Christmas, 1992
Dear Friends and Family,
I wish I could write a personal note to all of you, but I don't think I can stand to write this out as many times as that would require, so I entreat you to bear with me.
This has been a difficult year for Glenn and me. At the start, Jamie had just been expelled from preschool. We worked with our school district, and he was identified as a high-risk child who was eligible for a special therapeutic preschool. This school has worked very well for him, and he is now part-time in mainstream kindergarten. He is also taking Ritalin. His progress to mainstream first grade would be assured if his fine-motor skills were not still so lacking. We can only hope that continued time and therapy will remedy this.
In the meantime, though, Tom had been failing to make any progress in talking. He has now been seen by various specialists and diagnosed with pervasive developmental delay. This is a catch-all for kids that are not truly autistic but who do exhibit some autistic features. We think that the reason Tom does not talk much is that he is just not interested in other people that much, but is very busy and happy pursuing his own little hobbies by himself. It's swell to be able to keep yourself busy, but he is so self-contained that he hasn't found it worth his while to start talking. Occasional things that he has said suggest that he could be talking a blue streak today if only he chose to.
Pluses: Tom seems quite bright. He could sing the alphabet song through at 18 months on key. He can count to twenty when he chooses to. He is very loving and affectionate to me and to the rest of the family and people he knows well. He exhibits other signs of intelligence like shape recognition and a sense of humor.
It is possible that he would, in fact, learn to talk just fine if we didn't do anything at all. However, right now, we have to assume that he really needs a lot of help. The experts tell us that therapy can help him learn to interact and cooperate with other people. This will spur language use and also move him along in the direction he needs to go if he is ever to succeed in the classroom.
So, right now, when I'm not working, I take Tom to therapy appointments and evaluation sessions. He will presumably be placed with the school district preschool in January.
Right now, Tom can be pretty hard to deal with. If you call him, he runs away. If he wants something, he gestures if you're lucky, and throws a tantrum if you're not. We're frightened about his future and fed up with a three-year-old who behaves like a one-year-old.
More pluses: Language does continue to develop. He now imitates everything you say. Every single word he says without being prompted is a victory. He now cooperates with toothbrushing and holds his hands away when we clean his bottom. He likes to play "Row. row. row your boat" and Pattycake. Also the new therapist finally seems to be making some progress with him, so it does seem to be true that therapy can make a difference. If we keep the right expectations, we can have a lot of fun with him. I just hope he can keep making progress fast enough to keep us from losing our minds.
Prognosis? This is the hard part. It's just too early to tell. He might learn to talk and turn out to have good skills and really do just fine. He might have dyslexia and fairly severe behavior disorders. He might always have to live in a supervised environment or he might to go college and Carnegie Hall. It's really hard not to know what to expect. We just try to stimulate him as much as we can and pray a lot.
The kids are our big news. Glenn still works at Harris. I just finished a big project at First National: Come to think about it, that project was just about as badly delayed as Tom is, and it is finally finished.
In spite of everything, we hope to have a merry Christmas. and we wish for you a Merry Christmas and a very Happy New Year.
©1992,2004 by Mia F. McDavid
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