Other Writings

Tuesday, March 9th, 2004

A glimpse of hope

A glimpse of hope, a smile, a hug, some joy...
then returning memories of searing, crushing pain--
flesh and blood being torn away--
utter grief, darkness and despair...
fear and despondence.

An endless dead meaningless grey limbo, stripped of feeling...
the only hope to survive that soul's shadow held tenuously.
The past beckoned with illusions of reclaimed bliss
but tears blurred the apparition
and nightmares of reality reared their ugly head,
beating into submission, worthlessness,
with only the ghosts of tears to cry.

A long imprisoned, starving, dirty, miserable and beaten child--
released and nursed to health with balm and love...
a spark of love and beauty slowly grows and flourishes.
Yet the past scars remain to haunt and trouble her tender heart.
A tear, a shudder return--
a pause to tend slow-healing wounds...
then hope again...
comtemplating the One who bore our wounds
that release us from captivity.

Surely he took up our infirmities
and carried our sorrows,
yet we considered him stricken by God,
smitten by him, and afflicted.
But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed. (Isaiah 53:4-5)

Wednesday, July 30th, 2003

Further thoughts on transgenderism

Is transgenderism a form of depravity? I say not, since at the root of all our behaviors are people with unquestionable gender identities.
But by the grace of God I am what I am. (1 Cor 15:10)
I agree that we all occupy some position on the gender continuum, and we are what we are by the grace of God, not by some divine mistake. We emotionally intersexed people and our physically intersexed brothers and sisters are all God's children, and no one who feels uncomfortable with us has the right to force any of us to one or another extreme of the gender spectrum.
God's word is living and effective, sharper than any two-edged sword. It penetrates and divides soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the reflections and thoughts of the heart. Nothing is concealed from Him; all lies bare and exposed to the eyes of Him to whom we must render an account. (Heb 4:12-13)
God's gaze penetrates through the shirt and pants, or the blouse and skirt, and through whatever body configuration we have to our bare souls, and He transcends our petty secular and cultural prejudices.
God is a Spirit: and they that worship Him must worship Him in spirit and in truth.  (John 4:24)
Above all He values our worship in Spirit and Truth, and truth requires our honesty and openness to Him and among ourselves.

Friday, July 11th, 2003

Reflection

I see it as yesterday, though two years have passed.
It was a wrinkled, shriveled face of death...
A pale, hopelessly dying shell of a human
Weathered by long years of deceit and fear...

Staring at me from the far side of that mirror.
His feeble face betrayed surprise, no less,
Watching as my fingers felt my face, as did his,
Our faces did meld in reality.

Although the memory of that time does persist,
Now true, that face shines bright with love for life
And beauty that the ignorant call "reprobate."
Thank God for His love that saved us from death.

I love the Lord, for He hath heard my voice and my supplications.
Gracious is the Lord and righteous. The Lord attends the simple.
For Thou hast delivered my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from falling.
I will walk before the Lord in the land of the living.
I will take the cup of salvation. His servant am I.
(Psalm 116:1,4,6,7,9,10)

Tuesday, June 17th, 2003

Where have all the flowers gone?

Where has all the childhood happiness gone?....Ridiculed and smothered
Where have all the tears gone?....Stifled and concealed
Where has all the caring gone?....Snuffed out
Where has the hope gone?....Crushed

Where have all the children gone?....Beaten and torn from loving arms
Where have all the baby teeth gone?....Flushed
Where have all the children's pictures gone?....Shredded
Where have all the toys gone?....Smashed and trashed
Where has the parents' joy gone?....Interdicted
Where has the impostor gone?....Discovered to the truth


Where has the Lord gone?....He has never left
Where has the loneliness and despair gone?....His endless love has disspelled it
Where has the child gone?....He has released her from captivity
Where has the spirit gone?....He has revived and refreshed it
As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God...
Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him. [Psalm 42:1,2,5]

Monday, March 31st, 2003

Tough love?

Why does someone inflict pain on someone else just to get what they want,
and then say they are doing it out of love?
It's emotional pain to the emotionally dead.
It's pretty pathetic... to try to inflict pain,
when you're in so much pain that you can't feel the difference.
Perhaps... the "pain" can be seen as a release...

Do your loved ones do this to you, too?
Do they try to help you by rejecting you?
But after so many rejections, you learn to cherish the distance they impose,
and you yearn for the ultimate deliverance.
You become thankful for each rejection as a step closer to that release from the numbness,
for that is how you will become truly alive.

Tuesday, March 18th, 2003

Troubled Spirits and Selfishness

We are often called self-centered, perhaps we feel justified after a lifetime deprived of joys that others take for granted.
Offering oneself as a provider of security, affection, etc. as we may creates expectations among those for whom we care.
And when they perceive this source to be jeopardized by the uncertainty of change,
it is human nature for them to become more demanding or "selfish."

Don't we all act likewise, demanding more of our Heavenly Creator when our own spirits feel troubled?

Wednesday, March 5th, 2003

Personhood

Wherein lies the essence, the seat, of our personhood?
Is it within a mass of protoplasm and organelles contained within our epidermis,
dictated by the expression of random pairings of DNA molecules
and their interactions with the chemistry of the environment?

Or is it perhaps within our soul--that autonomous spark of consciousness,
creativity, joy and love that our Creator imparts of Himself into the frail physical body?
What then shall be preeminent? Our eternal soul, made in the very image of our Creator,
or an imperfect and corruptible organism?

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His holy name! (Psalm 103:1)
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