This
night, I attended a
service at Newark Memorial High School commemorating the passage of
one year since the
torturous and brutal slaying of 17 year old Gwen Araujo at the hands
of acquaintances on October 3, 2002. I feel a special closeness to Gwen
because both she and I are Latina and transgendered. Looking at her picture
harkens back fond memories of my youth and makes me ponder about how alike
and how different we are. Gwen had the courage to be genuinely herself
to her mother, family and friends and earned their true love. She chose
to engage and live her real life as she knew how braving the scorn and
ridicule she suffered from those who would not understand her, even rejection
from her church. Finally at the hands of such as these she paid the ultimate
price of her life.
At that age I lacked Gwen's courage, and for fear of rejection I hid my true self from family and friends. I forced myself to externally conform to social expectations and mindlessly echoed the sentiments and phobic prejudices promulgated by the church establishment. In the eyes of many, I appeared quite successful as a respectable and accomplished medical professional serving children and youth. But this was a mere shadow of a life, full of lies, fear of discovery and ultimately despair. After a very dark period and near brushes with death by my own hand, I finally came to a reckoning and acceptance of myself and a spiritual reconciliation with the help of Dr. Rebecca Allison in the summer of 2002. The following months for me were the start of deep soul-searching and a cautious and gradual removal of the facade. In the process of admitting the lies, I have lost the respect of some very dear people who valued the facade, but I have for the first time experienced the true friendship of those who value us for who we really are.
The news of Gwen Araujo's tragedy in October, 2002, touched me very deeply. At once I admired her for her being so honest about herself at such a young age, but I was also deeply impressed with the urgency and need of our youth to be allowed to be themselves without fear and danger. Gwen's example motivated me to learn more about transgendered youth in order to serve them in my medical profession, and later to collaborate in establishing saveTyouth to support the spiritual interests of our transgendered youth.
I shed my tears for the loss of Gwen, for the grief her family showed that night and for the grief of all of us who have long suffered pain from uncaring individuals. And now I thank Gwen for her inspiration to all of us to commit to working for a more loving and accepting world for all.