In My Humble Opinion
by
Eddie Rhoades

• "Odd, but I can't remember how to spell alzhiemers."

• "They can have my trowel when they pry it from my cold, dead fingers."

• "Veronica, it's no secret, plants are sexy."

• "What Happens At Bittersweet Gardens Stays At Bittersweet Gardens"

• When I graduated from high school I searched the want ads for a job diagramming sentences and there were none.

• At my age, "afternoon delight" means taking a nap!

• Sometimes when I get lonesome I sit down and write a nice long cheerful email - to myself. (beats nothing)

• I just saw that picture of cousin Bubba (which looks an awful lot like Eddie) and he is so ugly it made my eyes water.

• How come there's no pineapple right-side-up cake?

• Truth varies with the individual.

• Every apartment complex should have a sign that says "Return shopping carts here"

• I sure do miss the dog that I washed with "Spot" remover.

• If camera lens are round then why aren't pictures round?

• If moths like the light so much why don't they come out in the daytime?

• If lady bugs are all LADY bugs then how do they propagate?

• You don't have to remind people to borrow money. Why should you have to remind them to pay it back?

• If an orange is orange then why isn't a banana called a "yellow?"

• Why aren't there any "GO" signs?

• Dear Relatives: If you are going to give us gifts at Christmas, please also give us a place to put them.

• The Department of Transportation has found a cure for kudzu: pave over it!

• Don't you hate standing in line waiting to pay for your gas while other people gamble?

• When buying a birdhouse always make sure the entrance hole is near the top to allow proper space for the birds to come and go after a full nest is built below. Some birdhouses have the entrance hole positioned like the entrance to a human dwelling. Avoid buying these and tell the craftsman why.

• Why not round off every purchase amount to the nearest nickel? Surely it would average out and it costs more than a penny to manufacture a penny.

• Popcorn is for the birds! If you go to the movie and have leftover popcorn don’t throw it away. Take it home and feed it to the birds - they love it

• Indian Reservation is just another way of saying prisoner of war camp.

• It's odd that there are no examples of xeriscaping at the newly landscaped Cobb County Water Authority.

• Drivers please pick a lane and stay in it.

• There are too many things in the world that go "beep".

• It's not what happens, it's how you react to it ...

• Dear Mother, It's an answering machine for recording messages not entire conversations.

• There's no need for a potato peeler to swivel - I have a built in swivel in my wrist.

Testimonials

• I have not laughed and enjoyed a website like yours ever. Although not comprehensive in the way of plants and flowers I found myself reading everything. When I read about your finding a new girlfriend for your rooster BB, I started laughing pretty big. Then I listened to the Dolly Song...my stomach was spasming by then. As a coup-de-gras I read your tips on fire ants. That did it! I started guffawing so hard my dogs started barking at me. It has taken me 15 minutes to get myself under control. Thanks so much for sharing your humor and love of life, as well as plants and people.
  -Carole from Suwanee

• Eddie, what a breath of fresh air your website is. Thanks for the timely advice, especially on the fire ants!? Bookmarked your page in my 'favorite places'. My favorite spot on your website is definitely "In My Honest Opinion". Looking forward to your updates.
  -Becky

• Checked out your website, it¹s wonderful - lots of fun and very professional.
  -Mary

• Fire ants were interesting - good picture. We listened to the Dolly song and became hysterical.
  -Amanda & Ken

• Plugged your Dolly song in the tape deck and almost fell out of the car. We listened to it four times and soon were singing along to the top of our lungs!
  -Gerry & Faye

• Mighty sophisticated site for someone who didn¹t even have email a short while ago. I like your short articles.
  -Hal (the Great American Gardener)

• Enjoyed your website - amusing yet informational.
  -Mike

• This here is the best website on the Internet!
  -Cousin Bubba

• I create sites all the time, and always have strong opinions about how things should be, but yours has to be one of the best examples of how the web should be used that I've ever seen.
  
  Strong points are: multi-faceted (many different things to look at and read - and not all rigidly-related to gardening), and personal (obviously not a 'corporate' site - which makes everything more interesting, and it gives the reader a rich impression of who you are as a person).
  
  Thanks for helping to make the web a friendlier, more human place to be!
  - Andrew Doss

• Eddie, I think your website is splendid. It's well organized and very attractive. I couldn't help but explore all the links. Well done.
  - Judith