Erincita

Thursday, September 25, 2003

MCI is going to be here this evening! I'm so excited! He's on the plane right now, hopefully getting some rest. I'm rushing around trying to make myself and the house somewhat presentable. With all the packing things have been kind of chaotic and the best we've been able to do is isolate the chaos into one room: mine. Wow, I can't believe I'm moving with my fiance. I've become totally comfortable with idea of going to Michigan, but that's only part of the story. I'm kind of tired and crazily busy, so I guess the next update will have to wait. Wish me luck! There's a chance that baby lexus will be home tomorrow!

1:17 PM |

Saturday, September 20, 2003

I'm using Dana's computer at work to write this post. I'm just going to sit and wait until she gets her lunch break. There's no food at home and I'd rather buy lunch than go grocery shopping with money I don't have. I don't know which is more expensive, just what's easier.
I didn't really go out of my way to come see her. I was on my way back from Bellingham with what was supposed to be my last packing trip. I can't believe there's 4 trips worth of packing to do! I have to go back anyway for the walk-through. Yesterday I packed the small furniture and whatever else I had left in the apt and spent this morning cleaning everything in order to get my deposit back. The time in between was spent with some of the gals from work. I considered it a kind of closure, even though I'm coming to realize that I don't need closure. I'm far to excited to go to Michigan to spend anytime dwelling on the job I lost. It was a little sad to go out with the girls from work for the first time and enjoy it so much knowing that I wouldn't have the opportunity again. Five of us had dinner at Red Robin and then went to a nightclub called the Royal. Very nice, considering we were in Bellingham. It was just a normal club setting: a few drinks, some dancing, some annoying drunk individuals. I had a nice time and was able to say good-bye to everybody.
The challenge remaining is packing up for the trip back east. I've got to be choosy, because after all the trouble I've had with the apt I'm sure that not everything I want will fit in my beloved baby lexus, which is still getting TLC at Precision Collision. Mi pobrecita... The house is so cluttered. The boxes lying everywhere are so imposing that it's hardly worth cleaning the kitchen. Until everything is in order the house is total chaos and I just don't enjoy being there, but the show must go on.

2:26 PM |

Friday, September 12, 2003

I have a feeling that most stay-at-home moms who are nags don't start out that way. My previous theory was that so-called "nags" just marry the wrong guys to start with and then spend their marriage trying to "fix" them. I won't withdraw this hypothesis, but I want to submit another. Women who spend all day at home, either taking care of kids or just doing household chores may not even realize how much their lack of adult conversation affects them. I spent today at home alone because my parents left for a road trip, my sis was at work, and I had some things to take care of. I talked to my fiance a couple of times but we tend to re-hash things and talk so often that any news I have doesn't seem significant...at least not to me. However, when I called my friend Jess, I was such a chatterbox that she could hardly get a word in edgewise. Same thing with my poor sis (who has tons of news!!) when she got home from work. I remember at FLETC a guy complained that when he got home from work, his wife would just go on and on about her day and not even ask him about his. I've decided that it's not that she didn't care, but she wanted to get out her thoughts to someone who could understand things on her level. Anyway, I just checked all my cell phone messages and I'm so incredibly thankful for all the people who love me, support me and want me to keep them posted about present and upcoming challenges. Some of them don't read the website, but for those who do, thanks for reading!
As for things that have happened...I filed a claim for unemployment and got my car in the shop. The estimate is staggering so I can only thank God for insurance and for the car itself taking the beating instead of me. I have some leads but have to send resumes ASAP, but there's more anxiety over the car because we're very unsure about when I'll get it back. Best-case scenario is the 26th (and auto-rebuild joints aren't known for best-case scenario ratios, and worst-case scenario is early October. I wouldn't care if I wasn't MOVING, but I've done all I can and according to my insurance agent, they're on schedule so I can't expect much more from them. My only worry is that I'll be so pressed to get out of town that I'll miss something about the engine or, more likely, the suspension that isn't quite right. I won't be coming back here so things have to be as close to perfect as possible. For now anyway, life is pretty good. It's been a good day. Dana likes my brownies. :-)

10:44 PM |

Monday, September 08, 2003

In the past few days, alot has happened, but my life took a major turn on this particular morning. Anyone who has been keeping up with my website for awhile knows that I worked--and worried--my ass off while at the academy and spent many a night wondering if I was really cut out for this job when I was finally ready for the field. Was it all for naught? With 20 days left on my probationary period, I was informed of my termination this morning. No gun, no badge, no credentials, no more Officer Erincita. It's just plain old me again, unemployed and displaced in the universe. Life's kinda crazy huh? You think that when you invest yourself in something it's going to pay off. Let me bring you all up to speed and I may be able to convince you that all of my work and frustration was, in fact, "worth it". Before that, I must be perfectly clear that my termination has nothing to do with my conduct or ability to do my job. I was fired because, even after all my work at the academy, my firearm skills did not meet standards:

"Quarterly firearms qualifications are a requirement of your position as an Immigration Inspector. As a result of your failure to acquire and maintain firearms qualifications, you are being terminated. Your termination from employment is being effected to promote the efficiency of the Service."

So I can't shoot, so what? It wasn't on my list of life-long priorities. Still, it kind of sucks to get fired, and I'm not going to be gleeful about it. I feel like I've been dumped. It wasn't really my fault and it doesn't mean I'm not a good person with plenty of skills and potential. . . it just wasn't a good fit, and it's time to move on. For now I feel relief, it's kind of like being on vacation. However, I know that the carefree feeling will soon melt away into the horrible depression that comes with being unemployed--that is, if I don't do anything about it.
As is my custom, I see this as an undeniable, but somewhat mixed blessing, from God. Only last night I cried myself to sleep because I was so torn between keeping my job and earning money for the future and spontaneously moving to Michigan to be with my fiance who, let us not forget, I would never have met if I hadn't gone to training for my now nonexisent job--twice! I consider myself to be a romantic, but it doesn't change the fact that I am my parents' daughter, and much to my fiance's dismay, I chose to stay on and work in Washington and told him that the only logical choice was to wait until an opportunity presented itself. Yesterday I was working hard and making good money, but today, by signing on the dotted line, the guesswork has been taken out of gambling with my future. All of a sudden I have almost no reason to stay here and every reason to go to Michigan. I plan to be with my sweetie by the end of the month. From there on, I'm not sure, but that was this journal was created for. The sketchy plan is to find an apartment together and start building a life together. I need to find myself another job out there, and marriage will work its way into the picture soon. The Lord works in myserious ways.
The really bad news has no silver lining. Yet another collision. No injuries, no other cars, no passengers, no complications. My brand new baby lexus is hurt and I've become so attatched to her that I found myself talking to her, stroking her and promising that I would make everything all better. People keep saying I'm so lucky because: a) I wasn't hurt (this was a potentially fatal situation), b) I didn't hit anyone else, c) I can pay the deductible for the insurance. So yeah, things are great considering what could have happened, but wouldn't things be so much better if it hadn't happened at all? This is my rationale. Hey, the law says I'm an adult so I guess I have to act like one and roll with the punches.

11:09 PM |