Erincita

Sunday, March 30, 2003

265 baby!!! I haven't passed yet simply because qualifications aren't until this coming Tuesday, but I am ecstatic in the knowledge that I am CAPABLE of a 252, hopefully much better. :-) There's really not much else news to report...we started driving and I have been dubbed "speedy gonzales" for a time, physical techniques are still fun and a little dangerous (I got too into it and nearly kneed my classmate and friend Roger in the groin during training exercises), and class is class. Thanks for the prayers! I truely believe that they are partly responsible for my success. I'll keep you all posted.

12:55 PM |

Thursday, March 27, 2003

I am strong . . . I am invincible . . . I am woman . . . HEAR ME ROAR!!! Whoever doesn't know the tune should disregard that line and simply picture me as a lioness. I am the hunter. Thank the Lord for non-lethal physical techniques directly after firearms, when I am most ready to let out my aggression on the poor victim who is unlucky enough to be my partner. Last week we finished up compliant handcuffing techniques. All 23 of us passed the physical exam with flying colors. :-) Now for the fun stuff . . . non-compliant. We're talking about the dirtbags now, the ones who don't "respect my authority" (that's for all you Southpark fans), and give me the finger instead of putting their hands over their head when they are told to do so. No take-downs from standing yet, just control holds and pressure points, and it's two officers against one suspect, which is a more realistic situation. I get to yell until I'm hoarse, "Stop resisting!! Cross your feet!" I even impress myself with the volume I am capable of.
We had no classroom time today. The morning began with the 46 of us filing into a classroom for a lecture on defensive driving and a tour of the driving course. I'm itching to get behind the wheel for skid control and NEVO (the cones) but that will have to wait a little while. After driving we took our class picture (and I just happened to put on eyeliner this morning--I promise it wasn't too heavy, Dad). There wasn't time for lunch but I didn't want to eat right before shooting anyway. It's partly because I get nervous and partly because I strap my belt to third notch (it's on the first under normal circumstances) in order to have the best control at my weapon yet. I'm not where I need to be yet. My score today was 238 out of 252 so I am improving consistently and should be good to go by Saturday as long as I continue to practice my grip-and-draw and keep telling myself to pull the trigger smoothly and watch my sights. And to be aggressive!! I tap my feet on the range before we start the course with the highschool cheer in my head: "Be...aggressive...be be aggressive!!" It keep me calm to sing some kind of song to myself, and I can actually do it out loud since no one can hear me with double ear protection. I'm amazingly confident today and my attitude is unstoppable. I'll be able to make myself study tonight since we didn't spend any time in the classroom today. All you who know how to pray, pray for me, if you don't know how to pray, just hope really hard.

1:29 PM |

Thursday, March 13, 2003

There are a few things on my mind that I think are worth posting.
First off, there is a song written by one of the members of Late Tuesday that's been running through my mind all this week and last week. I can't remember the name of it, but the simple lyrics hit me pretty hard and keep me content:

"...and I am learning to understand why I am here at all, it's not the big things but the ordinary in-betweens,
and maybe this is not the time to be waiting for any better reason to be glad that I'm alive at all."

It's also just a very pretty song that's makes me smile. :-) It reminds me that even decisions made on a whim can change one's life dramatically--haven't we all seen it happen to ourselves or others? The "big things", like this job, might become a backdrop to my life; one of the stable things that I will do day-in and day-out even when "in-betweens" become chaotic. Then again, the job itself, by its very nature, also has some chaos and excitement of it's own.
I also wanted to remind my readers of something that I often have to force myself to remember: The same law enforcement official who gives you a speeding ticket is the same one who has sworn to risk his life to preserve yours. I might have to refuse innocent, ordinary people admission to this country, not because I'm trying to give them a hard time, but because I have sworn to protect the sovereignty of our borders from the entry of terrorists and other people that might threaten our rights and freedoms. I think it's awesome that I get to carry a weapon and that my personal judgement has dramatic effects on other people, but equally awesome is the responsibility that comes along with those priveleges.
That will conclude my "deep thoughts" spiel for today. Although it's only Thursday, most of the class feels that the week is more or less over because we finally took the exam of the week, FLETC 2. Small potatoes compared to some of the exams coming up, but each one we get through means one less book on the pile of texts that we're responsible to understand. I may have already mentioned that we lost two people in the class to the naturalization exams. My last class never lost anyone until the 7th week (for shooting qualifications), and it was a wake-up call to any of us who thought this academy was a mere prerequisite to the real job. I can't quite say that it's a weed-out process, because the instructors, by and large, work very hard to make sure we pass. In the end, however, your dedication and proficiency in regards to the job is mirrored by your performance here at the academy.
Before the test we had shooting practice and physical techniques (PT). I was disappointed by how shooting went. The weather is getting hot and muggy, the gnats are thriving and the bug repellant is only mildly effective. I didn't do horribly, but for some reason I was out of sorts and couldn't seem to get the drill of "two shots, down on one knee while performing an emergency re-load, one shot, then wait at high search" (it's okay if none of this makes sense, as long as you realize that it involves a gun). My hand kept reaching for my holster instead of my magazine pouches, and I kept going down on my support knee instead of my strong-side knee. Trying to correct these problems took seconds off my time, contributing the fact that I had less time to align my sights, which in turn caused me to jerk the trigger out of nervousness, either missing the target or not having sufficient time to get all my shots off. It didn't help when one of the instructors started barking at me to get it together and then scolding me for letting my frustration distract me. He was helpful and encouraging in some ways, but I've realized that as long as I know what the problem is, I'm better at correcting it without someone breathing down my neck. All in all, I'm confident that I'll do better next time and that this is just a bump in the road. This is why we call it practice!
Physical techniques was fun. We've moved on from handcuffing full-body searches (not to be confused with body-cavity search). FLECT policy mandates that girls search girls and guys search guys. For these drills the girls have to wear sports bras and boxers or underwear over our workout shorts and tees, with our uniform on over everything. The workout clothes are supposed to be our skin, meaning your search is complete once you reach that layer. We took turns playing the roles of supect and officer, and my favorite is suspect because it gives me licence to be a pain in the ass. I'm required to be compliant at this stage of the game but I can still complain and mouth off--it's required that officers learn how to respond professionally to such treatment. As suspects, we hide syringes (heroin junkies), gun replicas and knives in our clothes, shoes or socks and the officer must use the correct technique to handcuff, search and place the suspect in a secure area. It's a great exercise to discover from experience how creative people can be when it comes to hiding weapons, ID, drugs etc. If we become suspicion that a body cavity search is required, the suspect is sent to a hospital. Want to know how to tell if someone has swallowed condoms full of cocaine? Drop a pen and ask them to bend over and pick it up. They normally can't because they're stomachs are hard as rocks and they'll have an accident if they try. It sounds kind of funny but it's tragic. 5-year-old kids have been forced into the trafficking business because they are unlikely suspects. Think about it: if your stomach acids can corrode a nail over time, how long to you think it takes to break through a condom? An alarming number of people don't excrete them in time, and if one of the condoms breaks inside you, you're dead before you hit the floor. If the "employer" finds the carriers before we do, he'll slit open the abdomen and take the drugs, most likely leaving the body in a hotel. If he happens to successfully complete the transaction, he'll be killed if the condom count is less than what he was supposed to have swallowed, under suspicion that he sold some along the way. There's no end to these stories and the reality of it is sobering, to say the least.

2:51 PM |

Saturday, March 08, 2003

It seems to me that nobody's been reading my entries, which is understandable considering the long intervals between updates. I'm trying to be more faithful. It's lunchtime, the first break after a morning of firearms and PT. Shooting went very well. I got all my shots off (60 rounds) and most of them hit center mass. Several were in the 3 and 4-point areas but every shot was right on target. Needless to say, I'm loving this gun. It's easier to be competitive when you're doing well. I think I'm naturally a competitive person so I feel like a real loser when things aren't going my way. It was chilly this morning but thankfully there was no rain, so the only frustration we had to deal with was the cold. We have to wear the uniforms we're issued and they simply don't provide well for cold or rainy weather. After shooting practice we cleaned our weapons and turned them in. We have to pass qualification before they issue us a real gun. For now everyone is wearing a silver-painted replica so we can get used to the weight of the gun in our holster and use it for grip-and-draw practice at home. They cannot fire but they're anything but toys. People have been sent home for treating the replicas as anything other than real. We're taught be aware of and protect our weapon at all times. Our next class was our first physical techniques session. Just handcuffing and escort holds. It wasn't difficult but I was a little rusty so it was good review and hopefully I'll find a partner will to practice with me outside of class.
If I am correct, Ash Wednesday was last week. I'm not a Catholic so I don't even know the meaning of Ash Wednesday and might not even fully understand the meaning of Lent. I do remember being very aware of Ash Wednesday when I was in Chile because everyone who observed had dipped their finger in ashes and put it to the center of their forehead, leaving a black mark there for the rest of the day. I sometimes participate in Lent. I think that the meaning of sacrificing something over Lent is to remember the sacrifice of Christ, and how He fasted for forty days while walking alone in the desert and being tempted by Satan. It's a like a preparation for Easter, when we can rejoice the salvation resulting from His sacrifice. Sacrifice is also to be a reminder for us to look more closely at how God has worked in our lives and to thank him for our blessings and earnestly pray "without ceasing". I forgot about Lent last year, but the year before that I gave up salsa dancing, which was a big sacrifice at the time and allowed me to reflect on whether it was really a good thing for me to be doing in my spare time. A couple nights ago I was sitting with some classmates at dinner and since Jaime, like most Catholics, had given up meat on Fridays, we all began to contemplate on what we would or should give up for Lent. Most opted not to observe, but I wanted to and couldn't think of anything. Carlos suggested e-mail and everyone else agreed because I am an e-mailing fanatic. I check it two or three times a day on average. I think it's important to keep in touch so I limited my e-mailing to Mondays and Fridays only. It's going to be tough because it's my primary connection to home.
It's Saturday and we're all looking forward to our day off. I started taking antibiotics yesterday so I can't drink for a whole month. I don't normally drink anyway but it becomes part of the lifestyle here so I'm a little disappointed. I can't wait to sleep in tomorrow, this schedule and really wear you down.

8:43 AM |

Thursday, March 06, 2003

It's been awhile since I've updated. I'm just not in the mood to write lately, and this entry is probably a subconscious act of procrastination because I don't want to study anymore. Two exams today. We just finished the first one, CPR. I made one mistake, which wouldn't be so bad except for the fact that I aced it last time. The test coming up after lunch is FLETC 1, dealing with stress management, constitutional law, FOIA, privacy act, ethics & conduct, EEO, sexual harassment, victim & witness awareness, and a bunch of other stuff that I can't remember at the moment. It's all stuff that should be second nature for law enforcement. I think I might have aced that exam last time too. Tomorrow we have another naturalization law test, and then shooting on Saturday. I'm hoping to do really well on my shooting. So far I'm really enjoying it.
It's only 8:50am and so far it's a gorgeous day, sunny and warm. It'll probably end up hot and muggy so I'm trying to enjoy it while I can. It's only Thursday but I'm already thinking about the weekend. Some of us are thinking about staying in on Saturday night (a good plan if Carlos promises to make us some more of that home-made salsa) and going to lunch and a movie on Sunday. Sounds good to me. Last weekend we went to a sit-down restaurant in town and people started buying rounds of beer for everyone. Considering that I get pretty relaxed after half a bottle, three Coronas probably wasn't using my best judgement. I ended up going to bed at 10:30pm on our only night off while everyone else was just warming up and going to the G-bar. I decided I can do without the G-bar this time around. My room is so nice I'd just as soon stay in and watch a movie or something.
One of the things I've never been able to figure out is my particular brand of homesickness. For some reason I never get sick for "home", but rather other places I've visited. I'm way too prone to nostalgia in that sense. I can spend hours in a funk just because I miss something about Chile or Paraguay or even UW, though that's unlikely. I need to be gone for several months to really start missing home. One thing I start missing immediatly, however, is a home-cooked meal. It's a nice trade-off to never worry about cooking (or paying) for your own food, but even restaurant doesn't quite measure up to home. I miss mom's spaghetti sauce and her chicken curry. It'll be quite some time before she makes that again because the way things are turning out, I'll be home the day before or even the same day everyone leaves for Germany. Germany!! Can I get some sympathy here? Not that I really care for Germany in particular, but I've never been to Europe and if anyone knows me at all, they'd understand that I have travelling bug inside me that refuses to be squashed. We were talking about different posts over breakfast today and I think that INS Headquarters in Europe are located in Italy. Now THAT would be nice. I wouldn't mind going on detail almost anywhere at this point, when I have nothing holding me back. I've already mentioned my addiction to fresh starts.

6:04 AM |