Douglas M. Hughes
Corporate Communications, from A to Z

Student's Lament
Tune: Home on the Range

Oh, give me a break;
How much more can I take,
As assignments are piled to the skies?
You want essays, I've heard,
Of fifteen thousand words,
And God help us if we plagiarize!

Homework is a pain!
It's a strain and a drain on my brain.
For seldom do we
Have a night that is free
To keep us from going insane.

Oh the students are miffed
That we need a forklift
Just to carry our backpacks around.
We're wondering why
Teachers pile it so high.
Perhaps they get paid by the pound!

Homework is a bore!
It's a chore, and there's more than before.
So our essays, though full,
Are 99% bull.
It's the one part of school we abhor.

Homework is the pits!
So stressful, it's giving me zits!
It's made me a wreck;
It's a pain in the neck.
Even more--it's a pain where I sits!

Teacher's Lament
Tune: Homeward Bound (Paul Simon)

I'm grading students' term assignments; most of them need some refinements. Ooo-ooo.
My students' style is very dull,
And reading it's unbearable;
Their reasoning is terrible,
And I can't climb in bed until
My homework is done:
35 papers,
And they just do one!

CHORUS:
Homework! The students hate it.
Homework! It's hard to grade it.
Homework! It's overrated.
Why's it fall to me?

Tonight I'll find things wrong again;
I won't be done till after ten. Ooo-ooo.
I had to give one girl a "D"
And made her folks my enemy.
They're burning me in effigy;
I need someone to comfort me!

My homework is hard.
(I wish it wasn't!)
I'd rather...eat lard!

(repeat chorus)

Why's it have to be?
I'll get to bed by three!

Since high school, Doug has had a knack for creating parodies of popular or traditional songs. He has employed this talent to pay tribute to family and friends, or simply to entertain, as with the two songs at left--both written about the topic of homework, but from two different points of view.

Doug is currently writing a full-length musical, created entirely of parodies of Broadway and pop tunes.

Want more?
See other song parodies that Doug has written by visiting his family website.