My son-in-law Donald, an insurance adjustor was going to Florida to settle claims that were the aftermath of the 2004 hurricanes. Among the office supplies he brought home to pack and take with him was a stapler, a Swingline chrome plated stapler.

Except when he arrived in Florida, the stapler was gone. He went to Staples and bought a new one.

In early November we celebrated his son Josiah’s birthday. To his astonishment – not to mention his outrage – Josiah received a chrome plated Swingline Stapler from his brother, Tom. Donald chastised his sons accusing them of stealing his stapler. They protested their innocence. He left to return to Florida again very carefully packing a new chrome plated, Swingline Stapler except when he arrived in Florida – guess what? No stapler. He now bought his third stapler. He fired home furious emails to his sons.

Home again to celebrate Thanksgiving, and his birthday. He had demanded that his sons produce his staplers. He wanted to see them on the table, he said, in plain sight when he arrived home, sans duct tape, glue, or any other form of sabotage that (he alleged) his sons are known to employ. Tom and Josiah continuing to protest their innocence of thievery obediently complied. Donald found on the table in plain sight a printout of a photograph of TWO staplers. Despite their angelic faces, it was beginning to look as though Josiah and Tom might be hijacking staplers. Donald muttered and fumed non-stop about his (allegedly) stolen staplers.

To add insult to injury, his office called and asked if he had taken the oversized three-hole punch with him to Florida. “Why would I do that,” Donald asked, very puzzled. “Well,” said the office manager, “you took the stapler!”

For Donald’s birthday the boys had rented the movie “Office Space” which featured a stapler. A stapler that gets stolen. When it was time to open birthday presents. Donald received three gifts from me. He opened the smallest one last. It was a 5" cube, wrapped in Daffy Duck Xmas wrapping paper. “It’s a stapler,” Josiah said. “No,” said Donald, ‘it’s not.” Tom said, “I’m sure it is. You’ve been making such a stink about it.” “I’m sure it’s not a stapler, it’s much too small to be a stapler” Donald bellowed, ripping off the wrapping paper. He opened the box and removed the colorful tissue and produced an Altoid tin.

“See,” Donald exclaimed, holding up the 2"x3" tin. “There is no stapler small enough to fit in this tin.”