Several friends have commented on my homepage. I'm taking all of these in the complimentary way in which I'm sure they were intended!

"You have achieved a combination of the ridiculous and the sublime that transcends meaning"

-Dave (not me)

"It's like suddenly finding out you live next to a serial killer or something"

-Heather

"Oh my, my Dave. I fear I know way more about you now than I should be allowed to know. I celebrate your diversity, however." - Lisa

"If you read everything on Dave's page, you'd never have to actually meet him in person"

-Rodger

"Dave is a very strange dude"

-Jeff

...and finally, a note from my sister-in-law, yet another admiring fan, quoted here in toto:

i am e-mailing you regarding a recent "bad trip" i took.
it was to your web site!
wow! serial killer? Heather wasn't kidding.
and as far as not having to meet you, i'll bet that's true.

i was hoping to get "recent" (i use the term loosely) updates.
slick willy has moved on, iraq is now kosovo, but most of all,
i take issue with one of the more upsetting updates on your homepage.
where are the kids? you recycle some old mug shot, but you took away
all the kid quotes. [editor's note: they're still there, she just missed them]

after a visit to your web site last august, i surmised
that you had two children. my recent visit, and your ???recent???
picture confirmed this information. and yet, the second child gets
little to no mention, much less a bevy of quotable phrases that the first
of your brood once did. speaking of which, WHERE THE HELL IS THE
MARSHMALLOW STORY????????????????? are you so self absorbed that you
believe your legion of fans to be interested in only your computer geek
puzzles which are discernible only by like minded 1%-ers? do you really
think anyone believes that YOU of all people know jack about how to
rectify that debacle they call the NBA? i've watched you shag your
sorry butt up and down the court and all i can say is "you call that
basketball"? you demean the good name of every filly and foal ever born
by calling that crap "HORSE". i have a word of advice for you: take
some basketball lessons, stop lying about your personal stats, enroll in
the Jim Rome correspondence course for "how to talk trash for fun and
profit" and put the kids back on the web. yo, doughboy, i'm brushing up
on hearts and i'm driven by the day when i will rise again to kick your
sorry butt and pin you with that nasty old queen. until we meet
again...