A Little Something for the Season
By D. Sidhe: Erika
Category: Humor
Rating: G
Disclaimers: Byers, Langly, Frohike, Jimmy, and Yves belong to Chris Carter, but after the way he treated 'em, I doubt anyone will spend a lot of time getting even with me for this. Apologies to Hostess, Nestle, M&M/Mars, Nintendo, and George Lucas. Additional apologies to Natasha Henstridge and also to Michael Madsen, just 'cause I like apologizing to him. Frohike may have been looking at Eve, but by God, I had my eye on Press. He can get even with me all he wants.
Archive: If you want it, take it.
Spoilers: None.

Author's Note: Sure, Trick-or-treators in their neighborhood are improbable, but not any more so than Men in Black and water-powered cars.

Summary: Candy from strangers…

**


The door buzzed, and Byers glanced at his partners. They were both so into a horror movie, either Species or the sequel, Byers honestly couldn't tell, that he knew they weren't getting up. He set his book down with an almost-irritated half-slam.

"Keep it down, Byers!" yelled Langly. "We're tryin' to watch a movie!"

"Yeah, and this is the good part," Frohike added. "She's practically naked."

Byers shook his head and went for the door. He blinked for a moment at the video feed, and then angled the camera for a lower view than normal.

"Uh, guys?" he called. "We've got… visitors."

Frohike glanced over at his expression, and stopped the movie. "C'mon, Langly. Let's see what's up."

Langly heaved a dramatic sigh and followed reluctantly. "Probably Jimmy. I bet he forgot his keys again."

"No," Byers said. "It's definitely not Jimmy."

"Yves?"

"No."

Frohike glanced at the feed and laughed. Langly decided it was probably worth a look. "So who is it?"

"Can't tell," Frohike said, grinning.

"They're in costume," Byers elaborated, starting to undo the locks.

"I hope they're in costume," Frohike laughed.

"Well, jeez, Byers, don't let them in! How do you know it's not The Man?"

Byers glanced at Frohike, eyes sparkling with mischief. "The Man is usually taller than this. Do we have any candy?"

Frohike smacked Byers' arm. "Langly's got Sweetarts stashed away somewhere. Go get them."

"I'm not giving my Sweetarts to any little freeloaders," Langly said indignantly. "Anyway, I'm out."

"Hang on, kids," Frohike told the intercom. "Just get something, Langly."

"Come on, Langly. You have to have some candy bars, something. I'll buy you more later," Byers said persuasively, getting

the door open to reveal…

"Trick or treat!"

Frohike tried not to snicker. "So, uh, what are you supposed to be?"

Byers smiled. "If I'm not mistaken, this one is Princess Amidala, and this is a witch?"

"Wiccan!" the girl—who couldn't have been more than twelve—corrected.

Byers inclined his head slightly. "Of course, I'm sorry." He turned to the third figure. "And you're a Pokémon. Totodile?" The kid nodded and held out a half-full paper bag.

"Slim pickings in this district, I guess," Frohike said, giving Byers an odd look. "Langly, get them some candy."

"Why can't we give them something else?"

Frohike glared at him. "Like what, coffee? You think they want some leftover pizza? Maybe a copy of the Zapruder film?"

The kids stood and stared, totally baffled. "What's a Zapruder?" the Totodile asked.

"You're not very good at this, are you," the witch observed.

Frohike laughed. "We don't get much practice. Where's your parents?"

"My dad's back there, watching. And he's huge. So don't try anything, okay?"

Langly snickered. "That one'd probably be happier with pepper spray."

Byers frowned. "Tradition calls for candy, Langly. Besides, we should encourage a sense of community here. That's what this country was founded on, the common good—"

Langly cut him off. "Anything to stop the lecture. Jeez." He stalked off to his desk and dug around. "Okay," he said resignedly, "I've got some Ding Dongs."

"Those are the ones wrapped in foil? That won't work. They have to be factory-sealed," Byers explained.

Langly sighed theatrically. "Fine. What about M&M's?"

"Unopened?"

Langly rolled his eyes and held out his offerings.

Frohike snorted. "One-pound bags? You've been holding out on us."

Byers held out his hand, but Langly brushed past him. "Okay, this is for you, and here's one for you, and here's one for you. And here's three copies of our last issue."

"The parents see those and they'll take the candy away," Frohike predicted.

"And never let them out of the house again," Byers added.

Langly sniffed indignantly. "Listen, they've got to be smart about what's out there…"

A man in a dark coat appeared from the darkness. He was, as advertised, huge. "Everything okay?"

Byers tried for reassuring. "We were just looking for some candy for them. We don't get very many trick-or-treators."

"Yeah, and they got a million locks on that door!" said the wide-eyed Amidala.

The man gave them a hard look.

"They're giving us papers," Totodile informed him, still puzzled. "And really big bags of M&Ms."

The man shrugged. "So what do we say?"

The Gunmen looked at each other, not sure what was called for.

The man nudged the witch. "Well?"

With a chorus of "Thank you!" the kids headed back for the street at a run.

"Kids. What can you do?" The man shrugged at them again, and went after his charges.

Frohike carefully closed and locked the door, before joining the other two in helpless giggles.

-end-



Harpy hdsidhe@gmail.com Handmaiden of the Goddess of Irony

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