Don Gillette

The Face In The Mirror Is Not Mine

Nouvelle Press 1990

Copyright © 1988, 1989, 1990 by Donald W. Gillette

 

All rights reserved.  Printed in the United States of America.  No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.  For information address Nouvelle Press; 3449 White Pine Estates; Nashville, TN 37214

 

Contents

Mister Jasper’s Morning Vigil • As The River Rises • Hiatus in Biloxi • Overland Bridge • Bloom Deadeye Baby • Empty Nights • Fugue in A# Minor • Front Porches on the Lakeshore • Proofreading • Du Vieux Carré • A Truck Stop at Night With e.e. cummings • Breakfast with Emily Dickinson Next Morning • 6:20 • Jamaican Beaches • The Man in the Chair • Melinda, Dark Hair • Monkey Head Fallout • Beacon Falls • The West Wood’s Woman • The Dresses You Wear • Gloria • Second Avenue • Breakdown Child • Severe Thunderstorm Warning In Effect • Forced Social Interaction in Acrylic • Double Images • Amanda, Captured Without Her Hat • Not Even The Rain • Road Song • Standing on a Hillside in Early Autumn • The City Behind the Mirror • Twilight, No Dreams • Faces • 50K Babies, Crazy as Rats • Tortured Minds Sleep Poorly • Succubus • Memories Near Millville • The King Is Dead. Long Live The King • Window View • Wasted in the Night • Situation Warp • The Gatherer Dances • Taps • In The Land of the Koonga Girls • A Man With an Ax Thinking of Swimming • Her Dark Eyes • Sideshow • Scanners • Moving Seven Eyes • The Peach Picker • Laundromat • Artifical Life with Electric Light • Autumn • Coronado East • Limbo • Posse From River Rock Canyon • The Liquid Man Comes Home From Salem, Virginia • Remembrance of Things Past • Evening Trips to Lower Broad • Prom Queens, Beauty Contestants, Baton Twirlers • Darkshine • Christians • Opportunity for a Deathly Hot Summer • Provincetown and Others • The Attempt to Return an Inanimate Object • Jenny • Headset Cassette • The Road to Little Rock • Before This One • Household • Young Lover • Epitaph

 

 

MISTER JASPER’S MORNING VIGIL

 

Early morning darkness

Casts the windows reverse.

I cannot see out.

 

Yesterday’s memories scratch

At the ceiling

Imprinting their presence.

 

The face in the mirror is not mine.

The face is not mine.

It is the face for faces from the day

And left by itself, given its own way,

It may decide to cry.

 

Dawn music hides in the distance

Away from the wisps of fog

Hiding in the grass, dancing with the lawn furniture.

 

Beneath the dew the earth lies silent.

It waits with the intent

Of a tired, little kitten

Just opening its eyes.

 

I see no beginning.

No place for insanity

Or the meaning of vanity;

No purpose at work

 

I feel no hand on my hand

And I feel I cannot stand

The touch of the nothing

On my forehead.

 

I can hear birds singing

From hidden nests in the sky.

Their songs are the frightened kind;

They feel they will die:

 

The sun will not rise today,

The sun is dead.

I can feel the chill of perpetual twilight;

I must return to bed

And pull the blanket over my head

To hide from the darkness.

 

It is too late.

Night-dark wedded daylight

And faces past reached out pale, white arms.

 

It is the morning;

I have not gone.

 

 

AS THE RIVER RISES

When there is rain the river
Rises.  A soft
Rain rises it softly

Like the look of your legs
As they reach
             Gentle into the Sunday morning sun,

        A new love growing known;
Silence that speaks
Without sounds

Surrounds the still air
For a moment.

 

nothing

focuses but the light drowning

in dust specks whirling in disturbed

air or

            The sounds clicking time

by on an old digital clock

 

Radio

Forgotten from set.

Memories flare of

 

things gone wrong

or leave, at best, ignored

until tomorrow.

 

 

HIATUS IN BILOXI

Stark-faced dancers,
Loud rock and roll,
A braying cocktail bar girl winces

At the thudding crack of billiard balls. Round
Drink ringed tables,
Beer smelling carpet.
Sitting far from the men's room,
The smell of stale, soaked walls
And floors is scented over.
Legs hurt from crossing,
Neck stiff from shaking no
To table dancers, trips out back.

I can see the needle tracks
On the blond Indian princess...
Here are chance encounters in dimly-lit rooms
Nothing florescent or glaring through
Smoke clouded air conditioned.
Some car horns bark from outside
Muffled by cheap rug walls and
Sunlit streets and sidewalks.
Middle of the day from a night that lasts.

In the back they molt together,
Thinking of high tides and weather.

The princess looks stoned.
I wonder how long she'll live--
Couldn't be eighteen--
She stumbles in her dance and
When she leaves the stage
She does not walk the tables
But exits to the dressing room,
Perhaps to rest,
Perhaps to fix,
Replaced by a

Cowgirl,
White cowboy boots clicking
Picking colored spotlights
On her sequins.
I am amazed at the lack of light.
The dim is not dark, the dim is not clear,
The cowgirl lets her white hat fall
Gently to her back, held about her neck
By red string and a blue button.
Jill is her name,
She will not tell the rest.
The small cross tattoo speaks ownership;
I cannot see her on a Harley,
I do not buy her a drink.
She smiles and visits others.

In the back they molt together
Thinking of high tides and weather.

I need silence to remember;
Music hurts, video disturbs.
I need silence hard to come by
And catch a throw-away slogan...
A bit like a prisoner
Awaiting the turnkey.
A bit of dinner
To lay this body down.

Next, a society girl,
Fresh from coming out
In her red evening gown,
Shoes to match.
She walks the stage like
A pearl stringed model
Shedding first one glove,
Then the other.
When she unbuttons her side,
The slashes show childskin.
There is no note of age
On her arms
Where the white straps hold her gently.
I do not buy her a drink.

Up next is a chick,
Leather mini, thigh-high boots,
Long, black hair shining straight
From a time not too far.
She sways her blue beads
To Woodstock strains
But I look away,
Her sister's memory
Much too close.

Down the street in deathly heat,
The night pours on forever.
From porno store to sloppy whore,
Exhaust fumes smell of never.
Motel signs and cocaine lines,
Fading, growing drum beat,
Tourist traps selling maps,
My God, they are so clever.

And I have stayed too long in Mississippi,
Stayed too long on the Gulf, sick and sweet,
I have slept all day in sand burning heat
And wasted a night alone in this bar.
My plain motel is much too far
For walking at this hour
And so I wait for
two o'clock
To chime from
Davis tower.

 

OVERLAND BRIDGE

 

I wandered through the road hazards

And waited for a sign

Before the proclamation

Of a simpler recreation

And an easier way.

 

It was easier then.

Easier to walk and easier to fly

And easier in a hundred ways

Than now, in present days.

 

I crept along the silent streams

And listened to the lives

Before the occupation

And the hideous destination

Which became the dark.

 

And some never wonder

And some never fall.

They flee into spaces

And far away places.

 

I fear she will die before arriving

On rickety Overland Bridge

And the lake that it spanned

Now displaced by land

And dry, swaying sage grass.

 

And die without knowing

The opposite side

Or the feeling soon after

The sound of the laughter.

 

 

BLOOM DEADEYE BABY

The bloom deadeye baby left

When she left

Was circular on the highway

And it smoked

Like nothing else around.

And off in the distance,

Coupling with orange,

Deadeye baby left a sign

On the horizon

And the signal said enough

And it shrieked

Like nothing else in town.

 

 

EMPTY NIGHTS

 

Street lamps cast Van Gogh visions

Around themselves

Shining down on vacant streets.

On the close ones

You can see the poles.

In the distance

Starry nights waver

Interrupted by the red when cars put on their brakes.

Occasionally, a wire hangs between them

And its starkness

Calls a name loudly

To the puddles on the sides of streets.

 

 

FUGUE IN A# MINOR

 

I

 

A# Minor.

 

Conjure me a sorrowful tine,

Conjure me sadness.

The Conjure Woman stands alone:

            She wears a black dress

            Slit to the thigh

            And conjures me a sorrowful tine

                        Which bears my name;

            The name I was born with,

            (She has known it since birth)

                        The name of a singer

            Born into her land.

 

A# Minor.

 

Spin me a sad song,

Spin me to another land.

The Weaver Woman holds back in the clearing;

            She waves to me with a tired, old hand

            And spins a flaxen bolt,

            Ever so calmly,

                        Which bears my name;

            The name I was born with,

            (She has cursed it since birth)

                        The name of a minstrel

            Tossed into her lake.

 

II

 

A# Minor.

 

The skies fill with the notes they require.

They modulate and bend,

            apart they feel fine,

Together they drain a misery

Onto other windows

            Seeing what they can see.

Smiling faces,

Alone and together,

Apart and smiling, shaking hands.

 

The notes sail by.

 

Tomorrows and tomorrows and tomorrows piled high;

And laughs and cries and “how do you do’s.”

And teachers chuckling beneath their breath

At the joke they’ve pulled

            On the children.

They’ve come to show them secrets

 

Misery loves company…Billy loves Lucy…

And Lucy loves a hot dog in the morning in the park,

And the feeling she gets from being left in the dark

By her friends

            After an evening at the theater.

 

III

            Good times in the shadows

                        the last time reached for you.

 

 

FRONT PORCHES ON THE LAKESHORE

Dark-skinned,                                                  White blond,
Yellow bikini,                                                   Black polka dots,
Lounging on                                                      Front
Porch                                                               Steps,
Cold                                                                 Drink
Held                                                                 Near
by                                                                    Her
Naked                                                              Legs.

 

 

PROOFREADING

Walking into a dark room
At
nine o'clock
        No light

To light
The walls
                        And the wet cold
                        Of a fresh
                        Can of beer

Presses into
My palm,
        Guiding the
        Way past
        Obstacles strewn

On the
Floor.

The sound
Comes from a

                                                Ceiling fan
                                                Spinning like
                        A gyroscope
                        Stirring the
                        Memories within
                        The twenty
Pound bond
Littered in
No order and

Eight and a half
        Long grain
Proof copies
        Hit the floor
With the breeze
        Lying violently,
Making sounds
        Like bicycle

                Wheel with
                Clothespinned playing
Cards from thirty
Years ago.

 

 

DU VIEUX CARRE

Sunrise
§

Streets smell of stale
In the morning, humid
With the dampness of unseen fog.
Phantoms of night
Gone to their homes to
Sleep and prepare again.
Canal is dormant and Rampart
Weeps long and low.
The General, sideways to the river,
Ears closed to a lone
Saxophone crying the blues,
Keeps watch over cobblestones and nothing;
Sightless eyes stare out.
His prancing mount, frozen in battle,
Front hooves caught motionless and solid,
Holds its brass head high and proud,
Carries a man.

The clink and chatter of glass rolls lonely
In the Quarter.  Few cars creep
Past dreaming joints, their doors barred
For clean up.
A hint of coffee clouds mingle with the past
Perking porcelain puffs onto Royal
While the tax man tracks down
Pimps and chocolate whores
Hiding quietly in rooms behind multi-colored doorways.

There is a magic here.
Closed up tight it could be anywhere.
Strobe lighted spectres of misery
And the phantom Queen Marie
Strike chords in settling sea air.

A street sweeper approaches
Spewing water and whirling broom.

There is no land like this.
It is a dreamscape lost,
A battlefield grown over,
Echoing the spirits of soldiers,
Wounded and dying,
On a hardball maze.
It is a coliseum;
Lions and bears hide behind
Paint painted paint doors
Windowless and locked.
There are no ladies waiting.

The still is punctuated by an
Occasional compressor realizing the heat.

There are no dead today.
Still the bones decay
In Number One, crypts tilting,
Corrupted by the sinking
Of reclaimed bayou
Paced apart by an ancient surveyor,
Marked with fading arrows buried shaft down.
And in Number One at One, an oven crypt,
A startled lithograph wrapped in plastic
Stares back above a water glass and floating crucifix.
At Three, Queen Marie is honored.
Plastic beads, squirrel's tail,
Two bricks wrapped in foil,
Her tomb is marked with brick etched crosses,
The drawing tools left over for the next convert.
And between the bricks, a white Fender Medium peeks out
With logo up.

I stooped to get it
And thought twice.
Dropped it face down
And will never forget.

On top of the tomb, sea birds fight over
A chicken bone and tufts of fur
Decorated with plastic flowers and red ribbons.
Daring the pushers,
Black women in white dresses
Form a procession for the dead.
They walk slowly, in step with a heartbeat
For there are no dead today.
This is a holy place.

Uptown, the trolley clacks past,
First trip of the day,
Seats empty and lonely while
Traffic begins from a place far away
Bringing barkers and strippers,
Bartenders and vendors,
Reptilian tango dancers.
They drift in like a lone ship's horn
Across the
Mississippi
Wrapping their lives with the alleys.

Colors move in the French Market.
Greens and reds
And cheap sunglasses,
Yellows and whites
And turquoise necklaces,
Shining trinkets.
Sounds of shuffling
Invade the walkstones
Of Jackson Square.
Oyster shuckers don steel mesh gloves
To the rhythm of paddle wheels churning.

There are no dead today.

Day
§

Behind a China doll,
All the world is marching;
Marching, looking, clasping, grasping,
Aware and marching, almost silent,
Into streets cracked and broken.
The barricades are down.
Cross road traffic struggles through.
Breakfast waitresses, smiles tattooed,
Clatter platters, knifes, forks, and spoons
For the faces from a decade past.
They look this way and that
Out the windows of time machines,
Telescopic, ball-gazing eyes
Floating in a puddle of wasted life,
Too old now or used up for the circuit.
Where do they come from, these workers of the day?

There will be rain today.
I can feel it, smell it, off the Gulf;
It will not stop.

And the tourists,
Young kids in tow, walk the Quarter
Historically, before the sun sets;
Before the transformation.
They look in the cathedral
Or ride the river boats.
The paddle wheel sloshes the
Children to sleep; their dreams are of
Nothing and sometimes they fly.
Father and mother
Smile at each other.
They speak in hushed tones
Drinking Pina Coladas
On muddy brown water
Passing warehouses, half-listening
To Cajuns calling.

The air rises, tepid on the riverbank.
The breeze is hot,
No one looks well.
Walking hangovers gradually clear
With a lessening grimace from
Trolley bells clanging.
Inside, in hotel rooms,
The dreamers take showers.
On the darkside, the underside,
A woman kicks back natty covers,
Pads to the bathroom in dirty bare feet,
Pauses to look in the mirror
And remembers against it.
She turns on the water and rinses the night,
Incense burns her nostrils, hurts her eyes.
Her smock on the chair back
Is stained with bold glares.
She hails from out west where the buffalo roam.
The clubs and the night life, so different from home,
Have borrowed her soul.
Eight o'clock now,
The sun is descending.
The hookers are out
To practice pretending.
Eight o'clock now.

Night
§

Lanterns flickering, bulbs glow harsh.
The Shriners in town wear ridiculous fezzes.
Most brought their wives and
Most are old, creeping around the Quarter,
Being helped from the curbs.
You can tell who they are; they keep to the sidewalks
And to Bourbon and bourbon and water.
Jazz filters out Preservation Hall,
Mixes with rock and roll from
Topless Bottomless and drowns.
The painted ladies roam Bienville and Conti,
Toulouse and St. Peter,
Away from the crowds and men with their women.
You can hear them in silence;
A gris gris in a purse.

A black boy taps; his hat on the black boy top and
I can see him from a balcony above the street.
He spies me watching and points to his change.
I pitch him four quarters.
He scrabbles like a crab,
Bows low and forgets me.

On Canal, toward Rampart, a drunk asks a question.
He puts his hand on my shoulder and I draw back a fist
Because it is time to leave.

The moon is full on Lake Pontchartrain
And the shrimp boats with their lights on are working.
It takes forever to travel from
New Orleans,
Forever to cry for the dead.

 

 

A TRUCK STOP AT NIGHT WITH E. E. CUMMINGS

 

The bleached blond waitress takes our order

And twitches her big ass as she walks away.

I got a burger, he got some eggs

And the truck drivers stared at us as we

Stared out the window.

I could see his reflection in the glass

Beaming back from the darkness, a frown

            on his face, hair uncombed for days.

A C.B. radio crackled from the kitchen

            and he looked puzzled.

“It’s the radio,” I said, staring out.

America,” he mumbled, staring out.

We ate our food and left a tip,

            walked out into the darkness

            of the parking lot.



BREAKFAST WITH EMILY DICKINSON NEXT MORNING

 

She stared at her plate

As we heard a fly buzz.

I asked what was wrong,

And she lifted her head.

“I Heard A Fly Buzz When I Died,” she said.

 

She sipped scalding coffee,

Put a napkin in her lap.

I asked how she felt,

And she lifted her head.

“After Great Pain, A Formal Feeling Comes,” she said.

 

We went to the bedroom

To clean up our mess.

I asked her to help,

And she lifted her head.

“Ample Make This Bed,” she said.

 

“Damn the bed,” I said instead.

“I’m really quite happy you’re dead.”

 

 

6:20

 

Sounds from the stillness

Call from outside.

They peek around corners,

Come in with the tide

Washing up at this time.

 

Barely whispering, afraid to be heard,

Interrupted by crickets,

Not speaking a word,

They gather on the shore

For a final assault.

 

Surrounded by evening,

Sounds disappear.

They fade into fear.

There are no sounds here.

 

 

JAMAICAN BEACHES

 

Jamaican girls lie on the beaches;

They dream of mountains and far away reaches

On their backs on the blistering sands.

Away from the chill

Of the mad, biting winds

They play volleyball.

 

Not until their reflection

Can break the connection

Will they go to their homes

To drink Cuba Librés

And lounge in the tub,

Watching bubbles burst around them.

 

 On the highways they drive American cars

But find their way to Jamaican bars.

 

The ocean comes closer in November;

Makes Jamaican girls remember

The feeling of sand on their backs

And the touch of their lovers,

Alone in the night,

Just beginning to know.

 

The oceans are quiet now,

They’ve all gone away.

They could stand it no longer.

The seas won’t allow,

The girls cannot stay,

The current grows stronger.

 

I sit in my room,

I pray to the gods.

 

Tomorrow brings Jamaican girls back

For a walk on the beach.

Tomorrow brings Jamaican girls back.

 

Tomorrow they will be gone again

To their white cottages.

Tomorrow they will be gone again.

 

Shell shocked, lying cold and damp,

There is no one to light the lamp

 And recover the white sands.

Dark-haired beauties walking by;

None have ever caught my eye

 For more than an evening.

 

On the highways they drive American cars

 But find their way to Jamaican bars.

 

 

THE MAN IN THE CHAIR

 

The man in the chair watches peacefully

 While the women walk past,

 Heads in the sky,

No time for foolishness.

 

He sells his pot holders

And bright, yellow yardsticks

To the wives of the sailors,

Husbands at sea.

 

He whistles to himself of days gone by

 And watches his reflection

 In the restaurant window

Unable to remember what he looked like

As a young man.

 

 

MELINDA, DARK HAIR

 

Light leaves no sign on her hands;

The sleep will not cease.

Scattered pages from an incomplete novel

Blow across the floor

And dance with the dust balls

From under the dresser.

Clawed feet intercede.

 

An empty pack of Salems

Lies crumpled on the nightstand.

Sulphur clouds the air

From burning aloud.

Dark clouds gather.

The father waits in the courtyard

Smelling of yesterday.

 

The weather is changing,

Lives rearranging,

From the glimpses of light

Denying her hands.

 

 

MONKEY HEAD FALLOUT

Speak to me of jungles
Thick, green, smelling pools
Floating little lazy lily pads,
One behind the other
Where dark trees make love
Monkeys act like fools
To men who mirror savages
Ghosts of ancient ghouls
Similarity to both seeing
Cannot see them either.

        Here is a man.
        Here a man answers animal cries
        With a glance and a shake.

        Here is a man with no thought in his head.
        It is the scent,
        The smell of nothing.

        Here are the broken bones;
        The sprained, twisted limbs
        Of tomorrow.

        Here a beast ponders, paws
        At the vacancy,
        Makes animal noises.

Talismans, magic root, bark stained faces,
All search for silence between empty spaces,
Wait patiently, heads cocked, for whatever he says.

Here a man whispers low, afraid to be heard.

Speaktomeofjunglesthickgreensmellingpoolsfloatinglittle

lazylilypadsonebehindtheotherwheredarktreesmakelovem

onkeysactlikefoolstomenwhomirrorsavageryghostsofanci

entghoulssimilaritytobothseeingcannotseethemeitherherei

samanhereamananswersanimalcrieswithaglanceandashake

hereisamanwithnothoughtinhisheadjustlikemeandtherestof

youitisthescentthesmellofnothingherearethebrokenbonest

hesprainedtwistedlimbsoftomorrowhereabeastponderspaw

satthevacancymakesanimalnoisestalismansmagicrootbarks

tainedfacesallsearchforsilencebetweenemptyspaceswaitp

atientlyheadscockedforwhateverhesaysanditwontbemuchi

tneverisbelievemehereaman whisperslowafraidtobeheard.

 

 

BEACON FALLS

The leather wears slow on the sides
Of my boat shoes...ten years old
And I wear them each day.
Unk had a pair as long as I knew him.
Seldom worn on a boat,
They looked just like mine.
The overstuffed green chair
With doilies for the spots
Was were he sat and watched wrestling
And Lawrence Welk;
Me with my comic books,
One per haircut,
In his lap, on occasion,
More likely the floor.

Aunt Dort, the same dresses
Year after year,
Boiled chicken on Saturday
And mashed potatoes
With a stainless steel contraption.
A pie or two,
Lemon meringue,
Sat cooling on the windowsill
While Unk pulled weeds and snuck a smoke.
Sometimes I'd help him,
This giant in a Pendleton shirt,
Weed basket close by,
Digging slowly into the earth.
We would talk about nothing
And what I had learned.

 

 

THE WEST WOOD’S WOMAN

 

†I know the voices dying with a dying fall

 Beneath the music from a farther room†

 

The voice touches.

It slides from inside and hides in the covers

With distant white lovers

and sees all the sights.

And it knows.

 

It knows what remains

And it knows where I go.

And it knows all the pains

And ignores its own.

 

The warmth touches.

It slides from inside and darts around corners,

Knows all of the relatives and all of the mourners

And remembers.

 

It remembers days

And it knows its desires

As I slowly go mad.

I go mad.

 

But the days are longer

And the days grow old;

Still the days remain,

They complain of the cold

To the lady in white;

The lady in pain.

 

            I go mad,

            I go mad.

            I keep the ushers and the waiters sad.

                        I wear my shirts unopposingly blue,

I make my choice of ties bland, too.

                                    And if I wear a common shoe

 I keep the colors two by two…

 I never wear them to the zoo.

 

And keep my thoughts all too absurd,

So as not to distress her,

So as not to disturb

The lady in white.

 

For I have known her already,

Known her style,

Have known her actions all the while.

I have touched her body, mind, and soul

And relaxed my touch

To let her go.

 

 

THE DRESSES YOU WEAR

 

The gentlemen all love you;

You make them stand

And bow.

 

Tell an old story, give us a thrill,

As you walk past the viewing room viewing the gloom,

Casting quick glances, unaware of the chill,

Giving dead men life and forestalling doom

From entering exits through the back room.

 

That one must be of satin.

It swishes about your legs

Red the color red.

 

But the dresses you have sleep in your bedroom.

I see them on Monday, I see them on Thursday…

They hang on my bedpost, as inside a tomb.

Their hems touch the floor in a peculiar way

Like a new love growing old.

 

 

GLORIA

 

Roman soldiers walked past the weeping women

And laughed in their faces.

Gloria.

They swept their robes in front of them

And snickered out loud.

Gloria.

Gloria.

Gloria in excelsis Deo.

Glory to God in the highest.

 

Praise be the soldiers,

Heaven’s best bet.

 

 

SECOND AVENUE

Yellow moon off top of tree,
None have seen the things I see
Arriving home from office or
Leaving for day
                                        Not leaving for good
                                        Although I should
                                        Pass it on
                                        With a couple of aspirin for
My head today
Pounds like a
                                big bass drum...
BOOM!           Banging BOOM!           Beating BOOM!       
                        Playing out a heavy metal
Beat without guitar
To back it
Up and down no bass string to
Sing a melody in hard time.
                                Birds land on cabled tier,
                                None have heard the things I hear
                                Pulling in the drive
                                A formaldehyde rubdown for
My body
Today aches like a
                                broken string...

 

 

BREAKDOWN CHILD

Often we wonder,

        the use is for using                             for breathing

 for dying                                        for driving open roofed

on a warm spring night            for sending the car off

the edge of a bridge
                                                        into chilled, darkly

waters
        calling,
To be someplace else.
Often we ask,

        we bother for living for asking for gathering
        for singing off key to a radio song
                                                                for slitting

our throats from the day before
        when we asked much too much and too often
        belonging
To something or other.
Often we wonder,
        aloud to ourselves.

SEVERE THUNDERSTORM WARNING IN EFFECT

        Brown water swirling the scent
                of danger in darkness for rocks
                        and broken refrigerators
                                or cast away treadless

Quapaw

                                Tires stock gaps around corners in
                        dreams and ankle
                gripped between tree and
        swift water with

Quapaw

        Guiding the drowned
                rats away from my throat
                        's intermittent consciousness
                                pain the feeling helplessness
                        God fiberglass
                will break with
        force thunderstorm water

Quapaw

        Duplex canoe
           came a crack in the middle

             freedom was never so sweet
                                in
america's small city's
                        wilderness damaged
                liberation almost destiny
        yes, it was this bad until the water

Quapaw

        I sleep no for days and nights
                your sleek lines awakening
                        me in cold sweat and
                shaking fingers I thought I
        was the dead man living for hell

Quapaw

        Rushing, forty miles an hour
                rendered you in two I somersaulted
                        on the banks and never thought
                                of you crushed down the
                        creek on the back of
                violent flash flood wakings
        And I saw you eleven months later

Quapaw

        Washed against a stone bank
                your other half a memory
                        but the scar still exists
                                and hurts when it rains
                        no one will know
                but you and I
        or a doctor when asking

Quapaw.

FORCED SOCIAL INTERACTION IN ACRYLIC

Figures dance under empty staircases,

In the background, painted furniture.

Shadows of people in nearer places

Speaking in broken French to the new neighbor

Who wears mirrored glasses in the shower
And carries candle holders and a dead flower

In profile.

Shifting light patterns fall on pale faces,

Blank eyes blink back coldly on paper.

Roses droop, dying in green vases

Filling the air with dark sickly vapor

While hiding behind the hostesses arm

And sadly announcing her lack of charm;

Lack of style.

 

 

DOUBLE IMAGES

 

There are double images here.

They step on toes and then disappear

Into closets, hiding in the dark.

They come in through the duct work

And on Sundays, they lurk in the park.

 

There are double images here.

They know my real name

And I know theirs.

 

There are double images here.

I hold in the hatred, I hold in the fear

That they will awaken in despair.

In the specks on the windowpanes,

In the mugs with their coffee stains—

There are double images there.

 

 

AMANDA, CAPTURED WITHOUT HER HAT

She wears a blouse of silk and lace

And no one here can see her face.

 

Left alone, westward bound,

No one here can hear a sound.

No one here can speak a word,

No words here can yet be heard.

Some are lost and some are found,

No one here can hear a sound.

Eyeless faces drift about here,

Mindless heads are very near here.

Thoughtless bodies try to get there;

Horror comes and says a strange prayer.

 

She stands alone, hand on the door,
                        And waits for her lover

Returning from war.

 

NOT EVEN THE RAIN

 

How delicious

Are your legs

On a hot summer day

When you finish

In your flower garden,

Take a glass of water,

Drink some,

And pour the rest

Over your body

Washing away the

Salty dew.

The droplets splash

Indiscriminately on the planks

And talk to each other

Of the taste

And the memory

Flowing away.

 

 

ROAD SONG

 

Brown babies,

Lying in the sun,

Drinking rum and Coke from plastic cups,

Licking their lips

And oiling their shoulders,

Shading their eyes,

Hiding from lies,

And telling short stories;

Diving occasionally into the ocean.

 

Bronze ladies,

Strolling the beach,

Looking out at islands and surf,

Traveling over deserts

And crying at their faces,

The evidence of places

And the days they tried to please

Their lovers long gone.

 

Singing girls,

Laughing at the sunsets,

Running to pavilions and parking lots,

Tossing their hair,

Winking at their sisters

And nursing the blisters

They got lying in the sand

Learning to grow older.

 

 

 

STANDING ON A HILLSIDE IN EARLY AUTUMN

(For Robert Frost)

The land outside I find is bare,

No tree to stop the sun's bright glare,

The crackling leaves break underfoot

And nothing moves nor does it dare.

I see no souls in the forest west.

I cannot stop to drink or rest.
There is no need for walking now.

There is no time to start a quest.

The air is heavy, damp, and thick.

I start to move, but not too quick.

Away from here the world is sick.

Away from here the world is sick.

 

 

 

CITY BEHIND THE MIRROR

 

I recall an old medicine cabinet

With a slot for used razor blades

Machined neatly in its back.

 

The blades fell into wall space

Between rooms where nothing lives.

 

The house with the cabinet was old

Fifteen years ago but

I switched to an old razor,

 

Put in three years worth of blades

To make my mark on history

 

And mingle my life with the past

Blades sleeping next to each other

Closer than ashes.

 

 

TWILIGHT, NO DREAMS

 

Eyes closed and mocking

Sleep under wool blankets

Drawn up high.

 

No phantom nightmares living under

Pressures drawn from drifting curtains.

Dim light, twilight

Lasering between windowpanes

Falling short of target

Nightstands.

 

Underneath, barely breathing,

Day dies by.

 

 

FACES

 

As a child, I saw faces in stone,

In clouds, in tree bark, in

stars at night.

 

The faces became people in stone,

In clouds, in department store windows, in

disguises at night.

 

At night, the spring moon casts

Light on the chessboard.  The faces

in the window

 

Sometimes cry or howl or laugh

Or wink when a tree branch

waves with the wind.

 

And I see this when I awaken

At midnight or later, sleep disturbed

by something or other

 

That leaves just as suddenly

As I remember it coming

like the faces in stone,

 

In clouds, in tree bark,

In department store windows, in disguises at night,

In stars.

 

 

50K BABIES, CRAZY AS RATS

We are the hard;

  this is what we do:

Drink chablis with remorse,

go to the golf course,

 

and breathe in the bullshit.

We are the smart;

  this is what we do:

Drive around in our cars,

stare up at the stars,

 

            and write down our lives in letters.

We are the great;

  this is what we do:

Take vacations in France,

very rarely dance,

 

and dine with the Governor.

We are the sick;

  this is what we do:

Hang out around our pools,

give cash to our schools,

 

and sing to ourselves.

We are the angry;

  this is what we do:

Curse all of our furies,

some of our worries,

 

and most of the world.

We are the good;

  this is what we do:

Go to church on Sunday,

the bank on payday,

 

and never look back.

We are the dead;

  this is what we do:

 

 

TORTURED MINDS SLEEP POORLY

Deadnight sounds of nothing.

An occasional truck leaves diesel windings

To drift over dark air

And even they fade quickly.
Daytime's dogs lie dead.

Overhead, no image stops a night life moon
Glaring dimly on the ground

Through slow clouds.

Random houses break the dark.

Their porchlights halo in the distance

For no significant reason,

Seen by no one.

Outside, the wind is hiding.

It waits behind bushes for light and sound

And dew-draped landscapes,

Sleeping calmly.

 

 

SUCCUBUS

She comes softly in the night

After dying breaths in pale, dim light,

Offers her presents to a waiting young stranger.

Unaware of the anguish, unafraid of the danger

He sees only the woman in white.

She waits in the shadows for the right time.

Plans out her words, sure they will rhyme;

A simple song chanting, no love at all,

She comes to his bed, convinced he will fall.

She quietly leaves as she enters

And still in his dreams he remembers,

And when he awakens and throws back the cover,

And searches in vain for his phantom lover,

He cries for the touch of her fingers.

 

 

MEMORIES FROM MILLVILLE

The hill was tall,
                         taller than anything
And to make it to Bennie's
you had to walk
To the top,
And it just kept
                         coming.
The last time I walked it
Was nothing--
couple of hundred yards
--And the houses had shrunk.

And the old smell was gone
From the
Naugatuck River
                        That used to foam
Like peroxide on a cut.

 

 

THE KING IS DEAD.  LONG LIVE THE KING

 

There is no ruler; no rules.

This is the law.

 

Servants scurry about

Using table scraps as stepping stones,

Scarps strewn across open rooms

In no apparent pattern

With no apparent rhyme.

Servants search for walkways leading nowhere,

Stroll harmlessly through passages

Seeking exit into ghostly ruins

Filled with the bodies of

Little dead men,

Eyes open, looking.

 

Remember what they saw.

There is no ruler; no rules.

This is the law.

 

Waiters on roller skates

Swerve past tables of plaster

holding high their silver trays,

Aware of only posture and grace,

Looking this way and that

For the correct table.

 

They pause (only briefly) to nod to each other

Or rub their jaw.

There is no ruler; no rules.

This is the law.

 

 

WINDOW VIEW

I watched some leaves on

The ground outside

Next to a light

 

  beige building with dark brown trim

And they never moved.  They stayed the
  same.

I watched them for hours but not for days.

 

 

WASTED IN THE NIGHT

 

The night arrives quickly

As of late.

It breathes in a first breath

And grins in anticipation

Of yesterday’s unfinished business

And this life.

 

At odds with the soft light

Echoing from inside buildings

And persons unseen

But for shadow.

 

Gliding down city streets

The night pauses (only for a moment)

And licks its lips,

Winks at the street people

And continues on its journey.

 

The night saw the rain fall

And thought it oppressive;

Saw ten thousand dreams

And thought it amusing;

Spied five ladies broken

And laughed out loud.

 

The night leaves too soon

With tears in its eyes

And gold in its pockets.

It dreams of tomorrows

And the lives it will steal.

 

 

SITUATION WARP

 

Like smoke rings

From a cigarette

They left us alone.

Afraid of the dangers

That lay in the future,

Weary of the sameness

That stayed with the past.

 

Ridges and rises

And far away memories

 

Kept distance between us

And kept us apart.

We wondered, “How long?”

 

For most of the time

And slept with the same fears,

Played catch in the sand

 

With a blue, rubber ball

We found by a sailboat,

Watched the gulls fly

Off the horizon,

Wondered.

 

 

THE GATHERER DANCES

 

Only in autumn:

Chill, nightly winds believe,

Young ones turn out to leave,

And the Gatherer waits for his dance,

Only in autumn

Will he drift from his palace

To fill his black chalice

With the blundering children of chance.

 

Only in autumn

When the sun sets swiftly

And the days drift quickly

And the Gatherer walks in the wings,

Only in autumn

Can he reach from the dark

And leave his dark mark

On the children and all of their things.

 

Only by lying

Can he make them his own.

Not by calls or by darkness;

His name is not known.

 

Grim, plastic face masks

And tossed about rags,

Bo-Peep and a sheep,

Red paper bags.

 

The Gatherer waited and called to us all.

Only in autumn

Can the nights make this sound

            When the children come ‘round

And only in autumn can they answer his call.

 

 

TAPS

 

 Passing the cemetery today I thought I saw a soldier

 Being buried in the mud.

His eyes were closed,

His features posed,

A smile on his lips.

 

Beneath the casket water trickled.

It sprang from an underground stream.

  And the soldier worried:

  “Am I too young?”

  “Am I too old?”

  “Have I kept too silent?”

  “Should my comrades be told?”

 

Above, the horizon cleared,

Left day as it was found;

Sunlight.

Ground.

The people left to mourn,

They were driven out of town.

Men in black Cadillacs.

 

The smile faded.

 

 

IN THE LAND OF THE KOONGA GIRLS

 

Iced tea makes them vomit

And heels hurt their feet.

Sandals looking smiling faces,

Bourbon on the rocks.

No clarinets, smooth vocals,

No farmers, geeks, or yokels.

 

Bamboo stops the sunlight,

Ceiling fans bring breezes.

Almond eyes silking sarongs,

West clothes to mop hot faces.

Red guitars, screaming voices,

Plenty laughter, plenty choices.

 

Drifting slowly with the ocean,

Warming sand beneath.

Fingers cooling arms on fire,

Gentle voices hum with peaceful.

Candles burning, incense rises,

In the land of no disguises.

 

 

A MAN WITH AN AX THINKING OF SWIMMING

 

I saw a man with an ax

In autumn on a hillside in Vermont.

He worked for a time

 

Then rested,

Then worked again.

The ax was well-worn;

So was the man.

There was a lake behind him

 

And the day was warm and dry; one of the last.

The man was sweating

While he swung his ax.

 

 

HER DARK EYES

Away from here, her dark eyes

Think curious thoughts

And look out windows

 

Criss-crossed by rain streaks

While I sit on the couch

And look at television,

 

Sound turned down,

Thinking of her dark eyes
Thinking curious thoughts

 

On a rainy winter's evening.

No moon to light the night.

Nothing wrong, nothing right.

 

No moon to light the night.

 

SIDESHOW

Someone there is
Who doesn't know the
Carnival sideshow or
Wonder at
The grotesque little chessmen
Wobbling to their places
On bowed legs

Or the clowns and barkers
Floating faces amid colored
Streamers and the sound of
Shoe leather on graveled path

The smells of cotton candy
And candy apples,
Hot dogs, hamburgers
Sizzling on steel
Popping and crackling
In clouds of pale steam

The occasional strong scent of
Diesel fumes when the wheel is spinning
its reds and greens into blur
Or the
Himalaya reverses
With flashes of lightning and
Strong rhythm speakers

Then dying away
Slow, like a sputtering candle
As stragglers scrape to their cars
Holding balloons and stuffed dolls
Lights flicker and fade off
Behind them against the sky
Burning crimson with children's
Enchantment and older folks dreams.

 

SCANNERS

 

I

Gently.  Let the ocean find its level,

Rising slowly about the water trees.

Along the sand alleyways,

It spills the lives of thousands

Into the mud

And licks softly at the dawn.

 

Off in the distance,

A ship lulls in the surf

Waiting for the lighthouse

To give it a shot.

 

Smelting sparks tumble in the horizon

As if they know

And settle into fantasy

By the ocean.

 

The tired,

The wealthy,

The desecrated, old ones

Pass in front of the waters.

 

The skies fill with lights and bright fires,

They spill onto forests and funeral pyres.

They bend over backwards

And cause a romance.

They spill onto Broadway, inspire a dance.

 

II

I had a vision:

I saw the dead beauty.

She was standing in front of yesterday’s boathouse

With a glowing red robe in her hand.

She threw the robe into the sea

And smiled as it burned.

 

She walked then,

She grinned at the distance

And the resistance

She met from within.

 

She crossed into meadows

Where only the soul goes

And laughed at the sickness

Of the ladies in shadows

As they stood with their sadness;

Mouths open,

Crying aloud

            For the second act.

 

III

Burning alone in the fields

Crying among the silence in the night

Drowning in the harbors of gloom

Screaming with the voices of others

In a vacuum.

 

IV

Universal Pilgrim:

 

“You carry bags of books

And wander around without a wallet.

You reassure your companion

With a credit card account

And you make seem obscene

The high-school queen

Settling into motherhood.”

 

The Citizen:

 

“Leave me alone.

I’ve had enough

Of your rantings,

Your crusted, old chantings

In the harbor.

 

“Your sickness is rampant.

It hides in the alleyways

Of sad, silent sinners;

Their ratty, old gardens.

 

“It glances at opulence

And laughs in its face

Until seven each day

When its time for tea.”

 

The Author:

 

“Am I mad?

Have I come so far for this?

Is this on target or is something amiss?

Can I come to dinner

And expect a kiss?

 

“Or is it too late?

And is it too far?

And can I get there only

Through the sounds of the lonely?”

 

 

MOVING SEVEN EYES

They are all around here, these moving seven eyes;

One gone blind, one bleached white,

One grown older, another shut tight.

The one in the corner tells only lies;

A pair wearing trenchcoats think they are wise.

 

They wait in the windows

And watch for the headlights;
            They search the horizon for gold,

They flutter, fade, and get into fights

And do anything that they're told,

Counting their passions on fingers and toes,

They calmly discuss the cut of their clothes.

 

One gone blind, another shut tight--
These are the ones with the keenest sight.

 

 

THE PEACH PICKER

 

On the edge of the orchard, I stopped in the sun.

The peach picker labored, so far from done

With his peach-picking playthings and his baskets of none

That I wanted to help.

 

He moved his ladder, limb after limb,

Picking his peaches, the light growing dim

From the sun falling slowly, its warmth lighting him,

Shining from behind.

 

The peach picker left then, drove away in the dark.

His peach trees are empty now, the branches are stark,

And I took out my knife, carved my name in peach bark,

And the moon called me to sleep.

 

 

LAUNDROMAT

Washing machines

And crazy, dark ladies

Line the walls and do nothing

But look at each other.

Orange plastic chairs wait

On wobbly black legs;

Their cracks are their souls.

Crazy, dark ladies watch
On flabby, old legs;

Their quarters are lifetimes.

 

 

ARTIFICIAL LIFE WITH ELECTRIC LIGHT

A dirty room with pine board floor.

A rusting car

Cranks slowly and dies

in a cloud of blue smoke

smelling of life hung in the air.

Soup in a can on a dust covered shelf.

A wrinkled potato

Bobs, floating in a sink

soaking some life from

the cold, dingy water.

Walls behind walls behind walls.

Yesterday's dreams

Go through gaps in the ceiling

taking their cue from

a long ago feeling.

 

 

AUTUMN

 

Few leaves on the trees;

the ones left are golden.

Moss creeps slowly

up trunks,

not so slowly

it cannot be seen.

No sun shines now.

 

No warm place to sleep,

no place to rest.

Rain claps against

windows,

staccato, like

a bad drummer.

No moon lights the night.

 

The animals prowl restlessly

waiting for another day.

Girls wear brightly colored

nylon jackets

to keep out

the weather.

They cover their hair with plastic.

 

Fires burn slowly;

illumination, little heat.

Cars with their

lights on

flash no warning

to the air.

 

 

 

CORONADO EAST

Apartment complex with sauna bath

            Standing separate on a hill

                        Highway in view from the pool.

 

                        On the balcony, a fool

            Watches cars and takes a pill.

Joggers jog the jogging path

Sweating through their clothes;

All of them like those.

Video players with skin flicks

            Run day and night and day

                        Afraid of the truth.

 

                        In their mirrors, youth

            Laughs and cannot stay.

Yesterday passes and gently picks

The dying thorns from the stem;

All of those like them.

Music plays through pictures while

            Rattling them on their walls,

                        Shaking paint to floors.

 

                        Inside, behind the doors,

            They walk quickly down the halls
Careful not to lose their style.

Cinderellas at the ball;

Those of them like all.

 

 

LIMBO

Dark drummers beat
Hidden bass line
In limbo
Hidden on a backstage
Behind a black girl singer
Straining her voice,
Keeping subdued
In limbo
While dancers
Glide by
In silk dresses
And satin pants
Made in a Philippine
Shack
Laying back
In limbo.

 

 

POSSE FROM RIVER ROCK CANYON

They chase after bad guys

And water their horses.

Skies come and go alternating with blackness.

The insides of their legs play dead while they ride

And they dream of their women

And warm, dry beds.

And they dream of fried chicken;

Bourbon at night.

In the morning they pretend

And sip at their coffee.

Daybreak comes slowly, replacing the night.

They saddle their horses and drown out the fire

And ride down the highways stopping only for gas

And they dream of their ladies

And their own waterbeds.

And they dream of baked flounder;

White wine at night.

 

 

THE LIQUID MAN COMES HOME FROM SALEM, VIRGINIA

He found a bent nickel lying on the ground

Next to a piece of gravel or two

On the road leading from Salem

And picked up the nickel,

Put it in his pocket,

No purchase in mind.

The nickel escaped from a hole in his pants

And slid down his leg back to the ground.

His watch clicked on.

The sun came and went.

He found home.

The paperboy came and told him, "A dollar five, sir."

He pulled out his wallet, removing a dollar.

"I've got a nickel here," he said,

Reaching into his pocket.

 

 

REMEMBRANCE OF THINGS PAST

 

You dropped a bit of icing

From the Hostess cupcake

 

You were eating

When you got here.

 

After you were gone I went outside,

 

Watered the trees,

Came back inside

And tasted it

For the memory.

 

 

EVENING TRIPS TO LOWER BROAD

 

One color dead.

Sleep comes badly in the twilight

Of stars, moon, and streetlight.

Poured magic from inside a kettle drum

Crashes inside a skull

The pounding made dull

By ten thousand little dead men

From Korea

Smelling of shit and fish guts

In the chill of the evening.

 

One color dead, one color broken.

Back crushed on the sidewalk by middle-class winos

Searching for a Porsche or designer clothes

On the streets of the city.

Looking through a bad mistake,

They give their heads a valiant shake.

 

Afraid to stop and smell the thickness of the exhaust

and the stench of the Thermal Energy Plant and the

rich, sweet gulps of downtown’s porno district with the

whores and drunkards and quarter-a-pop flicks and

where do you park the car?

 

And where to go, what to do?

Park cars at the hotel across the street?

Sweet floors?  Cook meat?

I will wear dark glasses to make quick retreat

And watch for city cops as they walk their beat

Taking time to find defeat.

I will buy potted plants to garnish the lobby.

I will use my money to pain the ceiling.

            It is my intention to heighten the feeling.

            To keep the mind close to reeling.

I will only feed the helpless

They know less

Than others do.

 

But the others still exist.

I knew they would.

They exist in the bowling alleys

Of darkened, weeping wives

And have always been.

 

 

PROM QUEENS, BEAUTY CONTESTANTS, BATON TWIRLERS

 

Where are the ladies from yesterday’s ball?

Have they left their tomorrows waiting?

They can listen to teardrops from yesterday’s fall

And spend their evenings hating

The memories of yesterday’s ball.

 

The ladies sit along the walls.

Hiding their eyes from the room,

They touch-up their lipstick

And brush off their cheeks.

 

They smile at their lovers

On the opposite side,

Grinning and drinking of war

And the future.

 

What became of the memories of yesterday’s ball?

What has become of the ladies?

They have lapsed into silence and heard the shrill call,

Cast their caution to the seas

And forgotten yesterday’s ball.

 

 

DARKSHINE

 

I write poems at night

When sleep will not take me

Or allow me escape.

I am the madman, Madame,

And I’ve come for your daughter.

 

You boo-hoo until daybreak,

You make Creole sauces,

Your call upon Jesus,

And polish your crosses

 

But your daughter knows better.

She walks on the nightpath;

Smokes Marlboro cigarettes,

Drinks western Chablis,

So she doesn’t appear

All that normal…for here.

But don’t worry so much—don’t make

Yourself nuts,

I don’t sleep at night.

 

Still, it doesn’t seem right

To live without light.

 

 

CHRISTIANS

 

So many secrets

inside these walls

and urges suppressed

that

            they

lock      you

up         like

dreaming

free, never free

from the others forever

unless to go simply to church,

to work,

to play

  softball

free, never free

for thinking

or not.

 

 

OPPORTUNITY FOR A DEATHLY HOT SUMMER

 

Hand brushing over

The hint of a breast;

Slender, gentle arm.

Legs too long

Touched with blond down;

The hint of warm.

Deep crystal eyes

Staring within;

Soul on fire.

Wet glistening back

Reminded of rain;

Body desire.

 

Lie on the covers, it’s too hot beneath,

The A.C. will battle the outside

Think of silk dresses

And bright, sparkling glowballs.

 

Feel by quivering

Fingers so near;

A final misgiving.

Fashion mag mask face

Left all alone

One reason for living.

 

 

PROVINCETOWN AND OTHERS

 

Then come the tides of Cape Cod on the bay

And plastic shovels and pails

Filled with toe-dug clams

cherrystones and quahogs.

Little girls, all arms and legs,

In frilled bottom bathing suits

Not far from the mothers.

Close behind stirs Hammonnasset,

Rows of trailers and a huge wood pavilion—

Cousins in lifeguard chairs,

Honey wagons in dreams

Or sailing beyond

blue polka dots flapping

Dreaming the waters of Rehobeth,

Of surfboards and canvas rafts

Or sand dusted boardwalks and ketchup.

Girls in bikinis

Farther down the beach

Out in the ocean

But close to the shore.

Fort Walton’s cold water,

Fatigues to my knees as

Darkness closed in.

Biloxi’s warmth, almost a bath,

Thick, brown, stinking bottom turn to

Women on towels, coming back to the room

For a shower and change.

Then out to the street for

Oysters on the

half,

bourbon on the

rocks,

walks around midnight.

Then come the sands of the visions of Rio.

 

 

THE ATTEMPT TO RETURN AN INANIMATE OBJECT

 

A vague gesture stood on the lawn

Next to sliced milk jug weather vanes

And tossed a coin

Over its shoulder.

The coin landed on the beak of a ceramic duckling and

Died.

Behind the vague gesture,

Inside a house,

A very large man fried an egg

Over easy

And counted out the back beat to an old song.

A woman he had never known heard him,

Tapped her pink feet on the bathroom tile

And tweezed a hair from her chin.

Alone, on the lawn,

A crying child returned to sleep.

 

 

 

JENNY

 

I saw her name

on a white label

on black shiny cardboard

 

After the songs

and the dinner

and I’d known her forever,

 

Her long dark hair,

and I called to her upon awakening

 

but she was away

so I dropped the pink flower

that I had picked

 

from the flowering peach

into a book of Keats

and left it for another day,

Jenny.

 

 

HEADSET CASSETTE

 

With a headset

Cassette

Play on

Alone

Sitting at a desk

Someone could

Tap your shoulder,

Kiss your neck.

The fear

Is delicious.

 

 

THE ROAD TO LITTLE ROCK

 

Roller coaster highway

Rides from Memphis

Heading west;

Flatlands,

Badlands.

The devil rides the wind.

He peeks through the vent,

Sends the thunder; trucks,

Smiles a toothy grin.

 

We never see him east.

he stays close to home,

Bathes in the Old Man,

Loses Interest.

 

 

BEFORE THIS ONE

 

I wrote a poem

Right before this one.

it was a love poem.

I erased it.

So, I’ll tell you what to do.

 

Go to my gravestone,

Listen carefully.

 

I will sing it to you.

 

 

HOUSEHOLD

 

A young girl pulls on jeans,

White socks her feet,

Slips on athletic shoes,

Chooses a thin turtleneck

And over it, a plaid flannel shirt.

 

She combs blond hair with hands,

Shakes her head and checks her face

In the smoky mirror,

Wonders about the day,

Checks a small blemish.

 

In the back bedroom a baby cries for its mother.

She throws a towel over her shoulder,

Heats formula on the stovetop,

Checks the temp on her wrist, dies of boredom,

Feeds the kid.

 

It squirms and giggles, drinks.

It coos and wiggles, pukes on her shirt.

She lays it back down,

Turns on the TV,

Settles in.

 

 

YOUNG LOVER

 

When you were a child,

A little girl,

What did you dream?

Was the house next door

A giant face at night,

Windows glowing light

Through glass eyes

With a central unit

Acting the nose?

And was there a smile

When you were a child,

A little girl,

Dreaming?

 

When I was a child,

A little boy,

Dreaming,

I saw into the future.

A little girl, dreaming,

Held out her hand,

Afraid of the face in the house

Next door.

 

 

EPITAPH

 

And downstairs, in a book of Keats,

a newly thrust

pink flower

waits foolishly.

 

It should be removed,

But someday, when I have forgotten,

the book will be opened

by accident

 

and you could return

in a faulty memory

 

I can recognize your face

If dreams be an omen,

Maybe to life.