Now That They've Come, How Do We Make Them Behave?
Workshop at
Governor Dummer Academy
Sept 2003
personal
website:
http://home.comcast.net/~egallaway
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“If you work in a library, you know this scenario... Thank goodness I work with teenagers, and not with genealogists…" (Patrick Jones, Connecting Young Adults and Libraries, second edition New York: Neal-Schuman, 2000 p 71)
Do you have ephebiphobia? Fear and loathing of youth.
Icebreaker – perceived images
Draw: a librarian as perceived by a teen, a teenager as perceived by a librarian. How are the two visions alike? How are they different?
Why do teenagers act the way they do?
A new study suggest the brains of adolescents are undergoing huge changes in short amount of time, very similar to the way their brains changed between the ages of 1 and 3. Maybe that explains the terrible twos style behavior – their favorite word is NO, they don’t listen, they don’t think ahead, and they are prone to temper tantrums.
Teenagers may need to be taught how to behave in libraries. One strategy that worked in Haverhill was to meet with groups of kids over a period of two to three weeks. We asked them to develop a sense of ownership of their public library. The library, as a community place for people of all ages, is a place of respect, and we expected them to act respectfully. We explained exactly what that meant. Maybe this could be part of introductory library tours. Invite students to come up with their own rules and behavior policies.
On Rules:
The less rules, the better. Teens will hold you to the letter of a rule; be prepared for challenges.
Word rules in a positive way: “Thank you for not eating or drinking in the library” is better than “No eating or drinking in the library.”
Leave rules open ended, ie, “Please don’t disrupt others” (librarians decide what is disruptive).
Teens rebel when they have something to rebel against.
Increase their responsibilities and freedom of choice, and they have nothing to rebel against, and can use their energy for other purposes.
Nip bad behavior in the bud:
Teens do not have great volume control. Be a little forgiving of noise levels. Disruptive behavior is different than noise. Does the media center provide specific space or times for group work? Is this a possibility?
Be consistent. Same rules apply for everyone, all the time – INCLUDING STAFF.
Don’t threaten or ignore, present choices: “If you choose to continue this behavior, you are choosing to leave the library.” “You can find something library related to do, or you can leave.”
When a group is getting out of control, target the group leader. You might pull him or her aside and ask for some cooperation in setting a good example for his friends, or you might speak to him or her in front of their friends – occasionally, a little humiliation pays off in the long run. If you toss the leader of the gang, chances are, the unruly friends will either follow or settle down to work.
Try a “three strikes and you’re out” policy. The first time, speak to the student(s). Remind them of the consequences of their action. The second time, just make eye contact as a reminder. The third time they repeat the behavior, ask the student(s) to leave. Everyone starts over with a clean slate upon reentering the library.
Try a “good cop, bad cop” routine. One staff member goes over to a table and advises the group to keep it down, otherwise the coworker might get upset and toss them out.
If you feel it is safe to do so, invade personal space and talk seriously and quietly.
Be firm - once you make a decision to ask a teen to leave, stick to it. They will respect you for keeping your word.
Consider giving a teen a notice in writing if there is a certain period of time they are out of the library.
When you ask students to leave, have a meeting upon their return to the library. Ask them to explain why they were asked to leave. Reinforce the “consequences of their actions” idea.
Don’t just talk to teens when they are doing something wrong. Reinforce good behavior by letting teens know that you appreciate it when they are behaving appropriately.
Know when to get a manager, security or police involved when a student’s behavior moves from disruptive to threatening to himself or others.
Reminders for librarians:
Don’t escalate, don’t engage, don’t explain, don’t argue. Stay calm. The less you say, the better. Sometimes just standing quietly and staring will get desired results.
Don’t abuse your power. If the library is empty, why do we need a librarian? Our jobs depend on the students we serve.
Don’t take things personally.
Don’t keep a “stamp collection” – with students OR coworkers.
Don’t forget what it was like to be a teenager
Getting their attention:
Ask those talking to stand up. When no one stands up, say “Good! Then I shouldn’t hear any noise. Thank you.”
When teens are talking loudly, especially when gossiping: Listen in. Ask “And then what happened? Oh, I thought you wanted us all to hear…” alternatively, remind them that everyone can hear what they are saying.
“You forgot the rule: kids swear with kids, adults swear with adults. We don’t use that kind of language together.” (when inappropriate language rears its ugly head)
Resources:
Gallaway, Beth. Now That They’ve Come, How Do We Make Them Behave? 9/4/03. http://home.comcast.net/~egallaway/professional/govdum.htm
Jones, Patrick. Connecting young adults and libraries : a how-to-do-it manual. New York: Neal
Schuman, 1998.
Jones, Patrick and Joel Shoemaker. Do it right! : best practices for serving young adults in school and public libraries. New York: Neal Schuman, 2001.
Haverhill Public Library Behavior Policy. 9/4/03. http://www.haverhillpl.org/About/policies/behaviorpolicy.htm
Poynton, Lynn. The sex lives of teenagers: revealing the secret world of adolescent boys and girls. Dutton Books, New York: 2000.
Pipher, Mary. Reviving Ophelia : saving the selves of adolescent girls. New York: Ballantine Books, 1995
Rubin, Joyce. Defusing the angry patron: a how-to-do-it manual for librarians and paraprofessionals. New York: Neal Schuman, 2000.
The Search Institute. Developmental Assets: An Overview. 9/4/03. http://www.search-institute.org/assets/
Salter, Charles. On the frontlines : coping with the library’s problem patrons. Westport, CT: Libraries Unlimited, 1988
Sarkodie-Mensah, Kwasi, ed. Helping the difficult library patron : new approaches to examining and resolving a long-standing and ongoing problem. Binghamton, NY: Haworth Information Press, 2002.
Strauch, Barbara. The primal teen : what new discoveries about the teenage brain tell us about our kids. Doubleday, NY: 2003.
Zollo, Peter. Wise up to teens : insights into marketing and advertising to teenagers. New Strategist Publications Inc. Ithaca, New York: 1999.