She sells sea shells by the seashore. She should find a better location. I mean really, if I'm at the seashore, I can pick them up off of the beach for free.
Okay, back to the queers. (I don't mean that as derogatory. I think they like that term.) I have nothing against homosexuals. Actually, the more gay men the better the odds for me. But gays and lesbians (or as I like to call them, vagitarians) really need to get off of the whole gay marriage thing. It's insulting to heterosexuals and does nothing to further your cause of acceptance. Marriage has been an institution between men and women for thousands of years and it's worked pretty darn well. (Well, except for recently when people put more thought into choosing a long distance carrier than a marriage commitment.) It provides the basis for child rearing. The wife tames the husband. The husband provides for the wife. (Don't start screaming about the whole chauvinist thing. I'm not one. I know women don't need men to provide for them. I'm talking about tradition.) Homosexuals claim that they do not have the same legal rights as heterosexual married couples. Fine, Bruce and Charles, sign a binding legal contract that says you own half of each other. That should do the trick. Hell, most companies are bending over backwards to give y'all the same benefits as married couples. Some are justified. Some are not. There are a lot of gay people who don't want gay marriage. They enjoy the impermanent nature of gay relationships without a marriage contract. For those of you gay people who want spend the rest of your lives with one person, do it. I think that's great. Less promiscuity is good for straights and gays. Just lay off the marriage thing. If a marriage between two men or two women is valid, how about two men and a woman or three women and two men? They all love each other. How about a brother and sister? They are very committed to each other. A man and his dog? There you go PETA, choke on that one.
And another thing ...
I am watching Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young on VH1. I want to say from the outset that I enjoy their music very much. There is just nothing sadder to see than old hippies that just won't shut up and go away. I have trouble with hippie music in general. I have CSN albums. I have the cast album of Hair. I have the "AM Gold" compact discs from Time-Life that include several hippie songs from the 60's and 70's. (Hey, don't laugh. There are some good tunes on there.) The music is good. But I just cringe at the stupid flower power, free love, brotherhood of man, drug use, anti-establishment lyrics. I appreciate the music more than the lyrics in most songs. Without the words, you can still have a great song. Without the music, you have a crappy poem. Neil Young is singing a classic hippie line, "Look at Mother Nature on the run in the 21st century." Unfortunately, the accompanying music sucks too, so this song is completely without redemption. And the dopes in the audience look like they're having a group orgasm hearing the wisdom of their elder hippie icons. Hippies be gone! Go smoke your pot until you're so stoned you all jump off of a cliff! I know they'll be dying pretty soon. I can't wait. David Crosby sang something earlier about lying in the House and the Senate. Gee, I wonder whom he was supporting for president in '92 and '96. You big fat hypocrite! The thing is that the very anti-establishment crowd that protested everything in the sixties are the establishment of the current day. They are in control. They've gone from opposing the government they perceived as an oppressive entity out to destroy the world to running the government as an oppressive entity that just wants to help you. I guess I'm just not as enlightened as these fine citizens who changed the world. What? There is still war and hatred and disease and hunger and suffering in the world? Oh well guys, I guess you just didn't try hard enough. Try putting out another album. That ought to fix everything.
And another thing ...
Wayne LaPierre was right. Bill Clinton needs senseless tragic murders to occur to further his political goals. Is there anyone in the world who doesn't think this lowlife is capable of such opportunistic deceit? He and his whole gang of thugs (Al Gore, this means you too) are worse than ambulance chasing lawyers. Oh yeah, they are lawyers. Well, Bill will be until he gets disbarred for being a lying bastard. There is only one conclusion that can be drawn from their rhetoric. They want to confiscate all guns. ALL guns. Well, that's just great. Forget about all the crimes that are prevented by citizens who own firearms. Forget about the fact the our founding fathers thought that gun ownership was so essential that they made it the second item in the Bill of Rights. Forget about the fact that we already have volumes of gun laws that are not prosecuted by the Clinton Justice Department. More laws are going to do the trick? They want all of them. And they're certainly willing to take several years to scare you into thinking that the only solution to gun violence is to go door to door and gather the guns. How many school shootings were there before Bill Clinton took office? Not a lot, right? How many since? Exactly. We don't need gun control. We need Clinton control. Guns don't kill people. Irresponsible people kill people. Evil people kill people. The problem with these tragedies is not the guns. Blaming an inanimate object is stupid. We are making bad people. Societal decay has led to a decreased respect for life. Then there is always that good old truth that says that if you make gun ownership illegal, only criminals will have guns. Think about it. What city has some of the strictest gun laws in the U.S.? Washington D.C. What city is routinely at the top of the homicide list? Washington D.C. Australia confiscated guns from law abiding citizens. Murder rates have increased. Assaults have increased. Armed robberies have skyrocketed. But the Prime Minister said that "self-defense is not a reason for owning a firearm." Are you getting it now? I don't own a gun. I don't really want to. But if I feared for my security, I would like to know that I could buy one. Did you ever notice that the cops usually show up at a crime scene after the crime has occurred? I'd like to be able to stop it from happening. So please, don't let these people scare you into giving up a constitutional right. I wish more murders would be committed with knives. I'd love to see the knife control legislation proposals.