A Mothers Love

A letter to those Mothers out there who have lost a child...

A Mothers Love

I watched my toddler run and play today, with fits of giggles, as
he explored. Experiencing the simple joy of life....amazed by every
little thing.

And I thought of you.

He squealed in delight as he discovered new things. Stomping in
water puddles, or diving into a freshly raked pile of leaves. Enjoying
his growing independence, his pleasure made more complete by the
safe cocoon of his environment.

And once again, you came to mind.

As he curled up in my lap for storytime, he nuzzled close ~eager to
hear of all things that are positive and good; with stories of happy
endings. I revveled in the sweet serenity of that moment, and the
unbreakable bond that a Mother and Child share.
As I kissed his sweet little head,

my eyes welled up with tears for you.

Experiencing day to day the rapid growth and changes of this little
"Whirlwind". Not wanting to blink, for fear he will be grown and on
his own in the wink of an eye.

And my heart aches for you.

In peaceful slumber, he looks like an Angel. His light blonde hair,
with loose curls-now tousled in sleep. His bright inquisitive blue eyes,
and mischievious dimples "recharging" for the next day of Adventure.
His sweet little face, free of stress and worry. Negativity and danger
are not yet a part of his loving world. Sometimes I stand at his door,
and just watch him sleep. Thanking God for this miraculous gift, and
wishing I could keep him safe always.

And I feel the tears start to fall for you.

He will be awake soon, full of questions, inquisitive, and so full of
energy! As I watch him explore and play, I wonder what he will want
to do with his life? What challenges await him? How far from this safe
haven will his travels take him? What kind of negative forces will he
encounter along the way? Have others he will meet ever known this
kind of love?

As a Mother, I fear the worst. Anxiety and panic grip my heart and
my soul. I know I cannot stop him from growing up, and I cannot
shield him from what may be his destiny. The cold hard reality of
things beyond my control...

And your pain becomes mine.

I try to imagine a world without him. An existance without my
beautiful child, the one thing that is the very best part of me. And
it feels too horrible to conceive, I don't know if I would have the
strength to go on. My Faith would truly be put to the test. I pray
God would take me-and spare this blossoming innocent life.

As he brings me his Teddy Bear, and shows me where the imaginary
"boo-boo" needs a kiss; I gently kiss the pain away on the cuddly bear.
And wish all his adult pain could be solved so simply. As he runs back
to his room ~ satisfied that everything is "All Better", I bow my head,
and pray for you. And in my prayers,

I pray that I would be as strong as you.

In Loving Memory
Chris Trickle, Ennis Cosby, Davey and Clifford Allison,
John Nemechek, Adam Petty, Kenny Irwin,Tony Roper,
Dale Earnhardt, and Blaise Alexander

To the many women all over the world, who have lost their precious
children, and still somehow found the strength to go on-this letter is
also dedicated to you...
NO parent should ever have to out~live their children.

Dena Willard

May God be with you, and you know his sweet peace.
May the pain ease, and the memories become sweeter
as the days go by.

Music: Claire de Lune
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