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About the Museum:

In 1919 Bagasse Mumblestoats, fresh from his WWI tour in France with the famed Lafayette Espadrilles, returned to his home town of Redbone with a burning desire. It was eventually cured with liberal doses of salvarsan and mercury, which allowed the young Bagasse to wed his childhood sweetheart, Gematria Pulverington-Wheatwhistle, heiress to the fabled Wheatwhistle tinsel-mining fortune. Gematria shared her husband's  vision of a museum in Redbone that would attract worldwide attention and "really put the place on the map," as she so often put it.

Bagasse had liberated many paintings from French restaurants, bars and bordellos, and this became the foundation for the Mumblestoats collection. As all collections profit from a common theme, the Mumblestoats decided to specialize in the art of the Depressionist school, which most other museums rejected as being too miserable, dejected and hopeless to warrant space on a wall.

Depressionism, according to the landmark Johnson & Jansen "Big Book o' Art Stuff," is not limited to a single place or time. Instead it reflects the low point of an otherwise highly regarded artist's career. Picasso's "Blue Period" is a perfect example of this creative state of mind. Mrs. Mumblestoats describes it perfectly when she says "that boy was lower than an ant's bellybutton."

The complete catalogue raisonné of the Bagasse & Gematria Mumblestoats' Museum of Depressionist Art is now available online, with commentary graciously supplied by Gematria Mubblestoats and the museum's curator emeritus, Mr. Harvey Skopskie Bassoon.  Also available for online visitors is the independently administered sculpture wing of the Museum, the Gladys Dwindlebimmers Ralston Gallery of the Unidentifiable. Please visit the Gallery after you have toured the paintings of the Museum. For further immersion in artsy fartsiness, please visit our good friends at the Museum of Bad Art (art too bad to be ignored!)


Dreams and Visions
(click on a painting for detailed view and commentary) 

Nightmare of the Retired School Crossing Guard

Lady Macbeth's Dream
Fantasy of an Orkin Man

High and Outside: Street Beggars Take an Opium Break



Saint Francis on Ecstasy

The Artist's Harem Indifferent to the Vision of the Floating Hairy Breasts
Landscape with Cardinal, Passenger Pigeon and Enormous Cat Head

The Lester Children Find Mommy's Happy Pills



Award Winner, Portraiture Category, Alamena State Prison for the Criminally Insane

Dreams of a Young Swineherd
Premonition of a Future Catastrophe

The UFO Incident at Galilee


Under the Water Lilies (Moanet) Office Xmas Party, London Society of Morticians, 1905 (Monk)

Self-Portrait in Straitjacket (Rumbrand)

Young Man Receiving  Divine Call (Raphaelli)
Young Girl with Noose (Vermineer) Self-Portrait of the Artist with His Ex-wives (Boogaloo)
Blue Boy with Blue Dog (Gainesboro/Rodrigger) Carnivore Cruise Lines:  Economy Class (Juryrig)
Still Life with Prozac (van Gark) Saturday Night at  Tony's Pizza Palace (Prosciutto)
Madonna on the Rocks (DiCapriovinci) Fallen Angels? (unknown artist)
Slumped Figures with Sterno (Gagon) The Fraternity Party Gets Out of Hand (Boggle)
Whistler's Overbearing Mother (Whistler) Lipizzaners Performing at Sea World (Watercrone)
The Big Bruise (Rotko) Leda Loves Livestock (Dicapriovinci)
Partially Undraped Rodent (Sureart) Moaner Lisa (DiCapriovinci)
Young Man with Codpiece (Bronzenose) Portrait of the Reverend and  Mrs. Twickensham (Cowpie)
Nightmare of the Retired School Crossing Guard (Dooley) The Chiropractor and His Patient (Pollyollyinfrei)
Pork Brains in Milk Gravy (Warhole) Finale to 'Genesis -- the Musical'  (Bleak)
Fog (Le Brume) Hey, Sailor, New in Town? (Rumdens)
Eve's China Pattern Discontinued (Fresco) Eve, Discovering Adam's  Allergy to Apples, Offers Him the Cabbage of Temptation  (Dewar)

Rhino auf Dotz (Dewar)

Portrait of His Eminence the Cardinal Alphonso  (Artsinbozo)
Unfinished Portrait of George Washington (Stewart) Government Office Building, Amsterdam 1560 (Boggle)
Road Rage, 1512 (DiCapriovinci) The Lady Gabrielle  Fine-Tunes Her Android  Servant, Sally (The Master of the Blue Fountain)
Daycare Hell (Tisane) Madonna and Child (Jean Fochit)
Self-portrait with New Hat (Praznewski) Elsa the Dognapper in Custody (Caterina Heimlichsen)
Back of "Autumn Landscape with Waterfowl" (Gijsbrechts) Lady Macbeth's Dream (Staff Sergeant John Singer)
Woman Wearing Chastity Suit (Bronzenose) All Your Bass Are Belong to Us (Anonymous)
Genetically Engineered Pear (Botthefarm) Wars of the Taste Police: The Battle Against Lawn Ornaments (Catlung)
Santa on the Skids (Raphaelli)) Fantasy of an Orkin Man (di Comosol)
Children of Pierre Janssen,Discoverer of Helium (Smirtch) Aurelius Maximus Fails His Field Sobriety Test (Angers)
From "J. Edgar Hoover--The Boudoir Portraits" (Hyacinth)) Self-Portrait Without Spectacles (Biertopfer)
They're Doges-- and They're Playing Whist! (Dellatourisme) Landscape with the City of Delft (Konnips)
The Unsuccessful Transvestite (Tulusletrack) The Sacrifice of Isaac Averted (Alighieri)
New Cheer with Blue-Magic Whiteners  Comes to the Village of Badajoz  (Yugo) Mirror, Mirror Off the Wall (Fellaspez)
A Day in the Life:
Bill Shakespeare and Kit Marlow at a Loss for Words
Charon Takes a Fare from a Prospective Passenger for a Ferry Ride Across the Styx (Nohope)
Movement #2 (Pollykaka) Portrait of George Pazenewski After Failing the Village People Audition (Fellassez)
The Nude Flume Ride at Six Flags Over Brighton (Bleak) Burger Wars: The Final Casualty (Gerôme)
Ha-Nah-Chep-Tu-Es-Tep-Hu-Her-Shey Young Girl with an Attitude (DiCapriovinci)
The 'Iron Hombre' Dodecathlon, Mexico City, 1907 (Passouta) The Naughty French Postcard (Rumbrand)
Waitress at the Cannibal Kitchen Restaurant (Lechter) Dutch Calligraphy: The Suicide Note (Mitsubishi)
The Stallions Avenge the Honor of the Sicilian Filly (Morbid) The Heartbreak of Genetic Engineering (Morbid)
Portrait Of John Wilkes, Inventor (Hogwarts) Diogenes, Having Failed in his Search for an Honest Man, Finds Some Stoic Dogs (Gerôme)
Sacrifice of the Last Devotees of the Wholesome Breakfast (Gerôme) Portrait of Anne of Cleavage (Wholebean)
Portrait of George Glutz, Champion 'Baccy Chaw Spitter (Colter) Unfinished Portrait of Leonard Bonaparte (David)
Harris Tuttle Contemplating the Basque Hog "Homer" (Colter) Egyptian Soap Opera Episode
The Van Aarden Family Gets Blitzed on a Sunday Afternoon (Gin Stein) Portrait of the Artist's Father (Rubik)
Levitating Lucinda:  the Copeless Children (Bacon-Fryer) Saul, on the Road To Damascus, Receives the First Unsolicited Pop-up Ad (Di Luca)
The Great Liechtenstein Plastic Surgery Malpractice Lawsuit (Ballooni) Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe  Introduced to the Concept of Birth Control (Rumdens)
Failing at Patronage, the Artist Experiments with Corporate Sponsorship (Botch) Poster for Spielberg Comboid: Amistad Jaws  
Unfixed Portrait of the Duchess of South Flanders (San Quentin Marsalys) High and Outside: Street Beggars Take an Opium Break (Venable)
Saint Francis on Ecstasy (Ballooni) Wood vs. Composite Gear Debate (Greko)
Early Comic Strip (Unknown Artist) Unhappy Man Fondling a Mallard (Tulusletrack)
The Artist's Harem Indifferent to the Vision of the Floating Hairy Breasts (Millibar) Adam and Eve Perfect the Hokey-Pokey (Gassart)
Landscape with Cardinal, Passenger Pigeon and Enormous Cat Head (American Primitive) The Ill-Sighted Dentist (van Ham)
The Shy Nude Model  (Angers) The Picky Eater (Moanet)
Tony Frascatti Questions His Need to Pledge Alpha Delta Triskelion (Boggle) Washington Crossing the Styx (Got-Loose)
Portrait of Oswalt von Reesen, Inventor of One-Way Glass, with an Unsuspecting Neighbor (Dewar) Greg Determines That He Does Not Need Relationship Counseling (Ingrates)
The Satyriasis Victim Describes His Plight (Jordache) Portrait of George W. Bush: The Global Makeover (van Eyk)
The Lester Children Find Mommy's Happy Pills (Lester) Dorothy: The Later Years (Bogdown)
The Village People on USO Tour (Bel Verdure) Portrait of Annabelle Sturtevant, Heiress to the Gro-Rite Fertilizer Fortune (Rowhoe)
Cheaters at the 1st All-Nude Ghent-Bruges Triathlon (van der Wayout) Award Winner, Portraiture Category, Alamena State Prison for the Criminally Insane (Name Withheld for Privacy)
A Meeting of the Anti-Intellectual Guild (Rumdens) David with the Head of Godzilla (Caravangeo)
The Big Acapulco Gold Score (Cacciatore) Foul (van Myopic)
Rogaine®: the Early Years (Castile) M.A.D.G. Intervention, West Umbria (Ralph)
The Bead-Gatherer Revealed (Tenderetto) We Three Kings: Royal Portrait of Charles Ia, Ib & Ic (van Duck
Benjamin Franklin Gathering Neighborhood Boys to Play "Fly the Kite" (West)   "Nyet!" {The Tsarevna Sophia Alexeevna Refuses to Pose in the Nude} (Rapein)
Self-Portrait with Porta-Palette™ (Luster)    
The Master Belcher of Rotterdam (Mazurski)   After the Pequod: Moby Dick's Later Years (Padarhadamom)
A Sad Fish Tale, or, Against the Advice of His Wife the General Orders the Fugu Blue Plate Special (Fedora)   Appalachian Methamphetamine Lab (Boggle VIII)
Nude Portrait of Olga 'Dolly' Partonzherebtsova (Velour)   Howard Begins to Worry that Something Untoward May Have Happened to Him During the Fraternity Rush Party the Previous Night (Gerôme)
Dreams of a Young Swineherd (Gainesboro)   Marat's Snooze (David)
Premonition of a Future Catastrophe (Hilda, Guard of Bingen)   Portrait of Jonas Gumbleby, Pigpiper (Colter)
The Bashful Exhibitionist (Calleybottle)   Mlle. Sylvie Eustache, Chanteuse et Ventriloque (Dragass)
Cover Illustration for The Hardy Boys and the Hunt for the Headless Horseman (Cima)   Portrait of M. and Mme Claude Moanet (Dragass)
Jesus the First at the Bethlehem Livestock-Baby Exchange (Bassbanjo)   Madonna and Chine (Basterotti)
Benjy the Dwarf Cops a Feel (van der Cleavage)   A Big Confusing Battle (Addledorfer)
First Thanksgiving Pre-Empted by Secular Demonstration (Jennie Brownscoff)   Portrait of Basil of Kiev, Inventor of Earmuffins
The Doctor Flipped Off in His Surgery (Hogwarts)   Schubert's Unfinished Fifth (Melegh)
The Traveling Padded Brassiere Salesman (von Achin')   The Artist's Discount Warehouse Studio (David Tenears the Younger)
Portrait of Sir Thomas Magnuson and Family  (Jonathan Mott Cortland)  
Young Esteban Gets While the Getting Is Good (Pere Borrell del Cashflow)   David Wearing the Head of Goliath (Dory Gustafff)
The UFO Incident at Galilee (Jacopo-Giuseppe Palma (Jack-Joseph Palmer)   Christmas Transfixed (Manet Régrette)
The Unanticipated Visitor (Petrus Pestus)   Dancing With The Stars (Gustafff)
Portret van Kind Rots (Rumbrand)   Portrait of Sylvia von Hardcase (Dixie Otto)
Portrait of the Artist's Brother [aka Eddie's Last Gasp]  (Dixie Otto)   Revenge is Sweet, You Bastard!  (Dixie Otto)
The Third Day After Thanksgiving (Giovanni di Polenta)   Dr. Jekyll's Last Experiment (The Morgue Brothers)
The Heartbreak of Table Tennis in the Era Before Tennis Tables (Andrew Ambrose)   The First Gray Hair (Gustav Courgette)
When It Rains Fire, It Pours (Anonymous)  
The Last Supper(?) (attributed by some to Leonard DiCapriovinci)   Crucifiction [sic] Fresco, Syria (Attributed to Anonymous until 1978)
"Portrait of the Lady Anne of Oakley" Bison William Cody (1627)   Mr Harriman and Mrs O'Reilly Caught in the Act Joachim Antonisz Whitewhale
Life Before Martha Stewart Joachim Antonisz Whitewhale   The Column Before the Storm (Zbigniew Skzafvinstavitch)
The Stupefied Babysitter (Adolph Boogaloo)
  The Day the Prozac Train Was Late (Pieter Artschool)
The Muffed Commission (Antoine Wierdest)    

About Us

Entrance to The Gallery of the Unidentifiable

Entrance to The Gladys Dwindlebimmers Ralston Gallery of the Unidentifiable

© 2008 Ernie Jurick / Andrea Nicolaides  - All rights reserved; all wrongs revenged
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