion special. She was all smiles. She even acknowledged Tyson’s presence—she actually touched his leg. And Tyson looked kinda cute. Sally just loved his new look. Speaking of the evil leprechaun, the whole mother thing was . . . interesting. Someone really needs to cut the umbilical cord. Now, I’m also close to my mother, but not THAT close. Also, for those of you who felt bad for Tyson, consider Dana’s comment during the reunion special. She said,

He Kind of set himself for that, though, he really did . . . He was trying to manipulate each of us, I felt.

Evangelin added, “I think we all feel that way.” Hm, suddenly Tabs doesn’t look so bad. Tyson is one sly little devil. He wanted extra air time. Mission accomplished! He’s like the (smarter) male version of Wendy Pepper. It’s all about strategy with those two.



Now, after watching the reunion special, I am pleased to say that I love Bravo viewers. When Dr. Boogie’s object of desire, the gorgeous Rene Fris, handed Tabs that huge check for $10,000, I was relieved. She is officially the Fan Favorite for this season of Shear Genius. That’s like music to my ears. I liked her answer to Andy Cohen’s question, “are you surprised?” She replied,

I’m totally surprised. I can’t believe it. People, I guess, like a bitch.

Yes, Tabs, we love you. We really do. Anyway, if you love or loathe Tabatha, you should take the Tabatha quiz over at the Bravissimo Blog. Let your voice be heard! Sadly, Tabs is no longer in the competition. So, with great sorrow, we leave behind the woman from the great country of Australia. It was fun while it lasted. Now, I need a new stylist to support. I thought about supporting Ben, the rocker from Illinois, but I’ve got (major) issues with him. He’s a nice guy, and I like him, but his talent is questionable. Or maybe the editors are just messing with my head. More on that later. And although I’m a bit of an anglophile, Anthony just doesn’t cut it for me. So, that leaves one person: the Hialeah Sound Machine (aka Daisy). Yep, the woman from South Florida, the home of the controversial “hanging chad,” is my new favorite stylist. She deserves this honor. She’s been getting better and better with each passing episode. Her talent is undeniable. And she just seems like such a sweet person.



I thought about dedicating a whole post to Daisy—celebrating all that is great about South Florida. You know, throw in pictures of Gloria Estafan and some of those (loud) women on Sabado Gigante. Well, it’s not going to happen. Honestly, I wish I could say I’m as excited as Evangelin with a pair of hedge clippers. But I’m not. Anyway, I think almost everyone who blogs (or comments) about Shear Genius is rooting for Daisy, which is nice. As I said before, she deserves to win. I wish her the best.

Shear Genius: Here Comes the Shock

I’m still recovering from this episode of Shear Genius. Yeah, my worst nightmare came true: Tabatha was eliminated. Well, I guess I’ll just have to deal with it and move on. To be honest, she was asking for it. She essentially gave the judges every reason to eliminate her and Tyson. She exchanged few words with Tyson during the elimination challenge, and this lack of communication cost them dearly. Sometimes you have to work with people you don’t like; that’s just the way it goes. I’m a little shocked that Ben has made it this far; he needs to thank his lucky stars. Anyway, at first, I wasn’t pleased with the decision to eliminate two very talented stylists. Seriously, Tyson and Tabatha had been doing very well up to this point. However, the decision to eliminate them actually makes sense; the judges were evaluating group performance on the task at hand. They could have kept Tabatha and Tyson around for another episode—that would have ensured more drama, a producer’s dream. But, instead, they chose to eliminate the weakest team for this challenge. Good call!



I have to write about Sally Hershberger. She’s a fascinating woman. She’s always on cool mode. Remember, she created that famous shag cut. And how cool is that? Anyway, she rarely smiles and shows signs of flat affect from time to time. Usually, that’s a bad thing, but in cool town, that’s appropriate behavior. In this episode, Tabatha went on and on and on . . . about Tyson (stupid move). Sally’s face lit up like a kid in a candy store. She had broken out of her shell. The girl loves a little drama. She’s human after all.



Well, that’s all for now. I have lots more to say about this episode of Shear Genius, as well as the Workout Reunion Special. More about that later.

Shear Genius: An Anglophile’s Dream

The United Kingdom of Great Britain (and Northern Ireland) was once the most powerful nation in the world. Starting in the age of discovery, the British Empire slowly but surely acquired a great deal of land and power in the Americas, Asia, and Africa. And although the UK no longer controls all of these territories, there’s no question these areas will forever be linked by a common thread—the English language and a shared cultural inheritance.

Shear Genius has inadvertently awakened a sleeping giant. Anglophiles all across America are probably glued to their televisions every Wednesday night. The question is: who shall be victorious?


Anthony represents the UK, and one would think he has the advantage. The UK is the birth place of Anglo-Saxon culture and the English language. However, the once great British Empire collapsed years ago. Anthony has done well thus far, but he hasn’t really impressed me all that much. We’ll see how this Brit performs next week.


Tabatha represents Australia. By now everyone should know that I want her to win. Yes, I’m a fan. She’s clearly the strongest competitor. She had some trouble with this recent elimination challenge, but it wasn’t a total disaster.


Danna represents South Africa. And she really surprised me today by winning both the quickfire and elimination challenges. She’s certainly one to watch. I also think she has the cutest accent.


Team America
For some strange reason, I’m starting to get a little patriotic. Don’t worry; I won’t start burning Dixie Chick CDs any time soon. I’ll just be cheering for Team America with a little more enthusiasm from now on. Our American brothers and sisters are a few years younger than their foreign competitors, which can be a disadvantage. And we all know that age usually correlates with experience. Last week the youngest stylists were sent home. I fear that Team America doesn’t stand a chance.


Tyson is the strongest American competitor. He’s been very consistent thus far and should make it to the final. The producers aren’t stupid—this whole Tyson vs. Tabatha thing is gold.


Daisy (aka the Hialeah Sound Machine) should be safe for the next few weeks. She’s done a good job and I can tell she’s talented. However, she needs to really step up to the plate if she wants to stay in the game. Also, she needs to stop talking and talking and talking. Tabatha can only take so much.


Ben is now one of the weakest contestants, which is a shame because I really like him. He pays close attention to what others have to say, and he’s a fast learner. He also has that rebellious edge, which, if used effectively, can impress the judges. Remember, the judges don’t want people to play it safe. And Ben strikes me as the type of guy who doesn’t conform. Also, Tabatha thinks he’s very cool, and I totally agree.


Dr. Boogie did well in this elimination challenge, and he sure knows how to sell his services. However, as the judges pointed out last week, he’s been playing it too safe for the past few weeks. I think he and Ben are the weakest contestants. We’ll see how far Boogie goes. He gets an A for good conduct in this episode.

So, the Americans, with the exception of Tyson, are in big trouble. Will they drop like flies? Who will be sent home next? Dr. Boogie? Ben? Or Daisy? Or maybe it’s too early to tell. As one of the judges said last week, nothing should be taken for granted.

I am, of course, supporting Tabatha all the way, but there are little voices in my head that are singing the American National Anthem. I hope the Americans can pull it together.

A Gold Star for Tabatha

One can only imagine what it was like the day Tabatha, one of the stylists on Shear Genius, was born in the city of Surfers Paradise, Australia. She probably developed at an unusually fast pace and hated other children her age. Poor Tabatha probably grew up hearing her mother say the same phrase day after day: “stop making the other school children cry.” It must have been hard growing up with an ego the size of neighboring New Zealand.

Tabatha eventually left Australia and ended up in . . . New Jersey? Hm, yes, that appears to be the case (according to tvbuddy.com). Anyway, Tabatha currently owns a salon and travels all over the world as a stylist for Joico International. She had it all, but Tabatha wanted more. As mentioned before, she is a stylist on Bravo’s new reality show Shear Genius.

Now, I don’t have to preach to the choir. Tabatha is a force to be reckoned with. Tyson, that silly, silly man, tried to bring her down, but he did not succeed. Tabatha laughs in the face of danger. She doesn’t seem to experience basic emotions like compassion and fear. No. She is a diva! Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to announce that Tabatha has earned a gold star and the title of “coolest Australian on American reality television.” Here at Blog by Cosmo Marius, a gold star is reserved for all that is great in this world. Congratulations, Tabatha. You deserve this recognition and more.



Before moving on, please note that Tabatha is not deformed. I repeat, she is not deformed. I inadvertently erased one of her ears. Sorry, I'm still learning how to use photoshop. Anyway, my dearest Tabatha, there’s more. Please accept the adulation from your compatriots.


Olivia Newton-John, you must bow down to the great diva. And, yes, “she’s the one that you want.”


Hugh Jackman, you, too, must bow down . . . and feel free to take off your shirt at any time. That type of behavior is encouraged here at Blog by Cosmo Marius.


Nicole Kidman, you know the routine; please bow down . . . and maybe you can learn a thing or two from Tabatha.


Paul Hogan, please take off your hat and bow down . . . Hm, I wonder what Paul Hogan is up to these days.


I want to make it clear that no creature is exempt. Even the notorious dingo must bow down . . .


All the kangaroos that roam the great Australian continent must also bow down . . .


The adorable koala must also bow down . . . Seriously, how cute are these little guys?

Ok, I think you get the picture: I want Tabatha to win! I’ll conclude this ass kissing session with a picture of Tabatha. She’s one tough cookie, and that’s why I like her.



Give ‘em hell, Tabatha.

Rene Fris is One Hot Scandinavian Man

I present to you the gorgeous Rene Fris. According to tvbuddy.com, Rene moved from Denmark to New York City in 1999. He's worked for some of the best salons in the country. And the rest, as they say, is history. He's currently the salon director (and judge) on Bravo's new reality show Shear Genius. As you can probably tell, I heart Rene. A lot! Oh, and how cute does he look in that Karate uniform? So butch! Hot!