It's good to be the king.
Speaking of suicide, Jack Kevorkian must be stopped. He's not assisting in suicides, he's killing people. If you are in great pain and suffering from an incurable disease, than use one of the methods I outlined in my Guide to the Best and Worst Ways to Commit Suicide. There are literally hundreds of ways of taking your own life. Go ahead and try one. But don't cop out and have someone kill you. Ted Bundy was only assisting suicides. It's just that the two girls in the FSU chapter of Chi Omega and all of his other victims from Washington to Florida didn't know it. Charles Manson is just as flamboyant a killer as Jack the Dripper. He's only slightly more crazy. "Assisted suicide" is illegal in the state of Michigan, but for some reason they can't keep this guy behind bars. For all of you who sympathize with the loved ones of those terminally ill people, there are alternatives to your pain other that the dangerously compromise the medical profession. Above all, do no harm.
And another thing ...
I don't know how I managed to miss this topic. Abortion! If that isn't a polarizing issue, I don't know what is. And in light of the fatal abortion clinic bombing in Birmingham, I think it's something that needs to be addressed. First of all, I think I've got an appropriate punishment for the person who blew up the building. This is a good one for a religious fanatic. (Okay, I'm assuming the guy is a religious fanatic. Okay, I'm assuming the religious fanatic is a guy.) Get an old man with a long gray beard to dress up in robes and pretend to be God. Then send the guy into the convicted party's cell and in his deepest God-sounding voice say "I didn't tell you to do that." Then the imitation God pulls out a gun and blows the guy's head off. Admit it. That would be funny. I am not going to align myself with either the "pro-choice" or "pro-life" crowds because I think they're both nuts. My problem is with the extremism in both camps. (And I use the word "extremism" in the true sense of the word and not the politicized way Washington Democrats use it.)
First the pro-lifers. The way to win converts is not to preach Jesus (see earlier comments on proselytization), kill doctors or to blow up buildings. You have to try and change peoples hearts. You need to convince the undecided that the little fetus is a life from the get go. That does not include screaming evil things at young pregnant women entering clinics or carrying large pictures of aborted fetuses. That will only turn off people to your cause. Encourage adoption. Better yet, see that the pregnancies do not occur in the first place. Now, for you pro-choicers. Unfortunately, many of you seem to feel that if a pregnancy does not end in abortion that some wrong has occurred. That's not pro-choice. That's pro-abortion. You need to convince the undecided that an abortion should be one viable option regarding an unwanted or unplanned pregnancy, not the only option. Stop droning on about how if abortions are banned that the only other option for pregnant women is a coat hanger. It is not true. And those of you who support partial-birth abortions are vile, disgusting human beings.
I am for maintaining the legalization of abortions, but for as few of them as possible. I do not believe life begins at conception. However, abortions should not be allowed after the point that the fetus can sustain life outside the womb. Of course with medical advances, this date is moving up all the time. And while I am truly "pro-choice", I have to admit that Roe v. Wade is bogus law. To base a woman's right to have an abortion on the 14th Amendment to the Constitution is a joke. It's just another ruthless twisting of our nation's highest laws. To sum up, let me throw you this curveball. The declining moral standards in the world has certainly led to an increase in the number of abortions. The increased number of abortions has certainly led to a lack of personal responsibility and therefore a further decline in moral standards. Vicious little circle, eh?
And another thing ...