| a world created by the dance of my hands, and me. With grace and humility, I'll perform my dance for thee. Egotism, beauty, goodness? I have all three. |
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Please click on occasions to view greeting card designs. Ramblings Thoughts on Being a Woman "All that is exquisite came to this earth after the creation of woman." Though not always aware, I have been cultivating ideas and inspirations for this project all my life. I shall study, and present on this website, what I believe it is to be a woman. As a base of support, I will address portrayals of women in prominent fine art photographs of the past century, for "as it applies to the individual, art is a heighten- ed mode of existence. (Art) gives deeper pleasures, it consumes more quickly. It carves into its servants’ faces the marks of imaginary and spiritual adventures, and though (the artist’s) external activities may be as quiet as a cloister, (art) produces a lasting voluptuousness” in their lives.(Mann, 22) Personal goals of those who create fine art directly affect women. I believe that the female body is beautiful. Being an artist myself, I personally experience and sense the “profound leaning which those who have devoted (their work) to the creation of beauty feel toward those who possess beauty itself.”(Mann, 53) I, an artist named Melanie M. Eyth, and woman aged twenty-six, am convinced that I am who I am because of what society demands of me. Today, therefore, I run to find my own intelligence and beauty, and not those ideals designed for me by society. You are welcome to run with me. What would you desire me to unveil? I wish to uncover secrets which nobody else has touched, though some mysteries may prove lasting. “This I believe: I am not my body. I am my words, my ideas and my actions. I am filled with love, humor, ambition and intelligence. I am a creative spirit, a fellow human walking the planet, who, just like you, is so much more than my body.”(Sandin, 21) We all want a personal philosophy with which to grow, and expand ourselves. My personal philosophy? How the mind struggles to choose. I believe damage is caused when one expects a certain attitude from another based solely on outward appearance. I believe this type of expectation causes confusion and misinterpretation, not in the mind of the beholder, but of the beholdee. Consider the common effeminate statue: "O remembered the statue she had seen as a child in the Luxembourg Gardens: a woman whose waist had been (exceedingly) constricted and seemed so slim between her full breasts and plump behind(…)— so slim and frail that she had been afraid the marble waist would snap.”(Réage, 146) Consider the common female form in fine art photography. How is the body displayed? What notions are represented? The body is often unclothed, and the skin colored a milky-white. The eyes are often closed, the arms thin, the body delicately rounded, and the face touched by a ne- therworld light. Thus illustrated, the woman is like a statue, graceful and unmoving. She, in the photograph, is void of all life-like qualities. Is she un-living, un-conscious, or merely tired? Since the year 1900 (for the sake of argument), the female body in fine art photography has retained its idyllic, sculpted beauty and hints at helplessness, but has, ironi- cally, lost its esteemed voluptuous shape. The photographed woman of today is smaller. Also, she often has a rough expression on her face, and exudes a haughty, if not bitter, attitude. So, the body has lost volumes of flesh but has gained a roughness of expres- sion and attitude. What else has changed in photography, in notions of beauty, and in the serious thinking of women? What has remained the same? Let us question authority. “The awakened and knowing say: body I am entirely, and nothing else; and soul is only a word for something about the body.”(Nietzsche) Webster’s dictionary defines woman as the female of the human race, as distinguished from man. Photography is defined as the art or process of obtaining accurate representations of objects by means of the chemical action of light or other kinds of radiant energy on specially treated surfaces. Art, the creation of meaningful or beautiful objects through skill and imagination. Hunger, as an uneasy sensation or weakened physical condition caused by lack of food; any strong or eager desire. Grace, elegance or dignity of form, movement, or expression. Beauty, any quality that delights the eye, ear or mind. Dead, deprived or devoid of life, inanimate, numb, and life the period from birth to death marked by metabolism, growth, reproduction, irritability, etc. These words are who I am, and the ideas I wish to relearn. With the belittling, or slimming, of the ideal shape of the female body, my self-respect is whittling away. Photographers want stick-thin women now, and their proffered art hacks away at the flesh. My femininity feels the hacking, and my imperfections pierce me. Perhaps, while the esteemed size of a woman’s hip reduces, so does the fullness of her mind and spirit. Maybe less flesh equals less life, or less joy. Are things being reduced? Are our values of womanhood, (or manhood) diminishing, disappearing? Are our identities losing their luster? I feel I am missing something as a woman of today, and I’ve become silent because of what I do not possess. What is it to be a woman today? I can feel nothing of it but a low-lying, gnawing hunger. Being a woman gives me nothing good. “To hate one’s body is to hate oneself. Hating oneself makes genuine acceptance of others impossible.”(Pipher, 21) “For passion, like crime, is not suited to the secure daily rounds of order and well-being; and every slackening in the bourgeois structure, every disorder and affliction of the world, must be held welcome, since they bring with them a vague promise of advantage.”(Mann, 87) The internal search for art, truth, beauty, and goodness, collectively, clouds my mind with a consistency of something like pounding night-time rains, all the time. I want the skies to clear. Admittedly, I am confused about who I am, what I want, where I am going, and where I have been. I struggle to make sense of the people and beings with whom I interact. I fight for freedom. Freedom from what? I create art, poetry, photography, and dance, with no apparent reason or success. All tasks aim to feed my own starved womanliness. All energy is meant to free the fragile, glass-girl inside of me; that doll-like thing; that innocent essence of early existence. There are thread-like wheels churning in my webbed mind. Churning for what purpose? From what do I hide? For what discovery do I seek? I aim to prove my own worth and strength, because, as a woman, I feel weak. Where did this feminine weakness originate? Do all women starve for the things which I starve? It is integral to the rest of the time of my life on earth that I know the answers to these questions. “O, terrified and fascinated, was dying to know, she had to know immediately. But it was obvious that (her master) was not yet ready to explain it. And it was true that she (did not have) to accept, to consent… she could refuse, nothing was keeping her enslaved except her love and her self-enslavement.”(Reage, 122) What keeps the girl? What holds her fear? “The patient (had) been doing extremely well aside from depressive reactions on the weekend… and suddenly felt as though she were a teenager again and began to (feel) very frightened at the thought that she had never had a satisfactory childhood. She became fearful and agitated.”(Kaysen, 105) “The picture of the diseased and neglected city hovering desolately before him aroused vague hopes beyond the bounds of reason, but with an egregious sweetness. What was the scant happiness he had dreamed of a moment ago compared with these expectations? What ere art and virtue worth to him over against the advantages of chaos?”(Mann, 108) “Night advanced. Time was crumbling.”(Mann, 103) It is possible I am hiding from what others see in me. I am running to peace and ease of mind, and away from societal truths. “It’s a mean world, (Lisa would) say, there’s nobody to take care of you out there.”(Kaysen, 22) But, one must unlearn to learn. One must run to rest, and give to receive. “If we practice mindful living, we will know how to water the seeds of joy and transform the seeds of sorrow and suffering so that understanding, compassion, and loving kindness will flower in us.”(Hanh, 33) Reader, what are you living for, searching for, or running from? If you are a woman, perhaps you run from what others expect of you. If you are a man, perhaps the same. Possibly, we are all running toward something which will define grander and more specifically our masculinity, or femininity. The essence of being a woman is much the same as that of a man. Both are deeply rooted in past intimate relations, and current circumstance and responsibility. I believe intimacy with one’s self must come before intimacy with another. One’s ability to be with one’s self is firstly integral. As I search for what it means to be a woman, I too search for what it means to be a man. While presenting my words, I present my photographs. Melanie Monterey wishes to be seen, as she wishes to be heard. Woman wants to be seen and heard, as well as loved and respected. What is the pictoral image of woman? Let us pretend that photographs are the root of all imaging. Let us say that an image is a statement bestowed upon society by a photograph. A statement births an idea in the viewing, thinking mind. Let us assume that an idea is an entity in and of itself which has the power to totally take over a young person’s mind and change him or her forever. Let me, as the giver of these assumptions, make the humble claim that ‘power’ exists inside each of us, either attacking us, or creating us anew. The energy of that power is determined by desire and consequence. Thus, a seed of lifelong inward-inflicting influence may possibly be borne of a single photograph. Thus, a single image may have changed the course of my life. Being on the right path as a youth, I may have swerved because of the intense impact endured of a picture. “It is easy to slip into a parallel universe. There are so many of them: worlds of the insane, the criminal, the crippled, the dying, (or perhaps) of the dead as well. These worlds exist alongside this world and resemble it, but are not in it.”(Kaysen, 5) Society is a thing which induces power, but upon whom, the individual or merely itself? I am led to a word called ‘soul.’ The complete definition of soul is as follows: the principle of life, feeling, thought, and action in humans, regarded as a distinct entity separate from the body, and commonly held to be separable in existence from the body; the spiritual part of humans as distinct from the physical; an umbrella term with many meanings including the essence of being; a disembodied spirit of a deceased person; the seat of the feelings or sentiments; the capacity for exalted emotions; a human being; noble warmth of feeling, spirit or courage; essential element of something; the inspirer of some action, movement or group; the embodiment of some quality. I, Melanie, spread myself thin living as a person who devotes all her soul to art. I see nothing more worthy of my time than art. There is no man in my life. Ah, I sacrifice this thing, sex, for this thing, art. All sexual, all abstinent, all passive and all aggressive energy is given to my art. I paint, I draw, I take photographs, I write, I dance; I maddeningly color the world. I am nothing but a common fool for beauty. I am nothing but a desperate artist hungrily seeking approval. And how does this artistic talk relate to being a woman, and to my presentation’s heart? Well, one inspires the other. I am both a photographer and a woman. I am both the artist, and the art made. I am of both worlds. When I photograph a model I look as closely as possible upon the skin, and then, if allowed, into the model’s soul. People ask me to photograph them. They want beauty and perfection. They often want what I cannot give them, and seldom are they satisfied with what they get. Birth gives us life, and a good photograph of one’s self gives one a new chance at life. Look into the mirror, Reader, and see your own eyes. Look deep down into the color of the eyes. If the eye were a palette, the iris would be colored paint, and the pupil the deepest tint of that color. Do you see what you thought you’d see? Most likely you see something quite different, something nondescript, and new. Maybe you see a living, breathing being encaged within a body of skin, skeleton, hair and blood, and nothing else. I am willing to bet that when you look deeper at yourself than you’ve ever done, you will see true joy and pride. This is because all happiness comes from within. Alive eyes are happy eyes. Sensitivity is required to behold one’s own true nature with happiness and love. The sensitivity of a woman stereotypically abounds a man’s. The spirit of female feels and hurts, while the spirit of man does, and ignores. Are we different, at all? As an artist, it is that living quality, bestowed by God and lived out by the dead we are, which I honor. It is the color within the color of your eyes which I, as an artist, wish to beautify, and display. Regardless of differences of sex, of gender, of race, or of look, art is created. Such is the thought process of a photographer. All artists think the same. All manipulate. All wish to represent something scarcely present, barely human, or near-divine. It is not the fault of the photographer that illusions are created, for such is the nature of the beast. “Thus, in his infatuation, he wanted simply to pursue uninterrupted the object that aroused him, to dream of it when it was not there, and after the fashion of lovers, to speak softly to its mere outline. Loneliness, strangeness, and the joy of a deep belated intoxication encouraged him and prompted him even the remotest things without reserve or shame.”(Mann, 91) Why the intoxication, then? “For beauty, my Phaedrus, beauty alone is both lovely and visible at once; it is, mark me, the only form of the spiritual which we can receive through the sense. Else what would become of us if the divine, if reason and virtue and truth, should appear to us through the senses?”(Mann, 73) Who’s fault is it that women, namely, are affected by manipulations of their sisters and mothers, done by the soul behind the camera? My first photography sessions studied ballet dancers. They were generally thin, generally women, and generally neurotic about the reflection in the mirror. I took pictures of them rehearsing, conversing, performing, stretching, breathing, and resting. My work broadened to not only dancers, but women. Dancers are very concerned about their bodies, and the gracefulness and elegance which they are capable of projecting. I see that women, as a whole, share these concerns. Most are very attentive to personal appearance. Today, this consciousness is evident in my self-portrait work. Researching historical fine art photography, I see women as withdrawn, subdued, refined, sweet, still, quiet, and shy. In my own photographs, I see the same. We are often closed-mouthed, pear-shaped, pale, unclothed, and still. An image of porcelain and grace. Is this feminine beauty? Is this harmful to young girls? Is it anything besides satisfying to the photographer? I believe that themes today such as domestic abuse, eating disorders, crime, self-hatred and depression are tied, however thread-like, to this skewed image of feminine beauty. The strangeness lies in the idea that women crave to be photographed. They want to be made into sexual images. Because women desire to be desired, the cycle of exploitative art, hunger, and dissatisfaction continues. “Why is it that women are so damaged when it comes to body image? Why are we so vulnerable in this area? Why do most of us feel like such failures?”(Pipher, 17) “When you overvalue the packaging, it’s easy to undervalue the woman inside.”(Pipher, 21) ”To be at rest in the face of perfection is the hunger of everyone who is aiming at excellence; and what is the nonexistent but a form of perfection?”(Mann, 48) To be a woman is an ironic, and delicate occupation, I find. Art created and circulated by artists, namely photographers, affects the public. In both positive and negative ways, people are affected by art. Consider historical photographers. Alfred Steiglitz lived his life as though it was an “investigation into truth, beauty and art.“(Jackson, 45) “Utter truth is essential and stirs me when I look through the camera,”(Jackson, 105) spoke Margaret Bourke-White. When Dorothea Lange used her camera it “became a beautiful instrument.“(Jackson, ix) Photographs have the power to cajole people into believing that they can achieve “...the dream of limitless perfectibility.”(Goldberg, 80) However, “American Puritanism and law kept the sexual potential of photography in check for a long while.”(Goldberg, 135) When it became clear that “the camera is an inherently voyeuristic instrument, or, a peephole on the world”(ibid) commercialism used the value of glamour and nudity to its advantage. By the 1920s, “photographs of young women in tight or skimpy clothing bolstered the circulation of tabloid newspapers.”(ibid) “Provocative and too real”(ibid, 134) photographs on public display were brought to court as early as 1861in England. A woman’s sexuality displayed in a photograph is attractive to both genders. “Fashion magazines committed to women should be proof enough that women as well as men like to look at women’s bodies.”(ibid, 135) We know that sex sells. But fine art is different than advertising, right? I think that they are not. The display of a woman’s body relates to voyeurism, desire, sexuality, instinct, and is always aimed to please aesthetically. Whether it be for the purpose of consumerism, or artistic expression, “being a woman” encourages want. In both genders, in all minds, and at both ends of the century. It is all voyeurism. It is all desire. It is all humanness. I wonder what is “too real” a picture, and what constitutes a “provocative public display?” What do these citations suggest about the importance of photography? And what do the included images say about beauty? What is commonly sold to the masses in a woman’s magazine? What do most people take as truth? What do they believe to be real and accepted version of themselves? What do they take to be pretend, to be simply art? What does a woman believe to be beautiful and fulfilling? I ask many questions, some perhaps with no answers. My goal is not to supply the answers. I will not fabricate things or give insincere conclusion. I wish only to inspire thought. I’ll provide data. I will conduct surveys. I will research the usage of the female form in societal imaging. I would like to conduct a survey asking women about their definitions of art and beauty and truth, three concepts closely intertwined on the playing field of photography. As I traverse, I wish to offer photographs of myself. Let’s take a trip back in time. Historically speaking, the body of a woman is the bit of nature most heralded by the camera. She is a fine art object. Is she willing to be objectified? Are we willing? I am willing. Photographic eras and personalities shape concepts of beauty, truth and art today. Many of the following photographers use the female body as their inspiration.(Naef) The years 1839 through the 1850s brings the Discovery and Invention of the Photograph. Working image-makers include David Octavius Hill, Robert Adamson, Anna Atkins, Hippolyte Bayard, Joseph-Philibert, and Girault De Prangey. In 1839, a dream shared by artists for centuries becomes a reality. Louis-Jacques-Mande Daguerre invented the daguerreotype, in which an image is recorded on a highly polished silver-coated copper plate, and later William Henry Fox Talbot employed light to create a negative from which multiple positive prints could be made; this is the photograph. The First Golden Age, the 1850s through 1880s, is named for photographer who become sensitive to the role played by light, geometry and visual perception. Work is created by artists such as William and Frederick Langenheim, Gustave Le Gray, Nadar, Roger Fenton, Camille Silvy, and Carleton Watkins. In 1851, Talbot releases his patent on the negative-positive process, known as calotype. Document into Art, the 1870s through the 1900s, enter artists such as Edward J. Muybridge, Henry P. Bosse, Thomas Eakins, Julia Margaret Cameron, Timothy H O’Sullivan, and Gertrude Kasebier. The understanding of what is meant by truth and what constitutes beauty in a photograph gradually evolves. The challenge is to remain objective while expressing personal vision. Some photographers work for money, while others work to create art. Notions of the real being elevated to the status of the ideal are introduced. Modernism: The First Generation, the 1900s-1930s, involves acclaimed Alfred Stieglitz, Charles Sheeler, Paul Strand, Lewis Hine, Eugene Atget, and August Sander. Emmanuel Kant’s phrase “nature gives the rule to art” takes on new meaning. Artists of all types experiment with different ways of seeing the world. Abstraction vs. reality, truth vs. fiction, imagination vs. perception, past vs. present, and static vs. volatile are explored, thus the first modernists emerge. Modernism: Abstraction and Surrealism, 1910s through 1940s: Laszlo Moholy-Nagy, Man Ray, Andre Kertesz, Alexander Rodchenko, Albert Renger-Patzsch, and Frederick Sommer. Imitation of nature is inevitable because every image is, in fact, nature harnessed by light. Photographers invite an interactive relationship between the picture and its viewers. They play with perception and meaning, using their imaginations to recreate the present in a new, fictional manner. Modernism: The Social Documentary Tradition, 1920s-1950s: Doris Ulmann, Dorothea Lange, Walker Evans, Weegee, Brassai. From the beginning, the subject of how people live together as a community has been a persistent theme. Art has focused on ordinary people. The interactions of these ‘ordinary people’ now becomes politically important. Literary devices like metaphor, analogy, and symbol, aid the movement. Treating human relationships with dignity but without sentimentality is key in this social documentary photography. Modernism: Form and Emotion, 1950s-1960s: Henri Cartier-Bresson, Josef Sudek, Diane Arbus, Edward Weston, and Manuel Alvarez Bravo. The before question is perpetually repeated: Is photography essentially objective or subjective? Is it an art aimed at truth or beauty? Are both satiable? Arguably, a photograph can satisfy both of these goals. Photographers experiment with new ways to move between the practical and the aesthetic. Consider form and emotion. Experimentation is vital, and genius. Timeline provided Inspired by the writing of Weston Naef, artist behind Photographs of Genius at the Getty Center Museum, LA. With this project, I shall prove myself a documentarian of what it is to be a woman. She has an inherent fragility of spirit, beauty of mind, need for creation, and curve in body. Femininity is the area of study. Who can I be if not myself, and what beauty may my art give if not my own beauty? Woman, are you in touch with your womanliness? I bet you aren’t. Because, the womanliness expected from us today, is impossible. It is unattainable. I am but a soul trapped in the body of Eve. Society boasts. Photographs are not real. They are fantastic interpretations of the mind. The do not reflect life, they reflect the mind of one artist. “Writers are happiest with an idea which can become all emotion, and an emotion all idea. Just such a pulsating idea, such a precise emotion, belonged to the lonely man at this moment, was at his call. Nature, it ran, shivers with ecstasy when the spirit bows in homage before beauty. Suddenly he wanted to write.” 73, Mann References 1. Jackson, Nancy, Photographers: History and Culture Through the Camera, Facts on File, Inc., NY, 1997. 2. Goldberg, Vicki, and Silberman, R., American Photography: A Century of Images, Chronicle Books, CA, 1999. 3. Orvell, Miles, American Photography, Oxford University Press, NY, 2003. 4. Taschen, Icons: 20th Century Photography: Museum Ludwig Cologne, Hohenzollernring, Italy, 2001. 5. Eisenstaedt, Eisenstaedt on Eisenstaedt: A Self-Portrait, Abbefille Press Publishers, NY, 1985. 6. Kaysen, Susanna, Girl, Interrupted, Vintage Books, NY, 1993. 7. Pipher, Ph.D, Mary, Hunger Pains: The Modern Woman’s Tragic Quest for Thinness, Ballantine Books, NY, 1997. 8. Hanh, Thich Nhat, Touching Peace: Practicing the Art of Mindful Living, Parallax Press, CA, 1992 9. Reage, Pauline, Story of O, Ballantine Books, NY, 1973. 10. Mann, Thomas, Death in Venice, Bantam Books, 1971. |