dragons killed the dinosaurs

Bisexuality

    This is primarily a page about bisexuality, but it's difficult to write about bisexuality without bringing homosexuality into it. So, that's here too.  If this offends you in any way, shape or form, I suggest you get the hell off of my site.  All gone? Good.

    There are plenty of sources out there on the Web for anyone who is gay or lesbian, but not many for those who are bisexual.  Most of the ones that are available are dating services, which to me is somewhat insulting.  There's a widespread assumption that bisexuality is about sex and it isn't.  One of the first questions I encountered in coming out was, "But how can you be sure, if you've never slept with a woman/man before?"

    I can't speak for anyone else, but I find this incredibly rude.  It's an insult to my emotions and intelligence.  Repeat after me, folks- "Love is not about sex."  Whether you're gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered, whatever, love is not about sex. Period.  If you are asked this, then look back at whoever you are speaking to and ask them the same question.  Not only have you just blown their argument out of the water, but it's entertaining to watch them get all flustered.

What exactly is bisexuality?  Bisexuality, for most of us, means that we are attracted to a person regardless of gender.  "Hearts not parts" is a common bisexual slogan.  It's the concept of loving a person's spirit, and there is absolutely no reason this shouldn't be allowed.  I am a HUGE supporter of gay marriage, and if you and your boyfriend/girlfriend wish to get married, I encourage everyone to have loud and boisterous ceremonies.

After all, there's nothing illegal about the ceremonies.

Some people who are bi identify themselves as leaning more towards men or more towards women.  This is perfectly normal.  I don't, personally.  For me it's a pretty even split, with slightly more interest in women because most of my friends are straight guys.

Should you come out of the closet? This is a personal decision, and it's a huge one.  You can never take this back once you've openly stated that you're gay/bi/lesbian/transgendered. Are you comfortable coming out? That's really what this comes down to.  My first advice, though, is that if you have any doubts about your parent's reaction, wait until you are at least 18 and self reliant.  Approximately one fourth of people who tell their parents they are gay are disowned, so this is a legitimate concern.  If you feel you have to tell them, make sure you have somewhere to go.

Why did I come out?  I came out because my sexuality is a very large part of me and I refuse to hide who I am.  Not everyone knows, because I live in a small community and there is a very real danger of gay bashing in any small community.  Most of my family knows and those who don't, have not been told out of respect for my parents.

If you absolutely have to tell someone, but don't know who to tell, a close friend of the opposite gender is usually the best person to tell.  Their reactions tend to be the most positive.  Of course, telling anyone who you've heard make anti-homosexual remarks is generally not a good idea.

Can homosexuality/bisexuality be 'cured?' This is bullshit.  Sexuality is not a disease/mental disorder/whatever else it's being called now.  There is absolutely NO real proof that this sort of therapy works, and a helluva lot of evidence that it is incredibly damaging psychologically. Of course, bisexual women do marry men and vice versa.  This doesn't somehow magically make them straight.  Do straight men stop looking at attractive women when they get married? Do straight women stop looking at attractive men when they get married?  Of course not.  The same thing holds true.

LINKS

http://www.siouxlandpride.net/ICONS.htm  Pride Icons and their History.

http://www.bothways.com/both2003/hibw.htm The album Having It Both Ways by Tom Robinson, the artist who wrote and performs Sing If You're Glad To Be Gay.

http://quasisemi.com/humor/ind.php?id=313 Twelve Reasons Gays Shouldn't Be Allowed To Marry.  This is a wonderful satirical list, which is unfortunately taken as anti-gay too often by those who are apparently incapable of understanding the English language.

http://www.bidstrup.com/cool.htm This is a great resource for teens and parents alike.

http://www.outproud.org/  Another great resource.

http://www.outproud.org/brochure_for_parents.html  A resource for parents.  

All pictures not otherwise accounted for are from Dree Dreslough's wonderful site, Dreslough.com