Holidays of Slaughter By: Deven Parker

Every Thanksgiving and Christmas, millions of Americans sit down to enjoy a hearty feast of stuffing, sweet potatoes, and most importantly, turkey. This deliciously tasting bird is one of the things that can really define the winter holidays. In fact, many people refer to Thanksgiving as “Turkey Day.” But does the average American really know the ordeals which turkeys go through in order to arrive on dinner plates? I believe if Americans possessed this knowledge they’d be a bit more reluctant to ask for second helpings on Thanksgiving.

When I was in grade school, I learned that “the reason we eat turkey for Thanksgiving is because the Pilgrims and Indians ate it on the first Thanksgiving.” Being a young vegetarian at the time, I raised my hand and proudly told my third grade teacher that my family didn’t eat turkey on Thanksgiving, because the people who took care of the turkeys were mean to them. My teacher shook her head disapprovingly and asked me if my family and I were vegetarians. When I told her we were, she inquired as to what my family did eat on Thanksgiving. I informed her that we had “tofurky” and eggplant parmesan, which prompted a roar of laughter from my classmates. After that day, I tried to avoid the topic of Thanksgiving in any conversation.

Although this story might seem amusing to you, what I said to my teacher in third grade is true. As much as we try to deny it, cover it up, and look the other way, the fact is that turkey abuse is real and horrifyingly gruesome. Commercially bred turkeys grow up never seeing a mother’s nest. A few weeks after they are hatched, they are crammed into tight sheds, with only three square feet per bird. In fact, they are so tightly packed that a portion of their beaks and toes are sliced off with a hot knife so they don’t scratch one another. As expected, many turkeys die in these sheds after only a week of staying there. They either drown in their water bowls or starve to death. Due to growth promoting drugs, turkeys grow at a rapid rate and are taken to the slaughter house at 14 to 18 weeks of age. While there, the birds are hung upside down by their legs and are dragged through a “stunning tank.” However, many dodge the tank and are fully conscious when their throats are slit and feathers boiled off. Oddly, for some reason, the Humane Slaughter and Welfare Acts exempt turkeys from protection. I guess they consider the treatment of turkeys in turkey farms to be “humane.” Besides the fact that it tastes good, I don’t understand why anyone would want to eat turkey after learning all of these facts. In addition, turkey meat contains no fiber or cholesterol, just fat. It almost makes “tofurky” look good.

I hope you all had a good Thanksgiving and will have a good Christmas this year. Remember to fill up on cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie, and sweet potatoes, but to politely decline the turkey. May you be happy in the knowledge that a helpless bird was not burned, electrocuted, drugged, cut, and boiled, just for the sake of your stomach.

"Don't eat me. Bizatch"
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