Welcome to Laila's and Jaida's Guestbook

We were blessed with two beautiful baby girls on March 6, 2006.

~ ^i^Laila Brooke & Jaida Lynn^i^~

They both grew Angel wings shortly after they were born.

*^i^*Laila lived 17hrs 18min ~ Jaida lived 32hrs 2min*^i^*

I prayed and prayed for those babies long before I was pregnant with them. I prayed for "angels" and that is what I got - in more ways than one.

I have always heard that you will never know a stronger love than the love you have for your child
and you will never know a stronger hurt than losing a child.

Well, I'm here to tell you, those are understatements.
I'm still trying to figure out if my pregnancy was a wonderful dream or if losing them is a terrible nightmare.

I do know this, I could talk forever and try to explain how much those two sweet angels are loved and how much it hurts to not have them with us......

I still wouldn’t even begin to scratch the surface of these emotions.

The only time I held my babies in my arms - no tubes, no machines, just me and them - was
when they were passing away. I held both of them and carried them "Home" - to get their wings.

It was the most beautiful thing that has ever happened to me ~~ Holding each of them - feeling pure, intense love - knowing that they will never have to see the evil of the world - knowing they will never have to hurt, or be heartbroken, or sad - knowing that I was the first soul that they knew.

It was also the most horrible thing that I have ever been through ~~Worse than feeling my womb being cut open and my babies taken out of me. Hearing the words "any further efforts would be futile" - knowing in my heart that God needed them but wanting to keep them - wanting more than ANYTHING to die so they could live, and knowing it wasn’t a choice I had the liberty of making - knowing that I will never hear my little girls laugh, or cry, never hearing "Mommy I love you" - knowing that I will never know what color their eyes were, or what their favorite color would be - knowing that I soon would have breast milk and no babies to feed.

I remember I kept saying "I just want to wake up. God, please let me wake up with them in my womb healthy and happy." I begged and begged for God to take ME instead. I wanted to keep my babies soooo bad. But, like I said, that wasn’t a choice that I was given.

I know God has other plans for me, and my girls.

So - Parents of the world, I say this to you as a mother whose babies can only be held in my heart --

LOVE YOUR CHILDREN!

Play with them, laugh with them, sing with them, hold them, tell them you love them ALL the time. Some people have lost sight of how precious their children are. Maybe because of the "stress" or maybe because they don’t "understand" their child. Parents, that child is half of you. You know that child more than any other people on this Earth.

Mother's: Your child was a part of you before the world even knew they existed.
Father's: Your child wouldn’t have been made if it weren’t for you.

So again, LOVE your children!!!

Every time you look into your child's eyes, remember how it felt the first time you heard their heart beat, the first time you felt them move, the first time you met them, the first time you fell in love with them - and SHOW them how precious they are.

In my opinion, a child is the only being on earth that can make someone feel such pure, raw, beautiful love.

Remember:

Before you knew them, they were in Heaven with God and they looked down
and pointed and said "I want them to be my Parents".

Yes, you "made" them, but they CHOSE you!

Love your child soooo much that at any point in time, if your souls were separated by death, neither one of you will have any doubts of "Did they know I love them? Did I make enough memories for them to keep them going?"

My girls did. And I know, deep inside, that I showed them how much I loved them each and every second I had them. I know that they hear my cries and my prayers and my words to Heaven - and I know I will hold them in my arms again someday.

When it comes to loving your child, don’t leave any room for doubts.

No matter what age they are, tell them you love them - they WILL understand.

I love you my angels! ^i^Laila & Jaida^i^
Jennifer