A word, well, several words, about
the geoduck. The first thing you need to know about it is, you're pronouncing
it wrong. Try this: "gooeyduck". I know, you want to say
it like one of those silly little cars, but it's got, really, practically nothing
in common with the silly little cars. Frankly, it's bigger than the
silly little cars. Well, okay, that's not true. But it sure looks that way.
Being confronted with a geoduck is enough to frighten shut-ins and small children.
It's a lot bigger than it should be, but it still looks a lot bigger than it
is. Geoducks have no sense of proportion.
The Nisqually Nation in 1917 issued a firm rebuttal to the linguistic misapprehension,
explaining that the word is derived from "gweduc", which means "to
dig deep" in their language. They're not the only ones to have claimed
the word, though. The Chinook, the French, and historians trying to pretend
Hudson's Bay Trading Company had some kind of redeeming virtues, have all declared
it theirs, in addition to a rather improbable story about a duck-hunting governor
of our state. Nonetheless, say it "gooeyduck". Go on, do it. Just
to make me happy. It's a fun word. Gooeyduck. I mean, it's not "weasel"
or "rutabaga", but as these things go, "gooeyduck" is a
first tier fun word.
Okay, so what exactly is this thing I've just learned to say, you might be asking.
A geoduck is a shellfish native to the waters of Puget Sound and the fish mongeries
of Seattle. Otherwise known as "Panopea generosa", (the newfangled
Linnean is "Panopea abrupta", but I have no truck with that sort of
thing. I'm still holding a grudge over the Mahonia renaming. Call me a traditionalist.)
or simply, "that big clam that looks like a horse's willy". And oh,
boy, does it.
Sometimes pin crabs live in geoduck shells. The geoduck doesn't seem to get
anything out of this odd domestic arrangement, but the pin crab will occasionally
dine on bits of clam flesh. This might bother the geoduck, or it might not.
It's hard to tell. They don't use phrases like "clam up" for nothing.
As NOFX once said, "Clams have feelings too (Actually they don't have central
nervousness.)" In any event, a number of juvenile pin crabs may be found
in a single geoduck shell, but if the crabs are adults, you only get a single
pair. Also of conceivable interest is the fact that geoducks, as do all bivalves,
create pearls, though in the geoduck's case it's a chalky little lump. A geoduck
can live to be a hundred and forty years old.
Often people who are squirted by a
geoduck imagine the things racing away under the sand. This couldn't be farther
from the truth. An adult geoduck has a very small foot, and can't actually burrow
much at all. Once you dig him up, he's going to stay there till he dies. If
you just want to look at one, you can dig him up, but be sure you handle him
gently, and you place him back, right side up, in the hole and fill it gently
in again, holding the siphon upright until the sand is filled in around it.
If you want to dig up a geoduck on
a Washington beach, you can get a license here:
http://www.wa.gov/wdfw/fish/regs/2002/02regs-3.pdf
Be aware, however, that the bag limit is three per person per day, you may not share a geoduck container with another person, and it is illegal in this state to possess only the neck, or siphon, of a geoduck.
If you want to know about red tide
in geoducks, you can look here:
http://www.doh.wa.gov/ehp/sf/biotoxin.htm
If you want to buy a picture of it
to hang on your wall, you can get one here:
http://www.chartingnature.com/Geoduck-3530.cfm
If you want a copy of the Field Guide
to the Geoduck, you can buy one here:
http://www.sasquatchbooks.com/cgi-bin/WebObjects/SBBooks.woa/2/wo/xa5nqTFAkHcmFabAeEbJS0/2.0.52.32.2.0
And if you want to eat a geoduck,
there are a lot of organizations out there that can help you adjust your medications,
or at least fit you for a straightjacket until you come to your senses. Many
crazy people feel they make a very good chowder, but you couldn't prove it by
me. Frankly, they're rubbery, greasy, and gritty. They taste like fried fat.
Given the choice, I have willingly licked banana slugs rather than eat geoduck.
(I have eaten geoduck. I've also eaten sea cucumber, squid, sea urchin, and
octopus. I still feel guilty about that last. No one tell Magic.)
Harpy dsidhe@comcast.net Handmaiden of the Goddess of Irony