LIL PEACH FOOD STORE WILL HONOR SHARK
After finding the PURP website, Lil Peach convenience stores are paying a special tribute to our captain, SHARK. They will be throwing a late night party after an upcoming game. When we reached their representative in their London, England based office, he was quoted as saying "The party will be a bloody good time!"
COBRA PHONES HIS AGENT FROM THE LOCKER ROOM
To everyone's surprise, the peace-minded COBRA called his agent before the game and demanded to be taken off the roster if there was going to be a 5 man rotating defensive scheme. "I'm an Army man," said COBRA, "There is no way I am sitting on the bench an extra shift while my team fights the war. Put me up front and I'll let the flamingo fly!" Lucky for us all, COBRA's agent talked him down and COBRA put in his customary solid game on defense. Our field reporters overheard Captain SHARK telling COBRA after the game, "If you want to come up front, then bring it on, we'll be glad to have you."
RETURN OF KNUCKLES
Six months turned into 6 days as KNUCKLES returned from his knee injury as a kinder, gentler knuckles...until being tackled in the second period when we heard him screaming, "How can they not call a penalty. The guy took my head off!"
BONES ADMITTED TO TRAFFIC SCHOOL
On Monday morning, BONES was stopped by the Salem Police only 1 block from the rink. It appears he took a "left turn on red" and must now attend 1 week of traffic school. "But the light never turned green!", BONES cried out. Hey, we all told him that he should have turned around and cut through the parking lot.