Part 1: The Pints are just right!

Yesterday I decided to beat the holiday booze rush an went to the liquor store. Big mistake since everyone and their dog was at the liquor store. Since good old SLC proper only has about 5 liquor stores. Now, of course, it was a better decision to go yesterday than it would be to go today when people will bring their cats and parakeets along too. I suppose the wait wasn't that long, but I've always been impatient. I was, however, mildly entertained by the cashier who narrated his latest bender to each and every customer in line:

"Oh man I was on one for six days! I can't believe I survived. You know I find it best just to get the pint bottles. I can drink one of those in a night and I'm just fine. Don't have to wake up and feel crappy. Any more than that and watch out! I really like to drink. But man that was some 6 days. You now if you like that boujelais, you should really try the shiraz."

Part 2: Don't you love Jesus?

My friend the artist Jason Jones works at Meier & Frank where he hangs junk in the store and makes people want to pull out their wallets and spend spend spend. Meier & Frank is a rather large department store in the May Company, and apparently they hire very few people to decorate their stores. Back in October, therefore, M&F started to decorate their stores for the upcoming X-mas season. Now being the person who hangs these decorations, Jason was constantly accosted with people saying:

"EHH EHH EHH Its too early for Christmas!"

Now you could imagine how annoying this would get after a while. Jason, however, being quick on the come back started accosting the pre-season bitchers:

"What's the matter?" he would say. "Don't you love Jesus?"

That shut them up. Shut them up good.