FUNNY HEADLINES!
The Years Best(Actual) Headlines of 2002
according to who?
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Crack Found on Govenors Daughter
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Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says.
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Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
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Iraqi Head Seeks arms
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Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus
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Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
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Panda Mating fails; Veterinian Takes Over
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Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
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Miners Refuse to Work After Death
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Juvenile court to Try shooting defendant
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War dims Hope for Peace
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If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
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Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
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Enfield Couple Slain: Police Suspect Homicide
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Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
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Typhoon Rips Through Cemetary: Hundreds Dead
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Man Struck by Lightening Faces Battery Charges
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New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
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Astronaut Takes Blame for gas in Spacecraft
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Kids Make Nutrious Snacks
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Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
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Hospitals are Sued by 7 foot Doctors
MORE FUNNY HEADLINES!
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Grandmother of eight makes hole in one
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Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing
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Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
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House passes gas tax onto senate
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Stiff opposition expected to casketless funeral plan
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Two convicts evade noose, jury hung
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William Kelly was fed secretary
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Milk drinkers are turning to powder
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Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted
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Quarter of a million Chinese live on water
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Farmer bill dies in house
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Queen Mary having bottom scraped
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NJ judge to rule on nude beach
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Child's stool great for use in garden
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Dr. Ruth to talk about sex with newspaper editors
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Soviet virgin lands short of goal again
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Organ festival ends in smashing climax
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Eye drops off shelf
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Squad helps dog bite victim
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Dealers will hear car talk at noon
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Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
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Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests
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Two Soviet ships collide - one dies
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Two sisters reunite after eighteen years at checkout counter
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Never withhold herpes from loved one
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Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy
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Drunk drivers paid $1,000 in 1984
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Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better
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Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency
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Child's death ruins couple's holiday
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Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years
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Man is fatally slain
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Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation
Funny Advertisements
- Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.
- Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.
- Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.
- We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
- For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Shepperd and an Alaskan Hussy.
- Great Dames for sale.
- Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
- Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.
- Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References required.
- Modular Sofas. Only $299. For rest or fore play.
- Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops
- Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.
- Illiterate? Write today for free help.
- Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family
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Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.
- Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.
- Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help.
- Tuesday at 4:00 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
- Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his study.
- The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind. They can be seen in the church basement Saturday.
- A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.