You're hurting right now. I know. Believe me. As much as anybody can know, I know how much it hurts.
There's very little anyone can say to offer comfort. There is nothing anyone can say to make things better or bring that person back. You're emotionally shattered, you physically hurt. You're confused, devastated, and you have no idea what to do. You know you want to do something, but you have no idea what. If that person was a child or spouse or someone you live with, you're especially devastated and most likely see your life as bring destroyed.
But know that there are people who understand just how much you hurt. Nobody can truly understand exactly how you feel. Every person is unique. Is there anybody in this world who is exactly like the person you lost? Exactly like you? No. Your relationship with your loved one was truly unique, and nobody knows exactly how you feel. But we do know the depth of the hurt you feel, and we feel for you. One thing that is universal amongst us all is how deeply we love. Many of us have experienced losses similar (though not identical) to yours. We can offer you our sympathy and support, and maybe, just maybe, give you a little hope for the future.
Coping with a loved one's death is the hardest thing you'll ever do. I won't sugarcoat it for you. You will be experiencing pain. The pain will be emotional, mental, and also physical. The pain will seem like it will never end. The pain is brutally complete and absolute.
But it is also a testament to how much a human being can love. We are gifted with the ability to love so deeply and completely that losing the person we love can devastate us.... at least for a time. How long you will be torn up will be unique to you, and nobody can even begin to guess how long it will take to heal. But rest assured that healing will happen. It's why I'm writing this page right now. Because my loss is only just over 3 weeks old. My devastation was complete. My spirit, heart, soul, and mind were ripped apart in the matter of a few minutes. I still physically, emotionally, and mentally hurt. But I see now that there is indeed hope. There is indeed a healing process going on. I can see now that it will take time, but it will definitely happen. And I can see that at some point in the future, I'll be happy again.
What can you do right now?
The best thing you can do is to be honest with yourself and those around you as to what you are feeling. There is no shame in telling people "I hurt right now more than I've ever hurt before in my life." Let the people close to you know that you're still in pain. Putting on a false show of bravery will only make people believe that you're ready to go on with what they consider a normal life. They may then have expectations of you that you're not emotionally ready to to meet.
If you don't have a counselor, then get one. If you're covered under a medical plan, you may be able to call your provider, explain the situation to them, and have them help you locate a counselor. If you don't have a provider to call, or are unsure of how to reach them, then see your doctor as soon as possible and tell him what happened. He may want to check you out to make sure that the physical stress isn't hurting you, and he will be able to refer you to a qualified therapist to help you cope. And please believe me, we have not been trained in life as to how to cope with losing a loved one. Everything we've been taught while we grew up as to how to deal with death is either wrong or doesn't help us. Whether you're male or female, a good therapist can help you deal with this. Check the link on the left for resources to see all that's available to you.
You may find that doing some things are very difficult or impossible right now. For example, if you lost your spouse/domestic partner, and he/she was the one that handled the finances, you may have no idea how to handle them yourself. You may find it difficult to organize things in your house, you may find it difficult to go grocery shopping, or you may find many other things that you took for granted before to be frustratingly difficult (or impossible) to do. Don't be afraid to ask a close friend or relative for help. That is very important! If you need help from someone, don't be afraid to ask for it.
It's also very important to talk with other people. That's where the "be honest with yourself and others" comes into play. Click on the link to the left for available resources. I found that a certain chat room hosted by GROWW.ORG to be particularly helpful. I went in there nightly and found great comfort in the support I got from everyone. I still go there now. It's full of people who have experienced losses like mine, who know how much I hurt, who know how hopeless everything seems, and who also can offer advice and comfort.
The healing process will be long and hard. It will happen eventually, but the actions you take (or don't take) will influence how long you'll be in this pain and how long it will take to enjoy life again. It's never to soon to start healing. Even if you're too emotionally and physically devastated to consider a course of action, simply checking out the resources available to you will help you acknowledge to yourself that you're doing something to start the healing process. So check the links out and other resources I'm listing.
And remember, I know how badly you hurt.