Chez Watt Winners 2003

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06JAN03:
Francios: Chief Inspector Pagano! I am glad you are here! We have a
MURDER!

Pagano: A murdair?
Francois: Yes, monsieur, the body is over here.

[The two men survey the body, laying on the ground in a fetal
position. It's a white male, hands bound behind his back, he is also
wearing a gag and a blind fold. He is not breathing. Pagano
reaches down to check for a pulse. Finding none, he stands and
straightens
his overcoat.]
Pagano: So how did these happen?
Francios: We do not know yet, sir.
Pagano: [Eyes Francios warily] You do not...n-yew?
Francios: No sir!
Pagano: [Waving dramatically] This man is not dead? Francios: [Incredulous] Not dead, monsieur?
Pagano: No!
Francios: But...monsieur! He is not breathing! He was almost
certainly murdered!
Pagano: [Haughtily] Can you tell me how he came to be dead?
Francios: Well, no, but...
Pagano: Then he is not dead!
Francios: Sir! The evidence! He is not breathing!
Pagano: It does not matter! If you cannot explain how he came to be
dead, he is not dead!
[Pagano returns to his car, followed by a befuddled Francios.
He gets in and starts the engine.]
Francios: Monsieur! The body!
Pagano: Francios, when you can explain how the body became dead, then
we will have a dead body. [Pats him on the cheek] Do not worry,
Francios, you will learn these things and one day, you will be a chief
inspector, also!
[Pagano drives away. Francios stares after him, eyes
wide and mouth agape. "Pink Panther" theme.]

05FEB03:
> According to the article, they lost and regained [wings] at least four
> times. I can hardly wait for the ID interpretation.

That's simple. First they lost the information about how to build a
wing. Then they lost the information about how not to build a wing.


04MAR03:

Staggering, your intellect. And then clinging to a lamppost.


01APR03:

We could be 100% ape and we still wouldn't be apes.


01MAY03:

Caves? I thought this was in Africa. Where are there caves in Africa?


02JUN03:

> Better question, why cannot 'life' be conceived in any laboratory
> situation?

The only cute lab assistant doesn't drink.

01JUL03:
We had a tie for this month:

You should realize Usenet is a strange reality where you see people
beating up a patch of grass where nine years ago there used to be a
horse.

==========
Making a theory and using it to make predictions and then testing
those predictions with observational and experimental data may seem
like good science, but it's not. In fact, it can lead you far astray
from the truth. It should never be used by any competent scientist.

27AUG03:
>You are cribbing from a creationist quote mine.

No, actually, I'm not. I read the majority of those quotes in a book
I read. The book is called, "Darwin On Trial." Ever read it?

01SEP03:
Maybe we are seeing light that hasn't reached us yet. Why does light
have to reach us for us to see it? Couldn't we see it on it's
approach?"

01OCT03:
We had a tie this month:

Every single one of your ancestors scored!
==========

Your ignorance is the big bang of ignorance, inflating at exponential
rate, giving birth to entire universes of densities so high that the
very fabric of space-time itself is being rent. Ignorance came into
being with you and is defined by your being. You are the fundamental
particle of ignorance and all ignorance is measured in terms of you.
You exist at the center of an ignorance well so massive that you may
well be the force to slow the expansion of the universe that science
has been seeking.

Indeed, I would place you in the killfile but the gravitational
lensing effect from the density of your ignorance is making it
difficult to determine your actual location. And that it is also
possible--though speculative--that adding infinite ignorance to the
quantity of stupid already in my killfile may cause my newsreader to
be "pinched off" this universe and into a closed sub-universe of
duh...

04NOV03:
do you think maybe, just maybe that the peppered moth situation was
due to the fact that the moths with the darker coloration were more
apt to survive since they were camoflaged on the darker tree trunks
and the brighter colored moths didn't have a chance of surviving
since they stuck out like sore thumbs, hmmmmm????? that's not
evolution, that's called luck!!!! lol

[This month a special award goes to the record holder for Most Votes Per Word:]
> Phobophile...

02DEC03:
And if you can't make sense out of what I say, how do you know it is nonsense?
made this cake." Proof that there was no recipe!

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