I wanna say thank you for honoring my grandpa tal d. Bonham it means so much I am Heather the one he dedicated clean children jokes to my grandmother is gravely I'll and this just made my day thank you
God the Holy Spirit
“I believe in the Holy Spirit;” (Apostles’ Creed)
“All scripture is God-breathed.” (II Timothy 3:16)
Q. What happened after the introduction of the Revised Version, The Revised Standard Version, The Phillips Translation, The Living Bible, The Good News Bible etc.
A. The Holy Spirit led us to places the Holy Ghost didn't.
Q. What is the “Vulgate”?
A. The version of the Bible that Spock reads. (Jerome 1:1)
Q. Why does the Reformed Church frown on Bible roulette?
A. You could open the Bible first to “Judas went out and hanged himself”, then to “Go thou and do likewise” and finally to “What thou doest, do quickly.”
(Matthew 27:5, Luke 10:37, John 13:27)
Q. What Bible verse have children used as an excuse for not going to school?
A. “For in much wisdom is much vexation, and those who increase knowledge increase sorrow.” (Ecclesiastes 1:18)
Q. What is the simplest way to reject the New Testament?
A. Say: “It’s Greek to me.”
Q. Which verse promotes the Bible on CD instead of the book?
A. II Timothy 2:9 states: “The word of God is not bound.” (KJV)
Q. What is the simplest way to reject the authority of German theologians?
A. Say: “It’s Bullgeschichte!” (Nicht “Heilsgeschichte.”)
Q. Which verse have new translations avoided putting into street language?
A. St. Paul states: I “…do count them but dung, that I may win Christ.” (Philippians 3:8c, KJV)
“…the Holy Spirit said, Set apart for me Barnabas and Paul for the work to which I have called them.” (Acts 13:2)
Q. Why is there a shortage of clergy?
A. “Many are called but few are home.” (Matthew 22:14, The Tele-Marketers Version, better known as the “TMV”)
Q. What is a Christian preacher?
A. A Rabbi without cutting remarks.
(Galatians 2:3-5, Deuteronomy 10:16)
Q. Where does Jesus emphasize the importance of people who
work for the church?
A. In Mark 6:8 the text says: “He ordered them to take nothing for their journey except a staff...”
(from God Is Still Laughing I:
The Revised Heidelberg Catechism Joke Book 3rd edition)