Here, Amid the Beauty

Being is a type of limitlessness.
I am who I am, and you are who you are.
There is no shame in being who we are.
Let us sit here amid the Beauty, and enjoy one another.


My Lonely Heart

I wrapped her present and left a message,
but my beloved did not call me back.
Has she changed her mind in wanting me
and simply followed the pack to lands of bad
and times of trouble, to places where
my naïve mind never wanders;
will she call and apologize for forgetting
my face or will she stay away forever?
This woman is Mother, Sister, Friend or Foe,
and if Nobody, than lucky You has never felt alone.


Comprehension

Being, limitlessness,
thought, beauty—the things
which go on forever are the only things which
I comprehend.


The Beyond

What exists in you, Dear Girl, is a tiny and
precious world more pertinent and more real
than the thousands of worlds which float beyond
this universe and our thinking. The ideas which
exist in you, Dear Girl, are like glorious
pieces torn from far-away stars.


Exquisite

I do not know the human beings I encounter, especially not you,
for your beauty is boundless, limitless and immortal.
You are not of this earth.


You and I

Being together is protection against the great pull of Earth’s deathly core.
Intimacy is the only force which opposes one’s early meeting with soil.
If you and I believe in our true goodness then we can survive, and we will.


Relationship with the Rain

I am like the rain. I fall upon myself as I walk beneath myself.
I am both falling down and moving forward, and perhaps doing
neither with any conviction.


Bitterness

Life offers no beauty and I in response have no words.
I am the silent woman. I desire sight, but never speech.


absence of warmth

I flinch at the thought
of another's skin
touching my body.


Final Show

I am stuck like a culprit behind walls of stone.
I die like this: out of food, running toward water, air,
and all good things. The audience is waiting.


Starved

My good manners put me in a hell of waiting.
Man, beware my sexual wants.


Julie

I can see nothing but your preciousness, My Love.
Even your toes sparkle as if composed of jewels.


Curtain Call

I feel sad and finished with my life.
Every dance has been danced, and every apple poisoned.


Silence

Perhaps he stares at me frozen in fear
at my beauty.


Trembling Thing

Everything was done prematurely,
and I tremble in my regrets.


On Beauty

What beauty do they speak of, for I neither
see nor feel it, and my eyes are tired from looking.


Dancer

I live for my body’s movement, and die for
its stillness. In between, I know not and feel not.

I shall consider each day wasted which was not
spent dancing, and so I have wasted this day.


Crush

Skirt blows in breeze to allow me to peek into the world of the unknown
Please don’t tell her I am looking, or that my heart has already flown


To Kathryn

What shall we do for your birthday?
How can we tell you how special you are?
How can we on this globe of muck, bring reflected perfection
successfully to your eyes and nose and hearing—what shall we
pretend is good enough to give you for your birthday?


Gates of White

Intrigued with the idea of clouds in heaven
parting to allow my entry, I tried it for a day.
With black lace wrapped around my head,
pow, I fired away. My body now feels cold
with the rigidity death promised. Living
love, I miss you—I regret everything.
I am waving my lace, see me dear?


Humble

Look away, I begged,
until icicles grew from
beneath my lashes.
Then a sudden light!
Then, I fall through
earth, ground and dirt
into my coffin—look
away I begged again,
from my body! He al-
ways stared too much,
in life and in dying.


Your Beauty

I wake each morning to your lips.
To your lips I wake each morning.
Each morning I wake to your lips.
By your beauty I am revived thus.


Untitled 3

My legs are I and I am them.
Together we stand.


Greatness

I have mastered the art of being exotic.
What is there left to learn?


Bed of White

Currently numb on my drug’s effect—
I just finished a round— I sit spent,
given up and over in my wanderer’s bed.

I sewed the too-mussed sheets the other night,
but they have ripped again,
in the shape of Jesus’ haggard cross.

I weep for everything infallible and secure.
I crave quiet and hate noise.
Now the mind quiets itself, and I am renewed.


To the King of Wild Birds

To those who hold truth(who but wild birds?),
I vow to one day acquire what is locked in thy wings.

But for now, I’ll live for what I don’t believe in, I’ll fight for
what I don’t wish to conquer, and I’ll take what I am offered.

Tomorrow, give me art or give me death; give me prudence or
give me joy; give me beauty or commit my face to the banal.

Your flock sings a grand song and soars a heroic flight,
but I cannot. Have you no mercy for the wingless?


On Virginity

I will eat my own hands and heart!
I will throw myself to the wolves
if he does not take me.


Discovery

Letting my heart be still
I open senses that have been cloaked
The universe opens too—
I feel the stars coming!


The Girl Who Does Not Speak

You may speak if you like. I’ll respond
with a stately stare,
my skin like sea-glass,
and my eyes cold and salty like
seawater which has waved upon the sands
for a million years.


A Swan’s Promise

She shall be well again—
the picture of grace
the essence of beauty
the symbol of health.
She shall re-inherit herself
one day.


A Fairy Tale

To make your tears evaporate
I touch your sleeping lids
And with the disappearance of your hurt
Melts also away mine, and
Pillows of rest and blankets of tenderness
Cover your body that’s cryin’


What I Will Leave

Tiny etchings meant for no one
And everyone at the same time;
In the stone from my humble hand,
Written to an unknown entity.


To Reminisce

Though my body did not respond,
my heart now wants what was
given in jest before: your SEX.


Winter’s Room

I cannot leave my room because
Its walls are all I know of

The sky the ground,
the gorgeous lakes and snow.


Apple Woman

Forget you! rotating world and dreams of smut

You’ve given me nothing—only hurt, and the tendency to rot

Like a piece of fruit that lies aging while flies molest and chew

Skin, core, seed and stem: this apple, this wrinkled woman

Round and fat and drying; I am Melanie and I am crying.


Hesitant Whore

With men and with wine, I do not act normal,
Why can I not live like the rest and be merry;
Why is everything so difficult and scary?


Perceived Cleanliness

Stay away,
I am only here to give you bad taste.
I am a woman
totally incapable of anything chaste.


Society’s Possession

Let me go tonight in my sleeping,
My soul is for another one’s keeping.


A Soul Hung

Let my body be framed and hung on the wall,
Simply let me go—my soul is His to keep.
Let me go, World, tonight in my sleep.


The Lovers

(today)
Tomorrow, I shall like to see you again.
If I am not dead, you may.
Why, will you die tonight?
I will if you leave me; rather, let you spend the night, and be already present at dawn.
Alright, darling.

(tomorrow)
Would it not be better if goodness were possible without each other?
Would it not be sweeter if our hearts were together in one body?
Would it not be better if air and time did not separate us?
Bring a rope, darling, I shall knot it and loop it ‘round our necks tonight.
Yes, darling, yes.


Humans and Sex

The filling of human hearts is God’s art.
Writing of our need to be filled is human art.
Our hearts and minds belong to God,
and a woman to her man.
This poem is for you Man whom God formed 1st
and my body is for your filling.


Divine Thing

The opera wants to attain it,
as does the play, the film,
the dance, and the sermon.
All artists want to conquer the same
impossible divinity which being human
does not allow one to gain.
Still we struggle toward this aim.


Some Common Gold

It cannot be the rainbow’s
pot of riches that I seek;
it sounds and seems so silly and trite.
Continue, commoners, to seek purpose.


The Woman’s War

She slithered and pulsated on the floor,
dodging the kicks of soldiers who wanted to penetrate her.
She gasped at me, a voyeur, I will dance with thee
if the peace of our unity could end this war, said she.
In response I became a soldier too and kicked her down,
farther below the waves than she had been before.


Haiku for Plath

The poet is dead
in a coffin of life's smells.
She’d tried to write truth.


Untitled 53

One shot and I fall
Two shots and a noise is heard
Three shots and the planet hurts—
Just one shot, and we all fail.

Coldness

I do not know how to love others.
Consequently, they do not know how to love me.
Do not come near. Otherwise, you may become cold too.


I, the Baby

I’ve read that babies acquire brain damage
when they are not touched enough during “the crucial period.”
What is the crucial period, and why am I not been touched enough?
My mental capacity is lower than that of my peers, and
I seek a valid explanation.


The Silence in My Soul

Please slice at my neck until blood spurts,
Beat at my face until bruises appear,
Kick at my body until its person is gone and only
SOUL, however trampled, useless, and unthinking—
Remains.


Seeking the Common Truth

War makes sense when sadness is all one knows how to feel.
A certain commonality is brought by the killing and injustice.
It is a painful sight, the fighting, though what is
a more common truth than pain?
The contradiction of compassion; the upside of human violence;
it is the only grounds for killing: a common truth.


Fall, Pious Rain

When the pious rain stops, I will feel no more sadness;
I had predicted the feeling would last forever.

When all that a person knows is strangely and suddenly over,
what begins; what becomes?

When my body is no longer covered in dirt and grime,
in what state will I breathe?


The Property of All Selves

What great secret do you expect revealed thus,
about existence, our universe, a synonymous image?
People with my blood: walking souls: the secret
is that you are mine and I am yours.


Safety

Your hand is on mine, and now I am safe.
My hand is beneath yours, my eyes on your face.


Sorrow

I have trouble seeing good because so deep and easily
I feel bad; why must this heart act thus,
and why must I be so sad?

Is life always to be empty and my face forever forlorn?
Am I living life well, or should I
never have been born?


The Coast

For you and in you and from you
I exist; merely a sea body is mine.

You, like an aged beach protect me
and shield me. My body is thine.


Just To Dance

I just want to dance
(nothing too complex)
I just want to dance
(this body is vexed)
I just want to dance
(but I a scared coward am I)
I just want to dance
(a heart of movement)
I just want to dance,
poor body of stillness—


Attempted Sainthood

Why are these poems the only way to spend my time;
why is my breathing and being a crime?


Little Miss Hesitancy

Shyness my bones, my heart, my core
Shyness, shyness, I am sad and poor—
Shyness, shyness, an incapable whore.


Anger

Pretty I am?
Stupid you are.
Wonderful I am?
Foolish you are.


Continuation

Success is only warranted by what you feel inside
Family is only punished for they insist to hide
Society is only admired for all it tries to give
And I, an anoretic, am loved for each day I live.


Later

We’ll have a look later,
we’ll come together later,
we’ll hold each other later,
after death has soothed us, and
after this world has released us,
we can breathe together.


The Veiling of Poems

Veiled by what love
she’ll never have, she dreams
for what nights don’t bring
and takes comfort in all things
foreign and untouching.
This angel of the bedroom is
whitened by her own incessant
trembling and kept safe by
God’s good grace.
Provide her with endless
satisfaction, poeticism.


Untitled 69

What becomes a woman?
What makes her whole?
I’ve nothing but questions
for the realm of Femaleness.


Addressed to Others Like Myself

The essence of life is love.
Who do you love, Poet?
I know not your heart, nor
your mind, but I do know
that one poet loves another.


Untitled 72

Steaming luscious milky curves, she is
A cluster of grapes and sex, she is
Dominating my sky, she is


Relations and Loss

When seeing me loses its interest,
and seeing you loses its luster;
when we lose our similar laughter,
what will become of us?


Daily Commute

Our little train station mornings rejuvenate my soul.
The commute is very long, but your presence is soothing.


The Lady Speaks

I am poised elegantly like a lady statue,
at your will.


Women are Good Liars

My eyes are open or closed, as is my heart, who but knows.
Nobody knows the truth about femininity.


Untitled 39

We have only ourselves
to blame for today’s wars.


Untitled 38

Felony is not what one person does against an other,
it is what my mind does against me.


Mine Eyes of Purity

The policeman speaks of my crimes— come, now,
what is the worst I’ve done?


Don’t Judge Me

Inside of me is filled with Wrong. Sin and Time are one’s only Rights.


Humble Creations

All that is beautiful is derived of my womanly hands.
This is my art. These mistakes, dressings and poems are my art.


Seducer

There is something intoxicating about you, Woman.
You hold the power to make any man submit.
You’ve seduced me, as well.


Magic Friend

Your way makes me wonder, how come you are different?
The last thing I would want to do is hurt you, but still I have.
I humbly beg your pardon.


Spanish Princess

Your body is small and beautiful like a child,
but tall and strong like a pony.


Exquisite Elephant

Your eyes are clear and shiny like pebbles,
your arms thin and smooth like tusks.


24hr Diner

I am enamored with you, pretty waitress,
just like the other grungy and slobbering diners.


My Pretty Waitress

Every time I look at you, Maggie,
I want to take your picture.


A Poet’s Blessing

May your imagination soar to places unknown,
may it never be downtrodden by the weights of this earth.


The Model

Woman of knowledge, creativity, and truth,
I’ll serve you humbly; let me paint you.


Please Forgive Me

There are times when I hold my cruel tongue,
and other times when hurtful words slip out the lips.
I slipped this time—please forgive me.


Pardoning Slashes

I’d slash my heart mercilessly, forever,
if it could fix how I hurt you, Maggie.


Thoughts and Lips

What I think maddeningly(in foolish and crazed terms),
often comes out the lips sounding even madder.


God’s Job

I would punish myself, but that is God’s job,
and so I suffer the guilt and pain. Justin,
forgive me, I didn’t mean to hurt you.


Sexual Awkwardness

I don’t know if I am he or she;
what does heterosexual unity feel like?


Delicacies of My Mind

Down my shoulders the delicacies(like dancers)
travel all grace and lightness. They are my thoughts,
as unimportant as the air, and as deep as the sea.


Shelly’s Wickedness

Like rockets hurtful words shoot out of your mouth,
as if their relentless comings were greater and more powerful than sun and moon.


Poems

What I write is soon cast forever in the history
of our proverbial planet—forgive me the slips,
they are only my mind’s foolish playings.


A Gentle Woman’s Home

White curtain glistening and the dark night envelops
all that I have, this small bedroom.


Welcome, Intruder

Come inside me, Man, feed yourself—EAT.
Nourish what I cannot; take what
I am unable to give.


Poor New Yorker

Days of poverty are described like this.
One grows sideward financially, inward emotionally,
and downward healthfully.


Thankful

If it were not for the smiles and laughs of your body,
I wouldn’t have made it through this day. Thank you.


Miss Herrera

You speak easily and cheerfully with every person you meet.
I am charmed, and in love with you.


Come Closer to Me

Who can a person love if not the one standing beside them?
The nearby presence of a human body so intoxicates me that
I fall in love with anyone which saunters close.


Unwilling Caretaker

I cannot believe that God entrusted me
with the care of her ego, her mentality,
her fragile state of being. As it is,
I am stumbling with my own of these.


Stay Away, My Sweet

If the one whom I love is too near I may stumble over
and onto the body, the mind, the thing I wish most to protect.
Stay away and remain whole and untouched, my sweet.


Who is My Master?

Do I write to my father?
Do I write to my mother?
A lion, a panther, a lord?
To what master do I address my thoughts?


Mysterious Man

He said to me, ‘You are an intriguing human being.’
I would like to know the meaning of his words,
as I would like to understand all that is said to me.


Beautiful Boy

Every syllable, every statement, every glance,
and every nod is understood.
But still I wonder what he wants from me.


Head in the Clouds

I am smart, proud, wise and intriguing—
a wondrous human being.


Cow

There is a strange odor wafting, and earlier
I spotted a bug jumping around the room.
What barnyard animal have I turned into?
No longer a woman, I now moo.


Rebirth

The beauty I had wanted to gain, I see,
is unattainable.
I have failed before even beginning.


Playing with Numbers

Empty, half, thirds, whole—
My art failures let my dreams, and the ball, to nowhere roll.


Hopeless Romantic

Book piled on book
Poem after poem
Love answers all,
But my questions are wrong.


Request for Renewal

A freckle here, a freckle there:
speckles of filth on my skin
God, renew me, let’s start again.


Necessity and Nourishment

I feel the need to change
who I am, and to live differently,
as strongly as an infant needs milk.


Right Away, Dance

Immediately, legs, dance!
Arms, neck, head, dance!
Straight away, act thy destiny, dance!


Poems Do Not Give Life

I could tear up the pages and books.
73 poems and 29 more—
82,000 feelings, each of them a bore.


Covered

An iron veil is covering my heart, and I am too shy to pull it off.


Life and Stillness

I eat. I exist. I keep still.
But life is something in and of Itself;
it is something which goes beyond
my stillness.


Justin

Perhaps I have made mistakes, perhaps
I could do better than I do,
but nothing satisfies and nothing belies
the feeling I have for you.


Lily in the Floor

I want to bloom for you and show you
that I can be pure—
this dancer, this woman, this lily in the floor.


Untitled 17

The dance of the hands is my writing, and
the dance of the body is my meaning.


Untitled 20

I’ve done all the things on my list.
Now defeated by Accomplishment,
I see that time is a teeter totter, and
I am but a child on the playground.


Untitled 21

Bravery I remember to be an old friend sitting with me
at a sparsely lit table. We shared a meal once.


Untitled 22

I do not believe that I ask for more than my share,
just one person to have and to hold.


Untitled 24

I can no longer hide this burning to be more:
the Monroe charisma, the desire of lavish proportions;
I want to shine.


Anti-Adrenaline

My blood and brains cry out Go Faster, but
my body refuses—it grooves slow and sexy against the beat.


Untitled 28

I am two people:
Shy as a child, and fierce as a man.


Black and White

A quiet poet and raging star;
I aspire to win both worlds.


Untitled 30

The streets and sidewalks are crude
floors compared to my dressings and finery.
I am an elegant lady of merit, and so will
remain hidden, leaving the dangerous
outside floors for others to walk upon.


To You, Boy

Hold me close all through the night.


The Anoretic

My ball and chain is my love for beauty.
You free convicts, trot by! Pass my jailed and perfect self!


Untitled 1

The woman wearing a pink bra breathes;
I see her soft belly exposed, rumbling—
Though she is not perfectly shaped,
I crave to have her womanliness.


compassion for those like myself

as my mother said she was crumbling
when her dogs killed the black duck;
I crumble when other girls starve themselves


This Morning

Stretch your arms and breathe awake, ye good people of the earth.


Resistance

She feels hungry. He wants to help,
but she will not let him. She is scared
of his unhunger, his ability to feel satisfied.
What an ironic and unfair world it is.


Untitled 6

I am quiet.
I am humble.
I have not pride, nor strength.
From where do such sensations stem?


Untitled 8

Voices from above and below I hear the same.
All ends of the earth I feel the same.
I reside in the middle of the universe, unaffected.


Movie Night

What type of effort do we put forth as we sit
on this couch with thoughtless eyes
and sleeping hearts?


Untitled 11

I am poised and ready,
awaiting your masculine wisdom.


Language

Words, you are so beautiful.
Words, you are so true.


Incapable of Intimacy

It’s not that I don’t love you, because surely the day I met you,
we were tied at the heart. But I have no ability to be close or
dear to you since the heart within the cavity of my failing
chest knows nothing of intimacy.


Decision

When I decided that no longer I looked like a dancer my soul sort of
broke and I don’t believe that anything has the power to fix my soul
since it was born to dance. Relinquished as a dancer, burning flame
extinquished, dancer girl my everything has gone. There is a hole.


Thievery

The common goal of society, it seems
Is to rip apart a woman’s dreams—
Spawn from the demon of man’s expectation
Comes a game of certain feminine objectification—
We believe that a woman matters only as far as her eyes entice
And as wide as her legs open, because that feels nice—
Girl is taught that solely sex appeal and glamour can arrest
His heart, his admiration, and mindless masculine tests
She, giver of life, is socially conditioned to lust
For approval noted by his gifts of gold, though they rust,
Satisfaction is sought in the moment; he and she meet—
Undress, touch, relation, gasp, passion, heat—
They’ve achieved an embrace that reflects advertised sleaze,
The man acting as King with the woman handcuffed at his knees—
The while, he’s changed her body and taken more
As his sincere intent was only sex with a whore.
Today, ideas such as truth, beauty and love appear like wind—
Just empty bits of air which might have once meant something—
Artists and businessman alike, who takes responsibility for this mess we’re in?
To everyone, what does it mean to change, to heal, to reform social sin?
The business of selling images of a woman’s body and mind,
Is not as precious as the dollar, nor self-assurance, growth or time—
When violated, a woman’s heart is rarely shown
What she holds in her possession is hers alone.


I Miss Being Touched

There is distance now between myself and _____ ,
When all I’d wanted was his touch—
I reckon it would have been gentle
But foolish as I am, I miss much.


Crush

You are a devil of charm, a devil stealing my joy
There is redness in your horns and silver in your tail,
You handsome devil boy.


Seeking a Home

Lingering. Spoiling what once I had,
Blundering. Trampling down streets soiled and sad,
Jumping. Escaping, running the opposite race—
I wanted to stay here, to be home, to find my place.


Immaturity

Your ignorance astounds me
So intelligent, yet so blind,
As if you don’t notice the way you are,
That you’re just like them in my mind.


Sainthood

Sadness is not so dismal a state,
I before felt better, but now I have this weight,
And it makes me wise and uncommonly good,
For who else would be so sad, who else could?


A Girl

The beauty she carries makes me weak
Again and again I hear her speak
With shallow silliness and rose petal bliss—
Her lips of innocence I wish to kiss.


Change

Woman beside me, I’ve known you so long.
But memories fade, your presence is now a bore
To my soul, spirit and mind—I am begging,
Please speak of something better, something more.


Shortcut

Success what are you
And how may you be earned—
With hard work, long hours and determination?
I would rather buy you than be burned.


I Am Your Property

Conquer me, conquer me.


You May Own Me

My lands are yours to take though
they’ve dried and are now empty
the sun heats them like cake.


Dancer’s Truth

Deep down in my body
I know that work and sweat and
movement
are all I am about.


Model

She is thing of unnatural beauty.


Rynna

She arrests my gaze;
I love her for how she appears,
I stay back from all the mirrors,
For I’ll never be luminous/radiant/lovely as she;
And for all my shortcomings I suffer in shyness,
Upholding high my dignity.


Movieland

Hollywood lies, Hollywood smiles;
Hollywood calls to me.
And never have I answered anything like I intend
to answer this sentence, this message, this plea.
What can I really be, how far can I really go,
And when I sell myself to them, will they enjoy the show?


Which is Worse

It was a tragedy beyond comparison.
I see now that we are different,
One woman suffered drugs and needles and pain,
While the other hunger, and nothing more.

< Back

Next >