What not to name your kid


The following quotation is from the book "Reaper Man" by Terry Pratchett.
What, you've never heard of Terry Pratchett? Shame on you. He's... well, he's a fantasy author. But that's like calling the Eiffel Tower "a tall building" - it doesn't give you the full flavor of it all. Fantasy, yes... but very well written fantasy combined with satire, humor, biting wit and the feeling that maybe you've lived all this before. Pratchett's "Discworld" series takes one of the all time classic themes (a flat world carried by four elephants, who are in turn carried by a rather large turtle... no one seems to know what the turtle is carried by) and turns it around in all sorts of interesting directions. Very good stuff. Highly recommended.

Ahem. Anyway, the conversation quoted below takes place near the end of the book. The two characters are "One Man Bucket", an Indian ghost (American Indian, not Hindu), and "Windle Poons", a dead undead wizard. Every time I read it I damn near die laughing. Truly hilarious, and just a bit perverted. Note that throughout the book, "One Man Bucket" speaks in italics, to distinguish him from the world of the living.

"Now, can I ask you a personal question?" said Windle. "I mean, I've just got to know..."
huh.
"After all, you've got the astral plane to yourself again."
oh, all right.
"Why are you called One--"
is that all? I thought you could work that one out, a clever man like you. in my tribe we're traditionally named after the first thing the mother sees when she looks out of the teepee after the birth. it's short for One-Man-Pouring-a-Bucket-of-Water-over-Two-Dogs.
"That's pretty unfortunate," said Windle.
it's not too bad, said One-Man-Bucket. it was my twin brother you had to feel sorry for. she looked out ten seconds before me to give him his name.
Windle Poons thought about it.
"Don't tell me, let me guess," he said. "Two-Dogs-Fighting?"
Two-Dogs-Fighting? Two-Dogs-Fighting? said One-Man-Bucket. wow, he'd have given his right arm to be called Two-Dogs-Fighting.


Funny as hell, and just a little perverse.



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