Bryan's Last Days

On April 11^th, 2003 Bryan’s grandmother died and he started to get sick that day. He fell asleep and we had a very hard time waking him up. The day of the funeral I took him to the hospital and nothing showed up. Finally about a week later he had a shunt revision and that did not help. The doctor wanted him to have an MRI and so we did. He had an MRI in February of 2003 and everything was good then. This one was not to be the same. The results of the MRI showed Cancer in his menengies of the brain. They did a spinal tap on him and that came out normal. We took him to the hematologist oncologist on Wednesday, May 14^th and the next day they told me the results. Told us to call in hospice that Bryan had maybe a few months left to live. There was nothing more we could do. On Friday, May 16^th, Bryan went to school as usual but was in a wheelchair. He could not talk very well but was happy to be in school. I called hospice to take over the case. I wanted Bryan to have the most of the time he had left and I did not want him in a hospital. I wanted him in his own bed. By Saturday, May 17^th, Bryan could no longer walk or talk. He could not swallow and we were watching him die. It is the hardest thing to watch and know there is nothing we can do to help him. Hospice came in and ordered him oxygen and some liquid pills. He could not swallow any more. I got him up that day and bathed him. Took him for a walk in his wheelchair cause he wanted to see his friends. Brought him home and put him back to bed.  

On Sunday, May 18^th, he got up in the morning and Josh carried him into the living room. He smiled and was very happy. My goddaughter and her fiancé came over and he was happy to see them. Danielle my niece came to see him too and he laughed. That afternoon Bryan slipped into a coma. Hospice came in and put him on oxygen and made him comfortable. The rabbi spent most of the day at the house with us that Sunday talking to Bryan and comforting us. The boys from the yeshiva also were in and out of the house trying to talk with Bryan. His friends all managed to come and see him to say goodbye. Bryan’s pediatrician spent the night with us. By Monday morning Bryan was breathing better and was in a coma. On Monday, May 19^th, all of Bryan’s most loved people showed up to see him one more time. I truly believe Bryan waited for everyone he loved to say his or her goodbyes. Hospice bathed him and I was in the room. I sort of sat him up and gave him a kiss. I told him I would be right back. I was in the living room with Josh, Bryan’s brother, my aunt and my girlfriend. I asked Josh to check on his brother and we were not in there 3 minutes when Bryan took his last breath. He was alone in his room the way he wanted to be. Josh called me into his room and I knew. I cried and have not stopped crying. But I know that Bryan is now starting a new adventure as an angel. He is with God now and his grandparents are all looking after him. Josh says Bryan is telling everyone his jokes and having a blast. I believe that and some day I will see my angel again. God loaned me Bryan for 18 ½ years and now has called him back to be a real angel. He is not in pain or suffering anymore. I love you Bryan and always will.

All my love,

mom  

An ode to her son